A Kathryn Tale
by RAWRxIMAxDINOSAUR
Summary: A man dressed in white greeted my mother and I at the door. Sunny Oak Rehabilitation centre seemed like a nice place to get rid of old habits Kathryn POV
1. Un

**Title – **_A Kathryn Tale_

**This story is of my own. Some of the characters are not mine and come from the movie Cruel Intentions in which this story was built from.**

_I'm not sure how well this story is going to work as it will be coming from Kathryn's point of view and I don't know if I will be able to make it out like I am being her._

_The story is set at the end of the movie where Kathryn gets found out about her coke problem and everything else that was written in Sebastian's journal. _

_In this story though Sebastian didn't die and he didn't give Annette his journal, Annette hated Kathryn for trying to kill Sebastian and stole the journal. Realising it had useful information that is when she printed it and handed it out at the first day back of school._

_I know this is sounding confusing already but I want to point out what changes are being made._

_The story starts off at the end and goes through Kathryn's rehabilitation and a drug clinic and then when she gets out and goes on from there. It won't be day by day and will mostly likely skip a week or two between chapters._

* * *

People are constantly pissing me off these days. Sebastian for one; the once other half of me has turned soft and is dating little miss purity Annette Hargrove. Also the new headmaster's daughter.

I got in my limo the first day back of school and Sebastian followed behind me. He looked lost like a puppy on his first walk out of the home. I turned my full attention into finding out what was wrong with him.

"Something the matter dear brother?"

"My journal is missing"

"Oh is that all?"

"I can't remember putting it down anywhere unusual, I remember Annette coming over and we fought…"

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up. We fought and then I put my journal down and stormed downstairs, she followed after but only after a few moments…"

My step-brother was always the one to back track events to find things. Especially if it included his beloved journal. If you ask me that thing says queer all over it. I must say I am very intrigued into what is actually in it though. Sebastian never let anyone read it or touch it. As far as he is concerned it's gold.

"Annette!"

"Excuse me?"

Sometimes he could be an idiot. Did I look like the queen of purity? I think not, I am as far away from purity as people get. Where did he think he got off calling me Annette? Fucking idiot.

"Not you, Annette, she must have taken it"

"Oh little miss sunshine stole your life story?"

"Shut up Kathryn, that book you call my 'life story' has a lot of important things in it. If it got out it could ruin many people's lives, none of which are mine"

"Please Sebastian, what could you have written in that thing that could ruin people's lives?"

Little did I know later on this morning my life would be one of a few that would come crashing before me in front of my whole social circle, mother, step-father and school. Sebastian's life story wasn't exactly his life story. It was more my life story written in his words.

The limo pulled to a halt and I stared out the tinted window, rain fell from the grey sky. The driver got out and opened my door, I stepped out under the umbrella to cover my hair so it didn't frizz. It was the last thing I needed before my first day back speech.

I stepped in the halls of Manchester Prep. The school had been my prison for so long, I had acted like Mary Sunshine through out the halls of this expensive school everyday over the many years I had attended Manchester Prep. My only reason being to get to where I am today. Student Body President and most respected student. You are all probably thinking I'm exaggerating, talking my self up maybe? You are wrong, I am not exaggerating. Everyone worships me, from principal to teacher to student.

The only student that gives no respect for me is Sebastian. My once other half, the only person who really ever understood me. He was the only one who never worshipped me for my Mary Sunshine act, from the beginning he saw right through it. Maybe that's why we fit together so perfectly.

I make my way into the large hall of the school. Students were filling up the once empty seats. My mother and step-father (Sebastian's father) sat in the front row. They never took interest in anything I did, but the new headmaster had asked for them to be present at this year's welcome back assembly.

Once the headmaster had finished introducing himself I stepped onto the podium and looked down at my adoring crowd. All eyes were fixed on me. Their tiny brains intoxicated with the Kathryn drug that so many boys were addicted too and so many girls wanted to be.

"Good morning fellow students. Most of you know I am Kathryn Merteuil. I am the Student Body President of Manchester Prep. For the new students of Manchester welcome to what will be some of the best years of your life"

They were all buying into my speech. Stupid morons, they all stared up at me as if I was some queen. All except for one pair of eyes which were fixed on a blonde seated next to him. None other then Annette Hargrove. The once virgin listened attentively to me as Sebastian tried to grab her attention.

"As a last year student at Manchester I have to say that I have enjoyed my time here and if I could I would stay back just to relive the moments I had in these halls"

Those like fucking Court Reynolds in the janitor closet. Now that was a fun day. Court and I had been messing around in class and I was as horny as fuck. I needed to fuck someone or I was going to go crazy. Although Court is smaller then my usual fucks he still makes me go wild. Anyway getting back to my speech.

"I'm sure all of you last year students feel the same and all you new students will do when it's your time to leave"

I looked up from my cue cards and noticed some people filing out. I looked to Sebastian who seemed just as confused as I was. When I looked to Annette she was not there. I don't know if Sebastian knew but she wasn't in the seat anymore.

"Um…in saying all this…I…I must say that…that it has…"

Now by rows students were filing out. I couldn't believe what was happening who ever walked out on me? Kathryn Merteuil, the one person you can count on inflicting pain on you if you ever cross her or treat her the wrong way.

"Been a lot of hard work…and…with that…excuse me but where do you all think you're going?"

I shook my head. Stepping down from the stage I walked briskly from the hall, Sebastian, my mother, step-father and headmaster followed. When I walked outside of the hall doors people were gathered in the court yard. Booklets were in there hands and I couldn't quite see what the cover said.

Annette passed by me and spotted that I was not on stage anymore but standing out where everyone else was wanting to know what was going on and why people had completely ignored me.

"Oh Kathryn, here. I think you'll find it an interesting read"

She passed me a booklet with a simple title. '_Cruel Intentions_' below the title was two words I would soon come to hate for a few years following and probably forever more. Sebastian Valmont.

I opened the cover and turned to the first page. The first page had a picture of me taken a few years back when my hair had been longer. Written around me were all sorts of insults Sebastian frequently used against me to try and hurt me. But I had always thought they were not true.

_Coke problem_. Two words that hurt so much even if they weren't exactly insults. It was true, I did have a coke problem, and one which I always had thought didn't matter to him. He had never complained and never tried to stop me. As I looked to the page next to it I see all these words written about me in his messy boyish writing. Even a picture of the crucifix I wore which I also carried coke in.

I soon came to realise that I was not the only was reading this. Most of Manchester Prep was reading the story and all of my secrets. I could feel my eyes swell when my mother grabbed my shoulder. The headmaster grabbed my crucifix from my wrist and opened it. Displaying the nice, fine white powder I often snorted.

Sebastian stood back from afar in awe at what Annette had just done. The lies I've told and the real truth behind things were coming out and if I wasn't going to be shipped off to some catholic shit hole of a school I was going to suffer in New York for years to come on what I had done to the innocence of Cecile Caldwell.

"Kathryn I think it's time to go"

"No"

I shook my head, I was not going anywhere. I looked to Sebastian for some sort of help but none came. I guess I kind of deserved it after trying to get him killed. But none the less he had come out with just a bump on the head. Where I was going I was sure I would come out with serious mental problems. Either that or I would commit suicide before hand.

I looked all around me; people were shaking their heads in disbelief. I spotted the perky blonde Annette Hargrove and she gave me a wicked smile. The kind I used to give Sebastian when I had bet him at a game. It was her, all her. She did this to me, she's ruining my life.

"Come Kathryn" My mother pulled me from the crowd into the limo.

I broke down. Not only was I going to pay for this later but I now had to sit in a limo with my mother's icy glare burning holes into me for ruining some part of her social life that she had worked so hard at getting.

Lucky for me Edward was also in there. If he hadn't been I was sure I would have been killed or possibly beaten. I kept my eyes down as I cried for this to all be over.

When we got home Edward disappeared into his office to make a phone call to a rehab centre whilst my mother impended her wrath on me. I stood there and took it, all her hurtful words that were so long coming.

"You bulimic whore, do you know what you've done for my social life?"

That's right; even though I was going through some hard times my mother still couldn't have cared less. Unless her social life was perfected and in tact she couldn't care and as I had clearly put some holes in that idea I was in for a lot of insults.

"You're a coke whore with no life Kathryn; I thought you could handle everything. Then you turn to drugs and ruin my life!"

I just take it all in. There is no point in fighting back. What good is it going to do me? I'm never going to talk my way out of this one so what's the point in speaking. I was off to some rehab centre for a year or maybe two and it couldn't be stopped.

"And getting involved with Sebastian of all people! He is your step-brother Kathryn!"

Yes mother, yes mother, yes mother. I know Sebastian is my step-brother. A sweet-bitter forbidden fruit that I had toyed with and came so very close to having. A fruit that I never wanted to taste in fear of it losing all it's taste and sweet-bitter texture.

"Don't you have anything to say young lady?"

"No"

"Pack your bags Kathryn, your going away to rehab for awhile. I can't deal with you"

I walked up to my room, tears slowly rolling down my pale cheeks. No point in crying Kathryn, tears won't get you out of this one my dear. You're too far in to dig yourself out not honey. You tried to have fun by ruining other people's lives. Well sorry sweetheart but it backfired on you now. The only life you truly ruined was your own.

"Packing for a holiday sis"

Great the one person I didn't want to see right now, Sebastian. I bet he had some part in this plan. I could see why I did try to kill him, well not kill him maybe but hurt him. It was the only way I knew to get him back for trading me in for the Virgin Mary.

"You're not very talkative"

Of course I'm not very talkative. My life has just been destroyed because of your little girlfriend who mind you I will get revenge on if I ever see the world again.

"Kathryn seriously where are you going?"

"Where do you think I'm going Sebastian?"

"I don't know, London maybe for a few weeks, until this blows over?"

"If only that was the case, sorry dear brother but you have guessed wrong. I'm on a one way two year trip to rehab"

"What?"

"Thank to your little stunt I'm being sent to rehab"

"My stunt!?"

"Yes, you are the one who set this up aren't you?"

"No, god Kathryn I hate you but I would never want you out of my life. Come to think of it though it was a good plan and I am very surprised at Annette's creative skills"

"Fuck you Sebastian"

God he got on my nerves. He could wet my panties and make me want to kill him all at the same time. I loved and hated him. I despised and wanted him. I could kill him and I could make love to him.

"Maybe I can talk your mother out of it?"

"Don't bother, go play happy families with your blonde virgin girlfriend and leave me the fuck alone"

"I'm just trying to help Kathryn"

"Don't you think you've helped enough!?"

Here we go, the water works. As words of his journal replayed in my head I couldn't help but cry to them. They had stung like hell and forever would haunt me in my nightmares. He was never the type to bluntly hate me; he had called me all sorts of names before but never meant them.

"Kathryn the things in my journal are true, but it doesn't mean I don't care about you"

"Just go Sebastian"

I watch him as he leaves my room. It was probably the last time I would see my handsome blonde haired step-brother until I got out of the god forsaken rehabilitation centre in two years. I was going to pay for all the sins I committed.

* * *

"Welcome to Sunny Oak Rehabilitation centre"

A man dressed in white greeted my mother and I at the door. Sunny Oak Rehabilitation centre seemed like a nice place to get rid of old habits. Little did the outside world know that this place was living proof of hell for those who were admitted. Most people who were sent there were teenagers with drug problems whose parents couldn't be bothered looking after them. I was one of those 'troubled' teens. Maybe if their parents were around and actually gave a flying fuck none of them would have turned to drugs.

"Kathryn Merteuil isn't it?"

"Yes"

"You'll be sharing a room with a girl by the name of Abby Goldsmith"

Great not only was I going to be stuck here for years to come maybe even forever I had to share a room with another person. Even worse a girl, I know it sounds weird that I don't want to share a room with a girl but I don't get along with them. I'm much more used to male company. Girls seem to despise me, they pretend to like me but bitch about me behind my back. Maybe it's because I'm prettier then them or screwed their boyfriend's, but even so girls and I just don't mix.

As we walk up the white halls of the rehabilitation centre I see so many teenagers and even younger kids trapped inside their rooms, or cells if you wish. Most sit on their beds huddled up looking out windows or even staring at the blank walls.

We turn a corner down another long, white corridor I notice a room open. Inside was a boy, maybe my age a little older. Unlike the others he seemed free to do what he wanted. He was not sitting staring out windows or at walls but painting.

"Who's that?" I ask the man who was taking my mother and I to my room.

He stopped; my mother stopped after him and inquisitively looked into the light room. The boy still painted on his canvas, I'm not sure if he noticed or not that we were all staring at him. I don't know about the man or my mother but I was wondering what he was thinking. He seemed so at peace in this hell hole and I want to know why?

"That is Adam Faithem. The poor kid was sent here 3 years ago with an addiction to heroin. None the less he's been clean for 2 and a half years. He's one of our best patients here but his parents don't want anything to do with him anymore"

"He seems so at peace"

"Yes, he is the only patient we have here at Sunny Oak that is allowed to do most anything they please. He's a pleasant boy, one of the sweetest 20 year olds I know in fact"

Adam was 20; the guy didn't look a day over 18. He could have fooled me. If he had been here for 3 years that must mean he was here from the age of 17. Just like I am about to be, I'll be here for the rest of my life if my mother gets her own way.

We walked down the hall a bit, a few down from Adam's and across the hall. The man opened the door and a skinny, pale brunette was seated on one of the beds. I'm guessing she was Abby.

"Abby, this is Kathryn Merteuil your new room mate. Kathryn this is Abby"

Abby smiled at me then returned to the book she was reading. 'The truth behind the lies' one of Sebastian's favourites. I remember him reading it two days after our parents got married. He had payed no attention to me and was so stuck on that book it was like he was going to morph into it if he wasn't careful.

"Your bag is here. A nurse will be around soon to check your bags and clothes for any substances or non-permitted items that you may have tried to sneak in"

"Okay now you're settled in Kathryn I'll see you soon. Have a nice stay"

_Okay now you're settled in Kathryn I'll see you soon._ What did she mean by soon? Like when I die? Because mother I don't intend on dieing just yet, I have revenge to plot and people to ruin. _Have a nice stay._ Have a nice stay in this hell hole? I very much doubt that, having a nice stay would include being allowed to snort my coke. This was not going to be a nice stay.

The man closed the door and my mother and he left down the hall. From what I could tell he had locked it behind him too. Damn it, I was planning on escaping. Sunny Oak was a hidden rehabilitation centre just outside of London. Not many everyday people knew about it. It was a centre for the rich and elite of the world.

"What are you in here for?"

Abby set down her book and sat up right on her bed after asking me the question. I didn't think it was any of her business what I was in here for, but if I was going to have to be trapped in a room with her all day everyday I suppose I would have to play nice.

"Coke addiction, you?"

"My father found my secret stash of heroin and coke"

"How long have you been in for?"

"This is my 5th year. My first year I got caught smoking pot and two weeks ago I was caught with a bag of coke which was not mine. But I still got done for it"

Rehabilitation people were different to the outside world people as I was soon realising. They weren't fake and plastic, they told it how it was and they never lied. This girl, Abby was my type of person. A drug addict and a pretty girl.

"How long are you going to be in here for do you think?" She asked me.

"I don't know. If my mother has her way I'll die in here. Maybe she won't even come to my funeral"

"That's sad"

"Didn't your parents put you in here?"

"Yes, but I was only supposed to be here for a year max. My mother and father were in a car crash the day before my apparent release. Unfortunately for me I was taken under my Aunt Beatrice's wing, she decided that I needed more time in here"

"I see, well my step-brother's virgin girlfriend photocopied his journal that coincidently was mostly about me and had all my secrets and lies in it. She distributed it at the welcome back school assembly and my mother and step-father thought it was best if I get out of New York for awhile to deal with my 'problem'"

The door of our room opened and I immediately turned around. A nurse in a white coat walked in. She was an over weight, old looking lady who's skin hung from her face loosely. She picked up my bag straight away and opened it without permission.

"Excuse me what do you think you're doing!?" I protested.

"Don't try Kathryn, the nurses here check your bags without permission"

The old lady ruffled my clothes and threw them out not caring how expensive they were. Under everything and hidden in a secret pocket was a small bag of coke I had hidden before I came. Damn her, she had found it.

Once she had done searching my bag she searched me. Patting me down she took all non-permitted items from me. Bitch, note to self; get the old lady nurse for doing this to me. It was practically rape. I didn't give permission to be touched in this way.

After all of her searching my items and drugs were taken away. This list included; Cell phone, two bags of coke, hair straightener, hair dryer, nail scissors, nail filer and a pen. This lady was tough; who could think a pen was dangerous?

She left after that and locked the door behind her. It seemed that all nurses and doctors would be doing that from now on. The only person that was not a doctor or nurse that I had seen wandering the halls was Adam. The mysterious guy I had seen in a room painting.

"Is security always this tight?"

"Yep"

"So this is what happens everyday?"

She looked at me as if I were a dumb blonde who had just asked how to spell cat. Of course this was not the case. Abby got up and walked to a wooden desk by a window; she ruffled a few papers then passed me a white timetable sheet with my name written on the top.

"What's this?" I asked her.

"Your timetable"

"Timetable?"

"Your daily planner maybe, it's what you do everyday. Time slots and days are allocated to activities"

I stared at the list of things that were written on my timetable. It was wrong, all wrong for Kathryn Merteuil. I would not stick to some stupid timetable for anyone especially doctors and nurses who thought I was troubled.

"Therapy, gym, group, home. Gym, group, group, therapy. Home, therapy, gym, home. Group, therapy, group, home. Gym, home, home, therapy. Therapy, home, home, home. Home, home, therapy, home"

I read my timetable aloud. It didn't make sense. I did not do therapy. I remember once my mother had made me go with Sebastian to one of his therapy sessions. It was a complete disaster. I think the therapist is now in a mental hospital.

"You're lucky, you don't have therapy twice day everyday"

"You have therapy twice a day everyday!?"

I don't think I could stand sitting in a room with someone whilst they ask how I feel about this and how I feel about that and how does such and such feel, I couldn't do it twice a day everyday. I'd rather blow off my head then have therapy twice a day.

"Not me, Adam. You haven't met him yet but he's been here for a long time, his parents don't wa-"

"I know, that doctor that showed me to my room told me"

"He's nice; he rarely ever talks, only to a few nurses and some other patients here"

"Does he talk to you?"

"Kind of. I don't see him around a lot because I'm not allowed out of my room very often"

"Does he ever get visitors?"

"He only has once, during his first year here. I think it might have be his brother or maybe a cousin"

I was about to ask what this guy looked like when the same doctor that had put me in this room entered. He had a clipboard in his hand and he was now wearing a name tag that said 'Doctor Hamilton'.

"Kathryn, you have a therapy session now. I'll take you there"

Oh super, my first therapy session. I'll be fucked if I'm ever opening up to one of those things. I don't show emotions to anyone, why the hell would I show them to someone I met in a rehab centre!?

I walked out of the room, leaving Abby alone. The doctor led me down a few corridors to a door that said 'Therapy'. We went inside the door which led into a room with several other doors in that room. He pointed to one on the left side of the room that said 'Doctor Alicia Green'.

"There you are, Doctor Green is very nice"

"Thanks"

I politely knocked on the door; I couldn't believe I was doing this. I hated therapy. I hated the fact that Sebastian ever went to therapy let alone me. Oh god, what if she made me keep a stupid queer journal like Sebastian's therapist had him do.

"Kathryn, I assume"

"Yes"

"Please come in, I'm Doctor Green, but please don't be frightened to call me by my real name Alicia"

"Okay"

I took a seat on the couch in front of her. She sat up poised; she was quite a lovely looking lady for someone who worked in a rehab centre. She had black shoulder length hair and blue eyes like Sebastian's.

"If I am correct you're in here for a coke addiction right?"

"Yes"

"Okay let's start from the start. What do you think led to you starting to snort coke? Family problems maybe?"

Of course it was fucking family problems. My mother and father divorced I was forced to move with her to New York where she re-married to Edward. My family was fucked, between being pressured to be the perfect child and keeping everyone else happy _that _is why I turned to coke.

"Family problems"

"Would you like to elaborate on that? You don't have to, I understand if you don't. It's hard opening up to a complete stranger but trust me. Nothing that is said in this room today or any day we see each other leaves this room or me"

"Not really"

"Okay let's go on another subject. What about your father?"

"What about him"

"I understand you haven't seen him since you were 5?"

"Yes"

"How do you think this affects your life?"

"It doesn't"

"Why don't you think it does?"

"I don't know"

It doesn't because he was a cheating, lying bastard who beat my mother and I until we were bleeding and left for dead. That is why it doesn't matter that I don't see him. As far as I'm concerned he could be dead and I wouldn't care.

"Let's touch on your family. What about the ones you live with. Your step-father Edward, your mother and your step-brother Sebastian"

Hearing her say his name was pain. I wanted to see him and just stare into his eyes for as long as he would let me, but then I wanted to kill him for letting his girlfriend do this to me and even for writing that queer journal about me.

"Kathryn?"

I tried to avoid her eyes; I knew the way these therapists worked. They asked you questions and then kept looking at you so you'll blurt out answers so they'll stop staring at you, but she wasn't going to intimidate me. After all I am Kathryn Merteuil.

"Tell me about your step-father, what did and didn't you like about him? Was he mean? Was he too nice? Was he the cause of your drug problem?"

No he wasn't, Edward was nice, sure he was a pervert who like to check me out when my mother wasn't looking but I didn't really have anything against him. He gave me the money I needed and never got in my way. He was never home so I guess no he wasn't the cause of my drug problem.

"No"

"Tell me Kathryn what is Edward like?"

"He's…nice…I guess"

"You guess?"

"He can be a bit too nice but never does anything"

Oh god, I had just opened up. Stop it Kathryn, stop being vulnerable. You are not like this, you are strong and poised and elegant. You don't need therapy and you are not going to tell this lady as nice as she is all your problems and worries.

"What do you mean by too nice? Does he touch you in places you don't want to be touched?"

I looked up at the clock. It wasn't long to go until this would be over; if I could keep lingering around this question I wouldn't have to answer much more.

"No"

She made a note on the pad of paper she had in her lap, and then looked to her watch. She smiled back at me and looked down into my eyes, there he was. I could see Sebastian in her eyes. My beautiful blonde haired love who had destroyed my life.

"Time's up, but tomorrow we'll touch deeper on your family okay Kathryn. Have a nice night"

I'll have a nice night alright, sleeping in a single white bed with no Sebastian to go running too.

* * *

**A/N: Was it good? I'm not sure how it went because it was a first time writing from Kathryn's perspective. Taking note that I am sick and am writing this with a very bad headache I think it was okay for a first try. I will try and update as soon as possible but this is just a side project and my other fan fics are most important.**

**Kathryn is a hard character to play, but I hope it did well and I hope you liked it. Please review on what you thought about my first chapter. I might even update more if people think it's good.**


	2. Deux

_I'm learning to fall,_

_I can't hardly breathe,_

_When I'm going down don't worry about me,_

_Don't try this at home,_

_You said you don't see,_

_I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me._

Learning to fall – Boys Like Girls

* * *

In being in this place for just over two weeks you start to notice things and learn things about people. I am one to take notice and watch how people work, what makes them tick and what will eventually bring them down. I am the one who you should watch out for on your nightly walks because I'll pounce on you out of no where.

Things I've noticed over the past two weeks are such; Abby is a lesbian, Adam doesn't talk very much and the food is shit. But then again I think all food is shit. It has also come to my attention that there is a very hot male nurse in here. I'm pretty sure his name is Nurse Made.

As I was sitting in the dining area of the rehab centre I saw nurse Made. He was extremely good looking, he had short brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes a bit like Sebastian's but a shade or two darker. A much better build then him too.

I stuck my foot out just as he was walking past and without fail he trip and falls down to the ground. I immediately get up looking worried and go down to the ground and help him up.

"I am so sorry"

"It's okay…" He looked to my name bracelet and then a smirk hit his handsome face. "Kathryn Merteuil"

"That's me and you are?"

"Nurse Made"

"Have a first name?"

"I do, but not for patients"

I rolled my eyes at him, not for patients? Hello, I was not just any patient, I was the Kathryn Merteuil. The beautifully, gorgeous Kathryn. Okay so I admit right now I am not looking my best, but I still look pretty how can he resist me?

"Oh c'mon, please"

He gave in just like I had suspected. "Okay, it's Carson"

"Carson, well Carson how about me and you have a little fun?"

Carson bit his lip then looked around, the dining area was almost empty and he was the only nurse in this wing for the night. How hard could it be to slip away?

"Sure, meet me in room 226"

"Okay"

I watched him turn and walk away; I would soon follow after but first had to check my appearance. I know he had already said yes, but I wanted to look better then I did right now. I know it would be hard without some items that had been taken off me but hell I was going to try.

After fixing myself up I made my way down the corridor to 226, it wasn't long before I found it as it was only down the corridor from me and right next to Adam's room. Number 226 was an empty, old patient's room who had just checked out. Lucky for them, I was going to screw this guy's brains out.

"Carson?"

"Hey babe"

He pulled me in close and started kissing me passionately. For a handsome guy he was not much of a kisser, he pretty much licked my whole face before actually sticking his tongue in my mouth. It was fucking horrible, but I was hoping he was going to be a better fuck then he was a kisser, if not I was in for a very painful and horrible time.

"Jesus Christ Carson slow down!"

"Sorry"

I pushed him back on to the bed and wiped my mouth, he tasted like a mix between medicine and alcohol, leaving a nasty taste in my mouth after we had stopped kissing. He didn't taste, or smell like Sebastian but he would do.

"Take off your clothes"

"Excuse me?" I asked him.

"Take off your clothes"

Stupid moron, I don't think he knew quite exactly who I was and how things worked with me. I was never ordered around by any male and I would not stand to be ordered by this guy. He was cute but he was not going to be in control.

"Sorry honey, I don't think you understand how things are with me"

"How are they then?"

"I order you around, you don't tell me what to do, I tell you what to do, I'm in control and anything I say goes"

"I don't take orders from women"

"We'll just see about that"

I got on my knees and pushed his torso back on the bed as I un-did his pants, once they were down I proceeded to take off his boxers and pull out his hardening dick. It wasn't much for size but was better then nothing I suppose.

"Oh that's it" He said as I flicked my tongue over his erection.

"You like that?" I asked him, smirking at him.

"Fuck yes"

"Want me to go down deeper?"

"Yes"

"Okay"

I put his whole dick in my mouth and sucked on him for awhile whilst listening to his soft moans. He held my hair back and pushed lightly on my head as I bobbled up and down on his erection. It wasn't a challenge to suck him so I did it with ease. After doing that for a minute or so I stopped and got up.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I think it's your turn to please me, don't you think?"

"No I don't think"

"Excuse me?"

"Suck me bitch"

"Screw you"

Carson got up and grabbed me by the hips thrusting his hard on into my pelvis. I admit it was a nice feeling…at first. When things got more intense he started to take off my clothes.

"Don't"

"What?" He asked still groping me.

"Don't, I don't want to fuck"

"That's what I got the impression you wanted when you confronted me"

"Well you were wrong"

I broke free from his tight grip and pushed him away pulling up my panties that he had pulled down in an attempt to fuck me.

"I don't think so sweetheart, I'm going to fuck you whether you like it or not"

Without warning he leered at me and pushed me back on to the bed. I tried to get up but he hit me and I fell back onto the bed, my head hitting hard against the bed head. He pulled his belt from his hands and tied my hands to the bed head with it.

"I'll scream if you don't let me go!"

"Scream and I will really hurt you"

I wasn't afraid of him, if I screamed someone would come running and find me so I screamed. At first he didn't care and kept pulling my clothes off but when I didn't stop he hit me again. That time it really hurt, I could feel my nose bleeding as I started to cry.

"Shut up whore"

"Fuck you!" I cried out.

He held my mouth as he penetrated me hard. Usually this would be an act I love, but tonight was not usual. He held my mouth shut tight and I tried to scream but he muffled it with his hands. Carson's other hand was held at my hip and he was really hurting me, I could tell I was going to bruise.

"Stop crying"

I shook my head at him and continued to sob as he fucked me. Right now I probably looked pathetic and maybe it was because I had been coke free for two and a bit weeks. This was not usually me; I would jump at anyone who wanted to screw.

When I didn't stop crying he punched me again, I was almost knocked out by the hard hit. He hit me several times before stopping and concentrating on fucking me. The bed squeaked and hit hard against the brick walls as he continued.

After I had lost all hope someone opened the door and let in light, I couldn't make out the person in my blurry vision but he was soon accompanied by two other large men who immediately came in. I couldn't make out either of their faces nor the person who had found me as they all stepped closer

"It's going to be alright Kathryn"

Someone spoke to me but my eyes were shut in pain, the voice was of someone I didn't know, someone I hadn't heard speak much, someone I couldn't recognise by voice. I felt his warm hand un-do the belt and then cover me with my clothes and pick me up. After that I must have fallen unconscious.

"Kathryn's currently unconscious but you can go in and see her"

I heard the doctor speak to someone just out side my room in the hospital ward of the rehab centre. My eyes were still closed, my head hurt and I could now feel the bruises that I had thought were going to be there when Carson had raped me.

"Kathryn? Kathryn wake up!"

I knew who it was when they spoke, the cold heartless tone. The voice was basically famous in my world, the iciness of it and the way it was feared my many people. Not me, I did not fear her, I did not run away with a tail between my legs.

"Mother"

I slowly opened my eyes to her, looking up at her new face which made her wrinkles look more like stretch marks. Her hair was done up in a loose bun and she was all made up. If I wasn't mistaken I would have had to say that she had been pulled from a party to see me.

"Oh your alive, thanks a lot, I was pulled from a party to see you Kathryn!"

"Thanks so much for caring mother"

I winced in pain as I tried to sit up, something hurt, something wasn't right. I tried to sit up again, but quicker so the pain would ease quicker. Seems this was not a good idea. As I sat up something broke inside me and snapped I felt it snap, it was the most horrible pain I had ever felt.

"FUCK!"

My voice screeched through the room and probably down the corridors of the wing, my mother rolled her eyes at me thinking I was over exaggerating. A doctor quickly rushed in and pulled back the covers. A bright purple bruising appeared at the lower part of my ribs, I was pretty sure that was not there when I had been brought here.

"Jesus fucking Christ Kathryn"

I looked down at the purple bruising and started to feel woozy; I gulped and blinked a few times before collapsing back onto my bed in another unconscious state.

When I awoke later on that night I was in a great amount of pain, no one was around. I felt alone and cold, my room was dark and I was guessing my mother had gone. Should have known she wouldn't stay.

Just as I was about to go back to sleep Abby and Adam entered the room.

"Kathryn are you awake?"

"Yeah"

"Thank god you're alright!" Abby exclaimed.

I was surprised to see Adam, I had only spoken to him once and I was really rude to him. I hadn't noticed it was him and told him to fuck off when he had gotten in my way at the line for dinner. Of course I wouldn't have spoken to him like that if he hadn't had, had his back turned to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Adam, looking straight at him.

I realised I had sounded rude and like I hadn't wanted him there and shook my head at myself. I was such an idiot sometimes, nothing I was too proud to admit to anyone.

"Kathryn you really shouldn't speak to him like that, he saved you"

"He what?"

"He saved you from Carson"

I looked embarrassed; I glanced back to him and smiled a light smile before returning my gaze back to my hands which were fiddling with my bed sheets.

"We should go Abby, she needs to rest"

I was going to protest and tell them to stay but one of the doctors came in and told them to leave and go back to their rooms.

As I fell back into my sleep for the night Sebastian was not the last thing on my mind, Adam was. For the first time since I had been there someone else occupied my thoughts that night and I was thankful for it.

* * *

I woke early the next morning to footsteps in the corridor. I heard muffled voices and painfully rolled over onto my side. It hurt to move but I was restless. Before I could go back to sleep my door was opened and I heard a few footsteps and then the doctor spoke.

"Kathryn you have two visitors"

Thinking it was Adam and Abby again I rolled back over and sat up quickly, too quickly for my state. My snapped rib rubbed in pain as I sat up. I looked up and was disappointed and extremely angry when I saw who it was.

"What the fuck are you two doing here?"

"Good morning Katie"

"Don't call me Katie Sebastian"

I glared at him intently; he was the blame for this, he and his virgin girlfriend Annette who was standing beside him looking pleased at herself and in sorrow for me. She shouldn't this pain I was feeling was self inflicted in a way.

"And what are you doing here Annette?"

"I came to see how you were. When Sebastian alerted me of what happened I felt I should come and see how you were doing in here"

"Maybe you should just fuck off"

"Kathryn don't speak to her like that please"

"When do you ever say please? Oh sorry has the country bumpkin taught you something new? Maybe she's even taught you to pray at night"

"Shut up Kathryn"

Annette looked hurt at what I was saying; I had no intentions of stopping either. If I was going to be mean and this was going to be my last chance at being a bitch to both of them in a while I was going to do whole heartedly.

"Has Annette got you going to church too? Taking school tours for her daddy dearest around Manchester maybe?"

"I swear Kathryn if you don't shut up"

"What Sebastian? You'll ruin me? Sorry dear brother but that has already been done. Your virgin girlfriend took that away for you. Just like you took her virginity away. Remember that sweet Annette? The night he deflowered you from all your beliefs, he came running back to me soon after to screw me, I bet he didn't tell you that. I was going to screw him too, if it wasn't for the fact that he's such a loser. Go ahead and have him Annette, he's worthless anyway, he'll cheat on you soon, you won't meet his standards. He needs someone in control, someone to tame him, you can't do that, you can't tame him like I can. Oh dear, sweet Annette I hope you enjoy your time with Sebastian, watch him carefully"

"SHUT UP KATHRYN!"

I laughed at the two, how pathetic it was to see Sebastian in such an emotion. His girlfriend was fighting back tears but couldn't anymore when I started to laugh at them. It was funny to watch.

"And you Sebastian, oh what a fucking loser you've turned out to be. Blaine would be ashamed of you if he wasn't such a good friend. No actually he is ashamed, ashamed of what you've turned out to be, your dating the queen of purity. Go ahead Sebastian ruin your reputation and everything you've ever stood for. Don't forget you're going down when I get out, you and little Miss Sunshine are going to pay"

"You're such a fucking bitch Kathryn!"

Annette slapped me and I felt the full sting of the slap, I didn't stand back though, I was going all out whether it hurt him or not. He had hurt me and until I could get out of here he was going to verbally pay, him and her.

"You should go confess your sins Annette; you've just said two naughty words, three if you include my name"

Again Annette went for me; she climbed on top of my bed and got on top of me pounding my chest and stomach. I couldn't fight back; the pain was overwhelming as she pounded the exact spot in which my rib had snapped. I gasped at first and my eyes rolled back in immense pain, if this was what dieing were like I would never go through with it.

When the raging blonde realised what she was doing and how much pain I was in she gasped. She jumped off of me and back into Sebastian's arms. It was too late for me, I threw up, but it wasn't normal it hurt and it was blood.

"Sebastian!" Annette gasped.

Adam and Abby had just come around the corner and were laughing and smiling until they came inside the room and saw me purging. Adam raced out for a doctor and he soon returned with not one but two. Everyone was rushed out as the doctors fixed me up.

I layed back in my bed as the doctors let all four visitors in at once, I wasn't really in the mood for visitors but I couldn't muster up strength for words or actions so I let them in, all four of them in.

"Kathryn I am so sorry" Annette said pleading at me with her blue eyes.

"Annette honey, just stay back she might strike at you"

Damn right I would Sebastian, if I only had the strength, she wouldn't be alive and when I get the strength and if I ever see the bitch again she was going to know what pain was she would suffer as much as I was, I would not step back.

"Maybe you two should go" Adam told Sebastian and Annette.

"Excuse me?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm just saying, you've caused Kathryn enough pain and I think she just wants to see her friends right now"

"Friends? You call yourselves friends? Kathryn has no friends"

If I hadn't been in my current state I would have pounded Sebastian.

"I do believe what Kathryn has said about you hasn't been rather nice either Sebastian" Abby added.

"And who the fuck are you may I ask?"

"Kathryn's room mate"

"You really think what she would tell you is true, you are only a room mate"

I listened to the bickers of my friends and enemies. It was quite amusing and touching to have them all fight over me like I was royalty or something.

"I'm not just her room mate"

"Okay then, what else are you?"

I wondered what she would say, the friend thing wouldn't work with Sebastian, he thinks I can't make friends. These people were my friends no matter what he said, but nothing would change his mind.

"Her girlfriend" She blurted out.

That one caught me by surprise, I knew she was a lesbian, but I am far from it. It was thoughtful but I knew Sebastian wouldn't believe it, neither did Annette. Adam played along like he knew but he was also surprised at what Abby had said, I could tell.

"Oh very funny, sorry sweet heart, Kathryn's a one sided team. She bats for the male side only. She's a dick sucking whore, not a pussy eating lesbian"

I couldn't stand him talk to my friends like that, they were my friends, my real ones, not my mother's socialite daughters that I occasionally adopted. But people who cared about me, I would not stand for Sebastian to talk to Abby like that. So I musted up strength and spoke to him.

"She's telling the truth Sebastian, I am a lesbian"

Annette gasped and it took all I had not to laugh at her, it was a lie but a damn good one that Sebastian was beginning to believe.

"Oh c'mon Kathryn, you are not"

"How come I was raped then? The Kathryn you thought you knew would have jumped at any guy, yet I was raped"

It was a lie. I wouldn't jump at _any_ guy. The reason I had knocked back Carson was because I wasn't in the mood. I had wanted to play, but not screw and he had beaten and raped me because he wanted to screw and I didn't.

For once in Sebastian's life he was speechless. He didn't have a smartass comeback or anything like that. I guess there really was nothing to say when you find out someone you've loved for so long has all along been a closet lezzo, or so he thinks anyway.

Sebastian looked at me, hurt, pain and anger rolled into one was the look he was giving me. It hurt me to see him like that but then I thought about how he was the reason I was in rehab and I was all of a sudden proud of myself. His Christian girlfriend and him walked out of the room, leaving Adam, Abby and I alone.

"Oh my god Kathryn, I never knew you were…" Abby started.

"I'm not, I just didn't want Sebastian to break you down, he's good at it if you give him the right ammo and you walked into his trap"

Abby looked away and I could have sworn she looked hurt at me, but why would she? She smiled back at me and nodded. Adam took my hand thoughtfully and gave Abby a look to ask her to leave; she did just that, rushing out of my room and down the corridor.

"Adam…"

"Shh"

"Excuse me?"

"Kathryn just be quiet for a minute so I can talk"

"Okay"

Adam over powered me in speech, I stopped and just looked into his adoring eyes. This was the guy who had saved me from being beaten to death and really I owe him my life if not more.

"I really like you Kathryn; you're beautiful, elegant, graceful and delicate. Every time I see you I want to kiss you and make you my girl"

"Adam thank you"

"For what?"

"For both the compliments and saving me today"

"You're welcome Kathryn"

"I will be your girl, any time you want me to be"

"What about forever?"

"Deal"

Adam kissed my forehead and swished a piece of my hair from my face. I liked Adam, probably not as much as he said he liked me but he was handsome and would probably be a good fuck.

I watched him as he stepped outside of my room and down the corridor towards the drug wing of rehab. I moved down into my bed, wincing quietly to my self.

Pain had become my friend today, pain had let me listen. I had always known that my mother never really loved me, but somewhere deep inside me I always left a space for her, hoping that it was just an act, an act for all her socialite friends and the other people who had always surrounded us.

Not tonight, we had been all alone and even when I had been in so much pain that it hurt to live and I just wanted to die she left me, left me to suffer alone. Now I know that she really doesn't care, all she cares about is herself and her social ladder life.

Today I had felt pain from different places, emotional pain and physical pain. I had been put back in my place when I had been raped and I was suffering both emotionally and physically for that. I guess it was my own fault and it probably should have happened a lot earlier.

Now I was sitting in a hospital bed in a rehab centre with a snapped rib and a bruised face. My life had turned me into a tease, a coke whore and someone who I didn't want to be, my mother.

Well not from now, I will change myself, I'm not going to be a cold heartless bitch anymore, not going to be a flirt and try to screw every good looking guy possibly. Look where that had gotten me? Did I really want to be here again in another few years? I don't think so.

On the plus side I now have a gorgeous boyfriend who I respect and like. Adam was going to get me through this and I was going to help him, he's going to help me change and get out of this hell hole.

* * *

**A/N: I've changed Kathryn, for now anyway. I'm not going to reveal too much but Kathryn will not be changed for too long. She'll go back; she'll just need something major to turn her back.**

**Anyway, whilst I'm here I just want to let everyone know that I'm looking for an editor for my stories before I put them up, just so they are better to read, if you go to my profile page on here you'll find details, please don't apply until you've read the details on my page.**

**I think right now is where you stop.review.thanks.**


	3. Trois

_Promise me, promise me,_

_Promise me, you will not ever leave,_

_Promise me you will not ever leave._

Recovery – Funeral For A Friend

* * *

**Two years later.**

Looking back on my two years in rehab, I suppose you could say it's done me good. I do not have the need for coke, or purging my food anymore, even destroying people's lives doesn't really interest me anymore. The therapists, doctors and nurses have been very good through out my whole experience here. But Abby and Adam have been most helpful.

Adam and I are still together, he has helped me through this and he, Abby and I are all getting out of here today.

I walk up the corridor to the main office my hand in Adam's. Abby walked beside me smiling at how she was getting out finally.

"It was lovely having you here Ms Merteuil"

"Thank you"

Adam, Abby and I kept walking outside of the rehab centre; a limousine was waiting for us to take us to the Valmont jet which we would all travel in to get to New York. I couldn't believe I was finally getting to go home after two years. I had changed and I wouldn't be going back to my slutty, coke whore days anytime soon.

Adam had taught me to control my anger and my feelings. I didn't need sex or coke for my sadness. I now had Adam to help me through that and he said he'd be there for me.

When we arrived at the airport we were escorted to the airplane. Oh the famous Valmont Jet. Many times I had travelled in the luxury of it, it was comfortable and very spacious and I loved it. It was probably one of my favourite places to be.

I sat back in the seat and Adam sat beside me, Abby walked to the other side of the plane and sat in a seat by the window, both were amazed at the size and looks of the inside of the plane.

"Wow Kathryn this is huge!" Abby exclaimed.

"Is this yours?" Adam asked.

"Well not technically, it's my step-father's but he lets my mother and I use it whenever we wanted to"

My mother, someone I was definitely not looking forward to seeing. She had visited once during my whole time in rehab; the time I was raped, even then she had stayed 5 minutes to see me. No doubt she would scold me for the rest of my life.

* * *

The plane landed and we were escorted off the plan and into the limo that was waiting for us. The limo driver opened the door and I smiled and nodded at him, bending down to get into my limo. I was shocked at who I found in the limo awaiting my arrival.

"Mother!?"

"Hello Kathryn"

I looked at her in disappointment then noticed the other four occupants of the limo, Edward, Sebastian and sweet Annette. I rolled my eyes back into my head and got in, taking a seat in between Edward and my mother.

"Close the door Kathryn"

"My friends are still getting in"

When my mother heard that her eyes widened and in stepped Abby, Sebastian was shocked when Abby had entered the limo, her beauty amazing all occupants of the limo, especially Edward. Remembering that I had told Sebastian I was a lesbian and Abby was my girlfriend I quickly shoved over and let her sit beside me, taking her hand in mine. Adam then entered the limousine; he too was going along with the plan. He sat next to Sebastian, Annette eying my boyfriend.

"Mother this is Adam and Abby, they're my friends"

"It's nice to meet you Adam and Abby"

"Oh Abby is not _just_ Kathryn's friend Tiffany" Sebastian cut in, I glared at him, warning him not to say anything but he continued.

"Abby is Kathryn's girlfriend, your dear Kathryn is a pussy eating queen"

"Sebastian! I think you should have enough respect not to talk about Kathryn like that" Edward scolded Sebastian; Edward was interested in this conversation though.

"WHAT!?"

It was only then I realised that my mother and Edward were dressed up and it then came to me that they were not going to be around for much longer that night, so I went all out to make me the worst daughter ever.

"Sorry to have to tell you like this _mom_, but yes, my brother is right. I love girls, I love eating them out and making them scream. Have you ever wondered what I did in my room with my girl friends? Well hear it is, we fucked. Abby is the love of my life mother"

"Kathryn! I will not have you turn into some lesbian!"

Abby seemed offended as she really was a lesbian, she turned her head down and was upset. I grasped her hand tighter, not scared by my mother's words.

"Too late"

Annette shook her head at me. The bitch was shaking her head at me! My mother clenched her fists but then the limousine stopped. The driver came around and opened the door and my mother got out, thank god for that. Edward followed. But before they were gone my mother looked in and stared at me intently in the eye.

"We'll talk about this later Kathryn"

The driver then shut the door and I was left with Abby, Adam, Sebastian and Annette.

"Nice to see you back sis"

"Screw you"

"Sorry Kat but you're a lesbian remember?"

I laughed to myself and I saw Adam smile a bit. Oh dear brother if you only knew what I was playing at. Adam knew very well that I was not a lesbian, if only Sebastian knew was I was doing with Adam every night. Unfortunately whilst we stay at the Valmont house Adam and I will not be able to fool around, but we'd find time.

"Would fuck you anyway Sebastian, maybe Annette…Actually no I don't think so"

Annette rolled her eyes at me and I made a face at her. Already she was getting on my nerves. God help me if she lives at the Valmont town house now because she'll be dead by the end of the night if she lives there.

Abby leaned in close to my ear and whispered things into my ear; I smiled and placed my hand on her thigh. Adam had given me permission to do what ever I had wanted with Abby if it was to get at Sebastian.

After she moved away I placed my other hand on the back of her neck and she grabbed my by the waist. I moved in closer and we started to make-out. As my eyes were closed I could not see what Sebastian's reactions were yet but I was sure they would be something funny.

We kept making out and I moved my hand up her skirt slowly, until I was right at her pussy, outside her underwear of course…for now anyway. I rubbed her slowly and she stopped kissing me and moaned. I opened my eyes and looked to my right out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough Sebastian's jaw was dropped and he was staring at us both.

I pulled her panties aside and slipped a finger in, Abby let out a pleasurable cry and I swear I saw Sebastian's pants grow just a little. I moved it around until Abby began to pant and moan louder.

"Fucking gross" Annette commented, making a sour face.

I continued to finger her as she groped at me. Annette did not like this at all and pushed me back from Abby in disgust.

"Do you not have any respect for others in this limousine!?"

"Adam yes, you two, no"

"You're such a bitch Kathryn"

"Oh go fuck yourself Mary"

It was then Sebastian piped up. "Leave her alone Kathryn"

"Playing hero are we?"

The limousine stopped and before he could reply Annette rushed out and stormed up the steps of the Valmont townhouse. Sebastian followed after and once they were out of sight all three of us laughed in hysterics.

"Fucking gullible"

Abby didn't say anything, but got out of the limo and waited for Adam and me.

* * *

"I love you too Annette, drive safe"

I watched outside Sebastian's bedroom balcony as Sebastian watched Annette drive off in her car. He rubbed his forehead and started to make his way up, but looked up and spotted me. He shook his head and hurried to his room. Abby and Adam were in their separate rooms un-packing.

"What are you doing in my room Kathryn" Sebastian said, closing the door behind him, after he entered.

"Just bringing back old memories dear brother"

He lit up a cigarette and placed a new looking leather bound journal on his desk. This was much like the other but the leather was newer and the gold plate seemed shinier.

"New queer book?"

"Yes, Annette gave it to me"

I picked it up and opened it to the first page; Sebastian did not rush to keep me from it, but stood back and watched me as I read through the first page.

_Annette Hargrove;_

_The love of my life maybe, sweet, innocent and pure of heart. She's beautiful and knows how to formulate a good plan. She's even better in bed then I would have expected. _

A picture of Annette was glued to the page with hearts surrounding it and the same words he had used for my picture underneath hers.

"Don't be jealous Kat"

I admit I was just a little jealous, how could he have used those words to describe her? Could she really be pure of heart if she had brought me down and destroyed my world? I don't think so; he had even stated she was the love of his life maybe.

"Relax Kathryn, it's not the real page, I knew if I put this down you'd read it so I faked it. Annette only gave it to me tonight. I quickly wrote that down before she left"

"Did I look like I cared?"

"Honestly, yes"

He put out his cigarette and puffed out the last of the smoke he had inhaled out. He stepped towards me; I could feel the heat from his body right now. Sebastian looked down at me and closed his eyes for a few moments before looking back at me.

"Memories you say?" He asked.

"Yes"

"Like this one?"

With a quick few movements he had managed to pull me up on the desk so I was sitting and he was placed in between me hard. His body pressed against mine.

"_I don't think so Sebastian"_

_Sebastian lifted me up and placed me on the desk, he grabbed my waist and thrusted myself towards him. I could feel his erection; it was making me want him more._

"_What about now baby?"_

_I objected him; I was not going to screw him. He pushed a finger inside me carefully and a moan escaped my mouth, one I had not wanted to let out._

"_Now?"_

_The second week into my mother and his father's marriage and I already wanted to fuck him. _

"What about now baby?"

He lingered his lips above my neck so close I could feel his breath hit my neck; it was warm and made my body tingle with delight. He rubbed my sides and thrusted my body at him.

"Sebastian" The same moan I had let escape all those years ago escaped me again. But it was not from him fingering me, because he was not doing that right now, it was just the feeling of him being so close to me.

"That's it" He said, running a hand up my thigh.

I breathed in his sweet scent then snapped back to myself, I pushed him back with my foot and hopped off desk.

"Abby is the only one that goes there"

I pushed passed him and into my own room gulping and still breathless from my encounter with him. How was it so that he got me all wet just by standing close to me and breathing on me?

I layed back on my bed and closed my eyes for seconds before someone came into my room. Unexpectedly it was Abby; she came close to me and sat beside me.

"What are you doing here?"

"We have to make this believable"

"We are, aren't we?" I asked.

"No"

"Then what do we do?"

She smiled and pushed me back, getting on her knees in front of me. Abby pulled off my panties and licked her lips.

"Wet already baby?"

I acted as though it was because of her, but I knew it wasn't. I knew it was Sebastian who had made me so wet and tingly and horny inside.

She licked at me and fingered me roughly; I let out loud moans and screams. Sebastian entered my room surprised at what was going on.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked.

"Yes….you…oh god….fuck…are!" I yelled back.

He got closer and picked up Abby with one swift movement. He threw her back and got on his knees, before I could say anything or stop him he was lapping me up and it was better then what Abby had been doing.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I screamed.

"Like that Kathryn? Just like old times"

I noticed I was not acting like a lesbian and had to pull away, even though I was very much enjoying it. He stood up and so did I.

"What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing my hip and pulled me close.

"Get off me"

Abby came over and pulled me towards her and I pushed her back on the bed. I took off her clothes as Sebastian watched and I started to play with her pussy.

"Do you like that Sebastian? Do you like how I fuck girls?"

Sebastian sat back in amazement licking his lips, I know he wanted to rip off the rest of my clothes and pin me against a wall and fuck me stupid right now.

"Can I join?"

I said yes before I could even think about it and before Abby could realise Sebastian's clothes were off and he had stood me up, I was still licking at Abby and her eyes had closed. Sebastian grabbed my hips as I bent over and got ready to fuck me. Abby then opened her eyes.

"KATHRYN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

I thought about what I had said and then jumped back before Sebastian could get inside me.

"Oh baby don't be shy now" He said.

"I'm not shy Sebastian, just not in to you"

"You don't have to be, I'm going to be in to you"

He smirked and pulled me into him, kissing my breasts and moving his hands down to my pussy. I stopped him before he could and moved back to Abby. I got to my draw and pulled out a dildo smirking at my step-brother and looking at Abby.

"Ready Abby?"

"When you are babe"

I shoved the dildo in her and Sebastian watched me as I did. Abby couldn't control her loud moans and she was basically screaming my name out every second.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, footsteps clicking on the marble floor outside my bedroom door. Before I had a chance to roll over and go back to sleep my mother opened the door and came in. Her reaction when she came in was nothing I'd like to hear this early in the morning though.

"KATHRYN MERTEUIL!"

I sat up immediately, wondering what the fuck she thought she was doing screaming my name out like that, this early in the morning. I was ready to scream back at her when someone stirred next to me. Oh now I knew why exactly she was yelling at me. Not only was I naked in my bed, but so was Abby.

"God mother, I already told you I was a lesbian. You should have known this was going to happen"

Abby rubbed her eyes so adorably, I cuddled up to her and she pushed my brown hair away from my face, kissing down my neck playfully. My mother was utterly disgusted and slammed my door after she had left my room.

"Kathryn…I need to-" Abby started before Sebastian entered my room.

"Good morning ladies, or should I say amazingly beautiful, naked ladies"

"Shut up Sebastian"

I got up, not bothering to cover my self; both Sebastian and Abby had seen me naked so I didn't really see the point in it anymore.

"Abby, maybe you should go back to your room and shower"

Abby nodded, she knew I wanted to speak to Sebastian. She chucked on her clothes from last night and walked back to her room. I was left with Sebastian, still naked. I wandered into my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror.

Sebastian followed me in; he stared into my reflection and then ran my bath. As much as I hated the boy for destroying all I had he did know what I liked and he certainly knew how to run a hot bath for me. I stepped over once it was filled and got into it.

He got onto his knees and lightly scrubbed my back and neck. I missed this; I missed getting along with him. I rested my head back on the edge of the bath and closed my eyes, Sebastian dip the cloth in the water and gently rubbed my chest.

I opened my eyes and looked at his stunning blue eyes, my eyes looked pleadingly at him, I was wondering whether he could read what I wanted or not. I wanted to go back in time and never make that bet about Cecile or Annette, I know it isn't possible what that's what I wanted.

Sebastian looked down at me and he tilted his head to the side just a little bit, I searched inside him for emotion or some kind of sign that he wanted what I did. None came, but then he leaned in quick and kissed me passionately. As usual I went along with it until it came to me that I was cheating on Adam. I pulled back as quickly as I could.

"I..."

Sebastian ran out before I had time to say something, I hadn't meant to scare him off or make him leave like that.

When I got out of the bath and opened my door after getting dressed I could see into Sebastian's. He was making out with Annette, he didn't see me and I hadn't planned on walking out whilst they were kissing, so I quickly made my way up the hall to Adam's room.

I needed to see him, needed him to tell me that I was not a whore and that he loved me. I opened his door quickly and found him reading on his bed, he smiled at me when he saw me. I smiled back and kissed him as soon as I reached him. I pushed him on his back and began stripping him, he didn't object, but slowed things down.

"I love you Kathryn"

There it was, it was what I was waiting for, what I wanted to hear. I let the words sink in and then answered him saying I love you back to him. I kept kissing him until he stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up.

"Nothing…"

"Then why did you stop?"

He looked down to his watch then back up at me, caressing my face. "I have to go meet someone, I'll be back soon and we'll continue this. I love you" He kissed my forehead and put on his clothes, leaving me in his room.

I sat there for a few moments, and then made my way out of his bedroom, I was going to stop by Abby's room but then I had remembered that she was catching up with some friends from here. I glumly made my way back to my room but was stopped when I ran into someone.

Looking up from my feet my eyes were met with those of Sebastian's. He bit his lip and I turned to walk away from him. He grabbed my arm and made me face him.

"I'm sorry about this morning"

"Don't worry about it"

"No, Kathryn, I really am sorry, I know you're with Abby"

Of course I knew I wasn't with Abby, but Adam instead. I couldn't tell him and I wanted to yell and scream at him. Why did he have to ruin my perfect relationship? I was being the perfect girlfriend until I came back here. It's like New York puts a curse on me.

"I said don't worry about it"

"It's the first time I've cheated on Annette you know"

"That's nice Sebastian, I don't care"

As I turned to walk away he grabbed my arm again and made me face him once again. He pulled me into his room and closed the door.

"Why am I here? Adam and Abby aren't here you know"

"I wanted to show you what I wrote last night in my journal"

"Your new one?"

"No, my old one, the day I visited you in the hospital at rehab"

He handed me his old leather journal and flicked to the last page he had written in. I didn't look at it, afraid of what might be written.

"Read it"

He walked over to his desk and sat down, lighting a cigarette and waiting. I sat on his bed and sighed before starting to read his messy handwriting.

_Kathryn Merteuil – her name should be the definition of so many words, bitch, whore and slut just to name a few. But if I was to give her one word; or rather phrase I would call her a cold hearted bitch. Her words sting and her looks kill. _

_Today I visited her in rehab; Annette had wanted to come so I suppose I had to let her. I was pretty stunned at the sight of Kathryn when I had seen her. She was dull, broken and lifeless. Her usual pale skin looked horrible on her that particular day and I could not help but wonder if it was just being in this place or what happened to her._

_If I had thought there was one mere speck of love or emotion in Kathryn I was wrong, today she had shown who she was and who she'll always be. Kathryn Merteuil – The Cold Heartless Bitch I love._

_When she had told me that she was bringing both me and Annette down for Annette's stunt I was disheartened. It wasn't me who formulated that plan and I wish I could have stopped Annette before she had. I now wish I hadn't had written all that stuff about her. Kathryn only got the chance to read what was written on the first page. Maybe if she had read the other pages that follow that she would not hate me so much._

_Annette hurt Kathryn today and I yelled at her all the way home, seeing Kathryn in such a horrible state hurts me and I just wanted to take her away. I did though catch up with the guy who raped her and beat the fuck out of him before returning home. Annette got my verbal abuse and many days of rudeness from me for that, she deserved it._

_I love Kathryn, I'll always have this part of me that longs for her and wants her to be mine. No matter who I fall in love with, Kathryn will always be my only true love, I can't believe she's a lesbian. My love has become a pussy eating bitch. What I wouldn't give to just have her back to herself and in my arms._

My eyes were blurry from the tears slowly making their way down my cheeks. He was sweet, yet so Sebastian like in his writing. I placed down his book and shut it as Sebastian made his way to me. He lifted up my chin and wiped away the tears that were rolling down my face.

"Don't cry"

I loved this side of Sebastian, his sweet side, the one where he cared about me most. Caressing my face and loving me like I was the prettiest girl on Earth.

"I meant every word Kathryn, you are a bitch and you always will be but I love you"

I didn't know what he wanted me to say, the words from that day I was destroyed sprung into my head. All I had read and all I had cried about for the past two years were welling up inside me. It was not so easy to forget what he had said about me.

Sebastian kissed my lips softly, I tried to fight it back but it didn't happen. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and for a few longs moments I let it happen, I got caught up in the moment and enjoyed his taste.

"You don't love me Sebastian" I blurted out after pulling away from him.

"I do"

"Sebastian if you loved me you would have saved me from that hell hole a long time ago"

"I…well…"

"That's right, you don't"

"I fucking do Kathryn!"

"Don't yell at me Sebastian! I am trying to talk civilly"

"Then listen to me and know that I love you!"

"Fuck you, you don't love me. Go back to your country bumpkin girlfriend. Oh where is she by the way, I saw her here before"

"She had to go somewhere"

I rolled my eyes and got up. "Whatever Sebastian"

I left his room and rushed down the stairs of the Valmont townhouse, I was going out. I didn't know where and I didn't really care, but I needed to get away from Sebastian, because if I stayed I knew I'd fall into his web and screw him.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been long! Please don't hate me, I've just been busy and had so much to do for school and been sick and gahh, gotta fit so much in. I haven't had many reviews, only one on this story which saddens me. I'd really like if more people would** **review it hint hint**

**Hope this chapter is okay.**

**REVIEW NOW!**


	4. Quatre

_I can only imagine what you're painting, what you're painting  
And your body on my mattress is proof  
And your makeup on my pillow is proof  
But do you think I am telling you the truth_

Lyrical Lie – Cute Is What We Aim For

* * *

I've barely spoken to Sebastian in the past four weeks. He's either been at Annette's, with Annette, or anywhere that's not near me, I as well have been trying to avoid him. I don't care what he has to say anymore, whether he still loves me or he doesn't, the words he wrote still hurt me. 

Adam and Abby left a week ago, so pretty much I've been shopping or seeing Blaine, any thing that will keep me away from the Valmont townhouse and my mother.

I walked into the townhouse, it was later then when I usually get home, I stepped up the stairs quietly, and hoping Sebastian would be asleep and not notice that I was home. But when I reached the top of the stairs I hear moaning and laughter from his room.

Just before I was about to open it up and tell Annette and him to stop fucking so I could sleep, Sebastian grabbed me by the arm. I shook my head.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Uh this is my house"

I pointed to his room and then looked to him. His face looked confused. He rubbed his forehead and stepped closer to his door and pulled me with him, opening up the wooden door of his room and turning on the light before the two people could have time to cover themselves up or hide.

"Adam?" I cried, when I saw his naked body into of Annette's.

"Annette!" Sebastian yelled, he seemed less compassionate and less hurt then I was.

"Kathryn, Sebastian" Annette screeched, moving from underneath Adam and covering herself up with the blankets.

Adam immediately got up, picked up his clothes and quickly got dressed, I stood there stunned. I loved him, he wasn't even supposed to be in America, let alone New York and here I found him fucking miss purity.

"I'm sorry" Adam said, scurrying past me with Annette following closely behind him.

Annette closed the door behind her, I stared blankly at the bed before me, inside I felt empty, like suddenly someone had taken a piece of me and it was lost forever. My heart felt broken, I could have cried but not even tears were able to form in my confused and broken state.

"Well…" Sebastian started.

I collapsed to the floor, leaning against the wall for support, still staring at the bed; I wrapped my arms around my legs. Sebastian slid down next to me, not trying to comfort me but neither trying to talk to me. He just sat beside me, staring at the bed as I was doing.

"Fuck" I said, leaning against the wall.

Closing my eyes I covered my eyes with my hands and banged my head against Sebastian's wall. Pictures of Annette and Adam filled my head, I snapped to what had just happened and started to cry, releasing emotions that most people never saw me have, but Sebastian had a few times.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

I couldn't think of an excuse to make-up right now, Sebastian didn't understand why I was crying because he didn't know that I was Adam's girlfriend and not just his friend.

"Sebastian I have to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"Abby was never my girlfriend, nor am I a lesbian. Adam was my…boyfriend" I sobbed.

Sebastian took my hand and held it in his between us, squeezing it lightly as if to let me know that he was there for me. I rested my head on his shoulder, crying into his expensive jacket, he stroked my head and whispered that everything would be okay.

I kept on sobbing and crying, every now and then I would say Adam to myself but Sebastian would hear it and then he would hold me closer and squeeze my hand a little tighter, I liked it, it made me feel a little better if not a lot.

My eye lids started to feel heavy and sleep was over powering my ability to stay awake. Sebastian saw this and picked me up, cradling me in his arms, he took me in to my room and set me down on my bed, putting my blankets over me and moving my hair from my face.

"Goodnight Kathryn" He whispered.

I vaguely watched him walk out and close my door behind him, in the silence of the Valmont townhouse I heard his muffled cries and cusses of Annette, then a loud thump and another cuss at the once virgin blonde, 'love of his life'.

* * *

After showering and getting dressed into a pretty white gown I spun and smiled at myself in the mirror of my room. I had wallowed in my sadness of Adam cheating on me all day but now was time to shine and show myself off and get back my good girl reputation from all of New York. 

My mum had somehow found out about the whole Adam and Abby charade and about Adam cheating on me. At first she was loving and caring about it but then scolded me. 'Why did he cheat on you with Annette Kathryn?' 'She's prettier, smarter and classier then you lose some weight you whore'.

I knew how to win her back though, parading around for all her friends to see how pretty and nice I was would get me back in her good books hopefully, so I agreed to go to the party tonight, something about charity.

"Kathryn dear, get in the limousine" Edward told me, calling from inside the vehicle as I stepped down from the front steps.

I got inside the limo, it turned out my mother nor Sebastian was ready yet and weren't in the limo, so I was stuck with Sebastian's pervert of a father until they were ready to go and inside the limousine.

"Oh, Edward, I thought my mother was in here"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Kathryn" He smiled.

"Of course not Edward"

He moved closer and placed his hand over mine which were situated on my lap. His other arm swung around me and he leant in close, he was quite an attractive man for someone of his age, but he was Sebastian's father and way too old for me.

"You look lovely tonight"

"Thank you"

Suddenly his hand started to move up my leg, he caressed and gently rubbed my leg. I was alarmed, he had never made a move on me and I never thought he would, definitely not whilst we were waiting for my mother at least.

"Um…Edward…I…I"

"Don't be afraid Kathryn dear"

He kissed up and down my neck; I would be telling a lie if I said it didn't turn me on, but he was so much older and Sebastian's father, I could not do that to Sebastian, I couldn't betray him like that. If my mother found out I would be in a lot of trouble and so would Edward.

"Mr…Mr…M…m…mmm…Mr Valmont" I stuttered, enjoying it too much.

"Are you wet Kathryn?"

Before I could answer Edward's fingers were inside me, it was easy access as I was not wearing underwear because it showed lines through my dress. He played with me and kissed my neck.

"I think…you are…Kathryn" He said between kisses.

Edward was good at fingering me, Sebastian must have learnt from him because god was this man a god at it, seriously if I had wanted to I could have orgasmed several times already through the whole 2 minutes he had been fingering me for.

"Sebastian straighten your tie!"

My mother, her voice shrieked outside the car, Sebastian and my mother had been so quiet that if she hadn't of shrieked at Sebastian I wouldn't have known either were coming at that moment.

Edward quickly pulled his fingers out and I straightened my dress and he moved over to the other side, before Sebastian and my mother could get in the limo.

"Kathryn you're in ready"

"Yes mother"

"You're cheeks are red, you used to much blush you stupid girl!"

Oh god, my cheeks, I was flushed. I hope Sebastian didn't notice. I checked myself in a mirror, I knew it would eventually go away, for now I had to sit there and act like nothing had happened, or at least till none of my family was around.

Right now I was horny as fuck; I had never got to reach my peek, which always pissed me off. I sat uncomfortably in the seat, Sebastian beside me. He played with his tie, trying to loosen it as I think it was cutting of his air.

We arrived at the party; mother and Edward were first up. I was about to get out when Sebastian pulled me backed and closed the door. I fell back onto him, both of us tumbling to the spacious floor of the black limousine.

"What the fuck Sebastian!"

My body was on top of his, automatically his arms had wrapped around me, mine holding me up from lying on Sebastian.

"I wanted to talk"

"Then talk"

"Why were you so flushed when I got into the car?"

"No reason, it was just hot in here"

"Don't lie to me Kathryn"

"I'm not lying! Now if you don't mind I have a party to work and people to manipulate"

I quickly got up, opened the limo door and stepped out. Immediately people awed at me. They stared as if I was an animal from a zoo or an alien that had just been discovered. It was the return of me, Kathryn Merteuil, my downfall had been horrible, reputation ruined. Now I was back, better then ever and ready to get back at those who had destroyed me, mainly Annette Hargrove who I was told would be here tonight. Tonight I would not bring her down as such, tonight I would warn her off for fucking my once boyfriend.

"Kathryn, Kathryn!" One of my mother's socialite daughters approached me.

"Hi Kelly"

"How've you been Kathryn!? Oh my god how was rehab!? Everyone has been talking about"

"Sorry Kelly, but I have to go"

I waved off the blonde girl. Really how dumb could she be? Why the fuck was she asking me how rehab was and how I've been? No doubt she had heard about Adam, how the fuck did she think I was? Just cheery thanks!

I kept on walking, making my way to the bar that was until I spotted the blonde virgin. My sour face turned into a malicious grin, she spotted me too, she turned to run probably but I made it to her first and stopped her.

"Annette! How lovely it is to see you" I spoke whilst her father was around.

"And Mr Hargrove"

"Hello Kathryn, you look much better now"

"Thank you Mr Hargrove. Do you think I could have a word with Annette?"

"Sure dear"

He patted Annette's shoulder and turned to speak to someone else. I grabbed Annette's arm and pulled her into the closest room that was not being occupied and threw her across the room in anger. She hit a wall and rubbed her arm.

"I have a few things to say to you sweet Annette"

Annette didn't cower, but the girl stood completely still, I'm pretty sure she knew what I was about to talk to her about and if not she was pretty thick not to, after all she did fuck _my_ boyfriend.

"Who the fuck do you think you are exactly!?"

"I'm sorry Kathryn, I was looking for Sebastian…and…and well he was…" She stuttered.

"Don't bullshit me Annette"

Suddenly that sweet look she always kept vanished from her pretty face and I actually think she rolled her eyes at me. I stepped closer and pushed her harder against the wall, grabbing her arm roughly so it hurt, then maybe she would cower to me.

"Fine, I've been fucking him for awhile, he never left New York when he told you he was"

"What?"

"He…was…fucking…me…all…that…time" Annette said slowly as if I was daft.

I slapped her hard across the face, my hand stung from the confrontation my hand had had with Annette's face, but I was glad I had done it; I wasn't soon going to regret hitting her. She looked to me astonished then left the room.

Once Annette had left I truly was defeated. I didn't know how someone like Adam could have lied to me so long, told me he loved me and claimed to make love to me, when all that time he said he had not been in New York he was with Annette fucking her. Fucking that blonde Virgin Mary.

My chest heaved; I always found it harder to breathe when I was upset or sad. Questions were running through my head a million miles an hour. I felt alone and cold, something I hadn't felt much of before. I guess karma was kind of getting me back for all the tricks and things I had done to people of my many years.

I wiped my eyes that were quickly filling with watery tears; I had cried a lot lately, mostly because of Adam. I closed my eyes and sat on the floor in my beautiful white gown, I didn't care if it got dirty or ripped. I needed coke; I need to relieve my stress.

Without thinking I opened my purse up and took out my cell phone, dialling the only person's number I had memorized and would call when I was in such a vulnerable state; Sebastian Valmont.

He was the only person I would ever let see me like this, or in any kind of emotional state. Sebastian was the only person I could really open up to and be myself around, I liked being around him and somehow he made things seem much better then they were, even if they were really bad.

His phone rings, one ring, two ring, three ring…come on Sebastian pick up please, I want to speak to you, I miss you, I _need_ you. Four rings and then he picks up, that charmingly handsome voice of his answers with the usual tone.

"Princess"

"Sebastian…I…can you…Sebastian"

Through sniffles and stuttered words of not knowing what to say, that was all I could manage, all I could think of to say to him. I wiped tears from my cheeks whilst waiting for him to say something, silence, it hurt more then words, but eventually he answered me with a soft voice that both reassured me and made me feel a lot better.

"Where are you?"

I told him where I was, what room without any other details. It was so like Sebastian to do this. He always came to my rescue and sat with me while I sobbed. Neither of us would speak of it the next day or ever for that matter.

"Kathryn?"

Sebastian's voice was soft and calm as he entered the room I was in, my eyes focused on him, my vision was somewhat blurry from crying but I could still make out his perfect figure.

For some reason he always soothed me, even just by voice, it was something about it, maybe our match in personality, maybe it was just the special kind of bond we shared.

"What's wrong?"

"He…they…me"

"I can't understand you when you speak like that Kat"

"Adam was fucking behind my back and then he 'left' for New York, but was really screwing you virgin girlfriend!"

"Don't worry about them Katie"

"Don't fucking worry! DON'T FUCKING WORRY! I loved him Sebastian! He was what helped me get over you and what helped me get through fucking days at rehab, if it wasn't for him I would probably still be in that fucking facility, I fucking lo…"

Sebastian quickly cupped my face and brought it up to his kneeling level of his and kissed me passionately, I guess it was to stop me ranting, but deep down I knew he had wanted to do that for such a long time, he just hadn't found the right time.

For moments the kiss was graceful yet fiery and passionate, it came from emotions that both of us stored up for so long.

We kept kissing, I liked it, he made me feel so different when we were together like nothing else mattered and there was no one else in the world. He groped at my breast, feeling the softness of it as I was not wearing a bra with my dress.

Without a doubt Sebastian is the only guy that can get me wet just by looking at me, he's the only guy that can soothe me and the only guy that truly and completely understands me, Adam never really did, he knew the reformed me, the one that acted and played.

"Let's go home" He spoke, freeing us both from the kiss.

I nodded in agreement and we both slipped away from the party without being noticed and back into the limo where we were safe from the public's eyes and opinions, though we didn't continue kissing we sat in silence, side by side.

When we got home we both walked inside, lights were off and maids, servants and butlers were probably sleeping. I walked upstairs and Sebastian followed me, until we got to the second floor living room, where I sat on the couch.

Sebastian sat beside me, it was dark and I couldn't quite make his face out as my eyes had not adjusted to the darkness yet, but I smiled to myself, he was handsome and he was mine and forever will be, no one will take that away from me again.

He moved in and planted kisses on the top of my breasts, I played with his curly blonde locks, his mouth moving down as he unzipped the back of my dress slowly. I pulled his head up and made out with him, his pouty pink full lips were so nice to kiss.

My hands travelled down his stomach, until I reached the top of his pants, in which I un-did his pants and started to take them off. I was finally going to give into Sebastian, the one man I had wanted since the day I met him but was too proud to do it.

He was about to take off my panties as I was giggling, but someone cleared there throat in the darkness. I jumped up and quickly grabbed my dress, cuddling close to Sebastian in fear of who the hell was in our house.

"Sebastian Valmont, il est agréable de vous voir de nouveau le frère"

_Sebastian Valmont, it's nice to see you again brother._

The lights flicked on, I looked over to where the voice had come from.

A tall, tanned, dark haired man stood next to one of the other couches in the room. His hair was slightly wavy and his lips much like Sebastian's but not as full. He wore slim glasses like Sebastian's but his were different in shape. When taking closer look at him I noticed his eyes were also blue and his figure was close to what Sebastian's looked like.

I was fluent in a lot of language but not French, it hadn't been one of my strong languages and from what I could tell that's the language the man had spoken, the only words I made out were Sebastian, Valmont and you.

I held onto Sebastian tightly still, I had no clue who this man was, from Sebastian's look he very much knew who he was, but I don't think he was sure on what the man was doing here. I nudged Sebastian but he didn't turn to look at me or give me any answers, he kept his gaze on the dark haired man.

"Dakota, que faites-vous ici?" Sebastian said to the man.

_Dakota, what are you doing here?_

"Je suis venu pour vous voir. Ne sont pas vous heureux de me voir?"

_I came to see you. Aren't you happy to see me?_

"Surpris plus ainsi. Le papa sait-il que vous êtes ici?"

_Surprised more so. Does dad know you are here?_

"No. j'espérais le surprendre."

_No. I was hoping to surprise him._

"Sebastian what is going on" I asked Sebastian.

I think Sebastian only just remember that I was in the room, I had been listening to their conversation, I hadn't made much sense of it, as I am not very fluent in French as I said.

"Oh Kathryn c'est...I mean, Oh Kathryn this is my brother Dakota"

_Oh Kathryn this is…_

I stood up with Sebastian and walked over to his brother, who I now knew as Dakota. I probably would have figured it out sooner or later as both were so similar, I don't know why Sebastian never mentioned he had a brother before though.

"Dakota c'est ma demi-soeur Kathryn." Sebastian said to Dakota.

_Dakota this is my step-sister Kathryn._

"Il est très agréable de rencontrer une si belle fille américaine." Dakota said, which I did not understand.

_It's very nice to meet such a beautiful American girl._

Sebastian laughed, I did not, I didn't understand what he had said so I just smiled politely as he kissed my hand.

Dakota Valmont, handsome, tall, probably smart. He was probably much like Sebastian and remembered for his de-flowering of many girls, I don't need another one of those around here.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you didn't mind me putting translations in there when the speech was in French, I just thought it would be better to read and understand if you all knew what it said, I know that's what I would want.**

**The introduction of another Valmont, hope you enjoyed reading it. Please review. I want at least one so I can continue and be motivated.**

**Review?**


	5. Cinq

_Come on, take a step towards me  
So you can figure me out  
I've been hoping and praying for a single way  
To show you what I'm all about  
And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds  
But when this is over and done with and we walk away  
There should be no doubts_

Beauty In The Breakdown – The Scene Aesthetic

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Sebastian and I redressed ourselves and sat back on the couch, Dakota taking a seat on the couch opposite both of us. They continued to talk in French until Edward and my mother got home, both went silent and waited for Edward to come.

"Yes Tiffany darling" Edward spoke to my mother as he climbed the last steps.

"Sebastian, Kathryn, what are you still…Dakota?"

"Bonsoir père"

_Good evening father._

"que faites-vous ici ? vous n'avez pas pensé à vous appeler avant que vous vous êtes manifestés?"

_What are you doing here? Did you not think to call before you showed up?_

"J'ai cru que vous seriez heureux de me voir, mais évidemment je me suis trompé"

_I thought you'd be happy to see me, but obviously I was wrong._

"What the hell is going on here Edward!? I demand answers"

"Tiffany this is my son Dakota"

"You never told me you had another son Edward! Another lie hmm!?"

My mother stormed off to her bedroom without a goodnight or even greeting Sebastian's brother. Edward walked off after her, looking angrier then what he had when he came in.

"vous pouvez rester ici Dakota, en bas ce hall, la troisième porte à gauche"

_You can stay here Dakota, down the hall, third door on the left._

"Merci"

_Thanks._

Once Dakota had gone I made my way to my bedroom, Sebastian following behind me as if he knew I wanted answers to all sorts of questions. Or maybe he just wanted to finish what we had started, I can tell you now that that was not going to happen.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him once he had closed the door to my room.

"I didn't think it would matter"

"Wouldn't matter?"

"Well he's only my half brother"

"How so?"

"My father had an affair with another woman, just before he got my mother pregnant, as you can tell the other woman got pregnant too"

"You still didn't tell me"

"God Kathryn it didn't matter, I hardly ever saw him, once or twice a year until I moved to New York with my father, I hadn't seen Dakota in 10 or more years"

I turned my back and opened up my balcony doors, standing in the door way and looking out onto the park from my room, it was a nice night, no clouds and the moon lit up the whole sky, I could clearly see down to the park benches from my room.

"Je suis Kathryn désolée, je vous aime"

_I'm sorry Kathryn, I love you._

"What did you just say?"

Sebastian's arms wrapped around my waist, his head slid onto my shoulder, he kissed at my neck. I turned to look at him, his face wore a goofy smile and I could only help but smile back at him, wearing the same smile he was.

"You'll know one day"

"Asshole"

"Whore"

"Eat me"

He spun me around and picked me up with ease, carrying me to the bed and dropping me down on it. I fell back on it, laying flat, Sebastian at the end of my bed licking his lips.

His hands un-zipped my dress and slid it off with ease, sliding then up my inner thighs. He got to his knees and kissed up my leg, stopping before he reached my panties and starting from my knee again, he was teasing and I knew it, I'd just have to play his game.

I kicked him back and he fell to his ass, frowning at me until I got up and smiled back at him. I kicked off my shoes and stood over him, looking down at my Sebastian, deep into his eyes and into his mind, I knew what he wanted.

"Mmm Kathryn"

Sebastian's hands ran up my legs, stopping at my ass and squeezing it lightly. He kissed my leg and whispered something in French which I didn't understand of course.

My panties were wet, I was horny, and so was he, telling by the bulge forming in his pants. I sat on his couch, rubbing myself hard on him, moving up and down and moaning just the way he liked me too.

"Oh god Sebastian" I moaned softly in his ear.

The pants he were wearing soon came off with my help, I still kept my self on him, rubbing and touching him. Sebastian never moaned with any girl but me, I knew this because I had never heard him moan ever any time he brought home a slut to fuck.

"Mmm…Kat stop being a tease…fuck me"

He stroked my hair, wandering his hands to my breasts and un-clipping my bra to let them free, he pinched my nipples and sucked on them softly, holding me at the hips so I would stay in place. Fuck that boy could please me.

"Okay"

Sebastian was certainly surprised when I said yes, he stopped touching me and looked me in the eyes, ripping his boxers off faster then I had ever known you could do.

I lowered myself down until my pussy hovered above is hard on, he bit his lip in anticipation, rubbing my breasts. I was tempted to just fuck him silly, but my whole aim was to tease him so that's exactly what I was going to do.

"Oh…fucking hell Kathryn just fuck me already" He said.

My hand stroked his erection, holding it up straight so I could lower down on it, when it was just at my opening I rubbed my self over it, but not so it was in. He moaned like crazy at the feeling of my warm wet juices.

"Like that Sebastian?"

"Mhmm"

Then I quickly got off and walked over to my bed, with a satisfied smile on my face, spreading my legs so he could see what he was going to miss out on tonight and maybe for a very long time coming.

"What the?"

"Goodnight Sebastian"

"Huh?"

"I said goodnight"

Sebastian scowled at me, but it didn't really bother me, I hadn't really cared. He walked out after getting dressed his erection almost ripping his pants. Seems that boy is going to have to make do with him self tonight, ha ha.

* * *

I flung my robe over me, I had just woken up and hadn't bothered to shower yet, I hadn't expected my mother or Edward to be home so it wasn't really something I was concerned with, so I walked down stairs with it.

My robe was silk and very short, it came down just below my nightgown which was basically see through, it isn't something I prance around the house in, especially if Edward happens to be home, as I walked downstairs I heard talking, but didn't take much notice.

"combien de temps planifiez-vous sur le fils restant ?"

_How long are you planning on staying son?_

"Je n'avais pas décidé encore, ma mère a cru que je devrais partir et vous visiter, mais je n'ai pas été sûr si vous me voudriez autour d'ou non"

_I hadn't decided yet, my mother thought I should come out and visit you, but I wasn't sure if you would want me around or not._

As I entered the room Edward, Sebastian and Dakota all turned to look at me, my mother wasn't at the table, my best bet was she was at the plastic surgeon today.

"Good morning Kathryn" Sebastian spoke, smirking at me mischievously.

I went to sit in my usual place next to Sebastian but Dakota was sitting there, I secretly scowled then made my way over to the other side of the table across from Sebastian where my breakfast was waiting for me, a fruit salad.

"What are you planning on doing today dear?" Edward asked.

"I haven't planned anything, I might go play some tennis down at the country club"

"Sounds delightful" Sebastian smiled.

"Yes brother"

"Sebastian jouez-vous au tennis ? peut-être nous devrions rejoindre votre soeur"

_Sebastian do you play tennis? Maybe we should join your sister._

Sebastian didn't say anything back to Dakota, I'm not sure what Dakota said, but it had to do something with Tennis, I was guessing he wanted to play tennis, or tag along, I seriously didn't mind, Dakota was hot.

"Dakota je crois que vous devriez parler l'anglais, vous savez comment à, juste donc Kat peut vous comprendre"

_Dakota I think you should speak English, you know how to, just so Kat can understand you._

"Kathryn do you mind if your brother and I join along?"

I must have looked like the most stupidest person on Earth right at that moment, I didn't really know what to say because I really hadn't expected on him actually talking to me in English, let along ask to join me at the country club.

"No I don't mind"

"See Sebastian, now get up, we go now"

* * *

I was hitting the ball pretty hard, pretending it was Annette Hargrove's head. Dakota came over to me and held my racquet and grabbed me by the waist and smiled, god his smile was like looking at heaven if it even existed.

"Don't hit so hard Kathryn"

His voice was so soothing, it had his accent, but when he spoke English he seemed so different.

I was about to reply to him when someone called out my name, I tried ignoring it but Dakota noticed and pointed over to where the voice was coming from. When I turned around I almost could have punched the two people standing there, Annette and Adam.

"KATHRYN!" He yelled to me.

"Maybe you should go there, I wait for you"

I walked on over, Sebastian was chatting away to Annette like nothing had ever happened and I'm not sure how he could do it, he had claimed to love her and then she cheated on him behind his back for a few weeks, how could he even stand her.

"What do you want?" I asked, sipping my water.

"I came to speak to you"

"Well frankly Adam, I'd rather we not speak"

"I'm sorry Kathryn, I really do love you and I wish I could take it all back"

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know, there was just something about Annette"

The same something that made Sebastian leave me for her? Did Annette have something I did not which made males fall for her and leave me, it was now twice she has taken two people I love away from me.

"I think you should leave"

"Please Kathryn, don't hate me"

"It's a bit hard not to hate you Adam!" My voice was raised.

"Shh Kathryn, you'll make a scene"

"Don't tell me to be quiet Adam! You cheated on me with fucking Annette and lied to my face about going home! I loved you!"

My hand met his face and made a loud sound, it was heard my most anyone on the court and people's heads turned to see what was going on.

"I hate you Adam! I hate that slut Annette! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

I kept hitting his chest, he was cornered between me and a wall and could not move, I was hurting him because he was starting to wince, but I did not care, I did not care that people were gossipping about me or looking my way or that I was crying.

"Kathryn!" Sebastian yelled as he tried to restrain me.

"Get off me Sebastian!"

"Calm down Kathryn"

Both Dakota and Sebastian grabbed my arms and pulled me away from Adam, I watched from my blurry eyes as he ran away, Annette following behind him yelling out things to him. Sebastian and Dakota set me down on the ground in front of them.

"Kathryn, Kathryn" Sebastian tried to snap me back but I was not listening.

Dakota shook me, I stared into his eyes for long moments, and I suppose he could see the hurt in my eyes, because immediately he embraced me into a hug. He hadn't been there when Sebastian and I found them, but I was guessing that he knew now, he knew why I was angry and hurt.

* * *

I sat by the indoor pool at our house, lip syncing to words of music playing over the stereo. I was not in the pool, but my legs were swung over the edge dangling in the water, I fingered the necklace on my neck, thinking about nothing really, just sitting.

I heard footsteps, but didn't acknowledge them. I didn't really have to, my neither mother nor Edward were here anymore so who ever it was either wasn't too important or could just wait.

Before the person spoke to me or anything else he pushed me in the water, jumping in after me. I screamed, not really expecting the water or the push really. As I sprung up from beneath the water I saw Sebastian, standing near the edge smiling his gorgeous smile, or really smirking as if he had just accomplished something and won a round.

"That wasn't nice" I told him.

"You're not nice"

"I guess you're right there"

I swam over to him by the wall. "What are you doing?" I stood beside him.

"I wanted to swim"

"You didn't have to push me in"

We both looked at each other, his baby blue eyes told stories and mysteries. My eyes were attracted to his eyes and his full pouty lips, oh how I loved Sebastian's lips. Just the whole perfect ness of them in general I guess.

Kissing his mouth was always something I enjoyed, his taste and just the smoothness of his lips. Sebastian tasted different to everyone else, a nice taste that I just could not resist something that I missed and wanted never to go away.

My heart started to beat faster, for some reason every time I was this close to him or sometimes just in the same room my heart would beat faster and something inside me felt like it was jumping up and down like it was excited or something.

"Sebastian…"

"Shhh" He silenced me, as he kept looking into my eyes.

He stroked my forehead softly; it kind of soothed my on going headache which I had had for almost 2 days straight. His hands were soft, I loved the softness, it was like rubbing silk on my forehead as weird as that sounds.

"I want to-" I covered my mouth with my hand.

"That's right shh" He giggled, taking his hand away from my forehead and wrapping it around my waist.

But that wasn't it, I was not covering my mouth to keep myself quiet, I was covering my mouth because I felt like I was going to vomit. I shook my head at him and swam to the steps and jumped out, running to the door, but not quite making it. Vomit spewed from my mouth as I reached the door.

"What the hell Kat…oh my god are you alright?" He followed after me to the door.

"Gross"

"Thanks Sebastian" I rolled my eyes.

Sebastian was always so charming about everything. His hands wrapped around my hair and he held it back for me as I kept on vomiting, rubbing my back and trying to sooth me.

He called for the maid so she could clean it up and once I had stopped vomiting he carried me upstairs to my room, putting me in some warm clothes and placing me under the covers of my bed, kissing my forehead and brushing hair from around my face.

"Just sleep it off"

I watched him walk out, not saying a word to him. Maybe I should have thanked him for it but I think he was probably quite used to me not saying thank you after all these years so there was really no need to bother, it wasn't like he had saved my life or anything, he had just carried me to my bedroom and got me changed yeah?

Before I could sleep, or even shut my eyes Dakota came into my room. "Kathryn?" He said with his charming accent that made me want to melt.

He turned on my light, the brightness just making my headache worse. I covered my eyes with my hands and groaned. Dakota got the point and switched off my light, making his way over to my bed t talk to me I suppose.

"Why are you in bed? It's only Seven o'clock"

"Sick"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

His hand ran lightly over my bare arm, it was warm and nice. My eyes burned into his, if only he knew what I was wanting right now. My headache was still there but god I wanted him bad.

"Sleep Kathryn" He softly spoke.

Then he got up and smiled at me, his smile was like Sebastian's, but I don't know there was something different about it, something different about the way it made me feel. I grabbed his arm and shook my head softly, trying not to make the room spin.

"Stay"

So he stayed.

* * *

**A/N: Update, yerp. Hope you like it, sorry for not doing this in awhile but I've been stuck on it.**

**Review please.**


	6. Six

_I remember when the days were long,  
And the nights when the living room was on the lawn.  
Constant quarrelling, the childish fits, and our clothes in a pile on the ottoman.  
All the slander and double-speak,  
Were only foolish attempts to show you did not mean  
Anything but the blatant proof was your lips touching mine in the photo booth._

Photobooth – Death Cab For Cutie

* * *

It's been two weeks and 3 days since I asked Dakota to stay with me that night. I don't know whether the cause of my somewhat fondness to an almost stranger was because of my illness that night or if it was just the sense of being alone in a darkened room in my weakened state.

Whatever the reason was didn't really matter, that fact was that I had asked Dakota to stay and I hope he didn't read into it. He is like what? My half-step-brother? No, too confusing, I don't know how or even if he is legally related to me, but I couldn't betray Sebastian like that.

Ever since I had suddenly fallen ill that night in the pool in where I had almost succumb to Sebastian, he has been keeping a close watch on me, making sure I eat (even if I throw it back up later) and all sorts of stuff like that, I really don't think it's necessary, I'm fine really.

"Kathryn are you ready?" Sebastian was calling me from downstairs.

Today we were off the snow for the long weekend. My mother and Edward told us they were meeting us up there as both had plans to attend to before hand (Edward to probably screw his secretary and my mother for more plastic surgery on her already plastic face).

I made my way downstairs with a maid carrying my many bags behind me. I had a very expensive designer snow suit on, ready to go skiing I suppose, not that I much fancied it at all. Both Valmont siblings ogled at me as I made my way to the awaiting limousine outside the townhouse. Fickle minded boys.

"My Kathryn aren't you a picture of perfection" Sebastian complimented me, but I already knew that.

"It's true Kathryn, you are simple gorgeous in that snow suit" Dakota added.

For some reason hearing I was beautiful from Dakota was somewhat different. It didn't sound as…arrogant I suppose. Or as if he was trying to get in my panties, where as Sebastian always had a certain tone when he complimented me around people, one where he sounded arrogant and possessive of me.

"Thank you"

"Planning on skiing are we Kathryn?" Sebastian asked me, raising his eyebrows as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Maybe"

"I'd like to see you try"

"As if you could ski either dear brother" I kept my perfect posture whilst mid way through a mildly heated argument with his gorgeous face.

"Whatever sis I'm not going to argue"

When Dakota wasn't looking I licked my lips at Sebastian and touched my breast, groping at it whilst Sebastian watched open mouthed gaping at me and my present actions. His eyes widened when my hand started to travel down my slim body, he watched in anticipation as my hand reached my waist, but before I could continue teasing Sebastian Dakota returned from his gaze out the window and I quickly moved my hand away, placing it beside me on the leather seat of the very spacious limousine we were riding in.

A few hours passed and we finally arrived at the resort we were staying in for the long weekend whilst at the snow. It was briskly cold as I stepped out of the limousine, I had a warm jacket wrapped around me, but still shivered coldly as the wind blew through my hair rapidly.

Sebastian saw this and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, not getting to close to me as to everyone else we were step-siblings. Dakota, Sebastian and I were showed our rooms at the resort, a very cosy little resort, only available to very exclusive members of the public, people who could pay top prices for rooms that so weren't worth it.

Last time we had stayed here Sebastian and I had been wandering the resort, if my memory serves me correct (and it usually does) I believe we were seated in the little café by the front counter sipping hot chocolate. I remember looking up and seeing none other then Brad Pitt. Yes, movie stars stayed here.

I followed one of the bell boys to my room where my bags were taken. Sebastian and Dakota were taken to their rooms followed by their bags.

Taking a seat on my very comfortable bed I began to relax, something about the snow seemed to soothe all that bothered me, not that there was much bothering me lately, life had been a pretty easy ride. But I guess when things start to go good it only results in things turning bad and I was expecting it too. I knew things never stayed good for too long around me, I was used to it by now.

"Nice room" Sebastian commented as he entered my room without as much as a knock (nothing unusual).

"How's yours?" I asked, getting up from my position.

Sebastian smirked, pondering awhile on his own thoughts. I stepped closer to him waiting for an answer from my gorgeous step-brother.

"It's fine"

"As warm as mine? You know it can get pretty cold" I commented.

"Maybe we should sleep next to each other, you know to absorb each other's body heats"

I shoved him hard, smiling at him. If our parents weren't going to be arriving soon and Dakota hadn't had been here maybe, just maybe I would have shared a bed with him. Purely for body warmth of course. Who am I kidding myself; I would share a bed with him simply because I like Sebastian's companionship.

"Ouch"

"You deserved it"

He rolled his eyes and turned away from me. But before he went we heard two bickering and familiar voices. Oh yes, my mother and his father had arrived for the weekend. Hopefully this wasn't one of their attempts to make us seem more family like because seriously I would rather freeze to death then act lovingly towards my mother and step-father this weekend.

Sebastian grabbed my hand and pulled me close, kissing me before I could pull away. For moments I didn't try to pull away or stop him and I let him kiss me so passionately. Snapping back to reality I stopped kissing him and opened the door, walking out waiting for him to follow so we could greet my mother and his father.

* * *

The little café inside the resort was a nice place to sit and relax. It seemed so cold outside, it was snowing lightly and the wind had died down a bit but still the weather could freeze you in two seconds if you weren't wearing a few extra bits of clothing to keep yourself warmer then usual.

I sat at the seat, sipping my hot chocolate, the hot liquid scolding my mouth as it ran down my throat. Damn the lady who made it, I had told her to make it so it was warm not hot! I put it down and sank down into my chair, I was quite content in spending my afternoon here, alone and able to think without Sebastian.

But maybe I had spoken a little to soon as none other then Sebastian and Dakota appear from around the corner with large smiles on both of their faces. They sat down at the same table I was at and ordered their drinks from the passing waitress who I may just add was quite a pretty girl for someone who worked as a waitress.

"Un-freezing your ice, Kathryn?" Sebastian stated, sipping his hot drink when the waitress passed it to him.

"I hope you burn your mouth really bad"

"Now, now, Kathryn, Sebastian, why are you two always bickering at each other? Can't you just be civil for a few minutes?"

The truth was I didn't know why we couldn't just be civil. I suppose it was in both our natures to resolve to bickering when the one insulted the other, or maybe it was our pride, we didn't want to back down to each other in fear of the other being the strong person in our little mind fucks. Because being the strongest in our mind games meant you had power, and with power came control and if you had the control then you were one up on the other.

Sebastian's disgusted gaze towards me turned to another woman sitting at table by herself, closer to the counter. A pretty girl with shoulder-length black hair and sparkling green eyes, a lighter shade then mine but not prettier.

"Wow" Sebastian commented on the woman, turning back to me and Dakota.

"She's not that pretty god Sebastian"

"She's not pretty at all" Sebastian said, I smiled at him but I should have expected something more from him. "She's gorgeous" He stated, my face dropped.

"Stop trying to make me jealous Valmont, it does not work on me"

"Stop thinking that everything revolves around you!"

"You're such a…a…"

"A what Kathryn!?"

"…a hormonal fuck wit"

"Coming from you who fucks any guy with the right amount of money and good looks"

"You're such an asshole"

He sighed, slamming his hands on the table and getting up from his seat. He looked me straight in the eye and brought his head down to my level. I could tell he was ready to insult me, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to already, so I waited for his hurt.

"And you're a vindictive slut. So I guess that makes us even then"

With that he walked off to the girl sitting alone at her table, now eating a chocolate muffin. My jaw clenched, I hated Sebastian for his hormonal ways. Why couldn't he think with his brain and not his dick for once!?

"Ahhh!" I shouted in frustration. Getting up from my seat I rushed out the door not thinking about how cold it was going to be as soon as I was outside.

Then it hit me. The snow had become thicker and heavier as it fell and the wind had a certain chill to it as it screamed through the trees. I shivered, but still proceeded to walk outside, I was only wearing a dress with tights underneath and a light cardigan so as you can imagine I was pretty fucking cold.

"Fucking Sebastian" I muttered to myself still walking through the snow.

Suddenly I felt ill, my head felt like it had just been hit with a rather large and heavy object and there was this searing pain and throbbed throughout my whole head that hurt like fucking hell. I screamed out in pain, but no body would have heard me. The wind howled around me and it was very cold and you could barely see anything.

I slumped to the ground, clutching my head, the whole world was spinning around me now and my main concern was not how cold it was but the pain I was feeling all over me. Now with my blurry vision and the snow falling more rapidly and thicker I could barely see my hand.

"Fuck!" I screeched to myself.

I don't exactly know how long I sat there in the cold snow clutching my head and screaming in pain, but I can tell you it was longer then 10 minutes, because my hands were now purple and I was finding it hard to breathe with the coldness of the air,

The pain had stopped for awhile but came back with more force when it came back. The pain now was overpowering and I was shedding some tears from it now. I'm not sure if the cold added to my pain but even if not this pain was unbelievable.

"Kathryn!?" I heard someone yell out and maybe if I hadn't of been so weak and almost unconscious at that stage I might have yelled back to the person, but all that could escape me was a soft whimper that with the howling wind and thick snow could not be heard from more then a metre or two ahead of me and this person was much farther away then that.

I suppose if Sebastian had seen me walk out then maybe he would have come after me to try and calm me down. But then again he was thinking with that damned dick of his and not his brain. Who ever the fuck was calling my name certainly wasn't Sebastian, because as they got closer I could hear a certain and distinct accent in their voice and then I knew that it was Dakota.

Oh yes, if not for Dakota maybe I would have froze to death out here, because sure enough I had no strength or will power to move one bit, I was pretty much frozen into the one spot and the pain ran through my body.

"Kathryn!?" The voice yelled again, closer this time.

This time I mustered up all the strength I had (by this time it was not much) and yelled back. I think that time he heard me because I heard the fast crunching of snow under feet and then I saw his handsome face appear from the thick blanket of falling snow.

"Oh my god Kathryn"

That was the last thing I heard him say and his body leaning down to pick me up was the last thing I saw. I blacked out. I think from the pain but I guess the cold probably added to it aswell.

When I awoke I was in my bed at the resort, no one was around but I found a steaming mug of some sort of liquid beside my bed. The room spun as my eyes opened. I tried adjusting to the light, but it just wasn't working.

"Dakota?" I whispered my voice dry.

Soon enough he did come in, but I think by that stage I had almost fallen back into my slumber, because his voice seemed so low that I barely heard it. But then I heard the voice of another and if I could have I would have opened my eyes to see who it was but I just did not have the strength.

"She'll need to come in for some testing, just to make sure"

"Is she going to be alright?"

"She should be"

* * *

Today the snow had stopped falling and I was feeling much better, I still had a slight headache and every now and then when I got up too fast or turned my head a little quick the room would spin and I would feel dizzy but apart from that I was fine.

I dressed in a skirt with my tights underneath, a warm top and a sweater over the top, still looking every but the Kathryn that I was. After putting on my make-up, doing my hair and everything else that girls do before making appearances in public, I made my way to the elevator to go downstairs.

Just as I was about to get in thinking that I had the whole elevator to myself none other then Mr. Asshole of the year arrived and got in the same elevator as I. I then hoped that maybe Dakota would be behind him, but to my disappointment he wasn't.

"I heard what happened"

I kept my cold façade, really if it hadn't of been for Sebastian I wouldn't have been out there and probably wouldn't have been in so much pain, but then again I actually didn't know what caused my pain and I was supposed to be seeing a doctor when I got back to New York.

"That's nice"

"I'm sorry"

Still I stood quiet and poised on one side, whilst Sebastian kept staring at me like he was digging for something that he was not going to find. He stepped closer and I stepped closer to the wall, trying to get away, then realizing we were in a confined space I knew there was a very small chance I would avoid this talk.

Only two floors Kathryn, two more floors. I told myself, waiting for the elevator to pass down to those floors so I could get the hell away from him. But then I was punished and the elevator stopped and the lights went out, but even when they were I could make out his slender but gorgeous face.

"Sorry for what exactly Sebastian? For making me storm off like I did, or forgetting about me and not bothering to come after me?" I finally answered.

"For both"

"Doesn't change that I almost died out there you arrogant bastard"

"Oh come off it Kat, stop being a drama queen"

"Do you even know what happened to me out there?"

He paused; I guess he hadn't been told what happened to me out there in the cold. I waited for his answer, but he kept silent, his gaze kept switching from the ground to the door in front of him, maybe he was silently hoping that we would start moving again and we would both be able to get out of this goddamn elevator.

"You got cold and passed out" He said.

I don't think he believed his own words because he looked away from me as soon as he said that. He knew that was not the whole story but he didn't know what had actually happened and it was funny to see him struggle for words.

"You don't know what happened. You were probably off screwing that girl from the café whilst I was out in the fucking cold freezing to death in excruciating pain"

"Pain?"

Then the elevator started to move again and before I could think up a response for his question we arrived at the ground floor. I pushed him aside, hurrying out of the elevator before he could stop me for an answer. My head spun rapidly as I moved, I pulled my self over into a side room that was open to catch my breath and stop the spinning, I didn't want Sebastian to see me.

"What the hell is going on with you Kathryn, get it together" I told myself.

Whatever the hell was going on with me it was getting worse everyday and the pain would become more intense. By this rate the pain would kill me within a few days. The sooner I get back to New York the better, and then I can find out what is going on.

Once I had recuperated I made my way to the café, my mother, Edward, Dakota and Sebastian were all seated at a table inside the café. No body was really talking and all of them looked like they wanted to get out of there.

"You're late Kathryn" My mother told me.

Well of course I was late. I was stuck in an elevator with Sebastian bickering as per usual then had to stop and catch my breath and stop the world from fucking spinning before I could move again. So yes mother I was late.

"Sorry mother"

Dakota got up and pulled the chair out for me to sit on, Sebastian had never done that. He smiled and gestured for me to sit and I did so, my head was thudding like it had a pulse of it's own but I tried to ignore the pain and loud thuds.

"How has your stay been so far children?" Edward asked us all.

"Fine" Sebastian replied, eying the same girl he had yesterday.

"This place is magnificent, thank-you for inviting me" Dakota said.

"And how about you Kathryn dear?" Edward asked me.

"Fine thank-you" I almost froze to death because of your arrogant son.

After 10 minutes of family chatter my mother and Edward decided to explore the resort, or rather Edward go diddle a waitress or younger girl and my mother to find some socialite friends of hers to gossip with. We were used to this by now and none of us were fazed.

"Sebastian instead of eying her like a little boy would candy why don't you just go fuck her" I told Sebastian, clearly still angry at him.

"You're just jealous because I've payed much more attention to her then I have you these past two days"

"Yes Sebastian, I haven't been able to sleep because my jealousy just won't let me"

"You two just stop it, you're supposed to get along like siblings should" Dakota tried to beak up the fight, but it simply wouldn't work. This was how Sebastian and I were; we hated and lusted after one another.

"I'll stop arguing when she admits she's jealous"

"Screw you Sebastian, no way will I admit I'm jealous because I'm not!"

"Please Kathryn can you keep our secret affairs out of the conversation, I'm not going to screw you here"

"Sebastian, Sebastian I'd rather screw your dad then you"

"Then why don't you? I'm sure he'd enjoy a whore like you"

"Fuck you"

I got up from seat and ignored Sebastian completely. Excusing my self from the table and giving Dakota an apologetic smile. I walked over to the counter where a very hot looking waiter was. My steps to the counter were wobbly and probably all over the place, I was dizzy but I wasn't going back to Sebastian.

"Hi I'm Kathryn, you're…" I looked at the gorgeous boy's name tag. "Nathan"

"Yes, something I can help you with?" He asked me.

Oh stupid boy, fall in to my web. I leant over the counter and bent over; I knew Sebastian would be watching so I did it on purpose. I whispered dirty words into the boy's ear and immediately he said yes to everything I was saying.

"Meet me in room 1006 in 5 minutes"

I licked his jaw just enough for Sebastian and probably every other male see. I turned on my heel walking away from the counter, swaying my hips just slightly so Nathan would watch me walk and Sebastian too. He always did like my arse.

By the time I got to my room I was extremely dizzy and had to sit down on my bed. I sipped a glass of water and waited for Nathan to arrive. Ten minutes passed and he still hadn't arrived, any longer and I won't wait for him, I don't wait.

But finally he showed up, knocking 3 times and entering when I had said so. Nathan couldn't wait to jump me and pushed me on the bed roughly before I could object. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and started to kiss me like there was no tomorrow. His tongue felt like sandpaper on mine it was quite disgusting.

A few minutes passed and I started to un-do his clothes. Nathan didn't object and started to do the same to me. I got up to slide of my skirt but got up to quickly and fell back to the bed, clutching my head like I had done yesterday in the cold.

No not now, not another episode. But I could not stop the pain that was fast approaching me, too fast that I started to tear from it.

"Call…ow fuck…ambulance" I managed to get out.

Nathan, a very handsome but I think not very bright boy. I fell to the ground, cuddled to myself, still clutching my head and still tearing. He ran out of my room as fast as possible leaving me there to suffer. He was the last thing I remember before waking up probably half an hour later.

When I did awake I was in Dakota's arms whilst he frantically called for an ambulance. My eyes fluttered open but the room spun and I quickly closed them again.

"It's going to be okay Kathryn" He reassured me.

Where was Sebastian?"

"Sebastian…"

"No its Dakota, Sebastian is…busy"

Busy, Sebastian wasn't busy he was off with that girl again I just knew it. Asshole twice this has happened and he hasn't bothered to go after me or stop me even though he probably saw that my steps were wobbly and that I stopped a few times to gain balance and stop the world.

The ambulance finally arrived, rushing in with a stretcher with two men. "Please sir what's the problem?" One of the men asked Dakota as Dakota let me down for the men to check.

Their voice got softer and I think I was drifting back to a state of unconsciousness. The room got dark and even with my eyes closed I could feel it spinning around me; the pain was almost too much as Dakota explained everything.

"This is the second time this has happened, I found her in the snow yesterday passed out"

"Do you know anything more sir?"

Dakota didn't and it was up to me to tell more details. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times looking to the man next to me. "Pain" I managed to say, grabbing my head in another attempt to try and stop the throbbing of my head and the spinning of the room.

Now the unconsciousness was going to take me back. I eyes closed and everybody's voices seemed to reduce to a really quiet whisper before I fell back to dream land. Oh yes I think my state was serious, I just want to know what was going on.

* * *

"Is her mother and father here?"

"No, just I, her step-brother should be here soon"

"Are you her husband or boyfriend?"

"Her half-step-brother. Please sir can you tell me what's wrong with her?"

Voices, I opened my eyes to find myself in a white room in a bed with machines beeping and the smell of sick people around me. My best guess was I was in the hospital and how that seemed to be the truth.

The voices seemed to trail off; I was drifting in and out of the world, yet still being fully awake. The door opened and a distressed and worried Dakota entered with a doctor in a white coat who held a clipboard and seemed like he had some very bad news for me.

"Ms. Merteuil, I'm Dr. Simon"

I did not greet him, I couldn't find words but I probably still wouldn't have even if I could find words. Dakota came over and kissed my head stroking my hair away and holding my hand, enlacing our fingers together and squeezing my hand ever so lightly.

"What's…what's going on?" I managed to get out.

As I've stated before things never stay good for me for too long and I think this was where the bad happened. I wasn't sure what was going to happen or what was going to bed said right now but I knew it would be bad. Things never stay good.

Just as the doctor started to speak I saw Sebastian stand at the door, his arms folded across his chest and his glasses on. His pouty lips, oh how I just wanted him to kiss me and take away the pain right now. Sweet and evil Sebastian.

"Ms. Merteuil, we took a few scans on your brain and ran a few tests because of your late illness'…" The doctor paused.

"And?" I asked, my voice full of worry that I could not disguise.

"You have acoustic neuroma, it's a tumour that forms in the brain and can be fatal if not treated and operated on to remove it"

"I have…I…brain tumour?"

I saw Sebastian's face drop and his eyes fall so gracefully yet so painfully. He looked at me like he wanted to say something but couldn't and then he went. He left without a goodbye or trying to make me feel better, but Dakota stayed.

"Once your parents get here they'll need to decide on whether they want it operated on and if so they'll need to sign a few papers. I'll run over the dangers of the operation with them and you when they get here. I'm sorry Ms. Merteuil" He left the room after that.

Kathryn Merteuil thought to be indestructible and the strongest of them all was terminally ill. Will this year be my last? Is this god's way of punishing me for all the pain I've caused others and all the sins I've committed? I don't know the answers and maybe I never will.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if I got any of the medical details incorrect I used internet sites to tell me most of it. I think it's called acoustic neuroma if not I'm terribly sorry for the mistake.**


	7. Sept

_If you're a little off colour and,  
Out for the count,  
Don't let it get you down._

Once More With Feeling - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly! 

* * *

I've been waiting almost a whole day for my mother to arrive and yet she still hasn't, either she's taking her sweet time or she just doesn't care and my guess is that the bitch just doesn't care that I have a fatal disease and could die very soon.

Sebastian has not been back to see me and I doubt that he will, stupid self absorbed prick, didn't he know I was dieing? Dakota stayed with me for awhile but I asked him to go back to the house and get a few of my things for me and he did just as I asked. Wouldn't you if you were in his position?

So I lay here, the pain still occurring, the doctors say they can't give me any medication for the pain for some reason. If you are wondering whether I'm scared about this whole ordeal, well yes I am I'm fucking scared for my life. I think I'm too young to die, I have many things to do and many more lives to ruin not to mention get Sebastian back for his little prank that he and the virgin played on me. I never quite got around to that.

"Kathryn"

I looked up from my sheets which I was making patterns on with my hands. There at my door was Sebastian. I don't know what the fuck he was doing here because as far as I'm concerned I don't think he gives a flying fuck about me at all.

"What do you want Valmont?" I snickered at him. Did he really deserve what very well could be the last day of my life?

"I came here to…I'm…god Kathryn"

"If you're here to pity on me don't bother"

He stepped closer, taking a seat on the chair beside my bed that Dakota had been sitting on until I sent him to get my things. He looked up to me with those gorgeous eyes that you could get lost in and then I saw his pleading look.

"I'm sorry Kathryn"

I didn't know what to say. Was it really his fault I was dieing? Because I don't think it is, maybe it's his fault that I almost froze to death but it's not his fault that I have a brain tumour. I mean he couldn't have put it there or anything.

"What do you have to be sorry about Sebastian? You didn't inflict this pain on me and you didn't very well plant that tumour in my head"

"I think that would be quite impossible my dear sister"

Even in this state I can still smile at him. He just has this way about him that I can't explain. See if you knew Valmont like I did or really knew him at all you would know why you can smile at him for the stupidest of reasons. Sometimes I feel like one of his whores who bathe in his glory and everything he says. But then again I'm not one; I'm so much more in Sebastian's world.

For a while we were silent, he just held my hand and caressed it gently. I had time to think and it really hit me then. I was dieing and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Okay so I could be dieing, it's really up to the surgeons who are operating on me.

Then my mother, Edward and Dr. Simon entered my room. Sebastian got up as the Doctor began to speak. I looked into Sebastian's eyes and pleaded him not to leave. He was the only thing keeping me sane. Him and Dakota.

"The operation has a very slim chance that Kathryn could survive. Depending on the size and exactly where it is will depend on how dangerous it will be. But either way it can cause memory loss, a coma or brain damage"

The whole time I kept looking at Sebastian for answers even though I knew he had none. Dakota then entered the room in silence holding my bag with him. I think he already knew the dangers and risks of this operation.

"It's takes quite some time to do the operation and afterwards if successful Kathryn would be closely monitored for a few weeks and if all seems to go away then she can be sent home to be in remission for it all. I need you Mrs. Merteuil-Valmont to sign these papers please" He handed my mother the papers and without a question she signed them all and walked out the door with Edward. I knew she didn't care.

"Sebastian may I speak with you please?" Dakota asked, stepping outside with Sebastian"

I heard the whispers of him and Sebastian, but once again they had resulted to talking in French and I had no idea what the fuck they were on about. After they had finished talking Dakota gave my bag to Sebastian and left.

"What was that about?" I asked Sebastian.

"He's going home"

"Why?"

"He has things to attend to"

"Okay"

Sebastian sat with me, holding my hand.

* * *

I woke up by Sebastian shaking me. The nurses were ready to prep me for surgery. Now I was scared. This was it, live or die Kathryn. Sebastian shooed the nurses out so he could talk to me in private before surgery.

"Kathryn…I…" He started.

"Sebastian you" He stopped me.

"Shut up Kathryn, I want to talk"

"Sorry"

"Kathryn I know you're going to be alright, you're not going to die because you're too much of a bitch to let the world screw you over. You can't die, not just yet"

"Thanks…I guess"

Then the nurses came in and pushed Sebastian out the door. I watched him leave. Should I have said more? Should I have been nicer? Now I was really scared, I could die on the table; this could be the last time I ever see my gorgeous step-brother's face.

I was wheeled out into the hall where I saw Sebastian and Blaine. Blaine smiled at me, stupid gay. What was there to smile about? I watched them disappear as I was wheeled behind doors that were not accessible by the public.

The room was filled with big scary machines, doctors and nurses. They talked me through a few things before placing a mask over my head (the one with the sleeping gas). I counted back from 10 and then there was nothing.

"_Kathryn oh god" Sebastian's voice broke as he crumbled to the ground._

"_Fuck Valmont I'm so sorry" Blaine tried to comfort him._

_I saw my surgeon explaining something to my mother, she looked disheartened, maybe it wasn't her? No wait it's her, there's her plastic face._

_Sebastian sat in silence on the uncomfortable chairs of the waiting room with Blaine, Blaine's hand running up and down Sebastian's back as if to try and comfort him. Something wasn't right, why was he so upset? What's gone wrong?_

"_I'm sorry Mrs. Merteuil"_

_Then my mother walked off, as if nothing had happened. Edward stayed for a few minutes, I think he was saying something to Sebastian and Blaine. Blaine and Sebastian stayed awhile, waiting for the doctor to come back._

"_Excuse me?" Blaine asked._

"_Yes sir, may I help you?" The surgeon asked._

"_Is it possible to see Kathryn Merteuil? I know she's…dead but her step-brother just wants to see her"_

_I was dead. Kathryn Merteuil dead. I.was.dead. _

"_Sure sir, come this way"_

_Blaine went over and grabbed Sebastian, Sebastian got up a bit distraught and followed the surgeon and Blaine to the operating theatre._

_There I was, on the table, I looked so…so…dead I suppose. Well you know what I mean; my body seemed so lifeless and paler then usual. I looked so horrible it even shocked me. My head was stitched up now, but even so I had a tube sticking out of my mouth still and I looked a mess._

_One look at me and Sebastian was gone. Sebastian Valmont, a homophobic asshole who I didn't even know had emotions was breaking down in tears in none other than Blaine Tuttle's arms just at the sight of my lifeless body._

"_She's gone Valmont" Blaine told him as if Sebastian didn't know._

"_No"_

_Sebastian refused to believe it._

Oh fucking Jesus Christ the fucking pain I was in right now. Wait, pain, I can feel. I'm alive; oh thank god I'm alive.

I tried to open my eyes, again and again I tried. Why couldn't I open my eyes? I can see myself, I look like I'm sleeping, my eyes are shut and I'm flat on my back with a bandage wrapped around my head and I'm hooked up to about 3 machines with a breathing machine hooked up to me aswell.

It's like I'm floating continuously. I'm not dead because I can feel the pain from the surgery.

"Why is she not awake?"

Sebastian entered my room followed by Blaine and the doctor. No surprise that my mother was not included on that list, I didn't really expect her to be. All three enter and immediately Sebastian takes a seat beside my bed whilst Blaine stands on the other side of my bed with the doctor.

"God damn it answer me! Why isn't she awake!?" He yelled at Dr. Simon.

"Please Mr. Valmont calm down. The operation had some minor complications throughout it and it became a bit of a hazard to do the operation. We did eventually finish it but as a result of the extra time we had to take Ms. Merteuil is in a coma, we don't know for how long and what the extensive damage will be until she wakes"

The doctor left my room in a hurry, probably to get out of Sebastian's way. Blaine stayed with him, standing by his side as Valmont got closer to me but never touched me.

"Do you want anything Sebastian?" Blaine asked him.

"No, just leave"

"I'm going to stay with you make sure…" Sebastian cut him off.

"Look just because Kathryn is lying here half dead doesn't mean I need someone to baby sit me okay! I'm quite capable of fucking looking after my self"

"Alright, if you need anything you know how to reach me. Later Valmont. Later Ice Bitch"

Note to self – When I wake give Blaine a really hard slap across the face for his remark about me being an Ice Bitch.

You know how in movies you always hear about doctors telling the coma patients relatives and loved ones to speak to them because they can hear them? Well it's true, I can hear every word every one says and I can feel every touch, every sting and every painful moment of my life.

He stays for a few minutes, watching me, waiting. He grabs my hand; I feel the warmth of his wrap around mine. Sebastian's mouth opens, it seems he was going to say something, but before anything could venture out he closed his mouth, shook his head and let go of my hand.

Speak Sebastian, talk to me.

"I'm sorry Kathryn" Is all he says to me before leaving.

Once he's gone I can feel the coldness of the air around me. It's quite a freezing night. I don't feel tired, I don't know if I will. There is too much going on in my head to sleep. If I sleep now will I ever wake? In case that could happen I think I'll just stay awake.

"_Kathryn you are to be on your best behaviour young lady, I don't want you gallivanting off and getting dirty or misbehaving. Mr. Valmont is very important to me and if you don't behave I'll just have to send you to boarding school"_

"_Yes mother"_

_I stepped out of the limo in my pale pink summer dress. It was a gorgeous summer's day, the sun was brightly shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. I turned my head up towards the sky; buildings sky rocketed up for what seemed to be forever but in reality wasn't at all that close to forever._

_The city of New York, it wasn't exactly what I would call the cleanest place on Earth, but it certainly was one of my favourites of all the places of visited and that included all the exotic places I've been too. Just something about New York and its people amazed me._

"_Tiffany, you're here"_

"_Good afternoon Edward"_

_My mother pinched my arm and pushed me slightly forward, I smiled one of those smiles my mother always made sure I gave people. Edward seemed to like it, he also seemed to like staring at my mother's chest._

"_Edward this is Kathryn my 10 year old daughter"_

"_Well Kathryn, it's very nice to meet you, I'm Edward"_

"_It's nice to meet you too sir"_

_He shook my hand politely like most men do when they meet me. _

"_I have a son about your age, in fact when is your birthday Kathryn?" He asked me as if it was any of his business._

"_I turned 10 yesterday"_

"_Well happy birthday for yesterday. My son, Sebastian was 10 6 months ago"_

_Like it was meant to be on cue a clean, handsome, tall blonde haired, blue eyed boy walked around the corner with another two very gorgeous boys with him. Okay so I was only 10, but I was allowed to drool over boys._

_The boy and his followers ignored the fact that there was company in the house and kept playing there game; I'm not exactly sure what they were playing. It seemed they were looking for something, I don't think someone, but I definitely think something._

"_As a matter of fact here he is now. Sebastian come here a minute son"_

* * *

It's been a few days since my operation now; I think 4, maybe 5. I really hate my life as a vegetable; I can't ruin people's lives, dictate Sebastian or play with my boy toys.

Sebastian hasn't been back since after my operation that day. I have seen him wander past the door, stop, look in and then walk away. Stupid jerk didn't he know how much I need him right now?

Then the door opened, I watch the person step in. But it's not Sebastian, its Dakota. He must have finished his business and came back to see me, I guess he was surprised when he heard I was in a coma.

"Oh Kathryn, what have they done?" He says it to me like I'm actually there; it's nice to hear someone speak to me.

He waited awhile then picked up my hand, gently stroking my palm with his thumb. I could feel it, I could feel his skin brush mine and when he squeezed my hand before letting it go, I could feel everything. I wonder if he knew.

"Sweet Kathryn, where is my brother this afternoon?"

Not here obviously. The asshole hasn't been back to see me not once. I knew he never really cared, after all he did choose that country bumpkin over me.

Dakota got up and brushed my hair from my face, which was good as it was starting to tickle my nose, stupid nurses. He kissed my forehead, the softness of his lips meeting with my forehead just for the briefest of moments.

He pulled up my blankets to cover more of my body. "Are you comfortable?" He asked me, his French-American accent sounding so hot.

His right hand approached my face and he started to stroke my cheek lovingly like it hurt. It started to make me tired, but I couldn't exactly stop him even if I wanted to. I watch myself with half closed eyes as he keeps stroking my face, bye Dakota.

"_Kathryn Merteuil, this is Sebastian Valmont, my son" Edward told me._

_The boy, who I know knew was called Sebastian gave me a once over, if he was impressed he didn't show it because his expression never changed even when I extended my hand to shake his, he didn't take my hand though, he brushed it aside and ran back off to his friend. Rude little boy, didn't his father ever teach him manners?_

_After awhile my mother was drinking vodka with Edward, my chance to go off and explore this very beautiful city had arrived. I snuck away from the room I was in, which wasn't hard as my mother was basically having sex with Edward on the couch in front of me, completely ignoring my presence._

_I walked out into the front garden to find one of Sebastian's followers to approach me. He came right up to me, picking a flower from a bush and giving it to me with a huge smile on his face. I must say I was flattered at first._

"_Hi, I'm Timothy"_

"_Kathryn" I told him, extending my hand politely to let him shake it. But Timothy kissed my hand instead, passing the rose to me and kissing my cheek after he had greeted me._

"_TIMOTHY! TIMOTHY!" A voice called._

_It was Sebastian and his other follower. I walked down the front steps and onto the spongy grass with my new shoes. _

"_What are you doing with her?" Sebastian asked Timothy._

"_What do you mean with her? She's hot man" Timothy told Sebastian, nudging him._

_I smiled in agreement, of course I already knew I was hot, it was what I had been told since the day I was born basically, I've kind of gotten used to it now._

"_As hot as my Aunt Helen" Sebastian retorted, like he was disgusted._

"_You're very rude you know" I told him, crossing my arms across my chest._

If I was physically able to jump I would have. Something or rather someone brushed by my arm and suddenly I could feel someone watching me. The room was dark and it was probably late at night, but when my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see the outline of my body lying still on the bed and none other then Annette Hargrove.

What was the prissy virgin bitch doing here? I certainly didn't want her pity, especially not after she fucked my boyfriend and reduced me to tears.

Annette sat on the chair and played with her plain purple skirt nervously I suppose. Her head turned up and her mouth opened, but quickly shut again. She kept playing with her skirt and opened and closed her mouth without saying anything to me a few more times before actually speaking to me.

"I'm sorry Kathryn"

Excuse me?

"I'm sorry for taking Sebastian away from you, I'm sorry for ruining you and I'm sorry for taking Adam from you. God, I feel so bad, here you are laying half dead in hospital after I had wished you would get what you deserved. Somehow I feel like this is my fault"

What? She wished I was laying half dead in hospital. I am going to get that two faced bumpkin a piece of my mind when I wake. Wishing I was dead, god what did I ever do to her?

"Sebastian really did love you…he didn't love me, he was interested and he loved my company, but I was nothing more then that. Every time we made love he would look in to my eyes but I knew he was wishing it was you"

Annette got up and pursed her lips, picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. She de-creased her clothing and fixed her hair, patting it down to make it straight again. "Get better Kathryn, Sebastian's a mess without you" Then she left.

What did she mean Sebastian was a mess? The boy seemed fine the other day. Maybe he should come fucking visit me, I've had Annette and Dakota visit me but not my step-brother, the one who claims to love me.

My hospital room had been somewhat busy that day, because not much longer after miss purity had left Tuttle came to visit me. He walked in and set a fresh bunch of lilies on my bedside table, taking the old ones and chucking them in the bin by the door.

"How are you tonight princess? Still breathing?"

What a horrible thing to say to someone in my state, yes I was still breathing but did he ever stop to think that maybe at this very moment I could die? Such a horrible thing to say.

He kept talking to me, like I was responding to every word he was saying. My heart stopped when he started talking about Sebastian.

"Even if you wake up now Kat you'll be too late"

Too late for what?"

"Valmont left about half an hour ago"

What?

"He left this letter" Blaine pulled out an envelope from his coat pocket. "He told me to give it to you when you wake if he's not back, but I suppose I can read it to you now"

He ripped open the envelope and pulled out the neatly folded, clean crisp paper. Straight away I recognized the messy handwriting on the paper as I watched Blaine scan over it. He stood up and then sat at the end of my bed, whilst my body lie still.

"Dear Kathryn,

If you're reading this I suppose you have awoken from your coma and I'm not there. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for when you open your pretty little eyes and wreak havoc on the world once more, but I have left for school.

I thought it was about time to start my photography course, so I left New York and am attending school for about 3 years all together.

When you're finished reading this please give me a call to let me know, as I'm sure my alcoholic father and your gold digging mother wouldn't even bother, you have my cell and if I do happen to have a new number I'll be sure to pass it on to our gay friend.

I hope you're well now and I hope that it hasn't affected your memory, because when I come back I expect you to be the same cold hearted bitch you always were.

Yours sincerely,

Sebastian."

Blaine read it out as if it was some kind of love letter, but the gay should know better, as if Sebastian would write me a love letter, as if Sebastian would write anyone a love letter.

"Oh princess, wake up and bring Valmont back"

He stroked my face and left the letter on my bedside table, open and revealed for anyone to see. Dumb ass, what if the virgin came in and saw it? Maybe she'd go running after him for another go at him and you know what the stupid bastard probably would have a crack at her too.

"_And you're a uptight snob" Sebastian told me._

_I slapped Sebastian hard, my first touching in counter with him. His cheek glowed red for a few seconds and you could just make out my small hand print on his otherwise flawless face. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from his friends and around the corner into a secluded part of outside where we were hidden from the viewing of other people._

"_Listen here princess, maybe you're used to getting what ever you want and being treated like royalty from where every you came from but I don't follow orders and I do what ever the fuck I please"_

_His grip tightened on my tiny arm and I must say it did start to hurt a little, I winced and kicked him in the shin. He let go for a few seconds and I tried to escape, but he held me again and pushed me against the wall of the house._

"_Let me go or I'll scream"_

"_Go ahead" He challenged me._

_So I screamed, only for a few seconds before Sebastian covered my mouth with his hand and I immediately stopped. _

"_Oh for fucks sake just stop"_

"_Make me" I managed to get out when he moved his hand away._

_I started to scream again, but again not for too long before Sebastian stopped me, this time not with his hand. He quickly moved in and kissed me on my mouth, the warmness of his mouth on mine soothing me and I finally went along with the kiss, my first kiss._

_His tongue slid into my mouth and I squirmed under his grip on me when it touched mine. He finally stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes with this cocky look that I would never forget._

"_I made you"_

"_You're such…such…" I said in anger_

"_A good kisser?"_

"_No!"_

_I walked off until I was by myself, I ran my finger over my lips, I could feel the softness from his lips that were previously on mine, the exact feel and the exact moment his tongue slid into my mouth. My first kiss was amazing._

* * *

**A/N: Not really much to say.**

**But please review and tell me what you thought, it would be much appreciated.**


	8. Huit

_You never would take no for an answer,_

_Smile like cancer._

_I'm always there for you now,_

_You'll only ever take what's mine._

Sometimes Forever Means Never – Behind Crimson Eyes

* * *

Day in and day out for 2 years I have sat here and watched my life fade away, people coming in and out to bring me flowers or to tell me that I would get better even though they were hoping I wouldn't.

I would watch as Blaine would smile at me and tell me about his gay experiences as I lay completely still because I was not able to move, I watched my body and imagined it squirming because of his ranting about is weekly fuck going crazy after they had done it.

The nurses would come in and check my vital signs and crap like that, bring in fresh flowers that someone had delivered and tell me who it was from, even though I couldn't give a flying fuck about the person half time as it was usually a socialite friend of my mother's just doing it out of sheer politeness.

Then every now and then I would get a visitor that I wouldn't expect, someone like the virgin. The past few years have included the virgin, Cecile Caldwell, Mrs Caldwell, Greg, a few socialite friends of my mothers and god even my mother herself once, but I think she was on drugs.

But not today, nope today would be different. Today would bring new light to me and new light to the world. Hell today even could be remembered as a fucking public holiday and marked on fucking calendars that it was going to be that much of a fucking miracle.

Today was the day Kathryn Merteuil, yes I, Kathryn would wake up from my oh to long slumber and fuck the world once again.

"Hey Kat" Blaine said as he entered my room, another day of Blaine.

He stopped at my bed and kissed both my cheeks, he had been away, and gone to France I think with Dakota. I could tell by his fresh new tan and that glow look he always got. Fuck he better not have done anything with Dakota or I'd kill him.

"A new letter from Valmont him self arrived today, you want me to read it?" He said, bringing it out of his pocket and flashing it around as if I was actually awake. But if I was I would have said yes. "Well I'm going to read it to you whether you want me to or not, so get comfortable princess" Blaine laughed at his lame joke.

He sat down on the chair and scanned the letter; by the looks of his facial expression he was very surprised, shocked or interested. I think it was interested and shocked.

"Dear Katie,

I haven't heard from you, so I'm assuming that you have not waken up yet, either that or Blaine the stupid queer never gave you my letter and no one has the courtesy to tell me that my own sister has awoken from her coma.

Anyway, how are you doing? I guess that's quite a stupid question as your probably still unconscious and can't answer me, and even if you could I'm quite positive your answer would be shit, as it most always is.

I am fine, thank you for asking. I have completed my photography course now, well actually I finished it a few weeks ago, I am coming back to New York in a week, I'll come visit you don't worry, I can't forget about my Katie.

Sorry, I know you don't like it when I call you that, but it's seriously too cute to not call you that, especially when you can't do anything to stop me or anything to punish me for it. I must admit that having you unconscious and basically a vegetable has its advantages. I don't have to be quick to miss a vase or two that had been thrown at my head and I don't have to listen to your moaning anymore.

I do miss you though, I whole heap, and I can't say I don't think about you, because you are in my thoughts every day. Call me pathetic and a loser and anything else you'd like but god not having you around can get pretty boring especially when…well let's just spare us both the sex details shall we?

It's pretty boring here where I am currently situated, there aren't beautiful New York blondes to fuck, many more people around here have brains and know my wits, I got a lot when I came here, but then it started to get less and less and now it's down to like one woman now, I know amazing.

Which reminds me to tell you that I have a girlfriend, I know what your thinking but just shut up. I'm not in love and I certainly wouldn't say I'm head over heels for the girl, it's not like it was with Annette. But Isabelle (her name) just gets me like no one but you has. I guess since I've been away she's kind of given me my dose of Kathryn.

Sorry again, I know you don't like it, actually hate it when I compare you to anyone. But Isabelle just reminds be so much of you, her hair is darker though and her green eyes are probably a shade lighter.

She is my Kathryn fix that I have been missing, minus the bitchy, jealous step-sister part that no one will ever come close to comparing to because well that's you.

Sparing you the rest of my boring life details I'm going to end there and hope that you aren't awake and that is the reason you have not contacted me or replied yet.

Sincerely

Sebastian."

How can he even compare me to someone? No one and I mean absolutely no one compares to me!

"Well sweetheart seems you have some competition"

Blaine left and slumber took over my sub normal body after my anger fit.

"_No, how could you say that?" One of my friends was saying to another one of my friends._

_I was at the Hamptons in a lush hotel room with two of my friends, my mother had let me invite them as she would be out drinking most of the night and getting screwed so I would need something to occupy me so I didn't go wandering I suppose._

"_You guys are such idiots, stop ogling out the window at the boys out there, for god sakes your only 13" I told them, flipping through a teen magazine, whilst sitting on the floor._

_My friends, Rachel and Gabby were staring out the window at from what I could make out two 'really' hot guys. _

"_No Kathryn, you don't understand these two boys are hot" Rachel told me, looking back and nodding._

"_Even if they were they are probably like 18 anyway" I said, still flipping pages._

"_She's right Rach, they are probably way too old for us, like of course they are, or else they wouldn't be down there at that party"_

_I rolled my eyes at them, stupid girls._

"_Kathrynnnn just come and take a look they are major hotties!" Rachel pleaded me._

"_Fine!" I yelled throwing down my book once getting up and making my way over to the window._

_I looked down at the party, many nicely dressed adults were down there gossiping and drinking and what ever else they amuse them selves with. Gabby pointed down and showed me the two boys. I focused my eyes on the two boys._

"_Oh my god" I said._

"_I know there are major hotties!" Rachel said, smiling._

"_No, not that. I know them" _

"_Introduce us Kathryn! Please! I'll be your friend forever!!!"_

"_No, no way, not him"_

_I walked away from the window and folded my arms._

"_Come on Kathryn! Look they are heading inside, probably up the elevator, quick we can catch them there!" _

_Rachel ran off out the door with Gabby following behind and I guess I had no other choice but to hurry after them. God what was I doing. Sebastian Valmont was an asshole and I hated him from the very first moment I met him._

* * *

Awake once again, watching my body sleep. This was a usual routine for me, for some reason I liked watching myself sleep, it was interesting to watch me, now I know why Sebastian liked it so much. I looked different when sleeping, like an angel or like I was pure, which we all know I am far from. But when I sleep you can compare me to Annette, because I look every bit as pure as her.

I look down to the floor from my position floating in the air, it was dirty. I heard a noise and immediately thought someone was here to see me. But no I was wrong.

My body suddenly started moving, no not the type of movement of getting out of bed, but I slightly stirred and then my hand reached my head and I made an awful groan that I had only ever heard myself make once when I drank too much.

I'm awake, oh yes. I can feel myself fading back into my body now, it's a weird feeling. I don't know if I'll remember anything, but I hope so.

* * *

"Oh fucking Jesus fucking Christ" I said as I clutched my head.

Just then a nurse came in and called a doctor, she got another nurse and immediately they tried calming me down. But seriously how calm would you be if you woke up and had no idea where you were and what you were doing there?

"Kathryn its okay" A doctor said as he entered.

"You're in the hospital, you had surgery on your brain and you were in a coma but you're okay just stay calm"

I stayed still while he poked and prodded at me; checking things that usual get checked. After he was finished, I was going to get up but he ordered me to stay in my room.

"I need to call someone" I said.

"Okay here use this phone here" He walked out.

I dialled the number on the phone beside my bed and put it to my ear, waiting for the ringing and for the person on the other end to pick up. But it didn't ring and no one answered.

"Sorry your call could not be connected" Said the operator on the other end.

I was confused, why wasn't Rachel's phone connected?

_Rachel, Gabby and I hurried into the elevator, we pressed for the ground floor and waited for it to take us there. Gabby and Rachel wore big smiles on their faces, I don't really know what they were excited about Sebastian would disappoint them._

_Sure enough none other than Sebastian and his friend who I remember was called Timothy were down there and waiting for an elevator. One look at me and I knew he remembered me, I sure remembered him and those pouty full lips he possessed._

"_Kathryn Merteuil" He spoke my name like it was poison._

"_Sebastian Valmont" I retorted in disgust._

_I got out the elevator and so did Gabby and Rachel, who were all but bursting at their sides upon seeing both handsome boys. Rachel elbowed me and grinned, right I was forgetting the reason we were down here. To introduce my friends to him and Timothy._

"_Sebastian and Timothy, this is Gabby and Rachel my friends"_

"_It's pleasant to meet you both" Sebastian said, kissing both my friend's hands and giving them a smile which disgusted me._

"_Oh my god" Gabby whispered to me._

_Timothy and Gabby started talking and Rachel talked to Sebastian, I stood back and then rolled my eyes. "I'm going" I said, walking tot eh elevator and pressing the up button._

"_Why don't you come back to our room, Tim and I have our own room"_

"_No thanks" I said, waiting for my elevator._

"_Oh but Kathryn!" Rachel pleaded._

"_You can go Rach, but I'll let hell freeze over before I go anywhere with him" _

"_Oh c'mon Kathryn, you know you want to" He said, winking at me._

_My elevator arrived and the doors opened. Before I could get in Rachel, Gabby and Timothy got in and he pressed the button before Sebastian and I could get in, I swear I saw Sebastian wink at him before the doors closed._

"_Great I have to ride an elevator with you" I said._

"_Babe you'll be riding me not the elevator"_

"_Oh please, can your pick up lines get any worse?" _

* * *

"Kathryn, oh my god Kathryn" Someone basically yelled as they entered my room.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Kat, it's me"

"My name is Kathryn and I don't know who the fuck you are so if you don't mind kindly fucking off"

"Oh ha ha princess, stop trying to fool me"

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are but I am Kathryn and I don't appreciate you coming in here calling me pet names when I don't know who you are!"

"Katie its Blaine, you know me, Tuttle"

"No I don't know you, now be gone"

He walked out; he looked generally offended, my like hello? I am Kathryn and I didn't know who the fuck he was but he certainly wasn't one of my friends.

Later on I was still trying to dial Rach's number, still the phone would not connect my call and now I was pissed off, where the hell was my mother!? Why the hell was I in New York?

Another person walked in my room that day, I didn't look up immediately, I wasn't really in the mood for anyone right now and the only person who I could think of being here would be my mother and I couldn't get a hold of her so I don't think it was her.

"Kathryn"

That tone, I knew that from somewhere, god where had I heard that from. The certain arrogance and cockiness, then I looked up. I would know those blue eyes from a million miles away and that curly blonde hair, oh yes Sebastian Valmont.

"Sebastian Valmont"

"I'm so glad you're awake sis"

"What?"

As soon as the doctor had left Sebastian dropped what seemed to be an act and sat beside my bed crossing his legs and giving me this look of…well I don't exactly know what. He had black thin glasses upon his face, last time I saw him he didn't have glasses, and where was his buddy?

"I'm sorry Kat that I went away, I suppose you don't know, but I left for my studies"

"Sebastian what are you on about?"

"The letter?"

He took the papers from my bedside table and showed them to me, I quickly scanned over one of them. His messy writing was hard to read and quite intellectual all at the same time, which was weird.

"I don't know what this is about"

"God Kathryn stop being a bitch for one second and just act normal!"

"How dare you Sebastian, I am not a bitch!"

"You're not a bitch and I'm not a playboy right?"

Just then a doctor came in and took Sebastian from my room, I watched as the doctor told Sebastian something, seriously Sebastian's face was hysterical, he looked like he had been crushed by a bulldozer, it was so funny.

He came in again, this time with a girl following him. A girl with dark hair and piercing green eyes much like my own, she was attached to his arm on one side.

"I'm sorry Kathryn"

"I know you've told me! I still don't understand what you of all fucking people is doing here!?"

"I didn't know, you've suffered brain damage and they said they part of your memory has gone and it may not come back"

"I…what?"

"Kathryn tell me where you live?" He asked me, so seriously.

"I live in London with my mother"

"What do you last remember?"

"I remember…seeing…seeing you with your father, yes with your father and my mother was there and timothy and Rachel"

"God Kat, that was like quite a few years ago"

"What? I don't get it?"

"You live in New York now, your mother and my father are married, we are step-brother and sister. You and I get along and we live in a large town house, you're a recovered coke addict and your best friend is Blaine Tuttle"

"What about Rachel and Gabby?"

"Kathryn, Rachel, Gabby and Timothy…" He paused. "They got really drunk on your 14th birthday and stole a car and smashed it, they all died in the crash"

The girl who was currently by his side, whispered something in his ear and got out her phone which was buzzing madly in her hands. She left the room and he continued to tell me about the past and everything that I had missed out on or just don't remember.

"Where were we?"

He got a cunning smirk on his face as he remembered back to that awful day. "I do believe we were making out, and fondling each other in my bedroom that evening"

"No…I would never…not with…no"

"Oh babe we've done a lot more in recent times"

"But I'm your…we are related now"

He leant over and kissed my cheek softly. "Only by law baby"

"Don't call me baby"

He waved to me and left my room. I was having an awful day.

_I followed Sebastian into the next elevator that arrived, hoping that someone would come along and so me and him were not alone, unfortunately for me I was not so lucky and no one came, so I got in the elevator with Sebastian._

"_Looks like it's just me and you" He said._

"_Geez obvious much?"_

_I pressed the button to my floor and stood in one corner, staying as far away as possible from him. When we were two floors away from mine he hit the emergency stop button._

"_What the hell are you doing!?"_

"_Stopping"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I want too"_

"_Someone is going to notice and we're going to get in trouble"_

"_No we won't"_

_He got closer to me, I could smell him, he smelt of something rich and sexy. His pouty lips parted just a bit, enough for me to almost drool over him, yes almost. _

"_Get away from me Sebastian" I whispered as he got a little too close._

"_No" He whispered back, cornering me._

_His lips hovered over mine as he towered before me, his body pressing softly against mine. _

"_I mean it" I whispered, trying to make him move away._

"_I know"_

_I didn't say another word; I was sucked in by him as his lips covered mine. A hand grabbed at my waist and another at my neck, pulling me closer and closer with each sound and movement, his tongue wrestled with mine, yes Sebastian still was the best kisser ever._

"_Sebastian" I groaned to him when his lips moved to my neck._

_I could tell this boy had had a lot of experience because he was not shy at the way he was seducing me. He knew exactly what he was doing and what I would like._

* * *

**A/N: Currently on holidays with my cousin, so I just finished this whilst she was being a camera whore. **

**I may write another chapter soon so don't be surprised if I update it twice and add two new chapters.**

**Reviews please. **


	9. Neuf

_Look what you've done to yourself  
Yeah you've lost the will to do what's right again  
Look what you've done to yourself  
Hunger to discover that you're not here_

Okay, Time for Plan B – Enter Shikari

* * *

I was putting things into bags from my hospital room, today I was being discharged as apparently I have fully recovered apart from some memory loss that may or may not come back, I don't know how you can call that being fully recovered.

I sat on what was my hospital bed and waited patiently for my mother, well I think my mother. The doctors had told my family I was coming home, so I just guessed that it would be my mother coming to collect me.

I was surprised to some degree to see Sebastian open my door and not my mother, then again I should have known, even though I have memory loss my mother probably hasn't changed and she's probably the same cold hearted person she was many years ago, I'll never be like her.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"Where's my mother?"

"Well, my best guess would be she's at the plastic surgeon making herself look more horrible, either that or she's getting drunk in another country"

"Right…"

"Come on" He hurried me.

I picked my sort of light bag, only to realize that it was heavier then I had suspected and I found it incredibly hard to lift it. "Will you carry my bag please?" I asked him, stopping and waiting.

"Excuse me?"

"My bag, it's too heavy"

"Not that…you said _please_. You never say please unless your trying to manipulate me"

"I wouldn't do such a thing; I'm not like my mother"

"No your worse" He muttered.

Was it true? Had I become an equal or clone of my mother? I couldn't really imagine me manipulating people, I mean sure, I can be a bitch and I'm a snobby rich girl but I would never manipulate someone like my mother manipulated my father and everyone around us.

I got into his car, a 1956 black jag. It was a nice car and in very good condition for something of it's age. I sat in the seat and he drove off. When we were on the road my curiosity got the best of me.

"Why did you say I'm worse?"

"What?"

"You said I'm worse then my mother, is it true?"

He didn't answer me, was he avoiding my question?

"Answer me" I pleaded.

We stopped at a large townhouse and he got out and picked up my bag. So this was my house? It was magnificent, just what somebody like me needed, much bigger then my old house and in New York, was it the same Valmont townhouse from last time?

"Sebastian answer me!" I yelled.

"Fine! Okay Kathryn, you are worse than your mother! You're a manipulative whore who thrives on destroying people's lives and mine. You manipulated me into giving up the one other person I ever loved. You drink, you cheat, you lie, and you do whatever it takes to get you to the top" He angrily yelled at me, and then lowering his voice towards me he whispered. "Yet I still loved you and I don't know why"

I didn't know what to say. I mean what was I supposed to say? I didn't know any of this about me or him, so after I stood there in silence he dropped my bag for a maid to pick up and walked off.

* * *

Mai-Lee had shown me my room and put my clothes away and I was now settled in with nothing to do. I couldn't really go out because I had no idea where anything was and if I ran into somebody I had previously known, well I don't know what would happen.

I walked outside my room to hear footsteps coming from the staircase; I looked over and found a very handsome man smiling at me. I looked behind me, wondering if he really was smiling at me or if he was looking towards someone behind me.

"Kathryn" He spoke to me.

"I'm sorry; I'm not quite sure who you are"

"I know, my name is Adam I was your boyfriend"

He came up closer to me and we started to talk, Adam made me laugh and smile, something that felt good after all my recent news and bad comings.

"I missed you Kathryn"

"I would like to say the same"

"It's alright"

Just then Sebastian came out of the room across from mine with the girl who had visited me with Sebastian. He freaked when he saw the guy standing next to me and I don't really know why, Adam seemed nice and he seemed to like me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" He yelled at Adam.

"I came to see Kathryn"

"She doesn't want to see you!" He yelled again.

"Sebastian" The girl hushed him.

"No, Isabelle, stay out of this"

"What is your problem Sebastian?" I asked him politely.

"Him"

"Why?"

"Just because Kathryn, fuck off Adam and don't come back"

Adam cowered away and quickly headed down the stairs, geez thanks Valmont, fuck you.

I walked off to my bedroom in a huff.

_Sebastian's body moved with my mine in sequence, he slammed me against another wall and I hit my head._

"_Ouch, fuck Sebastian"_

_He kissed down my neck again. How could I be angry at someone so good at this? It soothed what headache was approaching my hitting my head and a warm feeling took over my body._

_His hand caressed my inner thigh, reaching up under my dress._

"_Don't" I said to him._

"_Please" He whispered like he was whispering something dirty._

"_No" I said back, yet his hand still wandered up._

_My hand moved from his neck to his waist as I tried to grip on to him, his hand stopped and moved down from my leg, he respected what I didn't want and went now further with me._

"_Oh fucking hell Kathryn" He said as he grinded against me._

_It took me everything I had not to moan out to him or tell him to fuck me._

_Sebastian grabbed my hand and moved it over the bulge in his pants, I left it there, not sure of what to do, after all I had never been further then a kiss with someone, let alone touched someone's private area._

"_Please Kathryn" He pleaded so sexily._

"_I…I've never, I mean shouldn't…"_

_He moved back from me and a laugh over took his face. "You've never done anything besides a kiss have you?" He laughed, I hated people laughing at me._

* * *

"Kathryn would you like more to eat?" Edward asked me as we sat down at the dinner table.

My mother gulped down what was her 4th glass of wine that night, she wasn't talking much and chose to only indulge in the conversation when it was directed at me and even then it wasn't much, it was a form of insult at me.

"Yes Kathryn, eat more, get fatter" My mother told me.

I pushed my plate away. Yes, my mother had always been this mean to me, even after memory loss I still knew my mother and I knew that she would never change.

"No I'm done thank you" I told everyone, placing down my napkin.

Sebastian sat directly across from me with Isabelle; he never broke his gaze on me even when Isabelle was talking to him.

"Sebastian aren't you glad to have your step-sister back?" Edward asked him.

"Yes, I'm sure we can get re-acquainted"

"How long have you and Isabelle been dating?" I asked him.

"3-4 months"

"Oh Sebastian, don't be silly, it's been almost 9 months now"

"Oh right" He said and continued eating.

A few hours later once dinner was over with, Isabelle was talking with Sebastian outside as she was leaving. I walked into his room freely and looked out on to the street below from his balcony; this seemed so familiar and right.

"Goodnight" He kissed her cheek.

"Sebastian…" She paused; I listened carefully, trying to make-out what they were saying. "I love you" She spoke.

"I love you too"

Didn't his letter say he didn't love her? I remembered reading over it after I was discharged, who was Annette too?

I turned around and went to hurry out before he caught me in his bedroom, as I was making my way to the door I stumbled over something and crashed to the floor, hitting my head on something and feeling slightly dizzy. "Fuck" I muttered, rubbing my head, then noticing that my hand was now covered in blood and so was Sebastian's floor.

My gaze grew weary, I looked out to the door and tried to crawl towards it, but my legs and brain weren't functioning as they should and I didn't move. Sebastian then came in and noticed me on the floor.

"Kathryn!" He screamed.

I was losing consciousness, he picked me up with ease and the last thing I saw was his face over mine.

"_Stop laughing at once" I demanded angrily._

"_You're still a virgin aren't you?"_

"_Shut up Sebastian! I'm not like you! I don't go sleeping around with everyone I meet! I don't seduce people!"_

_He pressed the button to get us moving again and the elevator moved up a few floors._

"_I don't do that!" He yelled back._

"_No but trying to fuck me in an elevator isn't trying to seduce me!" I yelled back just as the elevator opened._

_I ran out and to my room, swiping my card. It let me in and Sebastian followed me, we were soon stopped in our tracks by a very disturbing and disgusting site, our parents screwing._

"_Ew" I said, running out, with him behind me._

* * *

I woke up with a really bad headache in a very familiar place, the hospital. I wearily opened my eyes and looked to my left where I found a very scruffy and messy Sebastian.

"Sebastian?" I questioned.

"Oh Kat, your awake. Nurse! Nurse! Can we have a nurse in here!" He yelled out.

"I'm fine, I don't need a nurse"

"No your not"

A nurse came in and called for a doctor, I glared at Sebastian. I was fine, I didn't need a doctor or a nurse or anyone to come look at me! I was fine! That was until the doctor came in and re-opened the stitches in my head from my fall.

"Fucking…ouch…ow…fuck…!" I screamed as blood poured out.

"Do something!" Sebastian yelled at the nurses and doctors.

Sure enough they did, they re-stitched my gash and I was to stay in hospital another night, just to make sure everything was fine.

"You can go home you know" I told Sebastian as he sat there silently, staring at a wall.

"I know"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I care for you"

"Hmm"

Our silence was interrupted by a very loud ring coming from his jacket pocket. "Excuse me" He said as he got up and left the room to take his call.

"Hey baby…I'm so-…no…she fell what did y-…oh fuck…I complet-…how can I…no she needs to sta-…I told you I'm…I lov-" He talked, looking frustrated and angry.

"Who was that?"

"Isabelle"

"Oh"

"Jealous Kathryn?" It's not a good colour on you"

"Sebastian I'm not jealous, I just thought that when two people were in love they didn't yell and scream at each other"

"I'm not in love"

"Then why do you say it to her?"

"Because she…I don't want to hurt her feelings"

"Don't you think lying about loving her is going to hurt her more?"

"Maybe I'll love her one day"

"Maybe?"

"Yes maybe, now rest Kathryn"

I layed my head back and stared up at the ceiling whilst Sebastian stared at the wall. There was something about him, he seemed broken a bit, like someone had hurt him really badly and it couldn't be fixed.

_I followed Sebastian up the long corridor to another door, his room. Should I enter? Should I not? I'll enter, I have no place to go, Rachel and Gabby seemed to have disappeared with Timothy and frankly right now they're the last people I would have wanted hearing about this._

_He sat on couch next to the edge and lit a cigarette, I loved the way Sebastian seemed more sophisticated then most 13 year old boys or girls for that matter. He had always seemed wiser and he acted a lot more mature then most adults most of the time._

"_Here" He said, passing me the cigarette._

_I took the poisoned stick into my mouth and took a long drag, it burned my lungs and my eyes watered. I coughed, again, again and again._

"_You'll get use to it" He told me, finishing off the cigarette and butting it on the ashtray beside the couch._

_I cuddled closer to him, the images of my mother and Edward replayed in my head every time my brain thought, but how could I not think? Again I moved closer resting my head in the hollow of his neck, it fit like a puzzle piece._

_His arm automatically went around me without a thought; his thumb caressed my shoulder lightly, making small circles on my smooth skin._

"_I'm sorry"_

"_Me too"_

_I closed my eyes; body on body, Edward and my mother, moaning, groaning, screaming, yelling, thrust after thrust and sweat dripping from their older and more developed bodies, I winced, take me away Sebastian, take me from my own thoughts, hide me and take me to a better place._

* * *

"Kathryn dear" Blaine called from my bathroom.

"Yes?"

He turned around to me and smiled, pulling out a crucifix necklace, I looked at it, I wasn't religious and I think Blaine knew that, why was he giving me a crucifix? Like fuck, seriously, if he thinks he can turn me to god and crap, he's got another thing coming.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Your crucifix"

"Mine?"

"Yes, but look silly" He opened it and pulled out a small spoon mounted with fine white powder, better known as coke, or from what I can tell it was coke. "Here princess"

"I don't…I've never"

"Oh sweetheart, you used to be my best customer"

"Well then…I guess I've reformed"

He sighed, obviously disappointed that I would not go back to the old me. I didn't want to be my mother anymore, I didn't want to fuck with people's heads and manipulate my way through to the top, I wanted to be me.

"Come on Princess please?"

"No"

My cell phone rang, frankly I was quite annoyed. "Hello?" I answered.

"Kathryn its Adam"

"Oh hey" I smiled to myself.

"I was just wondering if we could meet up tonight."

"Um yeah, I don't have anything on, so yer I suppose"

"Great! How about I take you out to dinner?"

"Sure" I said.

"I'll pick you up in say 2 hours? At 8.00pm?"

"Yeah okay, see you then"

I hung up my cell phone and put it on my vanity where Blaine was still obsessing over himself in my mirror. He picked at his eyebrows and furrowed at a pimple coming up on his otherwise very prefect facial skin.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"Adam, he's taking me out to dinner"

"Kat…I don't think that's such a good idea"

"Shut up Blaine"

"Fine, do what you want"

"I will, now if you excuse me I have to get ready" I said, pushing him out of my bathroom so I could take a long and much needed bath.

Once I heard my bedroom door shut I ran a bath and undressed myself, the water steamed as it settled before I dipped my fingers in to check the temperature. Perfect, just the right temperature. I got in and sank down resting my head on the edge of my antique bath tub.

I spotted the crucifix looking awfully lonely on my vanity and picked it up, what was it like to me be drugged up? I guess you would get some sort of high from taking it, so really what could the harm be?

I opened it and a spoon mounted with the precious white powder came out, I studied it for awhile, as if I'd never seen it before, truth be told when I turned 12 I had a huge party and some of my older friends wanted me to try it, but I didn't, I was a good little girl.

"What harm can it do?" I said to myself.

I sniffed the fine powder and rubbed my nose, it made my eyes water. Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle. Surprisingly it wasn't too bad, so I took more, three more hits to be exact, of course I didn't know what the effect would be.

I checked the time, Adam was going to be here soon. I got out of my bath and dressed myself, applying make-up and doing my hair.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I heard Sebastian say to someone very close to my door, my first guess was that Adam was here.

"I'm taking Kathryn to dinner"

"Like hell you are"

"Sebastian just stay out of it, it's not your business, I think Kathryn is old enough to date whoever she wants" I heard Isabelle defend me.

That was when I stepped outside my bedroom door. "Adam!" I screamed in excitement, lunging at him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Hey Kat"

I started to kiss his neck, as if I was kissing his mouth, in fact I could have sworn it was his mouth at first. I kept kissing, sucking and nibbling it attentively not caring that both Sebastian and Isabelle were gaping at us.

"Why don't we skip dinner and just fuckkkkk" I said, exaggerating the 'k'.

"What?"

"You heard me, I want to screw you"

Sebastian groaned like he was sick and tired of this already; I looked over and saw Isabelle pull his arm towards the stairs, but Sebastian refused to move and his feet kept planted on the hardwood floor of the hall as Adam openly groped at my body.

"Kathryn I think maybe you should give it a miss tonight" Sebastian told me, grabbing a hold of my arm.

"Go away Sebastian, you go have fun with Miss what's-her-face"

"She's right Sebastian, c'mon she'll be fine" Isabelle pleaded.

She seemed awfully dressed up for some reason, her body was covered in a lavish yellow silk dress and her hair was done up so elegantly, the dress covered most of her slim long legs, but even so she still looked absolutely stunning.

I pulled Adam closer to my door and kissed him, he backed me into the wall and pushed me hard up against it.

"Oh fucking hell" I cried in pleasure.

My hand pushed back Adam by his shoulder and he smirked at me, I started making my way over but tripped a little and stumbled into Sebastian's arms.

"Oops" I laughed, trying to get up.

"Sebastian!" Isabelle yelled in frustration. "Let's go or we'll be late"

"I…" He started.

"You what?" She challenged him.

"I can't leave her…not like this…she's either drunk or taken something"

Adam went to grab me from his arms but failed when Sebastian pushed him back, Adam sighed and waved a goodbye to me, kissing my hand and telling me he'd arrange for another night, yes, yes, yes, okay. I nodded yep sure; I was pretty much just nodding by now.

After Adam left Sebastian stood me up properly, Isabelle still standing there her arms crossed across her chest and an angry look upon her face.

"I'll be fine Valmont" I said, making my way to my door.

Again I tripped, but fell this time, falling to my feet and almost hitting my face.

"I can't belle; she's not in a state to look after herself"

"Fine whatever" She stormed off down the stairs and I heard a loud bang.

"You could have gone, I'll be fine"

Sebastian picked me up with ease, my head rested against his chest until he placed me on my bed.

"What's this?" He picked up my crucifix.

"Blaine gave it back to me"

"That fag"

"What?" I asked.

"You're a recovering coke addict; you went to fucking rehab for this shit"

I layed my back against the pillow, hmm it was soft and fluffy. I pulled Sebastian down with me and grabbed his arm, swinging it over me so his hand rested on my stomach; I cuddled closer to him and nuzzled his neck with my nose.

"Goodnight Kathryn"

"Goodnight Sebastian"

* * *

**A/N: Well it's been like 5 days? Since I last updated, usually I update every second day or whatever, I'm sorry I haven't, I haven't really been motived to write, due to lack of reviews and being very tired lately.**

**I'll try update more often but I have a lot of homework and crap to do lately, so I don't know, I'm filling in bits when I get time.**

**Please review.**

**Oh by the way, do any of you read my other fan fic Two Of A Kind? If so, would you like me to update that? I've just kinda hit a stop and haven't known what to do, but maybe if any one has ideas for that let me know. Thanks.**


	10. Dix

_Thinking we're the brightest stars  
And hoping we will never burn out  
But baby everything has got  
An expiration date, like you and I_

Introduce Facts For The Sake Of Fiction – PlayRadioPlay!

* * *

_Mmm, the smell of Sebastian in the morning, yes I knew exactly where I was and who I was with. But did it really matter? Sebastian and I were two of a kind, I don't like him, he doesn't like me, we're just finding comfort in each other after what we both witnessed last night._

"_Kathryn" He whispered to me, I didn't answer, I didn't want to leave his arms. "Kathryn…Kathryn" He whispered again._

"_What?" I raised my voice, I didn't mean to but he aggravated me._

"_I was just wondering if you were awake"_

"_Well now you know"_

_I got up from his arms and re adjusted myself, he smirked at me, his devilish boy smirk that could make me crumble into him if I didn't have any self control, but of course I did._

"_I should go back to my room"_

"_Sure"_

_He stood up and stretched out, his shirt lifting up just enough to see some skin._

"_Bye"_

"_Wait! Let me walk you back" He asked._

"_You don't have to"_

"_I want to"_

"Sebastian why the hell are you in my bed?" I screamed at him once waking up.

"Do you have to scream at me so fucking early in the morning?"

"If that's what it takes to wake you up then yes, besides that Isabelle is here"

"What?"

"That girl, Isabelle she's waiting for you in your bedroom"

Sebastian jumped up faster then I'd ever seen him do before, then again I couldn't remember the past few or more years of my life.

I let my hair down and stripped from my clothing; I think I wanted a shower after waking up next to my step-brother. I was about to open my bathroom door but heard yelling and screaming, I quickly wrapped my robe around me and headed out of my door and put my ear to Sebastian's door.

"It was out anniversary Sebastian!"

"I'm sorry Belle, but Kathryn…she…I couldn't have left her like that"

"I thought you were done with that whore"

"Please Belle don't call her that"

"Why? You do! She's your fucking sister Sebastian, you shouldn't be cuddling up to her like you do and looking at her the way you do!"

"Step-sister! Step!"

"What does it matter?"

"Look Belle I'm sorry I missed our dinner, I'll make it up to you I promise"

"My name is Isabelle and you better fucking make it up to me Sebastian!"

* * *

Swimming laps of the Valmont indoor pool always seemed to relax me and settle my mind. I had so much going through my mind right now that I could have probably swum 100 laps and it wouldn't have helped, if only I had the body strength to do so.

I was about on my 12th lap when I heard heels click against the tiles of the pool room, my best guess was my mother.

"Kathryn?"

I turned my head up, but I wasn't met with my mother, I was met with Isabelle, the dark haired beauty of Sebastian's life. "Yes"

"I want to speak with you please"

I grabbed a towel and got out of the pool, wrapping the soft towel around my now shivering and wet body. "What would you like?"

"I want you to stay away from Sebastian"

"Excuse me?"

"Stay away Kathryn, I mean it"

"And exactly what would you do if I didn't?"

"I won't only take Sebastian completely away from you but I'll crush your world"

I rolled my eyes, Sebastian and I were merely step-siblings and I don't see why she thought we were more. I would never, yes never do anything inappropriate with a relative even if he is only related to me by law.

"What do you expect me to do Isabelle? He's my step-brother, I can honestly tell you that I feel nothing for him nor would I ever dream of doing things with him. We are related, we have a normal sibling relationship"

"You may think so, but Kathryn I've seen the way he looks at you, it's different to the way he looks at other girls, even me. The way he defends you and always helps you. Just…just stay away"

"Fine! Leave" I ordered her.

Isabelle turned around and left, hesitating at the door before leaving. I watched her dark hair disappear from my site.

* * *

"_This is my room" I broke the silence._

"_I know" He smirked at me._

"_Oh do you now?"_

"_Mhmm"_

_We were in the hallway, alone. It was still quite early and there wasn't anyone around. Sebastian moved in closer to me, inching closer and closer until we were almost touching lips._

"_Sebastian…" I almost moaned into him._

_He captured my lips with his, another breath taking kiss from Sebastian Valmont. His tongue swirled against mine; they warred and wrestled against each other. His hand grabbed needily for my waist as he pulled me closer towards him._

_His mouth left mine and it ventured to my neck, kissing up and down. I smiled, grabbing whatever part of Sebastian I could right now. "Sebastian…we shouldn't…not here" I whispered to him, he stopped._

"_Let's take it to your room then"_

"_I don't know Sebastian"_

"_C'mon"_

"_Um…okay…fine"_

"Kathryn! Kathryn Merteuil get up this instance"

The shrill voice of my mother rang throughout my ears. It was early morning, too early to be screamed at. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, opening them to find as I suspected my mother.

"What do you want mother?"

"You were supposed to be ready half an hour ago! We have to leave for Helen's house in 1 hour Kathryn! One hour!"

"Excuse me? Have I missed something?"

"God Kathryn, can you ever remember anything? Another drunken night last night hmm?"

Sometimes my mother could be the idiot. Had she already forgotten that I am suffering memory loss from my operation?

"The Garden Gala Kathryn!"

"Oh right"

"Hurry up and get ready"

Her heels clicked along my floor as she stormed out of my room in a really bad mood.

Hmm what to wear to this Garden Gala? Blue gown, no I think that's too _dressy_. Baby pink knee length dress, too…classy. Yellow strapless dress, yes I think this one. I stripped from my clothing and put on the dress.

I think I looked fabulous in the expensive material, it was tailor made for me and my body so it's only right that I should fit perfectly in it. I let my hair down, it was slightly curly from being up and it hung loosely around my face and sat on my shoulders.

"You look spectacular Kathryn"

I whipped around, Sebastian, of course, only Sebastian and my mother would dare barge into my room unannounced, but my mother would _never_ compliment me.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Your money grabbing whore mother sent me in here to tell you that she has left and you'll have to catch a ride with me"

"With you?"

"Yes Kathryn, unless you didn't understand it"

Damn it, I was supposed to be staying away from him, he was making it almost impossible to do that. I mean I could have avoided him today at the party, but now I was going to be stuck in a car with him alone for an hour. I tried to make up an excuse.

"Aren't you taking Isabelle?"

"Isabelle has to go to the airport and pick up her father, but she will be coming later"

"I'll…I'll just catch a taxi"

"Kathryn Merteuil catch a taxi? I think Blaine will turn straight before that happens"

"Shut up Sebastian"

"C'mon we have to get going"

"I'm not going anywhere with you"

He raised his eyebrows as if he had power over me, sure if I didn't ride with him then I probably wasn't even going to make it to the party in time.

"Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart but you have to, now hurry up"

"Fine!"

I grabbed my purse from my bed and followed him down stairs and out onto the street where is car was parked. He opened my door and I got in, moving closer to the door and trying to get away from him.

"Kat you don't have to act like I'm diseased"

"Oh you aren't?"

"You know I was starting to like the new you, the one who couldn't remember how bitchy she really was"

"I'm not all that bitchy"

"Yeah you are"

Silence.

"Do you remember the weekend at the Hamptons?" I asked him.

"Sure, we got drunk and you fell into the lake, I jumped in and saved you"

"What?"

"Don't worry"

"I mean the time when we were 13, Rachel, Gabby and Timothy were there. There was a party and the elevator…"

"Ohhhh…yeah I remember that"

"I wasn't a bitch back then, what happened to make me so cruel?"

He pulled over on to the side of the road and stopped the car, turning off its engine. It was getting late and starting to get dark.

"Well I started noticing it the day of our parent's marriage, you were meaner to me then ever and you seemed genuinely annoyed that we were going to be related" He stroked my hair then proceeded. "But I think the day that you perfected being a bitch was the day Rachel, Gabby and Timothy died. We were making out in my bedroom and you were on top of me about to take off my pants when your cell phone rang" He paused.

"Then what?" I sounded like a little kid waiting for the end of a fairytale, but this instance there wouldn't be a happy ending.

"Well I didn't hear much, I heard murmurs on the other end and then your eyes welled up and you were about to cry. You hung up the phone and got off me. I tried to stop you to ask what was wrong but you didn't speak you looked at me, tears in your eyes and ran to your bedroom. You stayed there for 4 days straight after that night"

The rest of the way to Helen's house we were silent.

* * *

Sebastian's aunt Helen always pulled off extravagant parties for the elite of New York and her Garden Gala was no different. There were hundreds of tables with white tablecloths throughout the back garden of the Rosemond estate, fairy lights lit up apart of the Garden and the rest was lit up by large lights.

Sebastian opened my door and I stepped out onto the pavement, he followed me. I look around at all the guests, I couldn't see anyone I really remembered that much, but then I found Blaine.

"See you later Valmont" I ran off to see Blaine.

I approached Blaine at the bar, he was sitting at the bar talking to a incredibly hot blonde guy.

"Tuttle" I smiled.

"Kat" He greeted me back I suppose if you call that a greeting.

I cleared my throat and glared at Blaine, how rude of him not to introduce him to his friend.

"Oh sorry, Zack this is Kathryn Merteuil, Kathryn this is my…friend Zack McCoy"

"It's pleasant to meet you Kathryn" He politely greeted me, kissing my hand as any gentleman would.

"You too"

I turned around and smiled to myself, yes by the end of the night Zack would be mine. I confidently walked off, swaying my hips, he would definitely be interested, I mean who couldn't. I was, no I _am_ beautiful, and I'm pretty much every guy's desire.

I found Sebastian sitting by a table, drinking yet again.

"Drinking again Valmont? I find this is one of your habits"

"Don't start Kathryn"

"I'm not starting anything brother"

He stood up and I thought he was going to walk away from me. But he didn't, unfortunately he stood up to greet Isabelle and her parents. He kissed her cheek and greeted her parents, typical rich kid parents.

"Kathryn" Isabelle acknowledged me.

"Good evening Isabelle, I'm sorry but can I steal Sebastian for a second I was just talking to him"

I know it killed her to see me even stand beside him, so I knew she wouldn't like me talking privately to him, which was the whole reason I had asked. Anything to piss her off.

Sebastian walked a few metres away from Isabelle and her parents with me.

"What do you want Kathryn?" He asked inquisitively.

"See that guy over there" I pointed to Zack, he was standing alone now with a glass in his hand.

"Yeah what about him"

"That's Zack"

"I know"

"Well you know what I'm going to do to him Sebastian?"

"I don't know? Screw up his life?" He said sarcastically.

"I'm going to tie him up to a bed upstairs, strip him, then me and fuck him stupid. I'm going to make him yell my name so loud that you'll hear it back in New York. My tight dripping cunt over his dick…mmm can you imagine it Valmont?"

He hesitated to answer; I think I saw his pants grow just a fraction, if there was something I had learnt over the past few weeks of living with Sebastian it was that his only one weakness was me. He couldn't resist me, fuck I could have pinned him up against a wall in front of everyone here and told him to fuck me and he would of, let's face facts that kid loved me.

"W…why are you telling _me _this?" He managed to say.

I got real close to him and put my arms around him, my mouth reached his ear.

"Just thought you'd like to know what I'll be up to later…Valmont" I almost moaned into his ear.

He let me go. "Sorry to tell you Kat but Zack…well…" He started.

"Kathryn" I turned around and found none other than Zack.

"See you later Sebastian" I waved at him and walked off with Zack, out arms linked.

* * *

"Please have a seat" I offered Zack a seat on the bed in the bedroom I was staying it at Helen's.

"Thanks"

Zack sat back, looking quite sexy I must add. I loosened my dress and let it slide to the floor, revealing me in my almost naked state.

"I was…uncomfortable" I smirked.

"Kathryn I'm not…I mean"

"Shh"

I silenced him with my finger and sat on his lap facing him, I kissed his neck and rubbed myself against him, I was surprised to feel that he didn't get hard straight away, because like most men would.

Zack fell on his back as I pushed him backwards; I jumped on him, attacking his mouth with mine and trying frantically to undo his pants in an attempt to free his dick.

"Oh Zack…" I moaned.

Looking beside me I found the two scarves I had put there earlier, I grabbed them before he noticed and tied his arms to my bed posts and laughed.

"What are you doing Kathryn?"

"I'm a kinky bitch, I know what I want and I want you"

"But honey I'm…"

I stopped him before he could utter anything more; I tied a blindfold over his mouth.

I threw off the rest of his clothes and then the rest of mine.

For some reason my attempting to seduce him wasn't making him hard, which was kind of crazy. So I untied him and got off.

"Why don't you try me?" I said, smiling at him and spreading my legs to reveal my wet pussy.

None the less he did, he tied me up so my wrists hurt from the tightness, but he didn't cover my mouth, no, he left it free, I guess for me to scream is name later.

"Come out come out where ever you are Tuttle"

Tuttle?

"Blaine I know your in here"

"Blaine?"

"Sweetheart I'm gay" He spelled it out like I was some four year old.

"What!"

Just then Blaine appeared from the bathroom, with a smug smirk on his face and then he burst out into uncontrollable laughter. He was lucky I was tied up, because I so would have killed that bastard.

"You see sweetie, Blaine bet me $2000 that I couldn't get you to believe I was straight and get you to want to fuck me" He laughed. "The funny thing is I bet him another $1000 that I could get you tied up and begging me in 2 hours, I did it in 1 and a half"

"You fucking asshole"

"Oh please princess" Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Untie me now!" I yelled.

"Sorry Kat no can do, now if you don't mind, Zack and I have a little party of our own about to start"

Blaine and Zack both blew me kisses and left the room, shutting the door behind them.

"HELP!" I screamed, I'm pretty sure no one could hear me.

"ANYONE!"

I screamed out for almost 2 hours before my voice became dry. Eventually somebody found me. Unfortunately it was Sebastian.

"What the fuck Kat?" He said sleepily, I think I had awoken him as he was only in his boxers.

"I…I don't want to talk about it"

"Oh ha ha I know, it was the Zack thing right?"

"Zack thing?" I said as if I was oblivious to what he was talking about.

"C'mon Kathryn, I know your lying I knew about Blaine and his bet before you even met Zack"

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Nah, I thought it would be fun to see you be screwed with?"

"Just untie me Sebastian"

"What's the magic word?"

I glared at him. When did I ever need a magic word?

"Fuck you"

"Sorry princess but I have a girlfriend"

"Oh right"

Sebastian leant over my naked body and gently untied the scarves.

"You know she told me to stay away from you?" I said to him, rubbing my wrists.

"Yeah I know"

"How come you didn't tell her to go screw herself!?"

"Because she has me to do that for her"

"You're such an insensitive prick you know"

I quickly shoved him in the chest; he started to fall backwards and grabbed my waist like it would stop him from falling. Unfortunately for the both of us he miscalculated how heavy I was compared to how heavy the both of us are and we both toppled to the ground. I landed on top of him, still naked.

"Ouch" I said.

Suddenly it was like I couldn't move, my legs felt weak and if I had tried to stand up I probably would have fallen over again. I was like magnetised to him or stuck by glue or something.

He stared into my eyes, searching for something maybe, or just looking.

Kiss me.

He did.

Sebastian could read my mind.

Slow slurping sounds of out mouths meeting and parting, the warring of our tongues in a passion and lust filled moment that I felt I had had once or so before, it felt so familiar, yet so unfamiliar.

Hold me.

Kiss me.

Please.

He rolled us over, not once parting my mouth now he was on top, he was now the dominant one, he could stop this at any moment and just walk away from me, walk away from this, from us.

No.

Yes.

No.

Damn it he was like hot and cold.

Grabbing at my waist one moment, then my breast and then under my shirt.

Oh god.

Right there, that's where I like it.

Grinding into me.

His mouth left mine and he stood up.

This is it.

He's going to leave.

I stared up at him, waiting, watching as he caught his breath for a few moments and looked down at me, me in all my nakedness and beauty. See beyond me Sebastian, what was it like before? Show me what we were like.

He stepped towards the door and that's when I thought he would leave, but he didn't. He did the opposite.

Sebastian tore off his boxers as fast as he could, picked me up and threw me on the bed, it was rough and yes it hurt, but it turned me on more.

Fuck me Sebastian.

He got on top of me and kissed me again, again and again. Wavering his erection above my wet pussy. He was teasing me.

He kissed me again.

Just do it Sebastian.

Let me give in to you.

It's your only chance.

I want to indulge in the unthinkable, in the unattainable, in what I shouldn't. What is lawfully forbidden to me. Don't deprive me now, not now, we've come too far to quit. Fuck me Sebastian, screw me, do it how you like, how I like. You know how I like it; you know how I want it. Just do it, now Sebastian.

"I…I can't I'm sorry"

He's gone just like that.

I could lie and tell you I didn't cry that night, I could lie and tell you it didn't hurt when he left me. I could lie and tell you that I didn't want Sebastian.

But if I lie to myself and to you then who am I really?

Sleep now Kathryn, sleep away and dream.

_Hard._

_He pushed me up against the wall of my room and kissed me again, I felt totally persuaded to screw him. _

"_Kathryn…" He moaned._

_Don't do that Sebastian, you make me want to devour you right here, right now._

_Now I could feel his erection, I'd never known anyone to be as hard as Sebastian was that moment._

_He pulled my panties down and went to push himself into me, I screamed, and pushed him back, scared at what would come next._

"_What the hell?"_

"_Get out"_

"_But…"_

"_Go Sebastian"_

"_Kathryn I was…I'm sorry we can take it slow"_

"_I don't want to…not with you…leave!"_

_I had pushed him away for good._

_Goodbye Sebastian._

* * *

**A/N: I made you think that they would have sex yeah? Because that was like totally my intentions. Yes Kathryn is returning slowly to her old self, because her dreams of her past are helping her regain her memory slowly.**

**But what will turn out when she regains full memory you will be surprised.**

**Shall update soon, leave me some reviews people.**


	11. Onze

_Wake me up from this nightmare  
Wake me up, I know that I am drowning in the blood  
Wake me up from this nightmare  
Wake me up, I know I am drowning in the blood from a pitch black heart_

Wake Up Call – Hawthorne Heights

* * *

_The sun is so bright today, it hurts my eyes. I'm in my mother's limousine, I don't know where she is, she left early this morning, the maid had told me to be ready by 8.00 am and to get in the limousine._

_So here I am, in the limousine, dressed in the pale blue dress my mother had seat on my bed this morning, waiting for my arrival to where ever the hell I was going. _

_I looked out the window; no more did I see big buildings and cars passing by. All I could see were farms and animals and longs roads with trees on either side, paddocks for miles, green grass, clear skies and no cars. I was in the country._

_The car pulled up finally at a large house, I stepped out onto the pavement and someone greeted me. I had seen the lady before, I knew her from somewhere, I just knew it. _

"_Kathryn Dear, it's lovely to see you again" She said, pulling me in for a hug._

_Now I knew who she was. Mrs. Rosemond, a very high member of the New York social scene, important and also Sebastian Valmont's aunty._

"_Hello Mrs. Rosemond"_

"_It's so nice of you're mother to have her wedding here don't you think sweetie?"_

_Wedding? Fucking wedding? What wedding? My mother wasn't getting married was she?_

_Mrs. Rosemond led me to the backyard, a beautiful white gazebo dressed in white roses was set in the middle, with 1000 or so chairs set out for guests. Waiters, musicians, guests and even a priest were scattered around the garden, then my mother._

_I ran up to her._

"_Mother what is going on?"_

"_I'm getting married Kathryn"_

"_To who?"_

"Where the hell were you last night Sebastian!! I was waiting all night at my apartment for you!"

Too early, too early for that.

It was Isabelle and Sebastian, bickering, or rather screaming at each other. Why? I'm pretty sure because Sebastian was with me last night and hadn't gone to Isabelle's afterwards.

"Isabelle calm down"

"Sebastian I'm sick of this!"

"Sick of what?"

Oh I had to hear this one, I crept out of my bed and wrapped my robe around me. I opened my door just slightly, enough to let me hear every word they were saying.

"Sick of her! Sick of you running off to her and leaving me! I told her to stay away, I told you to stay away! I can't control you Sebastian and I know that, I know that you have this thing for her but I love you! I didn't manipulate you and I certainly didn't use you for my games!"

I smirked to myself, oh Dear brother I do believe you've gotten yourself into a bit of a mess.

That's when I opened my door to it's full extent. I had only just woken up, but I still looked pretty good if I don't say so myself. I smiled at them both, the looks on their faces were unbelievable. I pulled my robe back just a bit, to reveal a bit more of my body and I saw Sebastian's eyes fixate on me.

"Sorry to butt in but I couldn't help but over hear your…screeching"

Isabelle hit Sebastian in the chest, he quickly focused back on her and not so much on my body.

"Oh here's the whore now"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me Kathryn, I told you to stay away, I told you to leave him alone"

"Hey it wasn't me who hit on him, I'm quite sure it was the other way around, just ask him what happened last night"

"Sebastian?" She questioned.

"I…nothing happened I swear"

"If by nothing you mean taking off all your clothes and being on top of me, then sure, nothing" I said back. "Have a nice day you two"

I walked away with a smile on my face.

Later that day, or rather late at night I ran into Sebastian in the hallway, I hadn't seen him after this morning; I think he had pretty much stayed in his room with Isabelle fighting.

"Watch where you're going Valmont" I sneered.

He didn't reply, but kept walking.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"The library"

"Why?"

"I'm looking for a book"

I followed him downstairs to our library; I didn't really visit the place. It always felt cold and mysterious in there and I didn't really enjoy reading books anyway, that was more of a Sebastian trait.

He scanned book after book on the many shelves of the library, I sat back on a chair waiting.

"I think I'm going to go" I yawned.

"Stay, please"

Please? Was I hearing things or did Sebastian just say please?

"Why?"

"It…I…don't worry"

"No tell me"

"It just feels warmer in here with you"

That's all he had to say and I basically melted into the seat, pathetic.

I kept watching him, he'd pull book after book from the shelves, throwing them to the ground when they weren't the right book. Heavy, hard covered books made rather loud thumping sounds when they dropped from a certain height.

The coldness of the room made me shiver, Sebastian noticed. He looked down to me from the step ladder he was on. Stepping down from it he walked over to me and gave me his jacket that he was wearing and placed it around my shoulders. Back to the books now.

I curled up on the comfy chair, I don't know exactly how long we'd been down there for now, but it was over an hour and watching Sebastian pull book after book down from shelves wasn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world to watch.

Sleep over took me.

"_Edward Valmont"_

_WHAT! NO! NO! I refuse to be a step-daughter of that perverted creep and I most definitely refuse to be a step-sister to Sebastian Valmont! I will not, I won't do it. I'm not being apart of his family._

_My mother turned me around, it was like slow motion and before I even saw him I knew he was there, I knew that's why it all seemed to be slow right now. I knew that this would be the start of something._

_There he was. He had grown somewhat taller, his hair not as long as it used to be. Still good looking and still knew how to dress himself. He was absolutely gorgeous._

"_Go off with Sebastian, don't get you're dress wrecked"_

_  
"Yes mother" I scoffed._

_I'll be damned if I'm going to prance around with him._

_I walked passed him and he smiled, knowing too well that I was pissed off, he followed me into the house, into the study where I knew Mrs. Rosemond kept the alcohol._

"_It's nice to see you again Kat"_

"_It's certainly not nice to see you" I retorted._

_I poured myself a glass of vodka._

"_Why so bitter? Isn't it great that our parents are getting married?"_

_I thought about it for a second, I pondered on it. Was it? I mean the family name was good, they were certainly rich, and this way Sebastian would have to keep his hands off of me, because now, now he'd be related to me._

_A smile stretched across my face, if I could have seen it I probably would have scared myself, because it was not a pleasant smile, one of poison._

"_Actually dear brother I think it's a grand idea"_

_He came closer to me and placed his hands on my waist and kissed my lips, just softly, not a forced one because I reciprocated after all it would be the last kiss I'd be able to have with Sebastian._

"_I think so too, just imagine what we can get up to living in the same house"_

"_What we can get up to? I think you misunderstood me? I won't be doing anything with you anytime soon Sebastian. I'm going to be related to you now, by law you have to keep your hands off me. I think this is the beginning of something beautiful"_

"Kathryn" Sebastian's voice.

"Mmm"

"Come on, it's late" He said, pushing me slightly.

Not now Sebastian, let me sleep. I'm tired, my body is weak I can't move.

"Kathryn if you don't get up I'm going to carry you upstairs, you can't stay down here you'll freeze" One, two, three. "Fine I'll carry you"

His arms lifted me and I put my arms around his neck, holding on to him as he did to me.

I felt the steps as he climbed them, but they seemed to go on forever. Up, up, up, stumble. Up, up, up, stop. Why were we stopping? I'm sure we weren't at the top yet, we couldn't be. Could we?

"Isabelle"

Eyes open, he dropped me, ouch.

I held onto the railing of the stairs to keep my balance, I was weak but I was so wide awake. She looked scary, even I was afraid of her. Her face was dark, probably due to the low lit hallway, but she looked angry, no wrong word, furious maybe.

"I've been waiting all night Sebastian"

I think Sebastian was in trouble, what had he missed this time?

"And then I find that you're with _her_, her Sebastian!" She yelled, it echoed.

Maybe I could slip away and let them fight. I climbed up the stairs, both Sebastian and Isabelle had their eyes set on each other in an intense staring thing.

A few more steps up and I would be safe.

"Where do you think you're going?" She said.

Stop.

"To my room if you don't mind"

She stepped down to the step in front of me. I was not going to be intimidated, like what was she going to do? Hit me? I'd like to see her try.

"Actually I do"

And with that came an awfully hard shove, I stumbled, lost my balance and stepped back onto the step below the one I was on. I thought I was safe, I would have been, if I hadn't been wearing heels, my heel didn't quite make the step and I completely lost all footing.

My head crashed against the steps, one step, two step, three step. Bones crack, thump after thump, bump after bump. I hear Sebastian yell my name, it seems so faint. Was I losing consciousness?

Eventually I make it to the ground. I'm barely conscious, so close that I kept tripping in and out, I could hear and then I couldn't. Parts of my body I wasn't able to feel and I couldn't open my eyes.

"Stay still Kathryn. Call an ambulance Isabelle now!"

Yeah like I'm going anywhere.

My cheeks started to feel damp, like water was trickling down them. Wait it was, but it wasn't water it was tears. I was crying, did I hurt that much that I lost control of myself? Because I was actually fucking crying!

"Oh god" Sebastian said.

What's wrong? Tell me? Am I okay?

"Isabelle get me some towels!"

Towels? What the fuck did he need towels for?

Something dripped, ran down my head and dripped from my head to the hard floor. I don't think it was a tear, it started to flow more, I could feel it gushing out, now I knew it wasn't tears, I would know if it was.

I could hear Isabelle's heels click along the floor, she better be hurrying.

Sebastian got up, red liquid covering his hands. Was that from me? God am I bleeding?

"Have you called the ambulance Isabelle!? Have you!?"

Please hurry, I can feel my life fading away.

In, out, in, out.

Out.

_What dress to wear today…I tell you it's a hard decision, my closet is like the size of a normal kid's bedroom and it's mostly filled with dresses, I just don't know which one to wear today._

_My door opens, it's Sebastian._

"_Oh sorry, thought this was my room" He smiled._

"_Sebastian our parents have been married for almost 6 months, we've been living in this house together for almost 6 months. I'm sure by now you know which room is mine and which room is yours"_

"_Sorry Kathryn, the real reason I'm in here is because of your birthday"_

"_What about it?"_

"_It's tomorrow and I was wondering about the party"_

_Ha ha, it's a lot like him to never forget a party, especially one of mine. Well actually especially my 14__th__ birthday party._

"_What about it?"_

"_Is Marcy Grey coming?"_

_I rolled my eyes. Marcy Grey was the biggest slut I know. She slept with every boy possible. Sebastian had had his eye on her for a week now, but he'd never really went and pursued her. _

"_Yeah"_

"_Nice"_

_Then he was gone._

_The next night was my party. Everyone from New York came. Young and older._

_There was this really hot guy called Matthew, he must have been 16 or 17, he was hitting on me all night. He had been flirting with me and eventually he came up to me and started to whisper things in my ear._

"_Meet me in my room in 10" I whispered back._

_I went up to my room and sat on my bed._

_Five minutes passed, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Where the hell was he?_

_My bedroom door opened. I held my breath and then Sebastian came in._

"_What are you doing in here?"_

"_If you're waiting for Matthew he left with Marcy about 20 minutes ago"_

_I must admit I was disheartened; I was looking forward to playing with my new boy toy._

"_I guess that means Marcy rejected you hey Valmont?"_

"_Actually I was too busy playing with Andrea Gillman to ask Marcy"_

_Smug bastard._

"_Hey I want to give you you're birthday present" He said to me, with all sincerity._

"_Go ahead"_

"_Come with me"_

_I got up and followed him out of my bedroom and into his. It was dark as per usual. It was then I wondered if anyone noticed I was gone. Doubtful._

"_Here" _

_Sebastian passed me a blue bag, I opened it and pulled out it's contents. I short, almost see-through, silk night gown. It was probably very expensive and he had probably spent a lot of time looking for a perfect one, but it was perfect._

"_You know we are related right? It's not suitable for you to be giving your step-sister such revealing clothes"_

_I placed the night gown into the bag and put the bag on Sebastian's bedside table. He came closer to me, looking into my eyes. His eyes, a spectacular colour of blue, and my eyes, a deep, dark shade of green._

"_Happy Birthday Kathryn"_

_I couldn't resist him anymore, the smell of him, and the look of him, everything about him. I just wanted to jump him, I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't have been doing it, but I did it anyway. I indulged myself._

_What was only supposed to be a simple, small and soft kiss turned into a passionate kiss, warring of tongues. His hands moved along my body, stopping at my breast for some careful attention then moving down some more. He stopped when he reached my thigh, caressing it then moving his hands under my dress._

_This was the first time I had done anything like this with Sebastian since we had been related. He stopped, didn't move his hands, I guess he was waiting for a sign for him to continue._

"_its okay" I whispered between a kiss._

_His hand moved up my thigh and eventually reached my pussy. He rubbed me outside of my underwear. Then sliding it to the side he pushed one finger inside me._

_Oh god._

_He fingered me, slipping another finger in and working his magic. Fast, slow, slower, fast, faster, slow. His thumb reached my clit and he massaged it, if he had of kept doing that I would have orgasmed several times in one minute, or that's sure what it felt like._

_By now I could feel his erection; it was basically bursting outside of his pants. He was as hard as a rock. I caressed his hard on outside of his pants. I was on top of him now and never had I wanted him more then now._

_I reached down to the button on his suit pants and carefully un did it, watching his eyes as he stared down at my hands._

"_You don't have to" He told me._

"_I want too"_

_Carefully I pulled down the zip, kissing his neck. I was about to take off his pants when my cell phone rang, inconvenience I know. I reached over and angrily opened it up, answering rudely._

"_What!?"_

"_Is this Kathryn Merteuil?"_

"_Yes it is, can I help you?"_

"_Do you know a…" a pause. "Rachel Moneterz, Gabriella Smith and Timothy Carter?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_I'm sorry to tell you this miss Merteuil but you're friends have been in a horrific car accident, none of them made it. You were the last dialled call on one of the cell phones we found in the car, sorry"_

_I hung up, I could feel my eyes well up and the tears start to build. I was going to cry. Did I just hear that? Is it true? Had my best friends been killed?_

_I got off Sebastian, stopped for a moment. Then proceeded to the door. Sebastian grabbed me before I made it._

"_Kathryn what's wrong? What's the matter?" He looked into me._

_I looked into him, I think he knew when he looked at me, I think he knew what had been said, his grip loosened and his face softened just a bit. I knew he wanted to hug me, he wanted to make it all better and hold me until it was all over. But it wasn't going to be all over, they weren't coming back, he couldn't bring them back and neither could I. Again tears built up, I was about to burst._

_I ripped my arm from his grip and ran to my bedroom, locking the door and throwing the key to one side of the bedroom. That's when I burst, tears poured uncontrollably from my face, dropping to the floor. I screamed, I threw things, I hit things, I yelled and I even prayed, but no matter what I did, nothing helped, nothing made me feel better, nothing would calm me down._

A hand grazed my face, I was awakening. My head hurt, actually it ached, fucking killed in fact. My hand moved up to my head and I brushed another hand before I met my bandaged covered head.

I opened my eyes slowly. Sebastian was sitting there, watching me, waiting until I woke up.

"Kathryn I'm so glad you're okay"

"Get off me Valmont"

Fucking bastard, did he really think I was going to let him touch me like that? After everything?

"What?"

"You heard me!"

He looked at me, he was hurt. Good he deserved it. Come to think of it I hadn't payed him back for the Annette stunt yet.

"Kat do you remember Annette?" He asked me like I was a child.

Well of course I remember Annette, let's see, you became infatuated with her, fell in love, broke my heart, betrayed me, left me, then sent me to rehab with a little stunt prepared by Annette herself.

"Sebastian I'm not retarded of course I remember the virgin"

"You do?"

"You're such a fucking idiot sometimes"

He walked out the room, I heard him speak to a doctor. They whispered and then Sebastian's voice seemed to raise.

"So she's got her memory back?"

"Well I think so, that bump must have triggered something"

My memory? Oh right the tumour, the brain thing, the operation and the memory loss. I had regained my memory. No more sappy, nice Kathryn. Nope, Kathryn is here, the cold hearted bitch you love to hate. You thrive to be but despise all the same. The Ice Queen of the Upper East Side.

The bitch is back.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update!**

**So Kathryn has regained her memory now, she remembers everything that has happened and so forth as you do when you regain your memory. I'm sorry for the really long flash back, the last one before she woke. It was needed to have her be Kathryn again, I couldn't have split it in two either because I wanted her to wake from her fall in the hospital and remember everything again.**

**So in the next few chapters I am going to have some big things go down. **

**Kathryn's revenge on Annette and Sebastian.**

**Kathryn and Isabelle's fight over Sebastian.**

**That's all I have for now, but I'm sure it'll be good.**

**Please review.**


	12. Douze

_There's just one thing that I want to know, _

_Why would god want to hurt me so bad? _

_Does he know how much it hurts? _

Missing you – First Lady 

* * *

The ringing of my cell phone hurt my ears, my head and every other part of my body. I was sore from falling but I could manage, I was home now, more comfortable.

I leaned over to one side of my bed and picked up my cell phone, the flashes on the cover stung my eyes, too bright, too bright. I answered.

"You know who ever the fuck it is I'm going to fucking kill you"

"Kathryn?"

I knew that voice from anywhere, the slightly girly tone it held but at the same time, the boy in him coming out. The softness, the cheeriness, yes there could be only one person on the other end and his name was Blaine Tuttle.

"What do you want Blaine!"

"Is that really you?"

"Yes it fucking is, now what the fuck do you want!"

"Sebastian told me you were in hospital…he said you have your memory back"

"Yeah I do, now can I get back to sleeping"

"Actually I was wondering if I could come over, I have a feeling you're going to like what I have to give you"

Cocaine, please be cocaine. I needed it, my head would stop aching, and my body would stop aching.

"Sure"

I hung up and slowly got out of bed, the house was almost silent, although I could hear soft sounds coming from across the hall, my best guess was Sebastian was fucking Isabelle. Great.

My right arm hung loosely by my side, the skin covered in a plaster cast. It was broken, severely, stupid cast, it was heavy and made my outfits look bad.

I pulled on some clothes, fixed my hair and make-up, it was a sunny day outside, unfortunately the sun hurt my eyes. Fucking sun, if I could I would blow it up right now.

There were small stitches close to my knee where I had cut it open, they looked ugly, probably hideous. I slipped into some heels and started walking over to my cupboard for a jacket to put on, I miss stepped and trip, crashing into my dresser, hitting my knee.

"Fuck!" I cried out.

I picked up the closest thing I could reach before crashing to the ground; it was a bottle of really expensive perfume I had bought from Paris a few years back. It smashed against the wall and made a loud smashing sound as I threw it hard at the wall.

Suddenly the soft sounds I had heard from across the room had stopped. I heard steps, a door open, a door close and then the turning of my door. I whipped my head around. I dare him to enter, watch what I throw at him this time.

"Kathryn are you okay?"

A shoe came in my reach and I threw it at him, it missed his head by just a little bit, damn it. It may have done some real damage.

"Fuck off Sebastian before I do hit you!"

"You're bleeding"

My knee, it was bleeding, just slowly crimson liquid seeped through the stitching, he rushed to my bathroom and grabbed a face washer then came back to me, placing it over my knee to stop the blood from getting on my floor.

"There" He said as if I cared.

"Screw you"

"I'm only trying to help"

"Did you ever think I didn't want your help Sebastian!? Did you ever think that you've helped enough!? Letting your girlfriend push me down a flight of stairs isn't enough?"

"Kathryn I didn't let her she jus…"

"Leave now"

He did as I said. Soon after Blaine came in, I was still seated on the floor, I couldn't move, it hurt too much and beside that I wasn't sure if the bleeding had stopped yet, I didn't want it to bleed more.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked me.

I looked up at him with my bruises and cuts.

"Oh fucking Christ" He said at my face.

"Just help me up Tuttle"

Blaine grabbed my hand and pulled me up; I hopped over to my bed and sat down, taking the face washer off. It had stopped bleeding now.

"What do you have for me? Cocaine?" I smirked.

"Yeah like I'd do that again"

"What?"

"Last time I tried to give you coke, Mr Valmont had a hissy fit"

"Whatever just give me it"

Blaine pulled out a yellow sealed envelope from his jacket and smiled at me, he passed it to me and I was only too eager to open it. I emptied its contents onto my bed, spreading them out so I could see what they were.

"Interesting" I smiled as I looked over it all.

Photographs of Annette at some club, dancing around a pole, one of her holding a baby…a boy and her…Sebastian and her…Isabelle and her?

That's the one I picked up, the one of her and Isabelle. I studied it, thinking maybe it wasn't Isabelle, but it was. I knew it, I could tell. Isabelle was kissing Annette, it looked more than friendly.

"What the fuck?" I laughed.

"Read the papers"

I picked up one of the sheets, it was full of information, I scanned over it. Annette Hargrove…Kansas City, Kansas…Trevor…Sebastian Valmont…Oh juicy.

"Hargrove and Silas wedding" I spoke, smiling to both Blaine and myself.

I read the article from the Kansas City news paper.

"Daughters of Hargrove and Silas caught in a steamy situation" I read the headline. "Annette Hargrove, daughter of Dean Hargrove and Isabelle Silas, daughter of Maria Silas found at a Kansas City nightclub being more then step-sisters. The pair were caught making out and then later went off with another female into a private room. Photos were released to the press early yesterday morning of the threesome, but the photos were to explicit to show. Rumours are escalating that you can see a pornographic film of the Hargrove-Silas siblings on the internet; one is yet to be found. The young Annette Hargrove is also a mother of a young child whom no one knows the father of. Annette was featured in Seventeen magazine quite awhile ago in an article about how she planned to wait to lose her virginity. Well was it all lie?"

I burst out in laughter. Fucking Christ, she had turned out to be a little different than I had thought. But why had Blaine given it to me, it was useless, it probably happened a year ago. I checked the date, it was the day before yesterday's paper.

"Aren't Isabelle and Sebastian together?"

"Yeah that's what I thought too princess, seems Miss Silas is more then we thought"

"Hmm so why give this to me?"

"Because I know you're planning revenge on not only Annette but Sebastian too, and I thought hey why not throw Isabelle in there, after all she did push you down a flight of stairs"

"You know me too well Blaine"

* * *

"Where are you going?" Sebastian asked, popping his head around the corner. 

"My doctor's appointment if you don't mind"

"Let me drive you"

"No"

"Why not Kathryn?"

"Because I hate you"

I limped the rest of the way to the door and opened it. He rushed down to me and stopped me, slamming the door before I could get out of it and escape.

"I'm coming whether you like it or not"

"No you're not"

"Yeah, I am"

I couldn't hold it anymore, I had to yell and scream at him. Make him feel like shit, make him hurt like I did. I needed to scream something oblivious at him, something he wouldn't understand.

"Go fuck your lesbian girlfriend!"

Quickly I stepped out the door, half running to the limousine before he could catch me. I got inside and ordered the driver to drive, but before he could Sebastian got in with me.

"Excuse me?" He said.

Too late now, we were off.

"You heard me Sebastian"

"She's not a lesbian clearly because she's with me"

"Suit yourself"

"What do you know?" He asked me, staring at me, trying to read me.

Oh baby I was beyond reading.

"I pulled out the photographs from my bag and threw them at him. They were the most explicit ones I could find. I had found a few on the internet and the others I got from Blaine.

He flicked through them, he stopped on one. One of the ones I had gotten from the internet. Isabelle was licking Annette out, while Annette was fingering some other girl. Raunchy.

"Seems your virgin ex turned out to be a horny, lesbian, slut and your now girlfriend Isabelle, well I always knew she was a whore"

"Fuck you Kathryn"

"Oh baby no way in hell will I ever…" I climbed on his lap and licked his jaw. "Ever, ever fuck you" Then I climbed off. The limousine stopped and I got out.

Lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I got home late, it was past 1am, and after my doctor's appointment I rang Blaine to pick me up. I had pretty much been at his house planning my revenge the whole day.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me Isabelle!?" Sebastian yelled, I could hear him from downstairs.

"I'm not a lesbian Sebastian! I love you!"

"Then what are these huh!? Explain them Isabelle! Because I've sure fucking run out of explanations in my head!"

I climbed the steps slowly, listening to their argument; it sure was nice to hear it. I hated the bitch anyway.

Crying, she was fucking crying. Was she pathetic?

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She screamed at him.

Thud. What the hell was that?

"Oh fuck Isabelle I'm sorry, I didn't…oh god" I heard him from the hall.

The door was open and I peered in. Isabelle was on the floor with a very nice red mark on her face. Had he hit her? I walked in there to find out.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, faking it.

Isabelle looked up at me, tears streaking her otherwise perfect face.

"Sebastian…did you…did you hit her?" I seemed appalled, frankly I wasn't surprised.

"No…I mean yes…I didn't mean it"

She got up, I helped her, pulling her to her feet and giving Sebastian a dirty look.

"Fuck you Sebastian, you don't hit women! Come on Isabelle" I took her away into my room and locked the door.

I'm going to become her friend, then screw her over.

* * *

Poised. Perfect. Elegant. Intelligent. Bitch. Vain. Heartless. There's probably a lot more I could think of, but those few come to mind right now. It's now early morning and I haven't gone to sleep. 

I stayed up all morning with Isabelle, listening to her, watching her cry, hearing her whine, eventually I had kicked her out, told her I needed to sleep but if she needed anything to call me. She did, I had just layed down and she rang me.

It was then I couldn't get back to sleep, I sat up all morning thinking about what I'm about to go through with. I'm ready to ruin 2 lives and seriously fuck one person over, mostly because I enjoy it, but some part of it was because they had hurt me.

Sebastian; he deserved it more than anyone, he broke me. Now he can't fix me.

Isabelle; took my Sebastian when I needed him.

Annette; took him, had him, turned him against me, she screwed me up, she put me into rehab, she fucked my life up. I hated her, but at the same time I envied her. Did Sebastian ever love me as much as he loved her? Does he still love me? Did he ever? Those questions were ones I wanted answers to since the day I knew he loved her.

I'm going to break him, I'm going to make him hurt so bad he'll want to die; I'm going to kill him on the inside. Make his heart die, I don't want him trusting anyone again, I don't want him falling in love again. He's going to pay; he's going to pay more than anyone else.

Manipulation; the key to what I will bring down.

I love him, I hate him, I want him and at some point in time I needed him. Not anymore, I don't need anyone. I'm officially cold.

Knocks on my door disturbed my thoughts. "Come in"

Black hair, blue eyes, tanned body, wavy hair, tall. Dakota.

My knight in shining armour has arrived.

"Dakota?"

"Sweet Kathryn"

I don't do affection, or in most cases I don't do affection. Dakota was different. He was there when Sebastian wasn't; he was there to hold me at night when Sebastian hated me. He's always there.

"What happened to you?" He asked me, noticing my cast.

"Sebastian's girlfriend pushed me down the stairs"

He kissed my forehead, his lips were warm on my skin, it sent tingles throughout my frail body.

"I missed you" I whispered.

"I know"

Take me away Dakota.

"Can we...? Just for tonight"

He didn't answer, but slowly undressed me, with more care than anyone had.

Kiss.

Bite.

Lick.

I'm away. Fly Kathryn.

* * *

I knew when I woke Dakota wouldn't be sleeping next to me, he wouldn't even be laying there watching me. I knew he would have gone, he would have left for a room down the hall. 

What I didn't expect was Sebastian sitting on one of the chairs watching me as I slept.

"Good morning sis" He said cheerily, stroking my head as he approached me.

"Get the fuck away from me" I retorted.

"Don't be so bitter"

"Screw you"

"Where's Isabelle?"

I rolled over, who cares.

"Kathryn?"

"I don't fucking know Sebastian god just fuck off!" I closed my eyes, hopefully he would go away.

"Well then I'm going to Kansas for the weekend, I need to speak to Annette"

Annette? I'm coming Sebastian.

I jumped up from my bed. "Wait, let me shower and get dressed, I'm coming with you"

"So now you talk to me"

I pulled down my night gown right in front of him. I wasn't wearing panties, nor a bra, his reaction, well you can imagine.

"Wait for me?" I pleaded.

I'm pretty sure it took all of his self control to say no to me, but he did it. He said no.

"Please" I got to my knees and looked up at him.

His hands stroked my hair, my face.

"Fine"

"Good" I got up and showered.

* * *

"Kansas City, fucking Kansas, it's so…ew" 

"Geez Kat"

"Shut up and just drive Valmont"

He didn't drive for long before he pulled up at a large house. It was quite a nice looking house, pretty tiny compared to mine of course, but I suppose it was alright.

One knock, two knock, three knock…wait…wait.

"Sebastian?" Annette answered the door.

"Hey"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Where's Isabelle?"

"She's not here…I mean who's Isabelle"

I stepped out from behind Sebastian with a pleasant grin on my face.

"You don't need to hide it Annette, Sebastian knows you're fucking Isabelle, he knows your dirty little secrets"

"Excuse me?"

"I bet daddy doesn't know"

"Kathryn shut up" Sebastian silenced me.

Hesitantly Annette invited us in to her home, her father and step-mother were home.

"Daddy you remember Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil right?"

"Of course sweetheart, it's nice to see you both again" He said, looking straight at me.

My plan was taking its course; I'll go through her by attacking Mr Hargrove.

"Maria, these are some old friends from New York, Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil"

"Yes dear, I know Sebastian, my daughter is dating him, where is Isabelle anyway?"

For awhile Annette and her family chatted with us, talking about their church and everything else boring people do. Then Mr Hargrove had to go fax something, he left down the hall.

"Excuse me Annette, but can I use the toilet?" I asked.

"Down the hall, 5th door on the left"

I got up, excused myself and turned the corner to the hall. It was quite long and many rooms occupied it. Most of the doors were shut except one. Mr Hargrove's office.

"Mr Hargrove" I said, smiling sweetly.

"Kathryn, you scared me, please call me Dean now"

"What are you doing Dean?" I asked him, inviting myself inside the room.

"Just faxing some papers"

I leaned in closer, sitting on his desk and crossing my legs, my skirt rose, high enough to see right up it. He looked, everyone always did, he started to sweat, I think he was uncomfortable.

"Kathryn I think we should go back out there"

"Before we do can I ask you something Dean?"

"Sure go ahead"

I pulled him closer and un crossed my legs, he stood in between them, I looked him straight in the eye.

"I'm having some trouble"

He licked his lips; I ran my hands down my self.

"W…w…what would the t…trouble be?"

"I have this party I have to go to and well I'm wearing a dress and well I don't know if it's a little revealing or not"

"I'm not sure if I can help you there"

"Well it looks like this"

He watched me as I slowly unbuttoned the few buttons on my shirt, my breasts popped out a bit more.

"I…I…"

"You what Mr Hargrove?" I licked his neck.

That was it for him; he pushed me down on his desk and ripped my panties off. He was quite rough for an older man.

"Mmmm" I said as he began to rub me.

"Shh" he said silencing me.

His hand covered my mouth as he penetrated me, it was to stop me screaming and moaning I suppose. Then he let go, he held my waist so tight I think I was going to bruise.

"Ouch" I cried out.

It really hurt, and I wasn't faking it.

Then I heard footsteps, brilliant.

I started to cry, but he didn't stop. He held me tighter and tighter, I think that if he had of held anymore tighter I would have snapped. Tears ran down my face. I saw someone stand at the door and obviously he didn't.

I started to cry even more, telling him to stop, screaming and crying. It looked like rape.

"Daddy?" Annette said.

Sebastian and Maria appeared at the door then and Dean stopped suddenly. Sebastian saw me crying and saw the pain and ran to Dean and punched him.

"Get your dirty fucking hands off her!"

He grabbed me and held me, I cried into him.

"I didn't…she told me too"

I didn't say a word; I think my plan had worked.

Annette ran off crying and Maria had gone after her, I'm pretty sure I had ruined her family. Good, she ruined mine.

Sebastian took me out to the car and gave me his jacket. I had to play the rape victim all the way home now. I cuddled up against the door, looking all sad and perverted now.

"Kathryn I'm sorry"

No words.

"Did he hurt you?"

I pulled open the jacket slowly and pulled up my shirt, two blue bruises were on my hips, clearly shown.

"Fuck"

He pulled over, I sat up. What the fuck? Why were we stopping?

Sebastian put his hands on my hips and gently rubbed around the bruises. Don't do that you silly boy. I closed my eyes, I tried to think of someone disgusting to replace his head so I could keep control, but I couldn't, no one came to mind.

It was dark now, and probably getting closer to dinner time. Sebastian leant down and kissed the bruises softly. I had to bite my own lip to keep from groaning. Keep control Kathryn. Stay in control.

He picked up his head and brought it to mine, kissing the side of my mouth and then my lips.

I tried to fight it, but he was too strong and eventually I had to succumb to the kiss. His tongue massaged mine as it swirled inside my mouth. He tasted so good.

Stop Kathryn, don't let him win.

Before he could do anything more to me I stopped him. Pulling away and regaining my stature.

"Drive" I ordered.

* * *

**A/N: Annette gone, two to go.**


	13. Treize

_She murdered me with a smile  
Strangled me with her eyes  
I'm poisoned as she passes by  
The buildings around me shake_

Black Poison Blood – Kill Hannah

* * *

It had been a week since I had planned anymore revenge, or done anything to hurt Sebastian and Isabelle. Frankly I hadn't been bothered and I'd avoided Sebastian in anyway possible.

I had been staying at Blaine's house or just staying out all night, simply because I knew when I got home he would be waiting for me. I didn't want that.

It was early morning when I eventually got home, the house was reasonably quiet, Sebastian was either sleeping or he had gone out. I knew mother and Edward wouldn't be home.

"Where were you?"

I jumped in fright.

"Sebastian!" I shrieked.

"Answer me Kathryn"

"I was out, not that it's any of your business"

"You're my step-sister and you have only just recently recovered from a brain tumour surgery, I think it's my business"

"Fuck off Valmont, I don't need you to baby sit me"

"Come on I've had the maids prepare you breakfast"

"I'm not hungry"

"You're going to eat it whether you like it or not"

I glared at him, he couldn't make me.

"You're not my mother"

"Fine Kathryn, whatever do as you please, you're slowly killing yourself"

I laughed in his face, he can be so pathetic. Using that on me is not going to make me think any different. "You're slowly killing yourself" Ha! He can be such a pussy.

When I reached my room I wondered if Isabelle and Sebastian had broken up yet, I mean she cheated on him with his ex girlfriend and lied to him.

I looked out my bedroom door, into Sebastian. Someone walked out of the door, I knew it was her. She couldn't be mistaken for anybody else. Jealousy ran through me, how could she just be forgiven like that?

Sebastian is mine and mine only, I'm supposed to be the only person he forgives so easily, how come when it comes to her he's weak and he can't help but forgive her. What makes her so special? She's just a cheap imitation of me.

"Thinking about him are we Kathryn?"

Blaine walked into my room, how can he tell?

"What?"

"I know you're thinking about Valmont, you always have this look when you do and a slight smile too"

"I do not, and I wasn't"

"Sweetheart there is no need to lie to me"

"I need a plan"

"A plan for what exactly?"

I raised my eyebrows and crept up to him. "I'm going to hurt Isabelle, fucking badly"

"Why?"

For once I had nothing to say, why? The first reason was for pushing me down the stairs, but I was almost recovered and I had forgotten about it. When I thought for awhile about it, the only reason I could think of was because Sebastian was mine and she took him from me when I needed him most.

"You don't know do you?" Blaine smiled.

"Shut up"

"You're jealous, because Valmont and Isabelle are happy together"

"I'm not!"

"You are, you can't stand for them to be toge-"

"Blaine I swear if you don't shut up right now I'm going to tell everyone that you have genital herpes"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Would you like to keep talking and see what happens?"

He shut up.

* * *

I hadn't seen Dakota in awhile, I'm not sure where he had gone, he's never around and when he is he's usually sleeping or on the phone to someone important.

I walked down the hall to his bedroom and opened it. There he was, lying on his side away from me, I didn't know if he was awake or not.

"Dakota?"

He rolled over, his eyes were red. Maybe he had been crying.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He didn't reply he kept this look on his face; I'm not sure what you could call it. It was like he had been shot and was dying.

"If you don't mind Kathryn I'd just like to be alone" He told me.

"It's fine" I said.

Walking to the door I stopped and looked back at him, he gave me a pathetic excuse for a smile and rolled back over, something was wrong.

I walked back down the hall and stopped before I reached the end. Sebastian and Isabelle were making out right there. I should have pushed them down the stairs and hoped they'd die. Jealousy ran through me, Sebastian all mine.

My fists clenched in anger, it was wrong. She shouldn't be able to have him like that. Sebastian was weak for letting it happen, where had my Sebastian gone, my cold Sebastian, the one who felt little emotion?

"I'll see you tomorrow" He kissed her cheek.

I watched them both as she walked down the stairs and he looked at her with those big blue eyes of his.

He turned back and saw me.

"How can you still be with her after what she did?"

"What did she do?"

"Sebastian she cheated on you with your ex girlfriend, she lied about her family"

"So?"

"How can you still want to be with her?"

"Because love goes beyond all that Kathryn"

That word, the one I never wanted to hear come out of his mouth. Last time he had fallen in love I tried to destroy it, that got me no where at all, this time it felt more real, it felt like I had truly lost him.

"I've lost you" I whispered to him and walked away.

I probably made no sense at all, but did it really matter? Sebastian and I had been on thin ice ever since the Annette thing, we really hadn't recovered from that. We'd have our good days and our bad days. But now I wonder, if I offered Sebastian the chance to have me just once, would he? I mean would he give her up to pursue the one he had once wanted?

It's time to play, it's time to win once and for all. Sebastian is going to be broken along with Isabelle.

I called Blaine.

"Blaine I have a plan"

"For what?"

"I'm going to break Sebastian"

"Why?"

"Because he broke me"

Then I hung up. I didn't need Blaine explaining to me what this could all do.

I ran my hands through my hair, inside I felt like crying and screaming until he came to rescue me, but I think it was too late. Maybe I had pushed him back to far for him to reach me now.

This is it Kathryn. You're truly going to fuck him up because he doesn't love you anymore. You're going to hurt him so bad and push him back more than you ever had. He's never going to forgive you, he's never going to want to talk to you, he won't want you anymore, you are truly a cold hearted bitch.

* * *

Each day I add a little more to my plan, it's not going into action until I have completed it. It's going to hurt him more than I ever have, more than anyone ever has.

Fuck forget about Isabelle, I don't care, what I'm going to do to Sebastian will make up for it.

I unveiled my plan to Blaine, he called me and Ice bitch and that he wanted no part in it and he was going to tell Valmont, but I persuaded him otherwise.

The perfect time to start my plan would be at Blaine's party tonight, it was going to be big and I know for a fact Isabelle wasn't going to be there.

I got out a short little dress that really did nothing to hide my body, it was really a poor excuse for clothing, my breasts were almost fully showing and if I bent over just a little, you could probably see my ass. Perfect, just what I wanted.

Sebastian must have still been getting ready because I hadn't seen him most of the day. I knocked on his door and walked straight in, there he was, in his boxers, lying on his bed writing in his faggot journal.

"You're not ready?" I asked.

"I'm not going" He told me, not taking his eyes of his journal.

"Why not?"

"Because frankly Kathryn I'm sick of these New York parties, like seriously you can only go to so many of them before you get sick of them. Who really wants to see rich kids snort their drugs and get fucked up?"

"But it's Blaine's party, you have to go"

"I don't and I'm not"

He kept on writing, like hell he wasn't, tonight I was going to unveil my plan and I couldn't do it if he wasn't there.

"Sebastian you're going, even if I have to dress you myself and drag you out to the limousine, you're fucking going"

Sebastian closed his journal and bound it back up, then placed it on his bed.

"Fine, I'll go, give me 10 minutes"

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek like I used to when we were on better terms. "I'm sorry about everything too, I hope we can just be like we used to, you know friends, we'd tell each other everything" Then I touched his shoulder and walked off. I knew he didn't believe me, but he will.

I crossed my legs as I sat in the limousine, I looked at the time, and if he didn't hurry up I was just going to leave. We were already 20 minutes late.

Finally, he was here.

"Okay let's go"

I checked my make-up and smoothed my dress down, not that it did much, I couldn't really pull it down, the more I pulled it down, the more my breasts would be exposed.

When I sat in the limousine, I made sure I sat on the side without the wine. So I would have to lean over Sebastian and get it.

I leaned over him, holding myself up with one arm, which I placed carefully in between his legs. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, he was shifting nervously and his gaze was set on my ass, perfect Sebastian, you're falling.

* * *

"Tonight's the night Blaine, I can feel it, everything is going to work out" I said, snorting a line, I know, I was supposed to be recovered, but a hit every now and then couldn't hurt.

"Princess I know your heart is set on making Valmont fall on his pretty ass, but seriously do you want to go through with this? Can't you just humiliate him some other way?"

"No, no I can't, nothing else will do. This is going to break him for the last time, I'm going to win, I'm going to make him hate me once and for all"

"Why? So you can hate him back?"

"Because he's changed, he's not my Sebastian anymore"

"This is all because he's become a better person?" He raised his eyes to me.

"Yeah"

I walked off; I didn't need him telling me the dangers off this again. I knew what I was doing from the moment I thought this up. I know this is going to end my relationship forever with my curly haired step-brother.

"Kathryn there you are, I'm going"

"What? No you can't go, we only just got here"

"We got here 2 hours ago, so far you've been off snorting coke whilst I've been talking shit with random people, I'm bored, I'm tired, I'm going"

I can't lose him now; I'm so close I can't taste him.

"Let me entertain you then, you won't be so bored and then maybe you won't be so tired"

"And how do you suppose you'll do that?" He asked me, not knowing what I was about to do.

I pulled him upstairs and into Blaine's room, which I knew would be free, seeing as Blaine had told everyone to stay out of it or he'd shoot them. That applied to everyone bar me, because I knew Blaine wouldn't shoot me.

"Comfy are we Valmont?" I asked him as he sat back on the bed.

"Actually I'm quite uncomfortable"

"Why would that be brother dear?"

"The thought of Blaine screwing…guys on this bed, its just…disgusting"

Pouring a glass of bourbon for us both I giggled, it is quite disgusting to think of how many boys he had screwed on that bed.

Sebastian downed his drink, I watched him.

"So how are you going to entertain me exactly?" He asked.

You see some time ago, when Sebastian was…well when he was as cold as me, he would have known what I was up to right from the beginning he would have known the game I was playing at and he would have played back. But now that he had truly become a faggot and fell in love he was not able to see my games. Especially now that I had become extremely poisonous and ice, he surely couldn't read me now.

Even if my plan didn't work straight away tonight, I knew he would eventually fall for it. I knew no matter how much he's changed he'd never be able to resist me. I am Kathryn.

I swung my leg over him and sat in his lap, running my hands through my hair back and smiling at him. He smiled back for a few seconds, but it soon disappeared.

"What are you doing?"

"Having fun" I said, starting to kiss his neck.

His hands were placed on the small of my back as I rubbed against him and kissed his neck. I moved up to his lips and kissed him, the taste of Sebastian once again filled my mouth.

He groaned into my mouth as I grinded against him.

Come into my web Sebastian.

I bit his lip softly, playfully. His hands pushed down my hips onto his erection that was subsiding beneath me. He grabbed my hips and pushed me off, with all the roughness he used to have, then got on top of me.

Your turn Sebastian.

He pushed into me; I almost wish I was wearing no clothes. _Almost_.

Another groan escaped him, but it wasn't one of pleasure, it was of annoyance. Then I heard it his phone, he vibrated in his pants and as his hands were kind of caught beneath me I had no choice but to grab it for him.

I reached into the pockets of his pants and looked at the caller id, Isabelle. I flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Hey baby" He answered.

I could only just hear her voice, but I couldn't make sense of her words, they were not clear enough.

"I'm at Blaine's, he's having a party…Yeah…I'll be home soon, I love you"

If I wasn't completely dedicated to this plan I would have pushed him to the fucking floor for even using that word in my presence.

He looked me in the eye and then got off. For the first time ever, Sebastian blushed. Maybe because of what we had been doing and the fact that his girlfriend had called midway, but I couldn't be sure.

"I have to go, Isabelle is at home, uh…I guess I'll see you at home"

"Yeah whatever"

He left me all horny and wet.

I cursed myself for pulling his phone out in the first place, why didn't I just let it ring out and distract him?

I got up and went downstairs to find Blaine.

I didn't find him and I really couldn't be fucked with all these New York sluts and horny guys so I left for home.

When I got home I crept upstairs, I was half expecting to hear sex noises from Sebastian's room when I got to the top but I didn't. His door was open but there was no Isabelle, just him at his desk.

He must have heard me because he looked up at me. I walked in and sat on his desk right in front of him.

"I'm sorry"

"Me too"

Me too? What? That's a first.

"I was high, drunk even, I shouldn't have, I know you're in love with Isabelle"

"Yeah I shouldn't have let you, let's just forget it ever happened okay?"

"Okay"

We sat there in silence for probably 20 minutes, I watched him as he read through mail and sorted other unimportant things in my presence, eventually he just up, stripped into his boxers and climbed into bed. It's what he always used to do. Sometimes I would climb in bed with him and just let him hold me, simply because it comforted me. Other times I would sit at the end of the bed and watch him sleep, he always stirred in his sleep, then again he hardly ever slept, half the time when I watched him he was awake, just staring back at me. It's probably the only time we ever look at each that way.

After awhile I left for the comfort of my own bed.

Sebastian Valmont if only you knew what was coming.

* * *

**A/N: So it's school holidays now and I may have more time to write maybe, depending if I have other things to do.**

**I hope this chapter was alright, it's just the start of Kathryn's plan and like I full intend of breaking Sebastian, there's probably 5 chapters at the most left for this story and well at the end of it if people want, I may do a sequel, but as I just said, only if people want, because I'm not going to write something for like 2 readers, it's hardly worth the time, even though I enjoy people reading my stories.**

**When I get back to school I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to write because it's getting later in the school year and with that comes more school projects, assignments and homework, besides that I really have to focus.**

**  
So I'll try and update as much as possible over the holidays.**

**Please review if you read it, because like I check everyday and usually after a review I'll start writing as it like motivates me.**

**So yeah thanks.**


	14. Quatorze

_There's poison in my drinking glass  
Don't stop just sip it down  
And in a swirling masquerade of sound  
My body hits the ground  
I'm beautiful when I'm asleep  
Martini kisses land  
On my blistered bloody scarlet_

Martini Kiss - Senses Fail

* * *

I sat on my chair at my vanity mirror, while Mai-lee gave me a manicure, my nails were seriously in need of some work, they had chips in them and needed a new coat of nail varnish.

She was just about finished when Sebastian came in. I looked to Mai-Lee and ordered her to leave immediately, so I could chat to Sebastian alone, or rather play with him.

"Good morning brother, isn't it a lovely day?"

"Are you high Kathryn?"

Wow, a witty remark from him. That hadn't happened since before Annette.

"No, but how I wish I was, anyway what brings you into my lair?"

"Father rang, he's caught up in…Brazil I believe this time, and can't make it home for my birthday"

"Typical" I replied, checking my nails.

"Your mother also rang, she too told me that she was caught up, but in Bali and said she couldn't make it"

"Again, typical"

"So seeing as we have the house to ourselves, on the most wonderful day of the year, why don't we celebrate"

Sebastian's birthday. It seemed to come around quicker and quicker each year. It was one of my favourite days of the year, not that I'd ever admit that to anyone.

"Well I had planned something" I lied to him.

"You had?"

"But wouldn't you have plans with Isabelle?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I cancelled"

"Then cancel because what I have planned, you'll never forget"

He flipped out his phone 2 seconds later and cancelled any plans he had with Isabelle that night.

"What time should I be ready by?" He asked me.

"Around 8.00pm"

"Okay, see you then"

"Have a lovely day Valmont"

* * *

"How about this one?" I strutted out of the change room in a very revealing piece of lingerie.

I was in a fancy boutique that I adored. It was my favourite place to buy lingerie, everything was so sexy, but sassy. Blaine had accompanied me, but he hadn't known what we were doing at the time.

"Why did you ask me to come Kathryn? I'm fucking gay, you could walk out of there naked and I would still keep the same expression on my face"

"You're right, I should have got Court"

I changed into another piece of lingerie I had picked out. The baby pink lace bra hugged my breasts, only making them look twice as big as they were and the matching panties, well they were just a piece of their own. I decided on that one, it was the most expensive, but it was worth it.

"So what's the occasion for buying new lingerie? New boyfriend?"

"Nope, even better, Valmont's birthday?" I replied, smirking.

"So you're buying him lingerie?"

"No, I'm buying me lingerie to wear for him"

"I don't get it"

"It's all part of my plan" I started. "You see tonight, I told Sebastian to cancel his plans for I have planned something. Little does the prick know that I haven't planned anything but for a night of letting him continuously fuck me until he can't move anymore"

"You mean…" He started to say, but stopped.

"Yes I mean I'm going to let him have me"

"But Kathryn that's all you hold on him"

"It's also the only thing I know he wants from me, if I can use sex to bring me and him closer and screw up his relationship with Isabelle then I'll do it"

"You're cruel Kat" He shook his head at me.

"I know"

* * *

When I got home Isabelle was just leaving. She glared at me probably in jealousy as her boyfriend wanted to spend time with me rather than her.

I waved to her and blew the bitch a kiss as her car drove off.

"Almost ready Valmont? It's almost 8.00pm" I said, walking up the stairs.

"I just have to get dressed, where are we going?"

"No where"

"Then how do I know what to wear?"

"Just wear anything"

I went into my room and straight away stripped my clothes off of me and picked out a new dress to put on. It was red, Sebastian always loved when I wore red, and he thought it was sexy.

I put on the new lingerie I had bought especially for this occasion and then slipped on the dress. I looked over to my full length mirror and smiled to myself, if there was a human form of poison I'd be it.

Dressed in red, lips like blood, and looks that could kill.

My bedside clock read 8.00pm. Perfect timing.

I opened my door just as Sebastian opened his; we stared across the hall at each other, eying the other's choice of clothing for the night. He looked undeniably gorgeous as always, I was just hoping what he was wearing would be easy to get off; I sure know my outfit was.

"You look…spectacular" he commented, edging out of his room and into the hallway.

"Thanks, you don't look half bad yourself" I said, stepping out beside him.

We walked down the stairs into the dining room where I had the chef prepare us a meal. Sebastian looked a little surprised and a bit sick to the stomach.

"Don't worry Valmont I didn't cook it"

"Oh that's good then"

He smirked and sat down and began to eat.

After dinner I lead him into my bedroom and made him sit down on my bed. I poured us both a glass of champagne from the ice bucket it had been sitting in.

"Happy Birthday"

"Thanks"

We both downed down the champagne.

"So what are we doing in here Kat?" He said, helping himself to another glass.

"Well I thought…" I stopped and pushed him on to his back. I climbed on top of him and smiled at him. "…we could have a little fun"

I slid my hand down his pants, he wasn't hard yet, but that's nothing I couldn't change.

"Kat…" He said, clearly enjoying it.

My hand caressed his growing erection, touching it just the way I knew he loved. I tightened my grip and went excruciatingly slow, I watched his facial expression. His eyes were closed and he was biting down on his lip.

"Can I give you your birthday present?" I whispered into his ear.

"Yeah…mmm" He moaned.

I got off him, he sat up immediately, annoyed that I had stopped, but he tried not to show it.

"So where is it?" He asked me.

"Here"

"Where?"

The dress I had been wearing was then dropped to the floor, I told you it was easy to take off. Sebastian's mouth dropped. He had seen it all before, still every time he did he had the same reaction. His eyes wandered up and down my body.

"You like it?" I asked.

"We…Kathryn…I have a…" He started.

"Shh"

I kicked him backwards and kissed him. He didn't reciprocate for a few seconds, but then he gave in to me. One of his hands was on my back the other pulling me in closer.

I was now sitting on top of him; I could feel the hardness of his erection.

Sebastian's jacket, shirt and pants soon became discarded onto my floor.

I was about to take off the rest of my clothing and his when he suddenly pushed me off and got up.

He stood in front of my door running his hands through his curly blonde hair. He looked distressed or like he'd seen a ghost.

"Shit, this is wrong"

"Oh c'mon Sebastian, it's not that wrong, we're not blood related"

"No, no it's not that"

"It's Isabelle isn't it?"

"I can't, I love her"

"You're such a pussy"

I watched my Sebastian fade away, the fire in his eyes, the passion that we shared. I watched as it disappeared and the new Sebastian came back, the one who dared not to come near me.

"I have to go"

One last try Kathryn.

I stood up in front of him, against him almost. I picked up his clothing and looked into his eyes. If that's what you wish then so be it. I passed him the bundle of clothing that was his and kissed his neck.

"Then go" I said, standing brave.

He didn't go, he threw the clothing to the floor and picked me up, pinning me to the wall and kissing my neck like there was no tomorrow.

"Fuck you" He said as he kissed my neck.

"That's the idea"

Sebastian pulled my panties down to my ankles and tore off my bra. The feeling of Sebastian touching my bare skin was…I can't explain it. I didn't want him to, but at the same time it was what I had always wanted.

He took of his boxers and entered me slowly, you would of thought that I was a virgin the way he was treating me.

"I'm not a fucking virgin Valmont, fuck me, don't make love to me"

That got him fired up, he pushed into me hard, so hard that I actually shrieked. He was bigger than most I had had, but I soon became accustomed to the size of him inside of me.

He moaned into my ear, kissing my neck, biting it, licking it. I pulled his head up and kissed his lips. My tongue fought his in a battle. I bit his lip softly at first, until he went deeper and harder, then I couldn't help but bite harder, in fact I actually drew blood.

Call me sick, but the taste of Sebastian's blood made me even hornier, I licked the dribble of it that was slowly moving down his neck.

"Oh fuck" He groaned.

I couldn't help but scream this time, he was incredible, I never had doubts that he wouldn't be. But I never imagined him to be _that_ good, from what I had heard he was fucking fantastic, but this wasn't fantastic this was amazing.

* * *

I rolled over onto my side, there was a ringing coming from my bed, I think it was my cell phone. I got up from the floor where Sebastian and I had crashed last night after fucking what seemed like forever, when really it was like twice.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Did you?"

"I did" I smiled, even though Blaine, who was on the other end, couldn't see me.

"Is he still there?"

"Sleeping yes"

"Can I come over and catch him out?"

"Sure"

"Be there soon, keep him there"

"Okay, bye"

I sank back to the ground and watched Sebastian, he seemed so at peace when he slept, we all know that Sebastian barely ever slept. The boy was always staying up and writing, reading sometimes. He just never seemed to stop.

He stirred a bit when I caressed his face.

"Wake up Sebastian" I whispered.

Slowly Sebastian opened his eyes, at first I think he thought he was having a dream, because he seemed to just look around. Then I think he had no clue where he was, then his memory shot back and he knew exactly where he was and what he had been doing.

"Oh I didn't…" He started.

"You did, it was fantastic, I mean I never had my doubts, but god you're great Valmont"

He didn't look pleased.

"Fuck Kathryn! Why do you have to destroy everything!?"

"I didn't do anything, I told you to go! I let you go! You didn't go! You stayed!" I screamed back.

"I can't do this, not to Isabelle"

I shook my head and got up and went into my bathroom, fucking Sebastian, why couldn't he just change back. Then I wouldn't be in this situation I wouldn't be planning to hurt him.

He followed me in, as I turned on my shower, letting the water get to the temperature before getting in. I wasn't surprised too much when he got in with me, we still argued but hell he was showering with me.

"Why can't you just fuck with someone else!? Why'd it have to be me!?"

"I didn't see you rejecting me last night Sebastian so stop blaming this on me!"

"You knew I wouldn't be able to say no!"

"Actually I thought you were officially pussy whipped to be honest, I thought you'd lost all the bad in you"

I smiled at him, he tried to not smile back but he couldn't help it. His arms wrapped around my waist and he kissed my wet skin.

The door suddenly opened and it was then I wished that the person hadn't walked in.

"Oh dear" Blaine smiled.

Sebastian quickly got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around him.

"Stay Valmont please, I can go"

"No, it's okay, I'm meeting Belle for lunch anyway, see you Kat" He said as he walked away.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a robe around me.

"So how was it princess?" Blaine asked as I sat down on my bed.

"Fucking-fantastic" I replied.

* * *

Two dresses, five new tops, some new lingerie and a very expensive bracelet and I still wasn't satisfied. I had been shopping all day by myself, due to the lack of company.

"Ms Kathryn, your mother want you at party at Mrs. Rosemond she told me to tell you be there before 4.00 afternoon" Mai-Lee said in her broken English accent.

"Okay" I said, making my way to my bedroom to get ready.

I flung off the dress I had been wearing and put on a new one, something more elegant and party appropriate. I wasn't really in the mood for my mother, but I knew if I didn't go she would kill me later on when she got home, besides maybe there will be someone good to fuck.

"No, it's important to me. I can't believe you sometimes, I'm always doing things for you…I know…fine…goodbye" Sebastian's voice could be clearly heard from behind closed doors.

I heard something be thrown, more or less likely to be his cell phone. He yelled a bit, I think he was already expecting me to be at the party.

Sebastian looked so tired, I almost felt horrible for him. He looked pained and hurt.

"Something wrong?" I asked him as I stepped into his room, ready to go to the party.

"I didn't know you were here"

"I'm just about to leave actually, are you going?"

"Yeah"

I placed my purse down on his desk and sat beside him. He faintly smiled, the dimples at the corners of his mouth appearing slightly.

"Isabelle was meant to come. She said she can't make it, she's busy"

He confided in me, something Sebastian hadn't done in awhile, it was nice to just be able to talk to him, without fighting or hating him, I mean I still hated him and I still was bringing him down but I felt compassion for him at that moment, respect.

"Oh, well I'm sure Blaine will be there" I comforted him. "Just get ready, I'll be waiting in the limousine"

I waited for quite awhile before he eventually decided to grace me with his presence.

"Finally" I snarled, extremely pissed off now, I had no compassion left for him. I was furious as would my mother be when she notices I'm not there. It's past 4.00pm now; it's almost 4.30pm in fact.

"Sorry"

"So you should be! Do you know how furious my mother is going to be Sebastian? She'll kill me by the time we get there"

"I said I was sorry"

Sebastian locked his eyes on me; I noticed that they were red and puffy. Had he been crying? I had never really known Sebastian to cry. Not a lot anyway.

"Have you been crying Valmont?" It came out almost mockingly and I seriously didn't mean for it to.

"Shut up Kathryn"

"You have haven't you?"

"Kathryn just drop it"

He turned away from me and looked out the window. I pushed his face back so it was facing me.

"What's wrong?"

"Kathryn I swear if you just don't shut up I'll…I'll"

"You'll what? Never sleep with me again? Tell the world I'm a whore? Please Valmont you know you're powerless against me" I snickered.

"Just shut up okay?" He said almost with no passion.

"No, I want to know what's wrong" I demanded, grabbing his hand.

"If you must fucking know Kathryn because you're a nosy bitch, Isabelle and I have been fighting for days now. She's even almost broken up with me several times, you know why? It's because of you okay! I'm at a loss on what to do now, I love her and I'm losing her all because I'm weak to you" He blurted out, pulling his hand away at the last moment.

"Ms Merteuil, Mr Valmont we're here" The driver informed us.

I got out of the car and walked straight to the house, where I knew everyone would be now, seeing as it was dark.

I walked into the room and a lot of people turned around, I had made quite a lot of noise opening the doors.

"Kathryn Merteuil where the hell have you been!?" My mother came up to me and pulled me by the arm into a corner.

"I'm sorry mother, I convinced Sebastian to be here and well he took awhile" I apologised, even though I knew she would still yell and scream at me, even if it wasn't just yet.

She walked back over to her socialites and continued talking to them. I made my way around, peering through the crowd to find someone decent to talk to, maybe even go to bed with.

Then I found him. Dakota Valmont, he was standing over by the stairs talking to none other than Kelly Carmenti. I hated her, I hated her from the very moment she introduced herself to me.

Kelly was upbeat, cheerful, sweet, caring, kind and happy. She was always smiling and thinking positively. No one really liked her, she talked too much and frankly she was a bit of an idiot. She knew not much of anything at all.

The moment she came up to me, telling me how she admires me and that she'd love to be my best friend, I hated her.

"Good evening Dakota and Kelly" I greeted the two.

"Kathryn is that you! Oh my god, you're beautiful" Kelly stated, touching my hair and my hands.

I'm not a fucking Barbie doll get you're fucking hands off me.

"Thank you" I smiled at her. "Dakota can I talk to you?"

"Excuse me Kelly" He said to Kelly as I lead him upstairs.

"What were you doing with her?" I asked, almost jealous.

"She seems nice, a bit chatty, but sweet" He said, brushing back my hair.

"You're too good for her Dakota" I said, kissing him.

He kissed me back and we were silent for a few moments.

"Then who do you suppose is?" He asked me, pulling back.

Me, I'm fit for you. I'm perfection, you're perfection, we're perfection. But I dare not say it.

"I don't know"

* * *

**A/N: So it's an update, not much to say here really.**

**Though I may not be updating as often during the next week, I'm going to be a bit busy.**

**But enjoy and please review.**


	15. Quinze

_I climb, I slip, I fall  
Reaching for your hands  
But I lay here all alone  
Sweating all your blood_

Breathe - Paramore

* * *

BANG!

"What the hell was that?" I said to myself, jumping up from my bed where I had been catching up on some reading.

Smash. Crash. Bang.

My first and only guess was Sebastian. Though throwing things at walls, slamming doors and cracking hissy fits was more of my personality, he had been known to crack quite a few in the time I had known him.

"Fuck!" I heard him yell, it was much clearer then before so I think he had opened his door.

Then I saw mine open, it swung back and crashed against the wall of my bedroom. Idiot, didn't he know those doors had been custom made for my bedroom.

"What the fuck is your problem Sebastian! Those are custom made doors you fucking idiot!"

"Where's that bottle of vodka I kept in my bar Kathryn! Hmm! Where the hell is it!"

Wow, he was either really angry, or was in the mood for some real drinking, because he never questioned me on anything I took from his bar, what was his was mine in the alcohol respect.

"You said I could take anything I wanted" I said to him, walking towards him.

"Well did you have to take that bottle!? Why couldn't you fucking take the champagne or the wine!?" He yelled at me.

"Because I felt like vodka, god Sebastian what the fuck is with you!?"

"Is there any left?" He asked me with an _almost_ civil voice.

"No"

"FUCKING HELL!"

I touched his face with the hand that wasn't holding the book and looked into his eyes. Calm down Sebastian, you're scaring me.

"Calm down Valmont"

"Get your fucking dirty hands off me!" He yelled, swiping away my hand. I was used to it.

I bent down and pulled out a bottle of brownish liquid from my cupboard. It's something I had bought over in Sweden or something almost 4 years ago, it was rumoured to be really strong, I had never drank it only because I'd never really wanted to be so drunk to be completely numb.

"Here"

"What is it?" He asked me, snatching the bottle from my hand.

"I don't know exactly, I bought it from over seas, it's very strong apparently, but the guy I bought it from told me to drink it slo-" I didn't finish my sentence before he opened it and drank almost half the bottle without stopping.

"Sebastian! Are you stupid! That stuff can kill you if you drink it too fast!" I yelled at him, stealing the bottle from his hands.

The book I had been reading was now carelessly thrown to the floor. Right now I had bigger things to deal with.

"Good, let it kill me" He whispered, slumping to the floor and resting his head in his hands.

He started to sob; the soft sound of Sebastian sobbing was all that was heard in my room. I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I was never much good at comforting people, so I sat beside him and just shut up.

After probably half an hour of sitting there Sebastian had stopped sobbing, but he was half passed out. He was sweating incredibly and his face was flushed immensely.

"Sebastian, why do you want to hurt yourself so badly?" I asked, maybe in his alcoholic state he wouldn't be able to hear me.

"Ishabelllllllllleeee" He extended the word so long that I almost laughed. "She broke up with me" He managed to get out, with only the slightest bit of slur.

Yes, this is how you want it Kathryn.

"Oh" I replied. I wasn't feeling guilty; I had no sympathy for him at all.

Then he reached into his jacket pocket, he fumbled around for a few seconds then attempted to pull out something. When his first attempt failed he tried again. Then he got it.

In his hands was a small blue velvet box. I could only guess what was in there, but I was positive what I was thinking was right.

Sebastian opened it up and inside was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It wasn't one of those tacky rings with an oversized diamond in the middle. It was small, simple but elegant. It would have looked spectacular on Isabelle's petite fingers.

"Wow" It was the only thing that I could get to come out of my mouth.

"I didn't…get a chance toooooooo ask her" He stated, putting the ring in his hands and admiring it.

"It's stunning Sebastian" I commented, I was jealous.

It was then I felt guilty. I felt horrible. I wanted to take it all back.

"Here" He said. He grabbed my hand and extended my slender fingers and put the ring on my middle finger, the only finger it would fit on. "Yours" He said, before slumping to the ground.

Mine? It looked good on me, but I still think Isabelle would have looked better with it. Which was amazing for me to even admit to myself because, usually I thought everything looked better on me.

I watched his limp body curl up. He looked so fragile even to me, eyes red and puffy; his mouth didn't even have an expression anymore. His eyes were a dull blue-grey, with no passion, no fire, no emotion anymore. He looked lifeless in his state and he could have been mistaken for it too. What had I done?

My beautiful, broken Sebastian.

* * *

"So he just gave it to you? That's hard for even me to believe Kathryn" Blaine said, admiring the ring on my finger.

When Sebastian passed out I had watched him for probably two whole hours, making sure he was okay, still breathing. He was, so I went to have shower. When I came back he was gone. I checked his bedroom and he was not there.

Straight away I called Blaine, thinking that maybe Sebastian had gone there to cry to Blaine. But as I thought of it more, it was more unlikely, as Sebastian wouldn't show that kind of emotion to anyone except me.

When Blaine notified me that he had not heard from Sebastian in a few days, I knew I had to talk to Blaine. I was worried.

"Well yeah, I mean he was extremely drunk"

"Still…" He commented.

I pondered on my own thoughts. Where could he go?

His car had been gone, his keys weren't there, so my best suggestion was he had driven to wherever he was going.

God I had even called Isabelle, even though at the sound of my voice I could basically feel the amount of hate through the phone. I even explained to her what Sebastian had done, she didn't care. She called him all sorts of profanities and then started on me. When she got to "Kathryn you're a dirty whore who sleeps with other people's boyfriends for your own amusement" I just hung up. I'd heard it all before.

"I should go and see if he's at home" I said, getting up, I checked my phone, no calls.

Blaine waved me off and I left in the limousine. I was thinking about him when I thought about the first time we met. It was at his house, but his old house.

"Excuse me, can we change plans and go to…" Damn it Kathryn where was it? "Actually you know what let me out, I'll walk" I said, I could walk there; I certainly knew how to get there by foot.

The driver let me out and I quickly looked at the street signs. I knew where I was, I wasn't far. I hurried along the foot paths, pushing people out of my way. Stupid.

Then I reached the house. It wasn't right in the middle of civilisation, it had a garden. The house was in magnificent condition still. It looked as perfect as it did the day I first saw it. I remembered Sebastian telling me that his dad never sold it, he just went and bought a new house, so either Sebastian was there all alone, or he just wasn't there at all.

"Hello?" I yelled, my voice echoed through the large house.

No answer, the house was extremely big and it would take me hours to search it probably.

"Look Sebastian I know you're upset, but can we just talk" Still no answer.

Oh no, the alcohol. I had left it on my bedside table, I didn't see it when I got out of the shower. Oh fuck he had taken it. Oh no, oh crap.

"Sebastian please answer me!" I yelled.

No answer. Was he even here? Could he be dead? Did I kill him already?

My thoughts were getting to me, I started to get more worried by the minute. Tears ran down my face. No Sebastian.

"Fuck Sebastian. I'm worried sick, I'm fucking crying for you! Where the hell can you be!?" I ran my hands through my hair.

Think Kathryn think.

A hand touched my back, at first I was startled and then I knew it was him.

"Don't cry" He slurred.

"Sebastian" I couldn't help but smile, I latched onto him and sobbed into him. I found him.

"It's okay I'm here now" He whispered, brushing through my hair with his hands.

I realised how pathetic I must have looked and I pulled away getting up.

"You scared the hell out of me Sebastian! Why do you have to be so stupid sometimes! You could have killed yourself!" I yelled. Then I noticed a tinged red bandage around his hand. "What did you do?" I asked him, worried that he might have attempted to kill himself already.

"I tripped and fell into a mirror, its okay I'm fine"

You're not fine Sebastian, when I get through with you I'm going to fucking kill you for making me cry for you.

"I have to call Blaine" I stated, pulling out my cell phone.

I walked out of the room and dialled his number. "Hello?"

"Hey did you find him?"

"Yeah, he's pretty drunk and he claims to have tripped, he's got a nasty gash on his hand but I think he's okay" I gave him the details.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"C'mon Kathryn I saw the look on your face, you were sick with worry"

"I was not"

"Fine, I'll see you later"

I hung up. Yeah I was wasn't I?

* * *

Ever since that day I've kept a close eye on Sebastian, he's still pretty miserable and I haven't yet tried to continue with my plan. I always look at the ring on my finger and think of Isabelle.

I have to do something about this, it's not fun if I just get Sebastian.

I rang Isabelle's number.

"Hello?"

"Isabelle it's Kathryn"

"God can't you just leave me alone! You have him already, go play your perverted games with him okay!" She yelled into the phone.

"Look that's not what I'm calling about, in fact I'm actually calling to meet up with you. We need to talk"

We arranged a meeting point for today; Sebastian would have to be on his own for an hour or so. I needed to do this for him.

When I arrived at the spot she wasn't there, or at least I couldn't see her. I scanned the crowd several times, and then I got angry. The nerve of the bitch to stand me up. But then she appeared.

"What do you want Kathryn, make it quick. I have a hair appointment"

"Sebastian is miserable"

"Good"

"Well aren't you nice" I snickered.

"Look whatever you're playing at just stop okay. You've done enough already, you've won Kathryn, you have him" She looked defeated. I could see in her eyes that she was just as miserable as Sebastian.

I know I'm going to break them up anyway, but Sebastian needs her until he breaks up with her. He can't be miserable around me, because then I can't move on with my plan.

"That's not why I'm here. The other day, when you broke it off with Sebastian he came home and he was furious. He was slamming doors and smashing things, cursing" I paused.

"Sounds like him, so what's your point?"

"Let me finish. He came into my room, well barged into my room rather, he pushed my door back so far that it almost broke. He yelled at me for taking the bottle of vodka from his room. Sebastian never yells at me for taking alcohol from his room, ever"

"So what Kathryn, he yelled at you, now can I go?" She seemed impatient.

"I didn't have the vodka anymore and he seemed upset so I let him have my bottle of alcohol I had in my room. I'm not sure what it was, it's something from over seas, but it's extremely strong and can kill you if you drink it too fast and too much. He drank half a bottle in less than a minute. Sebastian is never stupid like that"

"So? He was angry at me, he didn't die" She seemed to be listening more now.

"After that he passed out, I went to shower and when I came back he was gone and so was the rest of the alcohol. I went to his room to see if he was there but he wasn't, neither were his keys to his car. I checked at Blaine's and he wasn't there. I eventually found him, he had claimed to have tripped over and fell into a mirror, but I don't know. He had a rather nasty looking gash on his hand. Isabelle he could have killed himself"

She was silent and still and the look on her face was one of shock. She seemed almost guilty for breaking up with him.

"I didn't…I mean I thought he didn't love me anymore"

I took the ring off my finger and fingered it for a second. I loved the ring, but rightfully it was hers and she deserved to know how much Sebastian really loves her.

"He was going to propose to you that day you know. With this ring. He was drunk and confessed to me, and then gave me the ring. I love the ring and in any other circumstance I would keep it, but I love Sebastian, he is my best friend and I hate seeing him like this. So here, just think about what it's doing to both of you" I said, passing her the ring I adored.

She looked at it, tears in her eyes and then she left.

What was I doing? I never felt compassion for anyone? Yet Sebastian because of his state had made me confront his girlfriend and give her the ring and tell her how miserable he was. Was I becoming soft?

When I got back Isabelle was there, in his bedroom. I saw them talking, he seemed…happier. I was jealous for the slightest of moments. She turned around and saw me, a flicker of a smile on her face. She should be on her fucking knees thanking me right now.

I wanted to listen in, I wanted to scream at them, but I wanted him to be happy. My plan was going to happen, but it's no fun if he's not himself. It'd just take a little more time. Its okay it's not like they're getting married yet anyway.

"YES!" A screech. From Isabelle most likely.

I knew he had just proposed to her.

* * *

Look I'm not really a jealous person, especially when it comes to guys. But Sebastian had always been mine, no matter what anyone else says. From the moment we met, we knew we'd get along.

But right now, as I'm watching Sebastian and Isabelle's engagement party from the balcony of my hotel room, I can only define one emotion and that is pure jealousy.

It's stupid really, I was the one who got them back together, I was nice enough to call Isabelle up and tell her everything. I found Sebastian, I bothered to worry and I bothered to look after him. She didn't even care. So what if she thought that he didn't love her, he did and she should have known that.

I vacated the party just half an hour after it started, I couldn't stand being polite anymore. I was in a foul mood, people kept coming up to me and congratulating me on my brother getting engaged and then them. Sebastian and Isabelle, they were constantly smiling, cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. They looked…happy.

So I left for my room. At least I wouldn't have to worry about being kind to people and here I could drink my way into tomorrow.

"Congrats dear brother, it'll end soon enough" I said to myself as I downed my fourth glass of champagne.

Even Blaine was down there being all cheery with them. He certainly did look like a fag down there, congratulating them and sharing things with them. Wishing them well. Faggot, you were supposed to be on my side. You are supposed to hate the new Sebastian.

Sebastian must have been fucking happy when he wrote those invites; either that or he was on drugs, because he even invited Annette to the party. Yeah, Annette fucking Hargrove was here. The last thing I needed, miss purity with all her morals and holy speak.

I told you, I was in a foul mood.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Before Annette I had always thought Sebastian and I would always be two of a kind, two peas in a pod. I thought I'd be the only girl he ever loved. The only girl he adored and cherished, the one who was always on his mind, the one he'd never forget.

But then Annette changed him, she destroyed him. My Sebastian was gone, long gone. I always thought Sebastian and I would end up together in a crazy world.

We'd be content in destroying everyone around us, playing, scheming, ruining. We'd be happy in our selves, in love with each other and only each other, but we'd never admit it. We'd be together forever; he would be the only guy I fuck and I the only girl he fucks.

I even thought sometimes that maybe I'd even have children with him. I hate kids, but I had even considered it. The child would be perfect. Angelic face, golden hair, a mix of blue and green eyes, perfect features, petite body, there was no doubt that a child consumed from Sebastian and I would be beautiful.

It all changed after Annette, after rehab. Then Isabelle, I'd never seen him happier. He had changed, but he had this unfamiliar smile. One I'd never seen before. Did he really love me at all? Was I kidding myself to ever think that Sebastian and I could ever really be together?

I turned around and slumped on my bed. It was depressing being all by myself.

I flipped open my cell and scrolled through all my contacts.

"Alex, Andrew, Andrea, Anthony, Blaine, Cameron, Candice, Carrie, Chad, Clyde, Connor, Dakota" I stopped at Dakota.

I knew he'd be down at the party, but I'm sure he'd be sick of it.

It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Kathryn? Where are you?" He asked me as he answered.

"Hey, um I'm up in my room"

"Why? Are you feeling ill?"

"No, I just got bored. Why don't you come up, we can have some fun" I giggled.

He paused I was certain he would say yes.

"I can't, I'm with someone. I'll talk to you later" Then he hung up.

Who could he possibly be with that was better than me! Anger ran through me, I had been dumped by both Valmont boys.

I looked out to my balcony and on the downstairs party. Scanning the crowd. Blaine was still talking to the happy couple, my mother was with her socialite friends, and Edward was chatting up a waitress. I couldn't see Dakota. I looked everywhere and then finally he caught my eye.

Dakota was over by a secluded area, hidden by the shadow, but still it was light enough to see it was him. But he wasn't alone as I already knew. He was with Kelly Carmenti. That bitch.

The champagne glass that had been in my hand was thrown to one side of the room, the liquid creeping down the wall. I was now furious. How could he! With her! I told him he was so much better than her, she didn't deserve him.

I don't want Dakota, I just…I just…I'm selfish and everything has to be mine. I'm an only child and I'm a spoilt brat, but I don't care. The Valmont's are my men, not anyone else's.

I need something to bring Sebastian and Dakota to me.

"That's it" I said to myself.

If I hurt myself they would love me, they'd want me. Maybe it was the alcohol affecting me by then that sparked that idea, or it was just my jealousy and anger running through me. But the idea was good, it'd hurt but it was good.

I picked up a piece of the frail champagne glass that I had smashed. It was sharp and dangerous but delightful.

It sliced my skin with ease as I pushed it into my skin. It stung, it burned, but it was going to be worth it in the end.

The crimson liquid started to drip from my arm; everything seemed to be in slow motion. The room spun, my eyes became threatened by tears. I held onto my wrist, in some sort of attempt to stop the god damn pain. But it didn't work; I was stupid to think that it ever would.

If only I could reach my phone.

The blood was not dripping anymore, it was freely flowing. I wasn't a fan of blood really, especially my own. It freaked me out a lot. Last time I remember bleeding this much and actually being able to see it was a few years back. I had smashed my mirror and Sebastian came in to see what was happening. When I tried to throw something at him I tripped and fell on the smashed glass pieces. I was cut up pretty badly and I was bleeding a lot.

Right now the blood was gushing. I reached for my phone and pressed the first speed dial I could reach. It just happened to be Sebastian. Out of all the speed dials I have on my phone it had to be Sebastian. I couldn't have rung Dakota, or Andrew, no it was Sebastian.

"Hello?" I heard him laugh and excuse him self.

"Sebastian?" I said weakly, I had cut myself two more times on the same wrist by then.

"Kathryn? Where are you?"

""I'm…I'm…" I swallowed thickly, sweat built up on my forehead. Not a good idea anymore.

"You're where? Kat I can't hear you speak up" He said.

"In my…hotel…room" I said, putting my wrist between my legs.

"Why the hell are you there? Why are you calling me?" He asked.

I was becoming weaker and I couldn't even hold myself up anymore. I collapsed to the floor full of broken glass. I could feel the glass penetrate my skin. Mostly the side of my face I had fallen on and a bit of my leg.

"Kathryn?" He questioned. "Are you there? Hello?"

"Sebastian…I'm…b...leedi…help" I whispered into the phone, whether or not he heard me I wasn't sure, because I dropped the phone and closed my eyes.

A tear crept from under my eye lids. Pain.

"Kathryn? Hello? Kathryn what the hell is going on!?" He yelled through the phone, it was next to me, but I couldn't speak. My voice just wouldn't come out. Otherwise I would have yelled at him to come and get me and hurry.

I heard him murmur something to someone who was asking questions. But then he got back on the phone.

"Kat, I'm serious, what the hell is going on? Are you okay?"

No, no I'm fucking not.

"I'm coming up Kathryn" He said and hung up.

Save me.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I had time. I didn't know if I would or not, but I managed to write you all another chapter. Just because I love you all so much.**

**Review, hit that submit button and write me something. Even if it's just a well done, or a good chapter, or even your chapter sucked. I'll be sure to put replies to you all in my next instalment if you do review. **


	16. Seize

_Friend, can't you see I'm trying to help you out  
But ur mind is stuck on things that leave you adrift with broken wings  
You, wanna talk about God Philosophy  
I don't think there's anything wrong_

Peachy - Family Force 5

* * *

A place only too familiar to me was the ceiling of a hospital and as I awoke again to find my self staring up at the plain white ceiling I wondered what I had done to be here. I wasn't in too much pain, a slight sting from my wrist was all.

There was a bandage though. It was white, clean, fresh.

I remembered what I had done. The glass. The blood. The call.

_Save me_.

I sat up, pulling my wrist to my chest limply. It was hurting a bit, but nothing I couldn't keep under control.

The door to my room opened. Truthfully I expected Sebastian and I honestly wanted it to be him. When I didn't see a tall handsome man there I thought Dakota. But Dakota didn't have long, silky dark hair and he didn't look stunningly gorgeous.

"Kathryn you're awake"

Isabelle.

She placed a fresh vase of flowers on my bedside table and sat in the chair.

"We were all so worried about you. Sebastian has gone home to sleep. He's been up all night waiting for you to wake. I told him and Dakota that I'd stay here and I'd call them when you wake"

Did she actually think I liked her or something?

"How are you feeling?" She paused; I didn't even get a chance to answer. "Actually don't answer that, it was stupid"

Damn right it was. How did she expect me to feel? All happy and chirpy that her and my step-brother are getting married? Fat chance, I was furious still, I hurt, I wanted to scream at her and make her go away.

"You're getting out of here hopefully today, I'm quite sure you're not on suicide watch" She said, staring at me with those eyes of hers.

Suicide watch? I wasn't trying to kill myself, just directing attention to myself, attention that I was dieing for.

"I'm so glad that we're talking Kathryn, I hope we can be friends, that whole Sebastian thing was stupid. I mean a relationship between you and him? What a stupid thing to think. I'm sorry"

Okay that was it, she actually thought I was going to forget about it all and just be friends with the both of them. For fuck sakes she pushed me down a flight of stairs and tried to kill me. There was no way I would ever fucking be friends with her, there was no way I would just stop my plan so I can cherish the happy couple as much as everyone else did.

"Look bitch, I'm not your friend and I never will be. I don't want to be, so don't expect me to be. I hate you, I hate Sebastian and I hate this happy couple thing. I only got you together so I can break you up again. My plan is going good, Sebastian will fall for me once again and then he will hurt you and come to me, because I always win sweetie. I'm Kathryn and what I want I get and that includes Sebastian. He is mine and he always will be no matter what you think. Enjoy being his fiancé honey because things will be fucked up from now on" I smiled at her. "I'm glad we had this chance to straighten things out"

She looked astonished that I was so mean; she should have known me better. I was not some high school debutante.

"You're not going to break us up Kathryn. I love him and he loves me"

"You keep telling yourself that sweetheart"

"Fuck you Kathryn, I'm going to tell him what you're planning to do"

"Go ahead he'll never believe you, I'm his Kathryn, he loves me, he adores me"

She stormed out of my room and I sat back with a satisfied smile on my face. She's going to be paranoid now and she'll probably be spending all her time with him so he doesn't spend any time with me. Hell she may even tell him she wants to get married tomorrow, thinking that I'm not that cruel. But I have news for her, I am. They get married and it won't stop me.

* * *

"Is there anything I can get you?" Sebastian asked me.

We were on our way back to the house in the limousine. Dakota and Isabelle were with us so it was hard to do anything, but I could try.

"I…I" I stuttered.

"Tell me Kat, here whisper it to me" He said, letting go of his fiancé's hand and sitting beside me. Dakota looked at me, he was sitting on the other side of me.

"I don't want to be alone Sebastian, I might do it again" I whispered into his ear.

He can't resist me, he couldn't lose me.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you" He whispered back, moving back next to Isabelle.

"Driver can we stop by Isabelle's house please?"

"Yes Mr Valmont"

"What? Why are we going to mine? I thought I was going to yours?" She said.

"Well Kathryn has been through a lot and she needs me right now, I won't have time today, but we'll do something tomorrow okay?"

"But…she's just…fine" Isabelle complained to him.

We dropped Isabelle off at her house and then it was just Dakota, Sebastian and me in the car, both men watched me as if I was going to kill myself right then and there.

"I'm going to go see Kelly, so I'll see you two later tonight" Dakota announced as we arrived at the house.

I felt like yelling at him to stay with me, but they'd both find it strange if I wanted them both here. So I let him go, he wasn't the one I was after, he wasn't that one I was planning on destroying.

"So what do you want to do?" Sebastian asked me once we had reached my bedroom. Did he even have to ask?

I looked him straight in the eye, this would take a lot from me. Sebastian can read me, he can see straight through a lot of my lies. Tread carefully Kathryn.

"I just want to talk" I told him.

He sat down on my bed and I layed down. My feet reached over his lap and immediately he started to massage them.

After about 10 minutes of pure silence he spoke.

"Why did you do it?" He asked me, honestly I was shocked.

"Do what?"

"Why did you try and kill yourself Kathryn?"

He stopped massaging and looked at me, staring into me.

"I didn't try and kill myself Sebastian I was taking away pain" I uttered to him.

"Pain?"

"Yes emotional pain"

He layed down next to me and we both stared up at the ceiling. I could hear his heart beat almost, it was unsteady and was off beat. Maybe he was nervous for what I was about to say. I think he already knew but he was just hiding it.

"What emotional pain?"

"You"

Boom. Boom. It gets quicker, his heart beat fastens. Boom. Boom. Boom.

"Excuse me?" He asks.

I sat up and looked at him, piercing him with my eyes.

"I'm in love with you Sebastian. Ever since we…had sex I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I can't help it and when I saw you down at that party, being happy with Isabelle I knew I couldn't stand up to her, I knew I wasn't better than her…" I paused and swallowed back tears, fake tears of course. "I knew you wanted her and not me"

He looked stunned he didn't say anything, he just sat there looking at me with this expression that I can't explain, he wasn't shocked, I think he always knew. But he looked…astonished maybe, astonished that I had admitted it to him.

I got off the bed and walked quickly to my bathroom and slammed the door. Once behind closed doors I smirked to myself, well done Kathryn. Then I heard him knock. I put on the water works just in time before he opened the door to me, I was now sobbing.

He didn't say anything and he wouldn't look me in the eye, so I turned on my shower and kept crying.

"Kathryn…I…" He started.

"I know…you don't love me" I cried, pulling off my top.

He was silent.

I pulled a sharp object out of my pocket, it was a piece of glass that I had found on my bathroom vanity. I looked at him, he wasn't looking at me then got prepared to hurt myself again.

"What the hell are you doing Kathryn! Don't!" He yelled at me, just before it hit my skin.

The glass dug into me but he snatched it from me before I had time to make it deep enough and big enough to bleed enough.

"Give it back Sebastian!" I screamed at him.

He didn't. He threw it out into my bedroom at the wall and it smashed into smaller pieces. My shower was still running but I wasn't really fussed, I started to take of my skirt but he stopped me.

"Kathryn…I" I stopped him.

"I know Sebastian…I know! I fucking know!" I screamed, crying.

"Don't cry Kathryn, please"

His lips touched my wrist, softly, carefully. It almost healed the pain.

I pushed him off and kept crying, I think I could have even believed myself if I wasn't laughing so much on the inside.

He started to strip, his shirt, his pants, his shoes, socks, underwear. Oh god, Sebastian stop. He can't get in here with me, I'll have to give in.

"What are you doing?" I cried.

"Getting in"

"No you're not" I stated.

But he got in, even after I told him not to. He got in and my shower was quite big so there was plenty of room. I tried to stay away.

His eyes bored into me, burning holes into me. I knew he was wanting to kiss me, I could feel the tension. I always knew what Sebastian was thinking and now was no different.

Sebastian's hand reached my waist and he pulled me in to him, we weren't body against body, but we were fairly close. I could almost hear his heart beat. To my surprise he wasn't hard, yet.

"I'm sorry" He whispered as he leant in to my ear.

The water ran down my back, dripping slowly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" He whispered again, pulling me in slowly, closer.

"I would never intentionally hurt you Kathryn, you know that" His husky voice said to me.

His warm lips connected with my skin. Brushing against my neck, not kissing it, just hovering above it.

Then he pulled my head up towards him and kissed me. The way he used to.

"Sebastian…" I moaned, inside I was disgusted with myself for becoming this involved.

Then he backed away. He stopped and looked at me, his back against the shower wall. I was left standing under the shower head, I had no expression because I didn't know what to do.

"Fuck it" He muttered to himself, loud enough that I could hear and moved towards me, kissing me once again, this time with more passion, more need.

We kissed like that for a few minutes before he stopped again. He put his head in his hands and groaned.

"I can't do this, not now Kathryn. I don't want to hurt you"

Don't worry Sebastian you'll be back.

He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around him before heading to his bedroom. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. But they weren't ones that I had intentionally put on. They were real.

Stop crying Kathryn. Why are you crying? You don't love him.

I sunk to the ground in all my glory and hugged me knees, sobbing to myself under the shower, the hot water still running. My razor was above me on a shelf in my shower, it was sharp. For some reason I felt the need to hurt myself.

I'd never wanted to before, but it seemed the right thing to do, only this time I wasn't doing t for attention, I was doing it because Sebastian.

It sliced my skin with ease, not as deep as the glass but it was still making me bleed. The blood dripped from my skin and mixed in with the water and washed down the drain.

I watched as the crimson liquid flowed from my arm to the ground. A mix of water and blood.

I was disturbed though by someone calling my name and I knew it was Dakota. I had no time to run or clean up.

"Oh Kathryn not again" He muttered, almost disappointed in me.

He turned off the water and picked me up, even though I was dripping wet and his expensive suit was being ruined, he didn't care, he didn't care that the blood from my wrists was staining his white shirt. All he cared about was me.

Dakota sat me on my bed and wrapped a towel around my wrist to stop the bleeding. I couldn't look at him.

"Why Kathryn?"

"I don't want to talk about it" I said.

"Please Kathryn" He asked, holding the towel in placed.

I pushed him backwards and he stumbled and fell to the floor. I got up and removed the towel from my wrist, throwing the blood soaked towel to the floor.

"Just leave me the fuck alone. I'm fine, I'll be fine!" I screamed, I didn't even know where this anger was coming from.

Sebastian must have heard me scream because he barged into my room, dressed and looking clean, only to find me wet and naked.

"Kathryn what the hell…no" He said as he saw the cut on my wrist, the one that was still dripping with blood.

He pulled me off the bed and wrapped me up in a robe, holding me.

"Dakota go get Mai-Lee" He told Dakota sternly. He obeyed.

"I'm fine Sebastian, I'm fine, just leave me alone" I told him hitting on his chest.

"You're not fine Kathryn, you need help" He said, kissing my forehead.

Dakota returned with Mai-Lee. I remember the time when I slipped and cut myself real bad on the glass Mai-Lee had come and tended to me until an ambulance arrived.

Mai-Lee, cleaned and bandaged my wrist, Dakota and Sebastian had walked out of the room to talk. I knew they were talking about me, they didn't have to. I didn't care.

"There you go Ms. Kathryn"

I shooed Mai-Lee off and waited till the Valmont boys returned.

"Kathryn we need to talk" Sebastian told me, I was mid-way through getting my night gown on.

"I don't want to talk, I don't need to talk. I'm fine" I said, pulling the night gown down.

"Kathryn…please" Dakota's voice was so soothing. I had to listen to him.

I sat down on the bed and the two boys sat in the chairs opposite my bed. They almost looked scary in the darkness of the room. I didn't know what they were going to say.

"We think…Dakota and I think that you need therapy Kat"

"WHAT!" I screamed, immediately getting up. "I am not fucked up Sebastian, I don't need therapy I'm fine!"

"Please Kathryn just listen to us. We're worried about you. I'm worried about you. We don't want you to hurt yourself anymore" Dakota said to me getting up and holding my hand.

"I'm not going to kill myself! I don't need therapy okay, now both of you just get out!"

Dakota grabbed a hold of me, I tried to fight him off, punching him, slapping him, kicking, screaming, yelling. But nothing seemed to work. He just held me still, waiting until I calmed down. I started to cry and Dakota sat me on my bed.

Sebastian came over to me and held my face gently.

"Kathryn I…"

"I fucking know Sebastian you don't need to repeat it, you don't love me! Fine! Just get the fuck out of my face! Both of you!" I screamed back.

Sebastian was going to say something but Dakota looked him in the eye and Sebastian just shut up. He didn't say anything and just turned around. Dakota looked at me, pleading me with his eyes.

"Just go" I said faintly.

He left me.

"THERAPY! FUCKING THERAPY!" I yelled to no one.

My cell phone rang, I grabbed it and was tempted to throw it at the wall, but it could have been some one important.

"What!" I yelled into the phone after picking it up.

"Whoa, god Kathryn, calm down it's only me" Blaine replied.

"Fuck you Blaine, what the hell do you want?"

"Actually I was wondering if we could talk?" He asked.

"Fine, whatever"

"I mean in person, why don't you come over"

"Okay, I need to get out of here anyway"

I hung up and put on a jacket.

When I got to Blaine's it was about 10.00pm, he'd probably be smoking his nightly joint by now. I had taken my time getting there, I had stopped in at a shop to buy a new dress, shopping always soothed me some how.

"Tuttle!" I yelled out. "Tuttle you faggot"

I opened his bedroom door, but Blaine wasn't the only one sitting in the room. Another male was seated on a seat, his back facing me, it looked an awful lot like Sebastian from behind. Then he turned around.

"Oh no, I'm not going to stay here, not with him!" I turned around but was met with Dakota, he grabbed my arm firmly and forced me into the room, locking the door behind us.

"Sit" He said firmly.

I sat down across from Sebastian and next to Blaine. I didn't look anyone in the eye, I kept my eyes facing the floor.

"Kathryn you know why we asked you here yes?" Dakota asked me.

I didn't answer.

"We care about you Kat, we just want you to be safe" Blaine said, showing the most compassion towards me then he ever had.

I looked up, Sebastian wasn't looking at me, I don't think he could. Every time I saw him even glimpse my way he'd go back to staring at his hands.

"I don't need therapy. I'm fine" I replied.

"Sebastian I think it's your turn to talk" Dakota said, patting his brother on the back.

That was the first time since I had arrived that Sebastian looked at me straight in the eye. His eyes locked on mine, looking within me. He never broke my gaze.

"I love you Kathryn, you mean everything to me. I could never lose you, I'd be a mess without you, I was a mess without you when I thought you were dying. I don't want to see you like this anymore, I can't see you like this" He stopped and looked away, I saw him wipe his eyes. "It hurts me that you'd want to hurt yourself" He leaned in closer and took my hand, holding it in his and caressing it softly. "We are not saying that you need help, but maybe you need someone to talk to about this, about your feelings"

Shut up. I don't need help.

"Fine, I'll go to fucking therapy, if you all just stop harassing me!"

"Thank you Kathryn, you don't know how much this means to me" Sebastian said, kissing my hand.

"Don't do that" I told him, pulling my hand away from him.

I looked at Blaine and then to Dakota. I wanted them to leave and Blaine could see that. So he stood up and patted Dakota's shoulder.

"Let's give them some time to talk" Blaine said as he walked out the door with Dakota following.

Once they had left Sebastian moved to the seat next to me, he grabbed my hand again and held it firmly, caressing the top with his thumb gently.

"Stop it" I whispered.

He turned to me and let go of my hands, gently pushing my face towards his with his hand. His hand rested underneath my chin, he looked into me. He went to move in and kiss my lips but I turned my head away and looked down.

"Don't do that" I whispered.

"Why not?" He asked me.

"You don't love me Sebastian, nothing more than a sister anyway. I don't want to be fooled around. I'm not going to be fooled around"

I wanted to laugh in his face. This had been a good idea to come here after all. Now that we were alone I could put more of my plan together. He would think I'm emotional and vulnerable.

"It's not true Kathryn. I love you, I mean it I do"

"Then why are you with her?" I looked at him.

"Because I love her too"

I got up and stormed over to the other side of the room.

"You can't love us both Sebastian!" I yelled.

"I can't help it Kat, I don't want to hurt her, we're engaged. I'll always have feelings for you, I'll always have some part of me that'll love you forever. But there's no way we could ever be together Kathryn, think about it. Our parents are married, we'd be social outcasts" He retaliated.

He's right, hence why I don't have feelings for that asshole.

"I just don't want you hurting yourself anymore Kathryn. You mean too much to me. If I lost you…I'd…I couldn't" He stopped and sighed.

"You couldn't what?"

"Let's just drop it Kathryn, I've said everything I had to say"

He started to walk away but I forced him back. Grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to me.

"Tell me" I demanded.

"Make me"

Sebastian's voice quavered, it suddenly seemed like we were high school children again and we were playing games with each other. He'd smile and say some witty remark I would scowl and say something equally as witty but somehow mine would hurt more than his.

"Fine"

I took his hands in mine and linked our fingers. The feeling was unknown to me, the feelings of me doing this to him was unknown to him. I kissed his neck because it was as far up as I could reach right now. He leant down and I kissed his lips softly.

"Now tell me" I said, biting his lip a little.

He shook his head at me. I freed our hands and placed them at the back of his neck, pulling him down for a more passionate kiss, we both lost balance and ending up falling back on to Blaine's bed. Sebastian hovered above me, but I still had control.

"Please?"

"I couldn't live without you, not again"

He whispered and I froze.

Sebastian kissed me again, I didn't reciprocate but it didn't seem to bother him. He glanced down at his watch and cursed to himself under his breath.

"I have to go, sorry" He apologised and got up.

"You're going to see her aren't you?"

"She's going to be my wife Kathryn"

"Right. She's going to be Mrs. Isabelle Valmont. Charming" I commented, getting up and making my way to the door.

"Look I'll pick you up tomorrow at 12.30 okay?"

"For what?"

"Therapy. I made you an appointment"

"You knew I'd say yes?"

He smirked, the blue in his eyes lighting up.

"You can't resist me baby"

Right you are Valmont.

* * *

**A/N: So here is the new chapter.**

**hellishlygood: I'm glad you enjoyed it [: Thanks.**

**socialitegirl: Thanks, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**ChefAngel83: Ha ha, don't worry. Kathryn and Sebastian may eventually get together, it'll just take some time. They have alot of things to get through. It won't be easy if they do.**


	17. Dixsept

_Oh the webs you weave  
We are caught in the fame  
the passion's dead  
the life you've lead  
has drown in your shame_

The Webs We Weave - Escape The Fate

* * *

I rested my hands in my lap as I sat in Sebastian's jag. We were on our way to my therapy session; he had volunteered to take me there today. In fact Dakota, Blaine and Sebastian had informed me that they will be taking it in turns on who takes me to therapy, because they think that if I didn't have someone to take me I would just not go. They're probably right too.

The whole car ride was silent until we reached the tall business building. Sebastian had insisted on the best place he could find in New York.

"C'mon" He said to me, getting out of the car.

"Sebastian we're almost an hour early" I stated.

"Better to be early then late. Anyway I'm going to stay with you and wait"

Great.

I got out of the car and slammed the door, Sebastian scowled at me, he didn't like it in the least when I treated his car like that. Sometimes I think that his car was the only thing that mattered to him.

We stepped into the elevator, just me and him.

"It'll be fine" He reassured me, rubbing my shoulder affectionately.

I had forgotten that Sebastian could tell what kind of mood I was in. It was well known to him that when I picked at my nails or shifted around a lot I was either uncomfortable or nervous. I was nervous, extremely nervous.

He kissed my lips softly, I wondered whether he did it just to calm me down or if he did it because he wanted to. My bet was on the first option.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to"

Because he wanted to?

We reached the 29th floor of the large building and got out of the elevator. The room was fancily furnished.

"Appointment for Kathryn Merteuil" Sebastian told the receptionist.

"Have a seat, Carrie will be another half an hour still" The lady told us.

Sebastian took a seat on the couch and I sat next to him. We weren't in site of the receptionist anymore, but I wished we had of been.

I scratched my palm nervously, waiting, watching the door. Sebastian noticed and took my hand in his and held it tightly. He didn't look at me, I didn't want him to. He knew what he was doing was wrong, I think he thought that if he didn't look at me too much he wouldn't feel as guilty as he did right now.

About 45 minutes later the therapy room door opened and an older blonde woman with bad wrinkles walked out of the door with a young brunette girl. She said goodbye then looked to her clipboard.

"You must be Kathryn Merteuil" She said, directing her speech to me as Sebastian and I were the only two in the room.

"That's me" I smiled fakely.

"Carrie, Sebastian Valmont. I made the appointment for Kathryn, I'm her step-brother" He stated, even though it was totally irrelevant.

"It's nice to meet you Sebastian, if you don't mind I'll be taking Kathryn now, you can wait here or come back in an hour when the session is over if you like"

Sebastian was about to turn around and walk away but I had to stop him. I was scared to be honest, I wasn't about to tell him that of course, but I wanted him in there.

"Actually Carrie can Sebastian come in with us, just for today" I asked politely.

"Well usually we don't allow it, but I suppose we can make an exception"

Sebastian smiled and he took my hand and followed Carrie and I inside. I sat down on the long couch and Sebastian sat beside me. He went to take his hand away but I held it tighter. He's not going anywhere.

"So Kathryn let's start with what you like to do? What type of person do you think you are?" She asked me.

I think I'm a self absorbed bitch who really doesn't give a shit about what you think of me or not.

"Um well I like to read, I'm probably a smart girl, I like charity functions and socialising with my friends"

Carrie looked at me in disbelief.

"Kathryn what you say in this room is confidential, it doesn't leave. So if you'd like you can either stop pretending to be someone else or you can keep up the act"

"Fine, I like to have sex, flirt, party, drink. I'm not a nice person, I'm bitchy, I really only care about myself"

"That's better. So is there a reason behind why you like to have sex Kathryn? Do you only do it because it helps you get rid of your stress?"

"I like sex because it's fun and I can be in control"

"You like to be in control"

She scribbled a few things down on a notepad then turned her attention to Sebastian.

"Sebastian what type of person do you think Kathryn is?"

Oh now this was going to be fun.

"Well Kathryn can be bitchy, she can be a slut, she can ruin my life a lot. She likes to ruin my days and yell at me for stupid things. But I think when it comes to certain people she has a weak spot for them"

"These certain people are?" Carrie asked.

If he says himself I swear I will hit him.

"Blaine, Dakota, her father…me"

I hit his arm with the back of my hand. He flinched and scowled at me.

"Kathryn please refrain from hitting him"

"I do not have a weak spot for you" I argued.

"Okay Kathryn. Let's not concentrate on what he thinks okay? Kathryn can you tell me what it's like to be you? Don't leave anything out, feel free to swear and use as much detail and descriptive words as you like"

Did she really want to know what it was like to be me? How it felt?

"Why should I tell you?"

"You don't have to tell me Kathryn. But it's the only way I can help you"

I don't fucking need help!

"I don't need help. I don't need this"

"Look I'm not saying you need help. I didn't mean that. But sometimes it feels good to let off steam with a complete stranger. I'm not going to judge you Kathryn and I'm not going to treat you any different no matter what you tell me"

"Fine. Where do you want me to start?"

She again scribbled some things down on a notepad.

"Let's start from when you were young" Carrie told me.

"I'm going to go and wait outside" Sebastian said.

I pulled him down and glared at him. "You want me to get help? Then you can sit here and listen to what I have to say to Valmont. You're not going anywhere" He looked scared at what I was going to say.

"When I young my dad and mum divorced she found him fornicating the Spanish maid, the whole town I lived in heard about it and my mother couldn't stand to live there anymore where people talked about her behind her back, so we left"

I stared out the building window. The sky was blue and clear, there was only a few clouds that could be seen.

"When we left we moved to New York. Back then my mother wasn't as manipulative and she didn't drink and abuse me as much as she does now. So we lived in a large house just outside of New York. She tried to spend as much time as possible with me until she met Roger. Her second husband. I didn't like him and mother noticed. She called me profanities and told me I was being selfish. Especially when Roger's daughter April would get a new pony I would complain because I had the same one I always had"

I fiddled with my thumbs. This was getting hard to tell.

"When my mother and Roger divorced my mother got a lot more money than she did when she divorced my father. So we moved into a bigger house closer in New York. That was when she hired baby sitter after baby sitter to look after me instead of being a mother and caring for me herself. After a year she met Edward Valmont, Sebastian's father, at first I wasn't introduced, I heard her talk about him many times, but had never met him"

"How did you feel about that Kathryn?" Carried asked me.

"Hurt, angry. I hated Edward, I hated my mother. Then I met Sebastian…he was…somebody that got me like no one else. We bonded immediately though both of us seemed to hate each other. He was my first kiss and I never forgot it. Even as years went by without seeing him I never forgot him"

I smiled, forgetting that Sebastian was even in the room.

"I'm sorry Kathryn but it seems we've run out of time. Next week we'll touch more on that story. It was nice meeting you both" Carrie showed us out the door.

The whole way downstairs to the car Sebastian didn't say anything to me, I couldn't look at him because I was embarrassed of what he thought of me.

We reached the car and I got in still with no words shared between us, he started the car and drove.

"Never forgot me?" He asked suddenly.

"Never" I admitted.

"I never forgot you either"

"Good"

It was late afternoon and as he pulled in his car to the townhouse he leant in and kissed me. Much like the first kiss we shared. It was passionate yet so gentle and kind. It made me feel young and like he had stolen my first kiss all over again.

It may have even been magical.

* * *

I heard footsteps late at night, I wondered who it could be. It wasn't Sebastian, he had gone to bed earlier, I know this because he had asked me to get out of his room.

The maids had gone to bed, my mother wasn't home, my step-father was away on business. The only other person I could think it was would be Dakota. But what would he be doing?

I got up from my warm bed and opened my door slightly, peeking out of my bedroom door. It was dark and fairly hard to see, but I made out the figure of a man walking towards Dakota's bedroom door.

"Excuse me what the hell do you think you're doing in my house" I asked the person.

He whipped his head around, I think I scared the hell out of him. But I knew it was Dakota when I saw his face. I rushed up to him, he tried to get away but didn't escape because I followed him into his bedroom. I could see him now, it was light in his bedroom.

"Where the hell…oh my god what happened?" I asked him.

There were large red stains on his shirt, stains that looked like blood. His hands had the same red liquid on them and his face had drops of it.

He didn't reply to me.

"Dakota are you hurt?"

I touched his shirt, it was wet from the blood, but he didn't appear to be hurt. He wasn't bleeding and it didn't seem to have any cuts upon him.

"Was someone else hurt?"

Still I was met with no reply. He had this look in his eyes, one even I was afraid of. One that I wouldn't want him to look at me with ever again because at that moment I wanted to run.

"Oh no…"

I knew he had done something bad, the look in his eyes, the blood on him.

"Kathryn let me explain" He whispered.

"I don't want tot hear it. Just get…go Dakota"

"Kathryn"

"Leave I said!" I yelled at him.

He hit me and forced me on the bed. He wasn't going to rape me, I think he just wanted me to listen.

"Let me go Dakota"

My voice was quivering, it wanted to run and hide just as much as I did.

"I want to explain"

I sat back, I was too afraid to speak again.

"Kelly…" He started.

"No Dakota…I…"

"Shut up"

My eyes filled with fear, my heart was racing. I swear if you had of tested my pulse right now you wouldn't be able to count how fast it was pulsating because it was pulsating too fast for anyone to be able to count.

"I'm a bad man Kathryn. I kill people, I have a sick obsession, I'm sick, I know. I get close to women and kill them, making it look like an accident or suicide"

I swallowed thickly. I was close to him. Was I next?

He touched my face, I closed my eyes and wished to be anywhere but here right now.

"Don't worry I would never hurt you, or Sebastian"

I must say I was relieved a little, I still didn't believe him though. Sebastian may be family and he may never hurt Sebastian but I was part family, almost nothing.

"But you tell anyone Kathryn and I will hurt you. I will murder you in ways that hasn't been done"

I was going to have a heart attack I was that scared. I was feverishly sweating now; it was visible on my skin, my forehead, my palms.

"Do we have a deal sweetheart?"

I nodded.

"Good. Sweet dreams Kathryn"

He kissed my forehead with his dirty lips. The lips of a killer. I wanted to scrub my body, free it of the dirty feelings I felt.

Keep quiet Kathryn or you just may die.

* * *

It seemed like a nightmare I had had about Dakota. It just didn't seem real. I mean how could someone so…perfect and beautiful be so ugly and rigid? It just wasn't right. I didn't want to believe it, I wanted to believe that it was a nightmare, but even after I had soaked myself in the tub after he kissed my forehead I still felt dirty. I could feel the blood on my skin even if it was never there to begin with.

Two knocks on my door broke me from my thought. Two knocks meant Dakota, Sebastian always gave three. I waited for a third knock a few seconds later it came and I could breathe again. I wasn't so agitated.

None the less Sebastian came in without my permission, though honestly I felt safer with him.

In his hands was a news paper. I had one guess what he was in here to talk about and what he was going to show me.

"Kelly Carmenti, a young, gorgeous socialite of New York's upper class committed suicide last night in the bedroom of her large townhouse. Her parents had gone away for a week only to return late last night to find their only daughter had slit her wrists and killed herself" Sebastian read aloud. Of course I had to keep my heartless ways.

"Boo frickity who, so the air head had problems" I sneered.

He sat on my bed and turned the page.

"The popular socialite had been rumoured to be dating the mysterious and new to the scene Dakota Valmont, half brother of Sebastian Valmont and eldest son to Edward Valmont. The two were seen two nights ago at a popular outing. In a letter that was found by Kelly's bedside table it described her feelings and why she had to do this. Miss Carmenti's letter was too disturbing to be published in today's paper"

"Who cares Sebastian?"

"Just thought I'd wake you up with a bit of a scandal"

He leant down and kissed my forehead like I was a little girl. He kissed the exact same spot Dakota had last night. I suddenly felt clean again. It was like one Valmont could erase the other.

"So I have wedding details to go over with Isabelle today, but I'll be finished around 1.00, do you want to get lunch or something?"

I kicked off my blankets and got up, parading over to my mirror to fix my hair. Even though I knew Sebastian thought I looked hot, I could tell by the way he was staring at me constantly as I walked over there.

"Why? So we can be more of a family? Sorry but I'd rather slit my wrists"

Sebastian's face turned white.

"Don't say that Kathryn"

"Why?"

"Because I found you half dead in your hotel room the day of my engagement party"

I rolled my eyes, sometimes he could be a total drama queen.

"Whatever"

"So are you going to come to lunch with me or not?"

"As long as miss perfect isn't going to be there"

"She's not, she's flying back home to arrange some things with her family before the wedding"

"Good"

"So you'll be there?"

"If you're going to pick me up"

"I'll pick you up at 1.00, right here okay?"

"Yeah sure"

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed my neck, sweeping my hair to one side so he could get more access. I could only smile at his actions; he was officially the only guy who knew how to make me smile like I was.

"I have an hour until I have to get ready"

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, spinning around so I was facing him.

He kissed my lips, biting my lower one softly, and then he picked me up and placed me on my desk. He stood in between my open legs.

"Oh I see. So you want to fuck me then go see the bride to be?"

"Stop being bitter"

His hand wandered up my night gown and made it to my wet panties. He rubbed me through the flimsy fabric of them. I held moans in, I didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing that I was actually enjoying this.

Sebastian moved my panties to the side and slipped a finger into me, moving it in and out within me. His thumb pressed lightly against my clit, he knew just how to get to me.

"Sebastian" I moaned.

His pants grew.

"Mmm Sebastian" I moaned again.

My hand slipped inside his pants and I stroked his erection. With my other hand I let his pants drop to the floor and took off his underwear. His hard-on sprung free. I licked my lips at the site of it.

I pushed him back a little and got to my knees, still stroking him.

"You don't have to babe" He said.

"Don't call me babe Sebastian and I want to. Do you really think I would do this if I didn't want to?"

He smirked. Of course he knew the answer to my question.

I opened my mouth wide and put his dick in my mouth, licking and sucking it.

"Oh…" He moaned. I bet Isabelle doesn't do that to him.

I took my mouth back and just licked the end of it, watching him bite his lip and straighten up every time I got 'that' spot.

"Mmm, fuck Kathryn"

I went down his whole shaft, fitting his whole cock in my mouth whilst rubbing his balls. I knew Sebastian liked this.

"Fuck…oh" He moaned.

I took my mouth off, he picked me up and slammed me on my desk hard. It hurt but with pain comes pleasure. He tore my panties off (literally) and slammed into me deep. I actually screeched.

"Oh fucking Christ Sebastian" I groaned.

He didn't stop, he kept slamming into me harder and faster, sucking and biting my neck. I would have bruises later.

His hands manoeuvred my night gown off and I was suddenly left naked on my desk, the slapping sounds of our skin and his sucking on my neck the only sounds in the room. Besides our moaning and groaning of course.

"Fuck I'm so close" He moaned.

I grinned and pushed him back. He lost his grip on me and fell to the floor with a loud thud on his back.

"Don't you dare leave Kathryn" He looked alarmed.

"I wouldn't dream of it"

I pushed him back down and got on top of him, straight away riding him hard. My nails dug into his chest leaving imprints in him, blood actually started to draw from his skin.

"Oh…mmm" I moaned, I could feel me reaching climax.

"Almost" He started.

"There" I finished his sentence.

He was now thrusting into me as I rode him. His hips gyrating upwards as I slammed down on to his shaft, moving up and down on it. It slid easily out of me and slammed easily back into me.

"Christ…I'm" Sebastian said.

I tightened, my back arched and I felt a heat rush through me.

"Cumming" I moaned as I Climaxed. I felt his muscles tense.

I knew he came.

I kept riding him until I was completely breathless and had no energy. Then I slumped beside him, breathing in heavily and slowly breathing out.

"Fuck" He groaned.

"Good" I commented.

"Great" He corrected me.

Then he glanced over to my clock and sighed. He had to go and start getting ready.

"I'm sorry"

"I know you have to go"

He got up slowly and made kisses down my body until he reached my clit. Then he flicked his tongue over it, I softly moaned.

"You'll get more later" He said, kissing my inner thigh.

"I better"

Then he left my room.

I got up and smiled to myself.

I think I'm falling for Sebastian.

* * *

Sebastian and I were sitting at an exclusive restaurant in a private booth, so we could have some privacy of course.

He was caressing my thigh gently under the table. Even if somebody could see us I don't think you could tell he was even doing anything. His hand was warm on my bare leg.

"Mhmm" I answered him.

He leant in and kissed my ear.

"I'm so fucking horny" He whispered to me.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes disgusted, pushing him backwards. "You pick the worst times" I commented, picking at my salad.

"C'mon baby, no one can see us" He said, moving his hand up slowly.

"My name is Kathryn and what if somebody comes in?"

He slid my panties to the side and slipped two fingers straight into me. I jumped slightly, but slowly got used to the feeling. He worked his magic.

"Moan baby" He whispered to me, kissing my neck.

"Mmm" I softly moaned, afraid that somebody would hear me.

He put another finger inside me slowly, working it in and penetrating me with his fingers. It's kind of perverted to do this at lunch but sometimes he just got me so worked up I needed it right then.

"Fuck"

"That's it" He said to me.

"Let's go" I quickly said, making him take his fingers out of me.

"What?" He said.

"I want to fuck and I'm not waiting, so get your ass up and let's go" I demanded.

He threw money on the table and we basically ran out of the restaurant. Jumping in his car and speeding all the way home.

We got home and he chased me upstairs. I was actually laughing having fun. I quickly stripped and he did the same.

"Fuck me" I told him, opening up.

"As you wish"

He was about to get inside of me but we heard someone outside my bedroom door, he jumped off my bed and hid in my bathroom. I chucked my blankets over me, pretending like I had been sleeping.

"Kathryn I thought I heard you and Sebastian. Maybe only you" Edward giggled.

Great, the grand master pervert was home.

"Yeah, well I'm really tired, just thought I'd get some sleep"

I fakely yawned.

He sat on my bed; my covers went down a bit, exposing most of my breast. Edward ogled at me, almost drooling at the sight of me. Disgusting, fucking disgusting.

"I think you were doing a little more than that"

Edward ran his hands down my body, luckily the blanket was covering most of me.

I knew Sebastian was watching, hopefully he would stay put and let me deal with this my own way.

"Edward, I'm really exhausted. Can I just get some sleep please?"

He understood and left my room. No sooner had he left Sebastian came out, furious.

"Fucking pervert" He said to me.

"Just calm down Sebastian. Nothing happened now let's get back to fucking"

I pushed him on to my bed and sat in his lap.

"How dare he! You're mine"

Excuse me? Did he just say I was his? Because if I remember correctly, I was his step-sister, his friend, but I was certainly not his girlfriend, or his property.

"What did you just say?"

"You're mine Kathryn"

"I don't think so" I denied. "I'm not yours, you don't own me Sebastian. You want to fucking own me? Then try having a relationship with me instead of Isabelle"

It all slipped out before I had even thought about it. I swallowed thickly and cursed myself for saying it.

"You'd want that?"

"What does it matter? You're with Isabelle. Just go Sebastian. Thanks for lunch"

He looked at me, confused and shocked. None the less he left.

"Fuck" I said, hitting myself.

Yeah I'm definitely falling for Sebastian.

* * *

**A/N: I've written like 6 chapters more than this, but I'll add them probably once a week. So you'll either get another chapter in a few days or next week sometime.**

**Thanks for the reviews keep them coming. **


	18. Dixhuit

_Every time I see you near me  
I feel ashamed I feel shy  
Every time I see you nearby  
I wanna scream and hide  
I don't think I'm willing to impersonate  
The normalcy that I'd need to get throught every day with you_

CuteCrazy - Zolof The Rock And Roll Destroyer

* * *

Two weeks and four days until Sebastian's wedding. Two weeks and four fucking days, I know this because Isabelle had been over here everyday for the past week telling Sebastian how long until they get married. It was fairly annoying, not only that, but now that she was coming over everyday I had no time to be with Sebastian.

I got dressed into an appropriate outfit, I had my therapy session today. I walked outside my bedroom and knocked on Sebastian's door. I heard Isabelle giggle and then Sebastian fumble for something. I think they were having sex.

He opened his door, wearing a robe and looking flushed slightly.

"Sorry to interrupt the happy couple fucking, but my therapy session is soon. Are you ready?"

Sebastian pursed his lips tightly and half smiled at me. I knew he had forgotten.

"Can Dakota take you? I'm just…busy right now"

Not Dakota. No, please, no.

"Can't Blaine take me?"

"No, Blaine's away. It'll have to be Dakota"

Damn it.

"Fine. Have fun"

I turned around and made my way to the staircase angry.

"Kathryn!" I looked back to him. "I'm sorry" He said.

I flicked my hair back and flipped open my cell. Dialling Dakota's number and waiting for him to answer.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Dakota it's Kathryn, Sebastian's busy right now and can't take me to therapy. I was wondering if you could?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way back now, wait out the front I'll be there soon"

I hung up the phone and sighed.

Eventually Dakota came to pick me up. He smiled at me, I felt disgusted and sick to the stomach.

"How are you today?"

"Fine" I replied.

His hand made it's way to my bare leg, he gently rubbed it with his thumb.

Was he actually trying to screw me?

"Don't" I told him sternly.

He removed his hand and returned it to the steering wheel of the car.

"Why couldn't Sebastian take you?" Dakota asked me.

"To busy screwing his girl…fiancé" I sighed, the thought of Sebastian and Isabelle screwing was horrible. But I more hated the thought of Isabelle and Sebastian actually getting married.

"I see, well what do you say we skip therapy and go have a little fun for ourselves"

Dakota smirked at me and returned his hand to my leg again, caressing it.

"I don't think so" I replied, swiping his hand away.

He was persistent and placed his hand higher up on my leg. I was getting really annoyed.

"Pull over" I demanded.

He did as I said.

We weren't on any main roads, he had pulled into an empty lane way.

I got on top of him, sitting right on his crotch. He groaned slightly at the feeling of me on top.

"Mmm" I moaned, kissing his neck.

His hands reached my waist and he began to thrust upwards. The feeling wasn't at all arousing as I just wasn't in the mood.

My hand slid into his pants stroking his growing erection, he moaned softly.

"Touch me again and I'll cut it off" I said, squeezing it hard and then climbing off him.

"Bitch"

"Just take me to therapy" I sighed.

* * *

"How was therapy?" Sebastian asked me as he entered my room.

I was laying on my stomach, reading an intriguing book. I hadn't bothered to see Sebastian after coming home from therapy, I really didn't want to pretend to bask in his and Isabelle's presence, so I had resided to my bedroom to catch up on some reading.

"Fine" I said, not for a moment taking my eyes of the book.

"I'm sorry I couldn't take you this morning"

I kept reading. I didn't really have an answer for him.

"I hope it's okay that Dakota took you"

Of course it wasn't okay that Dakota took me. For one, he's extremely creepy lately. Two, he tried to feel me up the whole way there. Three, I happen to be frightened of him.

"Yeah sure" I replied. "Now if you don't mind, I'm reading"

He layed down beside me, our bodies were touching slightly.

"What are you doing?" I asked, putting a book mark in my book and putting it beside me. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get to read anything right now.

"We need to talk"

"Talk away" I said, avoiding his eyes.

"You are coming to the wedding right?" He asked me.

"Yes"

"I don't want you to be in the way Kathryn. I love Isabelle and I am content in marrying her. Please don't ruin it" He almost begged me.

His pleading had brought me back to familiar thoughts about Annette. When I lost Sebastian I had once thought that maybe they'll get married and have little hick-like children. I wouldn't be invited to the wedding of course, because Annette wouldn't want that.

"This thing with us has to end to Kathryn. I can't anymore"

Like hell it was going to end brother.

I quickly rolled him over and got on top of him smirking. "Why don't like to play with me anymore Sebastian?"

He pushed me off gently and got up, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

"It's not that. It'd just hurt Isabelle to much"

"Right because you obviously cared for her so much in the beginning and all" I rolled my eyes at him.

"I did, I still do. Just I had missed you, I care for you Kathryn I really do"

"Save me the bullshit talk Sebastian. I'm not an airhead bimbo that's going to get all emotional about it"

Some part of me was telling me to reach out to him and tell him how I felt. Or how I was supposably feeling, considering this had begun as a plan to get revenge on him. But the most part of me was telling myself to be strong, be myself and keep my icy façade and just walk away, let him go. Pretend like I never cared.

I opted to go with the some part of me.

"I'm not going to give you some sap story Sebastian. I care for you…more than I probably should, you're the only person I'd probably admit that too, but it's true. I don't plan on destroying your relationship. But I want a chance"

"A chance?" He inquired.

Inside of me I was smiling maliciously.

"I want a chance. I want a chance to be fair game. Pretend as if you care for Isabelle and I equally. I want you to choose me or her"

"Kathryn don't make me choose"

I caressed his face lovingly. All my cards were being put to the table. I had nothing to lose. If I lost maybe my dignity would be gone for sometime, a little part of me will die and I'll live without him. But if he happens to choose me, I'll have him and I can destroy him.

"I can't be here when you're all happily married Sebastian. It hurts too much, parts of me want to hurt Isabelle, make her tainted in your eye just so I can have you back. But more than anything I want to see you happy"

"What are you trying to say?"

I swallowed thickly and brought on what I had meant for to be fake tears.

"It's me or her, you choose her and I'll be gone forever. I'll leave and you won't have to hear from me again. You choose me and I'll stay, I'll be yours"

"Kathryn I'm not going to choose" He protested.

"I'm going to Blaine's. I expect an answer when I return later. A note is fine if you don't want to tell me" I kissed his cheek softly. "I love you" I whispered, walking out of the room.

* * *

"So that's it? You just left?" Blaine asked.

I nodded and sighed. Sometimes Blaine just didn't understand my relationship with Sebastian. No one ever did.

"Aren't you afraid he'll choose Isabelle over you?"

Blaine took out a stash of cocaine and parted it into lines with a credit card on the table.

"Yes" I answered simply.

Blaine snorted a line and then offered me. Most of the time I was not tempted to take part in drugs anymore, but a portion of me still needed them to get through times like this.

"Then why did you give him the choice? It's not like you Kathryn"

I leant down and snorted a line of the precious nose candy I used to love so much. I wiped the white powder off my nose and breathed in.

"I don't know why. I don't know what's happening anymore" I admitted.

It was true. I was losing control, I hadn't thought clearly for awhile. My thoughts were constantly clouded with Sebastian. He was on my mind all the time and when he wasn't on my mind Isabelle was.

"I thought you were going to destroy him?"

"I am. He has to be mine before I can do that"

I got up and picked up my purse and jacket. I had to get home, it was getting late and my mother and Edward were supposed to be coming home tonight.

"Good luck" Blaine called out as I walked out the door.

My limousine was awaiting me downstairs. The driver opened my door and I gave him a small smile as a thank you, which was rare. I never did that. I got inside and closed my eyes.

Soon enough I would have my answer. I expected the worst. Sebastian will choose Isabelle and I would leave. So I had told Sebastian's Aunt Helen I might come and stay for a week down at her Estate. She of course had welcomed me with open arms.

I sat back in the limousine processing everything that had gone on today. Dakota, Sebastian, Isabelle, my life had become more complicated. If that was even possible.

"Ms Merteuil, we're here" The driver alerted me, breaking me from my thoughts.

He opened my door and I climbed out. By now it was around 1.00am, even if mother and Edward had actually come home they were probably either in bed or at a party of some sort.

I entered the house, it was silent and dark. Most of the help had gone to bed, except for Mai-Lee who I think rarely ever slept, due to her constant presence all the time.

"Is my mother and Edward home?" I asked her.

"Mrs Merteuil called. Edward and her decided to go Italy" Mai-Lee told me with her not-so-good English accent. I jumped for joy inside. At least now I could have some peace.

Slowly I climbed the stairs to my room as I reached my door I looked across the hall. Sebastian's door was closed but his light was on. I went over and my hand touched the doorknob. I wanted to go in there, but opted to just go straight to my bedroom instead.

Sure enough when I got to my bedroom there was an envelope neatly put on my bed with a simple K on it. Sebastian was the only person I knew who addressed letters to me with my first initial.

First I wanted to rip it open and read immediately, but I chose to get undressed and into my nightgown first. I kept a steady eye on the letter as I undressed, maybe I was afraid it would disappear and I would never really know what he chose.

As I finished I climbed into bed with the letter in hand. I touched the envelope softly, almost wishing it was Sebastian. I bit my lip and opened it up, un-folding the neatly folded white paper so I could read it.

_Dear Kathryn,_

_What I want to say I'm not sure I can express in words, but I'm to chicken to say it to your face._

_You gave me a choice this afternoon, you or Isabelle. First I thought you were playing until you left. _

_The choice you gave me wasn't easy Kathryn, I didn't want to hurt either of you. But now I've made my choice._

_In a way I'm glad I've written a letter to you instead of telling you in person, because I'd probably change my mind if I had of spoken to you in person. This way I won't be here for you to argue with._

_My choice Kathryn is Isabelle._

I stopped reading and sighed. I had lost.

_I never intended on falling in love, with either of you. But I did and I would never take it back._

_Unfortunately for the both of us I don't trust you. You've played games with me most of my life and I just can't trust you. I don't want to be with someone who I can't trust._

_I can only imagine now what it would have been like to tell you in person. I had thought to myself 'maybe she would cry' but then when I thought on it some more I laughed. Kathryn doesn't cry, not in front of people._

_Although there had been rare moments I had seen tears fall from your face, I also know that you're certainly not the type of girl to cry over a guy, especially me._

_When I thought long and hard about you're options I first wanted to choose you just so you would stay. But would I be right in choosing you just so I wouldn't lose you? I didn't think so._

_So I chose Isabelle. Again I've betrayed you, I've chosen someone else over you and I can't express how sorry I am._

_I don't want you to leave, but I do understand._

_I'll always love you Kathryn._

_S._

I ripped the letter into pieces and threw it to the ground. I wasn't tired anymore, I didn't feel like sleeping. I climbed out of bed, tears threatening to damage my view.

Opening a few suit cases I threw some clothes into them.

I sat down on my Vanity mirror desk and pulled out paper and a pen from my draw.

_Sebastian._

_My letter isn't going to be as heartfelt or as long as yours. _

_I have your choice and now I've left._

_I am not going to tell you where I am, because if I do, you may want to talk and I don't want you changing your decision on pity for me._

_Have a happy life._

_Kathryn._

I folded the piece of paper up and held it in my hand. I picked up the two suitcases and walked out of my room, closing my bedroom door behind me. Before I made my way downstairs I stopped at Sebastian's room. His light was now off.

I dropped my suitcases and opened his door slowly. He was sleeping, he looked so at peace. I crept in and left the letter on his bedside table for him to read in the morning.

"Goodbye" I whispered and left his room.

* * *

When I arrived at Sebastian's Aunt Helen's house she hadn't been home, a maid had told me I was welcome to everything in the house. Helen had gone to Africa to help the starving children.

I hadn't slept that night at all. I tried, but I had tossed and turned until I was so frustrated with myself that I got up and went downstairs to find a book to read.

It was dark and eerie, I had never really been afraid of the dark. Never had I been scared about being alone in a large house. But there was something different about Helen's house. It always brought so many memories back to me about Sebastian and sometimes I thought I could see young ghosts of the children Sebastian and I used to be.

Of course it was always just my thoughts.

I had been reading when my cell phone started to ring, it was almost 9.00am. I contemplated answering it, but thought I should.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Kathryn"

Sebastian's voice sounded hoarse, I'm quite sure he had just awoken and read my letter.

I didn't reply to him, I stayed silent.

"I'm sorry" He said, almost a whisper.

"I am too"

"You don't have to leave Kathryn. Can't we just forget about this?" He asked me.

I pondered on the thought. How I'd like to just forget about everything and return to my Sebastian. How I'd love to forgive him for everything.

"I can't"

"Please" He pleaded.

I picked up the plane ticket I had purchased. It was a one way flight to London. I had a friend over there from when I had lived over there for a year. I had called her last night to ask if I could stay with her, she had said yes.

"I'm leaving Sebastian"

I hated myself for portraying such emotion, because what I was feeling wasn't fake anymore. I wasn't pretending to love Sebastian. I did love Sebastian. I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. I'd rather not inform you of my choice of stay"

"Why?"

"Because you may come talk to me. I don't want to ruin you're relationship anymore then I already have"

"Kathryn listen to me. I want you to stay"

My bags were being packed into my limousine as I got in. I was on my way to the airport now.

"It's too late Sebastian, it's too late to bring me back"

I swallowed thickly as a tear escaped my eye. I wiped it away quickly, afraid someone might see.

"Please Kathryn. Stay"

"Goodbye Sebastian"

I hung up the phone before he could beg anymore. I held my composure, I wasn't going to cry. Sebastian was just my step-brother, that's all he was to me.

* * *

My flight was boarding. I looked back, maybe Blaine had told him and he'd be here. He'd confess he loved me and come up and embrace me.

Who was I kidding? I wasn't the type for fairytale endings.

I got onto the plane, sitting in my first class seat. I relaxed, laying back in the comfortable chair.

"Excuse me I think you're in my chair" A beautiful girl told me.

"I don't think so" I replied, icily.

I looked up at the girl. Isabelle?

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, getting up from my seat.

"Kathryn you're making a mistake. Don't leave" She begged me.

"Get off the plane Isabelle"

"Kathryn he loves you, he does. He doesn't want to hurt you, he wants you to be apart of his life"

"GO!" I screamed at her, having several heads turn my way. I didn't care.

She passed me small brown leather book, much like Sebastian's journal. Then she left, disappearing.

I opened the brown journal-like book to the first page. I expected it to say something along the lines of 'Journal of Sebastian Valmont' but it didn't. I sat down in my seat and ran my hand over the title. It was small and simple.

"Kathryn" I read the title to myself.

I flipped the page to the next one. A photo of me smiling was stuck into it, it was a much younger me, probably 15 or so. It was dated back that far, I had been 15.

I read the small writing that was under my photo.

_Kathryn Merteuil. A book dedicated to my love._

I turned the next page. A whole page of writing filled it up, with a small picture of Sebastian and I that had been cut out from a family photo stuck to the page beside it.

I read the first few lines.

_Maybe I'm a little creepy for having this book, for thinking about her so much that I have a book about her and only her. But I could have so much more on her, she amazes me, she amazed me the very first time we met. I love her, I always will._

A few tears dropped onto the journal. I wiped them away with the back of my hand, somebody might have seen. I sat back in my seat and read the rest of the page. I think I might just read it all.

* * *

**A/N: I'm updating two chapters today, I feel like I owe it to you guys, because like I have a few written, but I haven't updated in awhile so I thought I'd give you two. **

**socialitegirl - Thanks, the story line is only about yo get more interesting so keep reading.**

**xjolie - Updated for your pleasure and thanks.**


	19. Dixneuf

_So this is the new year  
And I have no resolutions  
For self assigned penance  
For problems with easy solutions_

The New Year - Deat Cab For Cutie

* * *

"Kathryn! Kathryn!" A few photographers yelled to me as I walked inside my house in London.

I dropped my keys on my bench and took off my long black coat. It had been snowing outside.

I took out a bottle of champagne and poured myself a generous amount into a wine glass, just something to take the edge off a very tiring, very long day.

I flipped open the new issue of 'Perfection'. Several bulimic models I was 'friends' with appeared on the first few pages. I got to the centre page and there I was, standing in a black, Chanel dress.

"Centre page again Kathryn" I said to myself, sipping on the champagne.

In my almost two years away from New York, I had become a very well known London model. I had been featured in every issue of Perfection for a little under 1 and a half years and for the 6th month in a row I was the centre page girl.

"Hey"

I turned around and smiled at Daniel.

Daniel Cosgrove was my boyfriend; we'd been dating pretty much since I had moved here. He was rich, handsome and successful. He owned the magazine I modelled for, that was how I had gotten started.

"Hey" I replied, setting the magazine down and getting up to greet him properly.

He kissed my cheek politely and poured himself a glass of champagne.

"How was your day?" He asked me, wrapping an arm around my waist and letting his head rest on my shoulder.

"You need a new assistant" I told him.

"Why? Alicia's a great assistant" He protested.

I sipped more of my champagne.

"Sure. Great when she's not ordering me around" I said sarcastically.

"I'll have her fired tomorrow"

I smiled. Daniel took care of me. He had picked up the pieces and put me back together when I came to London. I hadn't told him the full extent of the reason I left, just a few selective bits and pieces.

Since then he had promised me he'd take care of me, he'd employed me and taken care of everything around me. Every time I was unhappy, he'd cheer me up. If I had had an argument with someone at work, he'd fire them. He really did know how to take care of me.

Daniel spun me around and took my glass from me, setting both mine and his on the bench. He wrapped his arms back around me and kissed my lips softly.

"I missed you today" He said, his charming English accent coming out.

"Really?" I asked as if I didn't know.

He smiled and kissed me again.

I was happy. I wasn't angry, I wasn't manipulating. I wasn't getting revenge and I certainly wasn't frustrated or in a love triangle. I was content and happy living in my large house in London with Daniel.

"I brought something for you today" He said, pulling away from me.

"I thought you were supposed to be resting?"

"I was, but I got bored and decided I'd buy the most beautiful girl in the world something"

My eyes lit up as he revealed a large box wrapped in gold paper. He passed it to me and I was only too eager to rip it open. Inside was the dress I had been drooling over for almost a week now.

Usually when I saw something I liked I would buy it straight away. But this dress was different. I loved it, but it was extremely expensive, not that that's why I didn't buy it, I just didn't want to buy it and have Daniel be angry at me for spending so much money on a dress.

"It's the dress" I said, pulling the white one-of-a-kind halter neck dress from it's box.

"I knew you loved it, I thought I'd buy it for you"

I immediately pulled my dress I had been wearing off, in front of Daniel and slipped the other dress on. It had small diamonds on the neck line and the bottom rim was diamond covered too.

"You look amazing" He complimented me, kissing my neck.

* * *

"Yes Blaine I know" I said, speaking to Blaine on the phone. 

Blaine was holding a birthday party for himself in a week, he was turning a prestigious age and asked me to come. He had told me it would mean a lot to him.

"Please Kathryn" He pleaded to me over the phone.

"Blaine you know I can't. He could be there, I can't stand the thought of even being near him" I exclaimed over the phone whilst my nails were being done.

"Kathryn I haven't spoken or seen Sebastian and Isabelle in months. Truthfully I hadn't even invited them. They won't be there. Please, besides that I want to meet Daniel. You know he's one of my all time favourite magazine owners, he's handsome too"

I sighed. I hadn't seen Blaine in awhile and it would be nice to get back to New York even if it was just for a day or two.

"I'll talk it over with Daniel, but I can't promise anything. I may not be able to get time off. He may not be able to get time off"

"C'mon Kathryn, he bloody owns the magazine. Like he can't just take off with you"

I smiled to myself. He was right.

"I'll call you back when he gets home later on okay?"

"Sure" He replied.

I hung up the phone and went to my closet to find some clothes so I could go shower. I was looking for a particular dress when something dropped from my shelf and landed on my foot.

"Christ" I cursed.

Picking up the book I studied it for a moment. It was the book that Sebastian had written and dedicated to me.

I opened it up to a random page. It was my favourite page. The one I had cried over several times after first moving to London.

The page had a picture of me and Sebastian smiling together, but it wasn't one that I had pretended to smile and neither had he. We had been at his Aunt's estate; horse riding I think and he had taken the photo of us. Beside the picture he had written that the photo was his favourite and he had stated that I had looked the most beautiful at that particular moment.

Before I could begin to remember things again I chucked the book back up on the shelf and got into the shower. Surely the warm water would make me forget him.

When I got out of the shower Daniel was on the phone with somebody about business. He kissed my cheek and continued talking.

I waited until he got off the phone to talk to him.

"Daniel…" I started.

"Yes Kathryn?"

"You don't have to say yes, I understand, I mean you are very busy and I know that and I get it if you don't want to have time off or even give me time off, but my good friend Blaine is having a birthday party that he has invited me to. He said it would mean a lot if both you and I attend the party"

"What are you saying?" He asked me, confused.

"Can we go over to New York? Just for a few days"

"Sure baby. Hell let's stay for a few weeks, take a holiday"

Daniel kissed my nose; to be honest I was totally shocked. Any other time I had brought New York up he hadn't shown much interest in going, he had made up an excuse to stay behind.

"You mean it? We don't have to stay for a few weeks though, a day or two is fine"

"No, I'm sure. It'll give you time to be with your friends and family"

I didn't want to be with my friends and family. I just wanted to go over there, go to Blaine's party and then go home.

"But you'll have to get back to work. You can't take 2 weeks off"

"Baby I own Perfection. If I want to take time off, I can. If you want to take time off, you can"

I smiled.

"Get packing, I'll call the airport and have them arrange my private plane for a flight tonight" He kissed my cheek and walked off to another room.

* * *

Daniel and I stepped onto his luxurious private plane. I love his plane, it was so elegant and perfect in every way possible. 

I sat on one of the seats and poured myself a glass of champagne. Daniel sat beside me, kissing my neck softly.

"Daniel…" I giggled.

Yes this man reduced me to giggling, I know, horrible right?

He stopped and held my hand, staring into my eyes.

"I love you Kathryn" He told me, kissing my hand softly.

I only smiled to his words. When Daniel and I first started dating I had told him that I left New York because of a guy that I had loved who had rejected me. Then when we started dating I told him I could never love anyone like I loved that guy, I wasn't even sure if I could love. Daniel had understood, he said he didn't care if I couldn't love him.

"So who is this Blaine?" He asked me.

"A friend of mine"

"What business is he into?"

Drug dealing.

"I'm not quite sure"

Daniel didn't know about my drug history, he didn't know that I had drug dealing friends, he didn't know that I had gone to rehab for being a cocaine addict. He didn't know that I was a sex crazed woman.

"Any other friends of yours I'm going to meet?" He asked.

I never had many friends.

"I don't know, maybe. If you're lucky" I kissed his nose.

"By the way I never arranged for a place to stay. I forgot. I was thinking just for the first night or two we could stay at your parents place? Is that okay?"

No. Fuck. Fuck. What if Sebastian's there? What if Isabelle is there? What if my mother and Edward are there? I don't want Daniel to meet my alcoholic mother and my perverted step-father and I certainly do not want him to meet my arrogant, bastard of a step-brother and his oh-too-fucking-perfect girlfriend…wife.

"We could stay at Blaine's. Or just stay at a hotel, nothing flash I don't mind" I tried to get out of it.

"Don't be silly Kate" He kissed my lips. "I'm sure Blaine doesn't want us crowding his house and from what you've told me about your old house, it has more than enough rooms to accommodate us. I'm sure your parents won't mind"

My mother won't mind, she'd rather like to hit on you. Edward…well he'd just be happy that I'm back so he can perve on me.

"Okay, but one night only. My family may not even be there" Or that was what I was hoping for anyway.

"Sure thing"

Daniel kissed my neck and proceeded to go further down. He slowly un did the back of my dress and slid it down to my waist, revealing my breasts as I was not wearing a bra.

"Mmm" He said as he kissed my breasts.

"Not here" I whispered.

So Daniel got up and picked me up into his arms, carrying me to the bedroom at the back of the plane. He set me down on the bed, pulling the rest of my dress off.

"Daniel" I moaned as he kissed down my body.

His dark brown hair tickled my skin as he kissed my body. I giggled, he looked up at me with his green eyes.

"You're perfect Kathryn"

Not perfect, not close. I'm actually quite fucked up. Between falling in love with Sebastian, fucking him, snorting cocaine and throwing my food back up after eating I was as far from perfect as people get.

"If you say so" I said.

There was no point arguing.

He hovered above me and entered me slowly, staring into my eyes as he did. He was different to have sex with. He was so gentle, so careful not to hurt me. He never went faster or harder unless I said too.

I looked up at him; his face was so handsome when he was enjoying sex. He had this certain face, it was relaxed, not really a face expression, it was just gorgeous.

My Daniel.

* * *

"Can I take your bags Miss?" 

My old driver from when I had lived in New York asked me, yes my mother still had the same limousine driver from way back.

"Good to see you again" I said, smiling.

He looked at me confused, I've hardly ever spoken to the driver, but I was in a happy mood.

Daniel and I got inside the limousine, sitting side by side.

We eventually arrived at the Valmont townhouse. It hadn't changed. It still looked exactly the same as I remember it.

"This is where you lived?" Daniel asked me, wrapping an arm around my waist as we entered the door.

"Mhmm"

"It's nice" He commented.

True it was half, maybe even a quarter of the size of mine and Daniel's house, but it was still elegant and I still loved the house.

I hadn't expected my mother or Edward to be home when we arrived, but to my surprise both we sitting on the couch by the fire, not arguing, they actually looked happy, which shocked me a lot.

"Hello mother and Edward" I greeted them.

My mother and Edward got up immediately. Of course, for public reasons only my mother embraced me into a hug. Edward did the same, but he did it just because he liked to touch me, his hands always were lower than what they should be and he always held me longer than he should.

"What are you doing here?" My mother exclaimed.

"Mother, Edward, this is my boyfriend Daniel Cosgrove. Daniel this is my mother Tiffany and my step-father Edward" I politely introduced them.

"It's so nice to meet you" My mother said, extending her hand for Daniel to kiss.

Politely he kissed her hand.

"Same here. It's nice to see Kathryn with someone" Edward greeted him, giving him a hand shake.

"It's very nice to meet Kathryn's parents at last" Daniel said.

"Please sit, both of you" Edward told us.

We sat on the couch across from my mother and Edward, side by side. Edward made Daniel and I a drink. I think we'd be needing it.

"So what do you do Daniel?" My mother asked, with that hint of flirting in her voice.

"I own a very well known London magazine called Perfection"

"You're quite young to own a magazine" My mother said.

"I'm not that young, I'm 28. It was my father's magazine, he got sick and passed it on to me, I just made it a well known fashion magazine"

Yes my mother was hitting on him.

"Excuse me mother and Edward, but we've had a long flight and it's getting rather late. I think both Daniel and I would just like to go to bed" I said, kissing my mother and Edwards on their cheeks.

"Sure dear, have a good sleep, both of you"

As soon as we had left their site I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my extreme hate for both of them.

"Something wrong?" Daniel asked me.

"Nothing. Just couldn't you tell my mother was hitting on you?"

"Yeah I could. She seems sweet"

"Hardly"

We got to my room and I opened my bedroom door. My room had changed, it'd been painted a light shade of green.

"What happened to my room?" I exclaimed dropping my bag on the floor.

"Not always like this?"

"No, it was blue…my room"

"It's nice"

I got angry, this was my room.

"It's not nice…it's green!"

"Calm down Kathryn, its okay"

He kissed me softly, reassuring me that it was okay. I suppose I was just a little on edge about being here.

I got into my night gown and we both climbed in bed. Daniel fell straight asleep, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I couldn't sleep though. There was something about this house that kept me awake.

I had been laying there for almost 3 hours, awake. I heard footsteps and then my mother.

"Sebastian! Apologise to me now!" My mother screeched.

Sebastian. Sebastian. Fuck.

"I'm sorry Tiffany for stating the truth" His voice seemed deeper.

I heard my mother storm off and Sebastian go into his room.

"I'm sorry about that Belle"

Isabelle. Isabelle and Sebastian.

"It's okay Sebastian. Let's just get what you came here for and go back to our place. Maybe we could…" I didn't hear the rest of the sentence.

"Sure. Hey why don't you wait downstairs, I'll be there in a second"

"Okay. I love you"

"I love you too" Sebastian replied.

I couldn't breathe.

Sebastian walked closer to my door and touched the door knob. I heard it turn, but then it stopped. My door didn't open.

"Kathryn" I heard him whisper.

Then he left.

* * *

**A/N: Obviously because I updated this after the other one I'm not going to have any reviews yet, but I am hoping you like the new spin on the story I hope you'll all be kind enough and review to let me know what you think about it. For now, I think I may go write more on my new story.**


	20. Vingt

**A quick note; Okay so I have my precious laptop back now! So I'm updating this with two chapters for you all. Plus I'll be working on a new chapter for both 'Hidden Secrets' and 'Two Of A Kind' and update them ASAP. As well as all that I've got a story in the making that I've written a chapter or so for that I'm editing. So it's glad to be back, and I'm so happy I can write for you guys. Enjoy.**

* * *

"You look beautiful Kathryn" Daniel told me as we stepped inside Blaine's house.

"Thank you"

Blaine's house had pretty much stayed the same, besides the few arty pictures laying around it was just as I remembered it.

"Kathryn!" Blaine screeched, running up to me and embracing me.

"Faggot" I said, pushing him back.

"Kathryn" Daniel nudged me, obviously wondering why I was being rude.

"It's okay. Kate and I have this weird friendship. You must be the boyfriend" Blaine said, extending his hand to Daniel.

"Daniel Cosgrove"

"Blaine Tuttle"

The boys shook hands.

I looked around a little on edge. What if Sebastian was here?

"Blaine…" I started, he knew what I was going to ask.

"No" He replied calmly.

I smiled. Good.

"I brought you something" I said, pulling out a magazine from my handbag.

Blaine had once told me that when he had visited London with his parents some time ago, Perfection had been is favourite magazine to read. But they didn't sell it many places around New York and he usually had to order it in.

"Oh my god Kathryn I love you"

Blaine took the magazine from my hand and flipped through it almost instantly, walking off into the lounge room where the party was being held.

Daniel looked at me confused.

"He's gay" I commented, pulling Daniel along with me further into the house.

Daniel kissed my cheek affectionately and held me close. Around us were underage teens and the usual air heads and self absorbed jerks that usually came to parties. They were really just here because Blaine had free drugs and free alcohol.

"Kathryn?" A voice behind me asked. For a moment I stood still afraid of whom it might be, but slowly recognised the voice of a girl I had been somewhat close to in high school.

"Tabby" I greeted her, hugging her loosely.

"It's been a long time" She commented, looking at Daniel. "Where have you been hiding?"

"London" I said.

"Wow and who's this?" She said, smiling at my boyfriend.

"My boyfriend, Daniel. Daniel this is Tabby"

They greeted each other and immediately started to talk, I was already bored of this party. For some reason New York parties seemed so inadequate compared to those parties I had been to in London.

"Daniel can you excuse me? I'm going to go find Blaine, I'm sure Tabby won't mind looking after you"

"It's okay, go ahead baby" He said kissing me.

I walked down Blaine's hallway to his bedroom where I figured he'd either be having sex or reading the magazine I had given him.

"Blaine you faggot, you're hiding from your own party"

I opened the door, not expecting what I did see inside.

"You have got to be kidding me" I muttered as I stood in the doorway.

Sebastian and Blaine both looked at me, they looked deep in conversation. Right now I wished that I hadn't bothered to come to New York at all.

I turned around to leave, I didn't care if he didn't say hi, I just wanted to leave.

"Kathryn wait" Blaine said, getting up and moving to me.

He pulled me just outside the room.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know he was going to be here. He only arrived a few minutes ago; I thought I could get him to leave before you would notice"

"It's okay, he can stay. I'm leaving"

"Kathryn don't leave, he's going"

Blaine walked back in the room and sat with Sebastian. I stood back in the doorway. I wasn't going to speak to him.

"Hi" He simply said to me.

I didn't reply.

"Sebastian I think it's time you go" Blaine asked.

"I'm not going. You're my best friend Blaine, I fully intend on staying here and celebrating your birthday"

"As much as I appreciate it Sebastian I want you to go, you haven't called or come to see me in months. Just leave"

"I'm staying"

I couldn't take it anymore. He had to go.

"Just fuck off Sebastian!" I screamed. "Blaine said leave, just go"

"It's nice to know you're still a bitch"

Sebastian got up and started to make his way over to the door where I was standing. He stopped though when he reached Blaine's desk where the magazine was open to the centre page and I was standing there in my black, Chanel dress.

"It's you" He smiled. "You're a model?"

"Yes, now get the fuck out"

Daniel came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Really he was the last person I wanted here witnessing this.

"New toy?" Sebastian asked.

"Boyfriend" I snarled.

"Rich?"

Daniel was completely oblivious to what was going on, Blaine was sitting on his bed, shaking his head.

"Fuck you Sebastian"

He laughed, wickedly but some what real. "Married remember"

"Don't worry, I can't forget"

We stared at each other intently, neither of us taking eyes of each other.

"You look nice in this picture" He commented, running his hands over the picture.

"Just leave"

"Blaine is my friend Kathryn and I'll stay if I want"

"Don't you have to get back to your oh-so-perfect wife?"

"Don't you have to get back to where ever the fuck you were and keep being a whore?"

Sting.

Daniel stood in front of me and blocked my view of Sebastian.

"I think you should have more respect for ladies, certainly this lady who is my girlfriend thank you"

"My he certainly is a good one Kat, taught him how to sit too?" Sebastian stood to the side so he could see me.

"Fucking leave Sebastian now" Blaine told him, pushing him out the door, he brushed past me.

Daniel looked at me, worry within him. "What was that about?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just nothing"

"Isn't he your step-brother?"

And a little more, or used to be anyway.

"Yes"

"He certainly is rude and arrogant"

Don't I know it.

* * *

"Kathryn what went on at Blaine's?" Daniel asked me as I threw my bag on my bed.

"Nothing, just drop it"

"Kathryn don't lie to me please"

"I'm not lying. Sebastian and I just don't get along"

"That's not it. I saw the way you both looked at each other"

"The only way I look at the self absorbed bastard is with utter hate"

Daniel sighed. I turned around and pulled my hair to the side so Daniel could un-zip me.

"Well I don't think that's what he thinks of you" Daniel said, slowly un-zipping my dress.

I rolled my eyes, slipping my dress to my ankles. "He's married"

"Oh"

Exactly oh.

He pulled out a few papers from his suitcase and sat on my bed, spreading them across. I slipped on my silk night gown and slid across the bed, moving the papers to the side.

"What are you doing?" He asked, keeping his eyes on the papers.

"Playing"

I moved up and kissed him tenderly, grabbing at the back of his neck and pulling him down on top of me.

"Kathryn…" I kissed him again. "Kathryn" Again. "Kathryn" He pulled away.

"I can't right now, I have a few things to sort out"

"Sure whatever"

"Don't be like that" He said, kissing my cheek.

"I'm going to go downstairs and get a glass of water, maybe find a book to read"

I got up, glancing back. He didn't even watch me as I walked out. Just kept reading and scanning and taking notes.

I walked down the stairs quietly. No one besides Daniel and me were home, which was good. I wouldn't have to deal with my mother's disapproving looks, or Edward's perverted ways.

Reaching the kitchen I heard someone inside. Figuring it was one of the maids I called out for a glass of water. I waited, sitting at the table, pondering on my own thoughts. My water soon arrived.

"You can go now" I said, not seeing the person who passed me the water.

"I think I'll stay"

I turned around and saw Sebastian standing behind me wearing a disgusting smirk on his face.

"Not you again" I immediately got up and pushed passed him.

"Don't tell me you haven't missed me Kat"

"It's Kathryn and no I haven't and never will" I said, walking towards the library.

He followed into the library and watched me as I scanned through the books.

"So how long have you and what's-his-face been going out?"

I rolled my eyes, sometimes Sebastian could be so childish. He knew Daniel's name, he just wanted to be arrogant and act like he didn't care. Even though it was obvious that he cared.

"You know his name and frankly Sebastian it's none of your business"

I stepped on my tippy-toes to reach a book on a high shelf.

"Can't a brother care about his sister?"

He came up behind me and reached over the top of me, pulling the book down from the shelf. His head hovered above mine, he moved to the side and we were centimetres away from kissing. I pulled away and sat at one of the couches in the library.

"_Daniel_ and I have been dating for almost 2 years"

He looked surprised.

"So who else did you fuck on the side?"

I smirked and looked up at him. "No one"

His mouth dropped, literally.

"You're lying"

"I'm not lying"

He looked me in the eye, then he knew I wasn't lying.

"Shit, you're not lying. You actually are faithful to the guy"

"No shit. Now how come you're here and not…wherever you and Isabelle are living?"

He sighed and looked like he didn't really want to go into things.

"Trouble with the missus?"

"No"

"Again, then how come you're here and not there?"

He shut the book he had been briefly scanning through and looked like he was about to say something. Instead he just stopped and smiled.

"So what does Daniel do?"

"Don't change the subject Sebastian"

I got up and put my book on the desk, sitting beside it in front of him in my night gown.

"I'm just being curious"

"If you must know, he owns a London fashion magazine"

Sebastian nodded his head. "He seems a little young to own a fashion magazine"

I smiled and raised my eyebrows. "It was his fathers, he died and passed it on to him and he's not _that_ young"

I opened my legs slightly, resting my feet on Sebastian's legs. He stared straight between my legs then looked back at me, massaging my smooth legs.

"What do you mean by not that young? 25? 26?" He questioned, running his hands slowly up my leg.

"28"

"Christ Kathryn he's 6 years older than you! Don't you think you could do a little better!?" He yelled at me, all the while keeping his hands on me.

I kicked his chest and got up. "Eat me Sebastian. What do you care anyway? You got your fucking fairytale ending. Besides that Daniel happens to love me"

I grabbed my book and made my way to the door.

"Do you love him?" He asked, not to sure whether he was going to get an answer from me.

I looked at him, wondering what I should say. "I don't think it's of your concern" I walked out of the room and made my way back to my bedroom.

Daniel was still awake when I came back, he was just putting his papers away.

"Have fun" He said, kissing my cheek as he climbed into bed.

"Oodles" I said sarcastically.

He turned off the lamp beside the bed and I nestled up to him. Instinctively he put his arm over me.

"I love you. Goodnight" He said, yawning.

* * *

I had awoken quite early the next morning, I hadn't slept much at all. I layed on my back, staring at my ceiling, Daniel was still asleep, I really didn't want to wake him up. He could use a rest.

Suddenly I heard voices in the hall.

"I'm sorry Sebastian I shouldn't have gotten mad at you last night"

Silence, a few footsteps surrounded my room.

"I just couldn't take it Isabelle. I love you, but I just don't know if we're ready"

"Sebastian…." The voice trailed off, turning into quiet whispers.

"I know, I know" Sebastian replied.

"Then how come you don't want to?" The woman said.

There was no voice for almost a minute; I started to get up, thinking that who ever had been there was gone now.

"I'm just not sure if it's right for us"

"Right for us! Right for us? Sebastian we're fucking married!"

I laughed to myself, Isabelle was with Sebastian.

He hushed her. "Kathryn's here with her…boyfriend. You'll wake her…them"

"Kathryn's here!? Great!"

I opened my door in my skimpy night gown and smiled brightly at the two.

"Good morning dear brother and Isabelle. So very lovely to see you again Isabelle"

"I'm sure it is" She rolled her eyes and started to walk off.

"Wait Belle!" Sebastian called after her, she stopped and waited at the stairs.

Daniel appeared behind me, sleepily rubbing his eyes and yawning. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my neck. "What's going on out here, sounds like…Bella?"

"Sounds like Bella?" I questioned, looking puzzled.

Daniel let go of me and rushed over to Isabelle, embracing her in a tight hug and smiling at her. She returned the hug and the smile. Both looked utterly shocked to see each other.

"Daniel, what are you doing here?" She asked, looking up at him like a lost puppy.

He rubbed her arm gently, both Sebastian and I looked at one another puzzled.

"I'm with Kathryn"

The two continued talking whilst Sebastian and I watched, finally I had had enough and went up to the two.

"Okay what the hell is going on here?"

Daniel grabbed my hand and held it in his.

"Kathryn Bella…Isabelle was my girlfriend some time ago"

I was shocked. How could some one like Daniel, so perfect, so elegant and charming date someone like Isabelle?

"Daniel we weren't just dating. We were engaged remember?" She smirked at me.

Sebastian came up to his wife, spinning her to face him. "Excuse me? You didn't tell me you had been engaged before?"

I looked up at Daniel.

"Well, it was a long time ago now" She said.

I was ready to punch her face in. I hated the fact that my Daniel once dated Sebastian's now wife. I hated the fact that she had experienced him before I had, she knew everything I did about him.

"We were in love" She smiled at Daniel, he smiled back.

"Okay I've had enough. Get the fuck out of my house Isabelle" I turned around furiously and looked back at Daniel. "You come with me, I think we need to talk"

Sebastian stopped him before he could follow me. "Watch out for the flying vases she tends to throw when she's angry"

As soon as Daniel got into my room I hurled a expensive glass vase at his head, it shattered against the wall, but a fragment hit him and scratched his otherwise perfect face. I threw another object, it missed, but not by that much.

"Kathryn calm down" He said, walking towards me.

"Calm down? Calm down! You never told me you had been engaged! To her!" I yelled, getting ready to throw a heavy book at him.

He grabbed my arms before I could throw it.

"I didn't think it was relevant" He said, calmly talking to me.

"No? I fucking told you everything about me. I told you why I left this hell hole in the first place! I told you my life story. Some how you forgot to mention that you were engaged once!"

I kicked him hard in the chin. He winced, but didn't let go of me, restraining me to the floor. He sat on top of me, pinning my arms to the ground as I screamed more at him.

"I'm sorry Kathryn, but I really didn't think you'd care" He said, trying to calm me down.

"Anyone else I wouldn't have cared Daniel. Anyone fucking else and I would have just let it go. But her? How could you even want to date her!"

He smiled as if he didn't care that I was screaming at him.

"If I didn't know any better Kathryn I would say you're jealous" His charming accent appearing.

"I'm not jealous! I just hate the tramp!" I yelled, kicking my legs.

"Do you hate her because she's the girl you got dumped for?"

I stopped kicking and looked at him.

"What?"

He got off me and sat on my bed, I got up and stood in front of him.

"Kathryn I'm many things but stupid is not one. I can see the way you look at Sebastian. It's obvious something went on at one point or another. You loved him, maybe a long time ago but you loved him and by what I can tell he was the guy who rejected you. He rejected you for Isabelle"

No one had ever said that to me. No one had ever told me what Sebastian had actually done. Sure I knew it, but for some reason it hurt more when someone was pointing it out to me.

"Leave" I plainly said, turning my back on him.

"Kathryn don't be angry at me" He said, coming up behind me and running his hands down my bare shoulders.

"Go, get the fuck out of my site" I shook him off me.

"Fine, I'll call you later with the address of the hotel I'm staying at" He said, walking away.

What happened next was unbelievable. I cried. I hadn't cried since I left New York. So it was amazing for me to cry, the thing was I was crying not over Daniel, I was crying over the hurt I was feeling for Sebastian's rejection.

I certainly didn't want to cry over Sebastian, but it just came.

I pulled the book Sebastian dedicated to me out from a pocket in my suitcase. I turned it to the back where Sebastian had written a final entry about me, before he closed the book on me forever.

_I'm an idiot. I've hurt her more than I could ever imagine doing. She claims that she doesn't care and that it'll be fine, she'll leave and just forget about me. But I watched her read my letter I left for her, telling her my decision. She was upset I could tell. I hate myself for making her hurt. I hate myself for choosing Isabelle over Kathryn. _

_I remember the night Kathryn and I first had sex. I had almost walked away from her, because of Isabelle. The worst thing about it was I didn't feel guilty at all afterwards. I was happy that Kathryn and I had finally done the deed, I was happy. I felt like such a bastard when I saw Isabelle, she had no idea._

_Although I've had sex with Kathryn a few times, it's never been anything more. Anything more than a good fuck that is. I'm not sure what it is exactly that I feel for Kathryn, but it is something between caring and loving. I certainly don't trust her anymore, she's no one to be fucked with that's for sure._

_Unfortunately for me I've fucked her so bad that forever she'll hate me. I've made her leave, to god knows where. No one will tell me where she is going, not even Blaine. He had just told me that she didn't want me to know. I said I wanted to give her something as a last goodbye, but truth be told I wanted to kiss her and hold her. I wanted to correct my mistake and choose her. _

_A few years from now I'll probably be married to Isabelle, kids even. We'll be happy, or she'll be happy at least and I'll always have this thought in the back of my head about Kathryn. I don't know what to do, I wish I knew where she was going to go. She'll come back one day, married, children, happy and she would have totally forgotten about me all because I was a complete idiot and didn't see how lucky I was to have Kathryn. _

It seemed completely stupid now, he was right about him being married. I'm pretty sure both were happy in their choices. I'm not sure whether Isabelle knew anything about Sebastian and my relationship before I left. I hope she did.

I put the book slowly back, I wanted to burn it, but I didn't want to regret it later.

* * *

Reviews?


	21. Vingt et un

I put on the dress Daniel had bought me not so long ago, the one I adored and had wanted so badly. I looked fabulous in it, not that I had expected to look any less. I had swept my hair up, having a few loose strands dangling around my face.

Tonight I was attending a charity function on my mother's request of course. She told me that it would do wonders for my reputation if I attended one with Daniel. The fact was I wasn't even attending it with Daniel; I hadn't even spoken to him since yesterday. I was only going to this stupid charity function for something to do.

"Wow that looks expensive" Blaine commented as he flicked through assorted magazines on my bed, waiting for me to be done.

"It is" I said, fixing my make-up.

"How much?"

"Enough money that I didn't even by it myself because I would have felt stupid spending so much on a dress"

Blaine looked puzzled.

"Then how did you get it?"

"Daniel" I sighed.

He smiled and kept flicking through one of the magazines. He stopped on a page with a full page article on Daniel and I. He was reading some celebrity magazine, those ones that gossip about you just because you wore the wrong shoes or took the wrong person to an exclusive event.

"Daniel Cosgrove a multi-billion dollar magazine owner of 28 years of age was spotted with a mysterious girl at a London magazine launch. The girl, a beautiful brunette whose name we found to be a Kathryn Merteuil of New York seemed to be cuddling up to Mr. Cosgrove. She is believed to be only 22 years of age"

He laughed at me, I think because it had something about me cuddling up to Daniel. Was it entirely impossible that even I needed someone to cuddle up to every now and then?

I rolled my eyes.

"The pair look inseparable and have been spotted at several other events around London together. Kathryn Merteuil has been Perfection's centre page model for quite some months in a row now. Some people say it's because she is dating Daniel, others believe it's just her beauty"

"Beauty" I said, sitting on a chair to fix my shoe.

"Close friends of Daniel have told us that…" Blaine stopped.

I looked at him. "Read"

"You don't really want to hear it" He said, getting nervous.

"Just read it, I'm sure it's nothing that I can't handle"

"Kat…I just think"

"Fucking read" I ordered him.

"Close friends of Daniel have told us that they haven't see Daniel as happy as he is now since his engagement to former fiancée Isabelle. The two broke up after Isabelle was rumoured to have had an affair with an American whose identity we could not define"

My nails dug into the chair I was sitting in, I almost ripped the upholstery.

"Let's go" I said, getting up.

We travelled down to the party, my mother met me with one of her infamous icy glares which I just shrugged off.

"You're late" She said.

"I was getting ready" I plastered a smile on my face.

Blaine had already had enough of my mother and had decided to scope around for a good fuck. I stood there beside my mother being pleasant, greeting former friends.

Soon enough as I had expected Isabelle and Sebastian walked in the door, Sebastian's arm was wrapped around her waist and she was smiling like there was no tomorrow. Stupid girl, smiling gives you wrinkles.

"Hello mother, Kathryn" Sebastian said, greeting us both politely in front of the public.

"I'm so glad you could both make it" My mother said, kissing Isabelle's cheek.

I think my mother liked Isabelle more than she liked me sometimes. Then again my mother didn't like me at all.

"Kathryn, Sebastian, why don't you go dance together? For a picture in the paper?"

"But mother!" I protested suddenly.

Sebastian didn't seem to mind, in fact he didn't protest at all and as soon as the words had left my mother's mouth Sebastian had let go of Isabelle and extended his hand to grab mine.

"No buts Kathryn, do as I say"

I stormed off in the direction of the dance floor with Sebastian.

He placed a hand at the small of my back and the other joined with my hand. I placed a hand on his shoulder, joining my hand with his. We glided across the dance floor.

"Where's the boyfriend?

"Not here" I replied before I could stop myself.

"I can see that"

His hand went down a bit lower, resting right above my ass.

"Sebastian…" I warned.

"Don't worry I wasn't going to do anything…I'll leave that for later" He smirked.

I stood on his foot on purpose, crushing his toes with my heel.

"Fuck" He muttered.

"You have a wife, you should not be trying to get into my panties Sebastian" I snarled.

I rested my head on his chest, slow dancing like we used to when it was just me and him. I could feel his heart beat steadily.

"Sebastian?" I asked.

"Mmm?"

"Have you ever wondered what it'd be like…fuck me" I cursed.

"What? Did you…? I am hearing right?" He said, gently pulling away.

"No idiot, Daniel just walked in the door. I have to get out of here"

"Let me take you, he'll never think you're with me"

As stupid as his plan seemed at the time I thought it was a good idea. He escorted me off the dance floor, I didn't really care if my mother or anyone else had seen, right now I just wanted to get out of there.

We walked the long way to the indoor pool, which was located conveniently at the other end of the house.

"There, no one should find you here" He said.

"Thanks"

He looked me up and down as if noticing for the first time what I was wearing.

"You look gorgeous tonight Kathryn, new dress?" He asked, spinning me around to have a good look.

"It's from London"

"Expensive?"

"Daniel bought it for me" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He seemed to go quiet so I decided to change the subject to something a little less tense.

"Do you remember the time…" I paused and stepped closer to him, he stepped back a little, standing at the edge of the pool.

"Yes?" He said, cautious of where this was going.

"We…fucked" I said, suddenly pushing him into the pool, suit and all. On instinct he went to grab something to stop his fall, unfortunately for me and my dress it was me and we both toppled into the pool.

"Sebastian!" I shrieked.

He pulled me up. "Sorry, are you okay?"

"Fine, but I don't think my dress is"

I stood on the steps, pulling off my shoes and studying my dress. It was ruined, my heel had caught on the back and ripped a small hole in it, not too mention the red drops on it.

"Why is there blood on it?" I questioned, looking at myself.

Finding no answer on me I looked at Sebastian. I must have scratched him on my way down because he had a small cut on his lip that was bleeding.

I jumped back in and touched it, he winced.

"Sorry"

"I ruined your dress" He said, not worrying that he was bleeding.

True he ruined my new and very, extremely expensive dress but at the present moment I couldn't care. I didn't care and I didn't know why. I was supposed to be angry at him for ruining it. I was supposed to be yelling and screaming.

He slowly moved his hands around the back of me and un-zipped it, pulling it off me gently.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Taking it off"

He threw it onto the chair by the pool. I was now just in my bra and panties.

We went silent, he watched me and I watched him.

I swam closer to him and brushed my hand over the cut on his lip. I felt bad for making him bleed so I leaned in and kissed his lip softly, not intentionally.

"I'm sorry" I whispered again after kissing it.

I kissed his mouth this time, pushing him against the wall gently.

His hands wandered to my waist, I wanted him to touch me, but I also just wanted him to leave his hands where they were. It was nice to be kissed and not have hands wandered all over me.

I pulled away slightly, he looked down at me with those blue eyes I had dreamed about so many times.

He nuzzled my nose with his softly and caressed my face, wiping away the wet hair from my face.

"I'm sorry too"

I suddenly wanted to bring up the book he dedicated to me. So I pulled away and moved a little from him.

"Did you mean those things you wrote about me?"

"What things?" He asked.

"In that book about me. Did you really mean you wish you could have chosen me?"

He sighed.

"Kathryn can we not fight please?"

"No Sebastian did you mean it or not?" I asked sternly.

"Back then yes I did"

I looked at him hurt.

"So you don't now?"

"You're happy with Daniel, in all honesty I don't think I could have done that to you"

"I have to go" I told him.

"Wait Kathryn, please don't go"

I whipped my head around, still on my way out.

"Why Sebastian? So you can fuck me and then go back to your wife? I'm sorry but I'm not your whore"

I walked away with my wet dress and a towel wrapped around me. I had to take the long way to my bedroom as the party was still going on downstairs. When I got to my room Daniel was there.

"Where were you?" He questioned.

"I was…"

"Swimming?" He asked.

"Yeah"

I put the dress on a chair and dried myself off.

"What happened to your dress?" He asked angrily.

"I fell into the pool"

He picked it up, noticing the tear and the blood on it.

"Kathryn you ruined it! You ruined this dress! Do you even know how much this cost me Kathryn!? It cost more than most people make in a year and you bloody ruined it!"

"I'm sorry I fell and it must have caught on my heel and…"

"And what!? You forgot to mention the part about Sebastian!" He yelled.

"What?"

"I saw you run off with him Kathryn"

"I didn't run off with him" I lied.

I put on my robe and walked over to him, trying to get him to listen to me.

"Don't lie to me Kathryn. God, we never should have come. I knew you would do this. I knew you couldn't help yourself"

"Excuse me?" I asked. I was offended.

He pushed me back and I fell on to my bed.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from the guys here. I knew you'd have to fuck one sooner or later"

"I didn't fuck anyone" I told him.

"Don't fucking lie to me Kathryn!"

"I'm not lying!"

I threw an old photo frame at the wall, smashing it to the floor and the photo fell to the floor.

"Don't try and manipulate me Kathryn. I know when you're lying, you fucked him didn't you? Did you enjoy it? Huh? Did you scream out his or my name when you were cumming?"

I walked up to him and slapped him as hard as I possibly could. My hand stung from the hard confrontation. His cheek glowed a bright red.

"Bitch!" He yelled, pushing me back as hard as he could. I stumbled and fell on the ground, hitting my head on the bed.

Immediately I didn't feel good. I threw up whatever I had eaten that day, if much at all.

"Oh fuck" I said, looking down at the contents I had just brought up, most of it wasn't food, most of it was blood.

He wasn't looking at me, he hadn't seen me spew, or seen the blood. I felt dizzy, light headed. I kept throwing up, blood dribbled from my mouth.

Suddenly my door burst open, to my surprise it was Sebastian. He had opted to come and see me and talk. He took one look at me on the ground and swung at Daniel, hitting him fairly in the mouth and knocking him to the ground.

"Kathryn, it'll be okay I'm calling an ambulance now"

Sebastian flipped open his cell phone and dialled for an ambulance, he held my hair back as he did this. Daniel watched me from afar.

"I'm here Kathryn" Sebastian said, caressing my hair.

* * *

I rubbed my head as I opened my eyes groggily. Had it all been a dream? When my vision was clear I saw that it wasn't a dream, I was in fact in the hospital, only Sebastian wasn't by my side, Daniel was.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I'm sorry Kathryn. I was angry. I didn't mean to…"

"Hit me?" I asked, sitting up.

"Yes"

"Just get out"

"I didn't know you had a brain tumour"

"It was a long time ago and they removed it"

"You should be more careful" He said, stroking my hair.

"More careful around you, you mean? Not likely seeing as I don't plan on ever seeing you again"

"Kathryn don't be like that"

Daniel grabbed my hand and caressed it lovingly.

"I love you Kathryn more than anything. I would never intentionally hurt you like that again. I was angry about it all, you were angry at me about Isabelle, I just felt so stupid about not telling you" He kissed my hand.

I could not help but smile. As much of a bitch that I am, Daniel always had a way with me. I could never be angry at him for long, he always had ways to make me smile.

"I'm sorry" He said.

Then unexpectedly he pulled a box out of his jacket pocket and opened it up. Inside was a very beautiful ring with a large diamond in the centre of the gold band.

"Daniel" I gasped.

"Marry me Kathryn Merteuil, make me the happiest man alive"

Truthfully I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say yes and have my own fairytale happy ending, but I didn't trust him. I was afraid of getting hurt, not only physically, but also emotionally.

"I…"

"Think about it. I don't expect an answer straight away"

He put the ring box on my bedside table and kissed my cheek, leaving my room.

Later that day I was discharged, I waited out the front for my limousine. When it didn't come I was about to call the driver when Sebastian and his jag showed up.

He got up and picked up my bag, not saying a word to me all the while.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Your mother and my father have the limousine, I thought I'd come and pick you up"

"You didn't have to. I could have called Daniel"

He looked at me disgusted.

"That bastard? Kathryn he hit you, he didn't even notice that you were throwing up blood"

I got in the car.

"He loves me" I finally said.

When I noticed that Sebastian wasn't heading to the townhouse in New York I asked him where we were going. "Where are we going?"

"My Aunt Helen's Estate"

"Why?"

"She's having a family dinner, our parents, Isabelle, me and you"

Great.

"Do you love him?"

"Sebastian honestly I don't think it concerns you"

He looked at me with those eyes of his.

"You don't love him" He said.

"Oh really now?" I smiled, raising my eyebrows at him.

"Really"

"Then who do I love?" I asked, my hand was gently placed high on his leg.

He cleared his throat and looked jumpy. "Kathryn…I'm married remember"

"Mhmm, but it wasn't going to stop you the other day"

I moved my hand up a little higher; it rested on the inside of his thigh.

"Kathryn stop being stupid"

I stopped and returned my hand to my own lap as we pulled up to his Aunt Helen's. His erection was clearly visible.

"Might want to relieve that before you go inside" I said smirking.

"Bitch" He smiled.

* * *

The family was seated around Helen's long dining room table. Helen was at one end of the table, my mother and Edward sat across from each other at the other end of the table. I had got to the table before Sebastian and Isabelle and decided to sit in the middle. Daniel had of course sat beside me.

"Where's Sebastian?" Helen asked me.

"Here I am Aunt Helen" He politely kissed his Aunt's cheek and sat across from me. Isabelle sat across from Daniel.

I started to eat, along with everyone else but suddenly I felt something on my leg, at first I let it keep going as I thought it was Daniel, but when it got higher up I realised it wasn't a hand at all and it certainly wasn't Daniel.

I glared over to Sebastian who seemed to be intently listening to his Aunt. I decided to play a little game, so I moved Sebastian's foot higher.

When it go right to my panties I slowly reached down and stabbed him in the foot with my fork hard.

"Mother fucking!" Sebastian yelled.

"Sebastian!" His Aunt screeched.

Isabelle glared at Sebastian.

"Sorry, I…I bumped my toe" Sebastian said, making up a lame excuse.

I smirked, that would teach the fucker for trying to feel me up during dinner.

"May I be excused? I'm not feeling well" I said, getting up. Daniel went to get up with me.

"Stay honey. I'll be fine" I said, kissing his cheek.

As soon as I was far away enough not to be heard I rang Sebastian's cell phone.

"Hello?" He answered.

"You've made me all wet Sebastian, want to come fuck me?" I asked, knowing very well that he would come to me.

He didn't say anything immediately.

"Oh uh sure…" He said, fumbling for words. "Hold a second"

He must have placed his hand over the speaker because what he said next I could not hear as well as I could before.

"Excuse me, it's my secretary. She's calling about…work. I have to take this" He said.

He got back on the phone.

"That's dirty Sebastian, telling your family that you've gone to take a work call from your secretary" I told him, speaking seductively.

"Where are you?" He asked me.

"Come find me and maybe I'll reward you" I purred into the phone.

No sooner had I said that the door to the third floor study opened and Sebastian appeared smiling.

"Found you" He said, hanging up the phone.

"No fair" I pouted. "How did you know I was here?" I opened my legs so Sebastian could stand in between them.

"You used to hide here when we played hide and seek"

Sebastian leaned down, hovering his lips over my neck. Of course I had no intention of letting Sebastian touch me at all. It was just nice to have someone to play with.

"So how about that fuck?" He asked, running his hands down the sides of me.

I jumped of the desk and pushed him back bending over on to the desk. I looked back at smirked, Sebastian looked at me with shock and confusion.

"God Sebastian has it been that long?"

"Not at all" He said.

He moved towards me and grabbed a firm hold of my waist, thrusting forwards. His hard on pressed into me and I was turned on, not that I would let him know that.

His hand reached under my skirt and he rubbed me through my already wet panties. I had lost all sense by now.

"Mmm Kat, you're already wet" He kissed my neck.

Again he thrusted into me, but harder, the ring box that had been in my pocket dropped to the floor, it hadn't made much of a sound so I didn't think Sebastian would notice, but I was wrong.

He completely stopped and bent over to pick the box up. "What's this?" He asked, opening it up. "Planning on proposing to me are we Kat?" He laughed.

I snatched the box from his angrily, staring at him with ice.

"Actually Daniel proposed to me" I snarled.

"What?"

"He proposed to me today"

"And you're thinking about it? You have got to be kidding me"

"He made a mistake" I said, taking out the ring and fumbling with it.

"Kathryn he fucking hit you!"

I pushed him in his chest and hit him. "Well at least he didn't break my heart!" I screamed, saying things I shouldn't have said.

"What?"

"Nothing"

I tried to get him to forget what I was saying, but like me Sebastian could be very stubborn.

"I didn't even think you had a heart" He said.

"Just fuck off Sebastian. Go back to Isabelle, go play happy families and leave me to my own miserable life"

"You're not going to say yes are you?" He asked, taking the ring from my hand.

"Yeah I am, because Daniel can provide for me, he loves me" I said, putting the ring on my wedding finger.

"Oh Jesus, can you be any dumber Kathryn?"

"Excuse me?"

"He's just with you because you're a good fuck and a pretty face" Sebastian blurted out.

I looked at him and he looked straight back at him. Before he knew it I slapped him across the face.

"I…" He started.

"You what? Didn't mean to say that? Fuck off Sebastian. Is that the reason you wanted me? Because I was a pretty face and a good fuck?"

"No Kathryn, I loved you"

"Bullshit Sebastian, get the fuck out of my site. I never want to see you again. Never Sebastian. Try and talk to me and I'll have your balls chopped off"

I pushed passed him making my way to my room, Sebastian insisted on following me so I walked quicker. I got to my bedroom before he had a chance to catch up to me.

"Daniel?" I asked.

Sure enough he was in my room waiting for me.

"Kathryn, there you are"

I leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. I watched Sebastian from over Daniel's shoulder. "Yes I will" I said.

"You will what baby?"

"I'll marry you Daniel. I want to be your wife. I love you" I told him, kissing him passionately, all the while watching Sebastian.

Sebastian turned around and left, I suddenly regretted my decision to marry Daniel.

* * *

**A/N:** There's your two chapters. Hope you enjoyed.


	22. Vingtdeux

For the past week or so I had avoided Sebastian as best I could, which was quite easy as Daniel and I were now staying at a hotel. The only few times I had seen Sebastian this week was at a few parties where I had pulled Daniel into a room to make-out. I was quite sure Sebastian was avoiding me too as every time we even merely came close to one another he would find an excuse to be somewhere and else and leave.

When I had informed my mother of my engagement she was over whelmed, she was telling every body that it was because her little girl was getting married but I knew the real reason. The real reason she was so excited for me to be marrying Daniel was because he had a good name and he was extremely rich.

Immediately mother had planned an engagement party, neither Daniel nor I were planning on having one, but my mother insisted, probably so she could brag about whom I was marrying.

Daniel brought his hand down to caress my face lovingly. I stared back at him in my mirror. Although he was quite handsome I could not help but compare him to Sebastian. Sebastian with his golden curly hair and his gorgeous blue eyes, but here was Daniel, who right now I could not describe with words anymore than handsome but bland.

He smiled to me; I wondered what he was thinking. I always wondered what Daniel was thinking. Ever since I had known him he always had a look of utter stress, he never looked relaxed, even when he slept like something was constantly tugging on him, wanting something from him that he could just not give.

I gave him a small smile back, hoping that he wouldn't notice my distance this past week. So far so good because he hadn't mentioned anything, mostly because he had been on the phone a lot to business associates and the moments where he wasn't on the phone he was either sleeping, eating or reading through papers. He barely had time for me lately.

"Kathryn"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up, embracing me closely into a loose hug.

"Mmm?" I asked.

"You're amazing"

In my mind I sighed, I was hoping he would ask for a quick fuck before we go down stairs to the party because I was horny. He hadn't fucked me or played with me in a few days. Always too busy to play, he couldn't take his mind of work for an hour to touch me, even though I was becoming his wife.

"We should go downstairs" I said, retracting from the hug and collecting my bag.

He agreed with me and followed me out the door and downstairs to the decorated ball room filled with New York men and women.

"Congratulations Kathryn" A simple looking girl said as I passed by her. I gave her a polite smile and kept walking, making my way to the bar.

I turned around to see if Daniel was still following me, but I couldn't find him, he had disappeared which didn't bother me as much as it should have.

I contemplated to keep going to the bar but opted to just disappear myself. So I grabbed a bottle of champagne and secretly made my way out the door to the garden of Helen's estate. It was dark and a little colder then it had been before, but no one was around so it was okay to drink.

I had only just opened the bottle when I heard the door open. I cursed under my breath and tried to hide the bottle. When I looked behind my shoulder up at the figure I rolled my eyes and got up to leave.

"Don't worry stay here; I'll be done in a second"

Sebastian took a drag of the cigarette he was holding and then rested his hand by his side. I avoided all eye contact, sitting back down on the cold grass and taking large sips from the bottle of champagne.

"So what are you doing out here? Isn't this _your_ engagement party?" He asked, exhaling.

Fuck off Sebastian, leave me alone.

"Unless of course you don't want to marry him and you only said yes in spite of me" The cockiness in his attitude was apparent.

I took another large sip of the champagne, ignoring him as best I could. He was seriously getting on my nerves, who the fuck invited him anyway? I sure as hell didn't.

I heard him step towards me, taking a seat beside me on the grass. He butted his cigarette in the slightly damp grass and flicked it over his shoulder.

"Admit it Kathryn, the only reason you said yes was because I was pissing you off and you wanted to get back at me"

He leaned in close, the warmth of his breath was on my neck. My will power to ignore him was quickly deteriorating along with my patience.

"You want me Kathryn, I know you do. But you can't have me and you thought that maybe trying to piss me off by marrying that loser would win me back"

I had almost had enough of Sebastian's assumptions.

"I have news for you sweetheart, I love Isabelle not you. I don't want you anymore"

My hand collided with his face and I smirked at him. He looked at me this familiar fury in his eyes.

"Bitch"

"Go fuck yourself"

This time I downed most of the champagne, setting the bottle on the grass. I waited for him to leave, but he didn't, he sat there staring intensely at me like he was waiting for me to scream at him.

"I mean it Sebastian leave. Who the fuck invited you anyway? You weren't on my guest list"

"I know your mother did tell me. She thought maybe you'd forgot by chance so she put me on the list"

"I forgot on purpose"

"Do you think it hurts me to see you with him Kathryn? Do you think I'm suddenly going to declare my all time love for you and divorce Isabelle for you?"

I smiled at the thought of him and Isabelle divorcing, maybe dreams came true.

"No I don't think it hurts you, but hell I know you get jealous to see me with him"

"I do not"

Sebastian protested to me.

"Oh cut the shit Valmont, face it. I'm like a bad habit" I climbed on top of him; instinctively his hands grabbed my waist, our faces met. "As much as you hate me and want me to go away" I licked his lips. "You just can't get rid of me"

He rolled his eyes at me, but didn't let me go. "Oh please Kat, I could get rid of you if I wanted. I could walk away from you right now even"

I kissed his neck gently, grinding my hips into his. "Then do it" I whispered.

Maybe it was the alcohol that was affecting me at the time but I didn't want him to leave, I wanted him to flip me the fuck over and fuck me as hard as he could right now.

He did in fact flip me over on to my back and this time he was on top. He leaned in and whispered to me. "I'm not playing your games anymore Kathryn. I've grown tired and old of you and your games"

"Not tired and old Sebastian" I whispered back, looking into his eyes and smirking mischievously. "Your just pussy whipped and weak now"

Sebastian got off me and looked like he was about to pick me up and find somewhere to fuck me but as if on cue Daniel and Isabelle submerged from the doors of the room.

"Daniel" I said.

Both Daniel and Isabelle looked somewhat flustered and their clothes seemed to be a bit out of order. My first instinct was to think Daniel was cheating on me, remembering that he had disappeared awfully quick, but then I remember he loved me. He wanted to marry me.

"Kathryn, I've been looking everywhere for you" He kissed my cheek.

He held my hand and started to walk me to the door to take me back inside. "I'll see you around Valmont" I smirked back at Sebastian, he stood there with Isabelle by his side grinning towards me like he used to when games were between us.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with an enormous headache. I didn't dare open my eyes; I could feel the sun coming through the window of Mrs. Rosemond's Estate. Daniel and I, along with my mother, Edward, Sebastian and Isabelle had all stayed the night.

The thing was right now I couldn't remember parts of last night, mostly the part where Daniel and I left our own party to have a little drinking party of our own.

Slowly I opened my eyes; I adjusted to the bright lights and rolled over slightly. On the floor were a used condom and my clothes.

"Morning" A deep voice said, emerging from the bathroom.

The voice didn't click immediately but after a moment to adjust to sound I recognised the male's voice.

"Get the fuck out of my room Sebastian"

What the hell was he doing in my bathroom?

I jumped out of a bed, a little quicker than I probably should of and grabbed Sebastian's wrist. "Wait, why the hell were you in my bathroom"

I looked up at him, the blurriness of my vision disappearing quickly. He stared down at me and I remembered that I wasn't wearing anything.

"Stop staring and answer me"

"Chill Kat, we didn't have sex last night. I just thought I'd wake you up with a surprise"

I picked my robe up of the floor and wrapped it around me, Sebastian smirked, knowing very well that I knew he had been staring at me. I checked his pants, sure enough he had a small-ish bulge in his pants from the scene that had just occurred.

"Where is Daniel?"

I took out my crucifix (something that I had recently got re-acquainted with) and took a small bump, rubbing my nostrils free of the white powder.

"Out, with the rest of the family" He snatched the crucifix from me angrily. "I thought you'd quit"

Uptight pussy, he never once stole my crucifix away from me.

"What? Where'd they go?"

I slipped on a pair of panties under my robe, knowing that Sebastian was watching me with care.

"They said something about going horse riding. I objected, telling them I was feeling ill"

I laughed; I probably would have done the same thing.

I flung off my robe and placed a bra over my exposed breasts, turning around to Sebastian so he could clip it up. He didn't object, his hands grazed my back, surprisingly they were warm.

Once he had done I picked out a dress from the cupboard full of clothes I kept at Helen's house and put it over my underwear.

"Besides that, I couldn't leave you here on your own Kat, I mean look at you. You look like shit"

"Thanks dear brother"

He watched me as I applied make-up and did my hair.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked me, coming up behind me and stroking my hair.

"I'm going to go for a swim maybe. You are going to stay here and I don't know…jerk off or whatever it is you do when you're alone"

"I'll come swimming with you"

I got up and turned around, pinching his cheeks lovingly. "Not likely Valmont"

I started to walk off and remembered I wasn't wearing a bathing suit. That would make it incredibly hard to go swimming.

"Unless your planning on swimming in your dress, or naked…don't you think you should be wearing something more appropriate"

"You're right" I smiled, taking off my clothes and pulling out a bathing suit from a draw.

"Care to help me?"

He looked at me, inching his eyes over every square inch of my body. I passed him the bathing bottoms and carefully slid my legs into them. Then I passed him the bathing top, he tied it for me.

"Thanks"

I kissed his cheek and grabbed a towel, making my way to the downstairs pool.

As I suspected Sebastian followed me to the pool. He sat by the side watching me as I glided into the warm water carefully.

"Be a dear and put on some music"

He smiled politely and clicked play on the stereo remote. Some classical music started to play, as much as I disliked Sebastian he did know just what I liked.

I layed on my back and swum slow laps from one end to the other, watching the ceiling and listening to the soothing sounds of classical music. It somehow soothed me, made me a calmer person.

My on going pattern was disturbed suddenly, a wave of water crashed against me and a loud splash followed by sprinkles of water disturbed me.

I stood on my feet and looked to my disturbance; of course Sebastian had to ruin it.

"Sebastian" I groaned, swimming towards the shallower end.

"Couldn't help myself" He smirked.

"I bet"

He swam towards me, sitting on the ledge beneath the water, I sat on the steps facing him.

"So what you just stripped and jumped in the pool in your boxers?" I asked, wondering what he was wearing out of curiosity.

Sebastian looked at me with a smirk.

"Oh you better not be in here naked Valmont"

I jumped off the step and swam more into the middle; he followed me, edging closer. "I'm not" He finally responded.

"Good because I'm so getting…" I paused as he brushed against me. No he definitely was naked. I could feel is growing erection on the side of my leg. "Sebastian!" I screeched, trying to swim away.

"Let go of me you pervert. That's disgusting, you could at least put some shorts on"

Sebastian kissed me before I could scream at him anymore, I would have pulled away…if he wasn't holding me so tight besides that it was just kind of hard to pull away from a kiss like this.

"Sebastian" I moaned as he pulled away. I didn't mean to moan, it just came out like that.

"Moaning my name Kathryn will not make me any less hard" Sebastian stated.

"Damn it Sebastian! Can you not keep it in your pants for 1 day! So much for not wanting me" I swam to the steps and got out of the pool.

"I lied"

Sebastian stayed in the pool, watching me as I wrapped my towel around me.

"Well maybe you should go find your wife and fuck her rather than trying to get into me…because it's not going to happen"

He laughed as if I was making a joke.

"C'mon Kate, you know you want me as bad as I want you"

I went to say something but a familiar giggle stopped me, both Sebastian and I turned to the pool door. Immediately Sebastian got out of the pool and held me back.

"So heroic of you" I said sarcastically.

The giggling stopped a few seconds after I said that, I heard footsteps, they got further and further away until we could not hear them anymore.

"Well that was weird"

"She sounded familiar" Sebastian commented, letting go of me.

"Oh I know, maybe it was your wife and my fiancé fooling around" I replied giddily.

"I wouldn't put it past them"

"Maybe not past Isabelle, but Daniel isn't a man whore and he wouldn't cheat on me after proposing to me, sorry to burst your bubble Valmont"

"But Kat, didn't you see them at your engagement party?"

"Sebastian are you implying that Daniel would go to the cloak room for a quick fuck with your whore of a wife at our engagement party? Because if you are I'm quite sure you're insane"

"Exactly what I'm saying"

"Well then you're completely insane"

I walked off from the pool and made my way through the dining area to my bedroom. On the way I spotted two people in the dining area.

"Daniel?"

Sure enough Daniel turned around and smiled at me, but he wasn't alone. Isabelle was sitting beside him.

"What are you doing back? Sebastian told me you all went horse riding"

"We did, but I thought I should come back here and look after you, Isabelle wanted to see if Sebastian was alright too. So we came back, it's just I couldn't find you"

There was the touch of bitchiness in his voice. I snarled at him for having even the slightest tone of that towards me.

"I was swimming laps in the pool"

"So where's Sebastian?" Isabelle chimed in.

"Well he was watching me swim but I don't know where…" I stopped mid sentence and giggled as a familiar pair of hands slid around my waist, the hands were cold against my skin.

"There you are" Isabelle said standing up.

Sebastian mustn't have noticed Daniel and Isabelle, because I'm quite sure he wouldn't have done that if he had of known. Immediately he retracted his hand and hugged Isabelle.

"Are you feeling better?" Isabelle said with a sickly cute voice that mother's use on their 2 year old kids.

"Much thanks to Kathryn"

One day Sebastian was going to get me in trouble, I'll never be able to make up an excuse and he'll have me get into so much shit even he won't be able to get me out of it.

"What did Kathryn do?" Daniel asked suspiciously grabbing at me and pulling me towards him.

"Oh you know, just a few small things"

I glared at Sebastian, dare he say anymore and I'll personally castrate him.

"Like?"

"Nothing. Just things I used to do when we were younger, read him stories and show him family photos" I said before Sebastian could say anything.

"How…sweet of you baby"

Daniel leaned down and kissed my cheek, I knew he was watching Sebastian.

"Yes, thanks Kat again for everything"

"Eat shit and die Valmont" I snarled before turning to walk away.

However Daniel stopped me and pulled me back. "Kathryn that was rude"

I looked into him, he had a glint of…I don't know what you could call it. But it was strange, it's like he knew mine and Sebastian's past and he was just playing at some game. But I could never imagine him like that.

"Whatever"

"Apologise Kathryn" Daniel sounded like my father had when he used to tell me off.

"No"

"Stop acting like a kid and just apologise Kathryn"

Daniel's grip on me tightened, I looked over at Sebastian, he looked like he was about to punch Daniel's lights out. I decided to play with the two.

"No" I said again.

He tightened again. I leant into him and whispered in his ear "Daniel you're making me so horny, let's go for a quick fuck"

He loosened slightly and smiled at me. "We're going to…talk. See you at dinner Sebastian and Isabelle"

The look on Isabelle's face when Daniel had said that was fucking ridiculous, she looked jealous that I was getting to go screw Daniel and all she had to make up for it was Sebastian, even though, not that I'd ever admit this to absolutely anyone, Sebastian is much better in bed then Daniel will ever be.

* * *

"Kathryn you should really quit smoking" Daniel told me as I exhaled a breath of my cigarette.

Daniel and I ha just finished our quick sex, which was more not quick at all, in fact we had been up in the room for almost 2 hours screwing the hell out of each other. Of course I didn't mind, the less I had to see of the happy husband and wife the better.

"Should be go downstairs?" I asked, unenthusiastically.

It was almost dinner and if we didn't go down, it's likely that Sebastian or Isabelle or even my mother would come up to ask us down for dinner, it's better that we get dressed and go down there instead.

"Yeah we should"

He got up and pulled on his pants and shirt, his hair was somewhat scruffy, he looked nice when he was scruffy.

"What are you staring at?" Daniel asked with his husky British voice.

"You" I smiled at him.

Daniel just shook his head and chucked my clothes at me. I figured it was just his mood.

We eventually got downstairs, after stopping to make out a few times along the way to the dining room. Everyone was for some reason congratulating Isabelle and Sebastian.

"Kathryn there you are" My mother said with a stern voice.

"Yes mother?"

"Sebastian and Isabelle just told us some good news"

I sat down in the seat beside him, with Daniel on my other side, he looked at me with a smirk and held his head high.

"Really and what would that be?" I paused. "You're going to go shoot yourselves?" I muttered under my breath so much that Sebastian was the only one who I think heard me.

"Well Isabelle and I…would you like to tell her honey?" Sebastian asked Isabelle.

Honey? Right.

Isabelle looked over to me and smiled, Daniel held my hand.

"We've decided to have children"

I gripped Daniel's hand tight, he squirmed and tried to free from my grip, somehow he found it impossible.

"Kathryn, sweetie, could you let go?"

I let go and looked down at my dinner. It wasn't anything that I adored but I had to eat it. I didn't bother congratulating Sebastian or Isabelle, seeing as the only reason they had announced that was to get back at me. Childish, Sebastian wasn't ready for children, he never would be. They'll end up being incest man whores or sluts.

Once conversation had recirculated around the table Sebastian tried to make conversation with me. It was hard to just ignore him as everyone around me was talking to other people.

"Aren't you happy for me Kat?" Sebastian whispered close to me.

"Go die" I retorted.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah jealous that you're making a mistake" I rolled my eyes and chewed on the piece of tomato.

"How is it a mistake?"

"Believe it or not Sebastian we both know that you are not ready for a child"

"You're right" He said, I was astonished.

"What? I'm right?"

"Yeah you're right. I'm not ready for children"

"Then…how…why are you going to have one?"

He ran his hand up my leg from under the table. "Because I know you'd hate it"

"Whatever Sebastian"

Suddenly I felt another hand advance up my leg, this time it was Daniel's. This was dangerous, if Daniel found out Sebastian's hand was also there he could blurt it out right here.

"Sebastian" I murmured, trying to get his attention.

He didn't answer, his head was turned away.

"Sebastian" I yelled through whisper.

"What?" He whispered back.

"Get your hand off me now"

"Don't you like it Kat?" He moved it up more, it was now just below Daniel's.

"I like it…just…Daniel's hand is there too"

"This could be interesting" Sebastian smirked.

"Don't you dare Sebastian"

"Or what?"

I thought for a moment.

"Or this" I whispered back right before I screamed and got up from my seat.

"Sebastian! What the hell were you doing!?" I screamed.

The whole attention of the table was directed at me. Daniel looked at me and tried to pull me down.

"What is it dear?" Helen asked.

"Sebastian…" A few fake tears ran down my cheeks. "He was trying to feel me up under the table" I burst into tears.

"Oh come off it Kathryn like you didn't want it"

"Sebastian!" Isabelle hit him with her hand on the shoulder.

"I mean I wouldn't do anything of the sort. She's lying"

Daniel stared daggers at Sebastian and hugged me closely. He excused us both and we walked off towards the stairs. I looked back at the table, Sebastian was staring at me. I mouthed 'fuck you' to him. He looked angrily at me before Isabelle hit him again.

Bastard, and he thought he could play with me.

* * *

**A/N: I don't really have anything to say. Review please.**


	23. Vingttrois

It'd been 2 days since I'd seen Sebastian. After that night Daniel and I had gone back to our hotel.

"I'm going to go shopping" I told Daniel.

He glanced over to me and nodded, returning his attention back to his laptop.

"Are you going to come?"

"I'd love to Kate, but I have a lot of work to do"

"This was meant to be our holiday" I said angrily.

"I know, but if I don't do this, I may not have a job to return to when we get back"

I walked out angrily. Hopefully shopping would cheer me up and I'd come home in a better mood than I was now.

The limousine dropped me off at a boutique I used to love when I lived in New York, Sebastian used to bring me here all the time to shop for new dresses.

No sooner had I arrived Sebastian walked in the door. I sighed and picked up a dress, darting towards the change rooms, in hope that Sebastian wouldn't see me. Unfortunately he did.

"Kathryn!"

I kept walking and eventually made it to the change rooms.

"Kathryn I know you're in there"

"Fuck off Sebastian"

I undressed and put the new dress on.

"I'm not going anywhere until you come out"

"Don't you have a wife to go annoy?"

"She's not with me"

"Then why the hell are you here?"

"Picking up a dress for her"

I had no choice but to come out, I opened the door of the change room stall and glared at Sebastian.

"You look nice" He commented.

"Why are you here Sebastian? Can't you just leave me alone? You fucked up my life once, is it really necessary that you do it again?"

He studied me for a few moments, his eyes cross my body several times before he replies.

"I don't want to fuck up your life Kathryn, I never intended to the first time. Sometimes I just…miss you"

I did forgive him, for almost 2 seconds.

"Un-zip me" I ordered, turning around.

Slowly he un-zipped my dress.

A sales man came up to us and greeted us.

"Kathryn Merteuil? Sebastian Valmont?" The tall and skinny, blonde sales man said.

"Timothy" I smiled.

Timothy worked here when I lived in New York; every time Sebastian and I would come in he would tend to us. We were his best customers.

"I thought you moved to London? You're with Daniel Cosgrove aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm here on holidays"

Sebastian stood silent.

"Sebastian Valmont, still handsome I see. You're married right? To Isabelle"

"Yeah" Sebastian said it almost as if he wished he wasn't married to Isabelle.

"Well it's nice and all to catch up with you Timothy, but I'm going to leave Sebastian here and go"

"Still bickering I see. Things never change" Timothy sighed. It's amazing how he knew us so well.

"Actually they've changed a lot" I commented.

I was right, they had. Sebastian didn't love me anymore, he didn't adore me. He didn't think of me the girl that he'd like to be with forever, not anymore. That was Isabelle. He loved her.

"What do you mean they've changed a lot?" Sebastian asked.

"They have"

"How?"

Timothy stood there watching us.

"For one you are married, two I live in London and three you don't…you…you're a pussy"

"That's not what you were going to say Kat"

"That's exactly what I was going to say"

"No it's not. What were you really going to say? I don't what?"

"Seriously Sebastian, go fuck yourself and die"

"Kathryn Merteuil, that was harsh!" Timothy screeched slightly.

"He deserves it" I gave Sebastian one more glare before I threw the dress I had been wearing at Timothy and left the boutique.

* * *

My cell phone rang, I rolled over and hid my head under my pillow. It kept ringing.

"Answer it" Daniel told me gruffly.

I turned back over and looked over at the brightly lit alarm clock. It was five minutes past 3.00am. Who the hell could be calling me this fucking early in the morning?

"Answer it!" Daniel growled.

I got up and snatched my cell phone from the bedside table. I thought I'd be a bit courteous and take the call out on the balcony. At least Daniel could get some sleep then.

"Hello?" I yawned through the phone, trying to sound polite as one could after being woken up at 3.00am.

"Is this Kathryn Merteuil?"

"Yes, who is speaking?"

"Hold one second please" The person on the other end said.

I heard a few murmurs on the other end.

"Kathryn, I'm Doctor Lishworth" He paused again.

As soon as he said doctor my heart sank a tiny little bit. I was hoping it was something about my mother.

"I'm sorry to inform you but your step-brother Sebastian has been in a horrific car accident and…"

"And what?" A lump in my throat made it difficult to speak.

"And we're sorry, we did everything we could to try and save him, but he had just lost too much blood and his internal injuries were too severe. He's dead"

At first I thought someone was playing a joke on me. I thought it through for a few moments, this would be something Sebastian would do to get a laugh out of me.

"Who set you up to this" I yelled angrily.

"No one miss, look we found Mr Valmont's cell phone in his car, we tried ringing Isabelle Valmont, but there was no answer and you were the only other last call we found"

"You're kidding right? Sebastian's fine isn't he? He's not dead. The stupid arrogant prick can't be dead, he's got too much to pay for first"

Tears actually began to form in my eyes, I still couldn't believe it.

"We're sorry, but it's true. Is it possible for you to come and confirm his body miss?"

Before I knew it I was drenched in my own tears. "No it's fucking not! How dare you tell me that he's dead and then…then…expect me to come down there and see him!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I hung up and threw my phone over the balcony edge. Daniel saw my tear streaked cheeks and my red face.

"What's happened Kate?"

"Oh god…fuck…no" I repeated that string of words several times, thinking about the last thing I had said.

I ran inside and turned on the television.

"In breaking news a horrific accident has occurred just 15 minutes ago, news reporter Chelsea Cunningham is on the scene. Chelsea what do you have for us?" The news reporter didn't reply for a few seconds, ambulance cars and fire trucks, amongst screaming people and police sirens could be heard.

"Kathryn what's going on?" Daniel asked.

"Shhh"

"Hi Rebecca, well only 15 minutes ago this street was clean and traffic free and right now there's a 6 care pile up and a tank truck tipped just behind me. Police have said little about the accident, only that it seems the cause was the wet roads and that it was un lucky for the 14 people who were involved in the crash" Pause. "What can you tell us about the fatalities Chelsea?" Pause. "Well as you can see behind me there and many ambulance officers working frantically to save lives. So far 7 people have been pulled out of the wreckages. All have survived but one, a well known young male, Sebastian Valmont was rushed to hospital only minutes ago, doctors have said that there was little they could do for Mr Valmont, his internal injuries were just too much" Pause. "We'll cross back to you in another 15 minutes to get more on this breaking story. Thanks Chelsea" Pause. "No problems Rebecca"

I switched off the television and stared blankly at the black screen.

"Kathryn I'm so sorry" He gently touched my shoulders.

"Don't" I got up and poured my self a full glass of vodka and downed it with ease, pouring another one and doing the same.

"Kathryn maybe you should go to bed, or just talk with me"

"I don't need to talk" I barked at him.

"This is hard Kathryn, I know. But you can't drink yourself in to tomorrow, nothing will be different"

I whipped around and threw the glass I had been drinking out of at him.

"Sebastian's fucking dead. Sebastian. Is. Dead. I'm allowed to do whatever the fuck I want okay. Sebastian is dead!"

I suddenly woke up with sweat covering my forehead, dripping onto my pillow. Daniel was beside me, an arm draped lazily over me. It was hot, I was hot I needed fresh air.

I walked over to my balcony and flipped out my cell phone, scrolling through my contacts for Sebastian.

His phone rang as I waited impatiently on the other end.

He picked up.

"Hello?" His voice was hoarse.

"Sebastian, oh thank god"

"Kathryn?"

"I thought…you…"

I heard him ruffle some sheets.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a dream about you. You died. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't real" I sounded like a 7 year old girl telling her daddy that there was a monster under her bed.

"I'm here Kathryn. I'm alive. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere"

"Good"

"Can I go back to bed?"

"No…I mean can you stay on the phone please? I just…I want to hear you"

"Sure"

For awhile we were silent, just knowing the other was on the phone was enough to soothe each other and most of all me. The sweat that had been on my forehead when I awoke was gone and I was much cooler than I was before, mostly because of the breeze that surrounded me outside.

"Kathryn?"

"Mmm?"

"Where are you?"

I giggled to myself.

"On my balcony, why?"

"Just wondering, I like to know where my…where you are"

"Well don't go all mushy on me now brother" I ran my hands through my silky long hair.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked him.

I heard him pour something into a glass and drink it before he answered. "Nothing, Isabelle is going to lunch with Annette"

"Come to lunch with me"

"I thought you hated me?"

"I do"

"Then why should I come to lunch with you? You might poison my wine"

"Stop being dramatic, I wouldn't poison you, I'd rather kill you myself"

Both of us laughed wickedly, like we had back when we were on the same side after we had destroyed somebody. It was nice to share that laugh with someone again.

"Sebastian?" I heard Isabelle's soft voice through the phone.

"I have to go…Isabelle's…"

"I know" I cut him off. "Go I don't mind. Just don't forget tomorrow"

He hung up without saying goodbye.

* * *

"You look nice. Where's the boyfriend?" Sebastian asked has he entered my hotel room.

"My _fiancé_ is at a business lunch out of town for the night"

I put in my $500 earrings and pursed my lips together. I was the definition of perfect.

"So he's not around?"

I threw Sebastian a confused look from the floor length mirror in the hotel room.

"Did I not just say that or am I going crazy?"

He came up behind me and pulled back my hair. We stared at each other through the mirror, watching each other, studying even. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

"I was just making sure"

"Why?"

I knew what he was going to do before he even did it because Sebastian had this tell tale smirk on his face and a familiar glint that only appeared when he was being playful with me.

My suspicions were correct because he turned me around and planted a soft kiss on my lips. He deepened it soon after, slipping his tongue between my lips and into my mouth.

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back.

"Sebastian…you're married" I whined.

"Like it's ever stopped you with any other guy Kathryn"

He went in for another kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Sebastian" I groaned, pushing him back. "We're going for lunch, as friends, as brother and sister. I am not going to make-out with you"

"Oh c'mon Kat, I know you want to"

"Yeah as much as I want to fuck Blaine" I rolled my eyes at him and made my way to the door.

"That wasn't nice"

"Oh Sebastian you should know by now that I am not a nice person"

"I know you're a bitch"

"Fuck you"

"I believe that's what I was getting to"

"Excuse me? Planning on taking me to lunch and then screwing my brains out?"

"Kathryn if I'm not mistaken it was you who asked me to lunch not the other way around and no I wasn't planning on screwing you today…maybe tomorrow though" He smirked.

We climbed into his 1956 jag and he drove us to a small restaurant Sebastian and I dined at when planning revenge, or plotting things against someone. Simply because the place mostly dined for older and more sophisticated people so no one we knew was usually there.

"And here we are again" He almost groaned as we walked in the doors of the restaurant.

"You make it sound like a chore"

"It almost is" He replied, swiftly placing his hand on my lower back and gently pushing me towards the guy directing tables.

"Kathryn, Sebastian, haven't seen you two here in a long time. How are we?"

"Fine thank you" I replied, smiling at the thought that he actually remembered us and laughing at the thought that the loser still worked here.

"You're favourite table is free if you'd like to sit there?"

"That'd be good" Sebastian said, as we followed the guy to a table for two at the back of the restaurant, hidden from the rest and further away for more privacy.

"I can't believe he still works here" I snickered as the guy left after giving us the menus.

"I can't believe we're here"

"Why?"

"Well after everything…Annette, rehab, your illness, Isabelle, I just imagined that we would stop talking and wouldn't keep in contact. But here we are, sitting at the same table we thought up the plan to destroy Mary Carls for running against you for Student Body President"

I laughed remembering the thought.

Mary had ran against me for Student Body, of course me being more popular then her and winning all the teachers over with my Mary Sunshine act, I won. But I wanted to pay back the bitch for even thinking about running against me. So Sebastian and I planned to ruin her and we did.

Sebastian had lured her into one of the classrooms she believe wasn't going to be used, he had locked the door and shut the blinds so they could have some privacy…for now. As per usual he got her all hot and horny like he said he would then he rang me.

Then it was my turn, I had told the teacher that we needed to move to the classroom down the hall so I could use the computers there to show the class my presentation, little did she know that that was the class room Mary and Sebastian were in.

Sebastian by now had gotten sweet little Mary to be sitting on the desk, fully naked and fingering herself for his pleasure. When my class arrived she was as Sebastian had told me, on the desk, pleasing herself.

My teacher had screamed and ordered Mary to get dressed and head to the principals office, she ran off crying and I flipped her off as she ran down the hall in tears. As I walked into the room Sebastian snuck out, squeezing my ass as he did so.

"Oh yes, Mary the slut who fingered herself for you. I wonder how she went finishing school in a girls reform school in Germany?"

"Last I heard she had married Greg McConnell"

"What? Where did you hear that? I thought Greg was gay?"

"Read it in the society newsletter that Isabelle gets and he is, just a closet gay, he's actually probably still screwing Blaine on the side"

The waiter came and got our orders, running off to fill them.

I was about to return to the conversation Sebastian and I had been having when an older man, probably between 30 and 40 approached me at the table.

"Excuse me, are you Kathryn Merteuil? The centre page model for Perfection?"

The weeks away from London had been nice, I hadn't been followed my photographers or news reporters and I hadn't had anyone, besides from now come up and recognise me.

"Yes I am"

"Miss Merteuil I am a big fan of yours, would you sign my magazine please?"

The tired looking, balding older man pulled out an old issue of Perfection. I particularly remembered the issue because I had posed in a short Versace dress that showed a lot of my cleavage and left little to the imagination.

"Sure"

Sure enough the man opened the centre page and there I was, standing opened legged with a hand on my waist and one hanging beside me in the small and clingy baby blue Versace dress.

"Who do I make it out to?"

I glanced at Sebastian who was no doubt staring at the picture of me.

"Brian Fluensa"

I signed the picture and gave the magazine back to him. He smiled politely and apologized for interrupting my lunch but was thankful for the signed picture.

"That was you?" Sebastian said as the waiter passed down our plates of food.

"Yes" I simply responded.

I tried to avoid the conversation as much as I could.

"You looked…"

"Beautiful" I finished for him.

"I was going to say amazing, but either does the job"

Whilst we were eating the conversation deadened, until Sebastian spoke up.

"Are you happy?"

"What?" I looked up at him from my still half full plate of salad.

"Are you happy? With Daniel, with your job, with your life in general?"

"I suppose"

"Would you change anything?"

I pondered on the thought. Of course there were many things I would change. The bet and the thing with Annette mostly.

"Yeah I guess, would you?"

It seemed like Sebastian took a life time before he answered my question. His adoring blue eyes glancing from me to his food and back again.

"Yes"

I decided to change the topic.

"I'm leaving"

Sebastian looked up from his plate, an intensified passion filled look in his gorgeous eyes.

"Where are you going?"

"Where else?" I replied sarcastically. "Back to London with Daniel. I have a job to return to and a fiancé who loves me"

I pushed my still-half-full plate of salad to the middle of the table, deciding I had had enough food right now. I didn't dare look at Sebastian, afraid of what I might find.

"Kathryn don't leave, not again"

"Why Sebastian? So you can fuck me on the side whilst still returning to Isabelle at night? I'm no bodies bitch Sebastian, least of all yours and you should know that"

I could tell that this was going to end in a fight.

"You know I don't think of you like that" He said softly, grasping one of my hands in his.

"Don't" I pulled my hand away. "Don't act like you care all of a sudden Sebastian. You had your chance with me remember? I played all my cards, I had everything to lose and I lost it"

It was then I looked into his sad eyes, they seemed to portray emotion that Sebastian and I never really had.

"I made a mistake with her Kathryn"

I rolled my eyes and got up, Sebastian payed the bill and followed me out of the restaurant.

"I wish I could take it back Kat, I wish I had of chosen you instead of Isabelle"

The valet parking guy pulled up Sebastian's car to the curb. He walked to his side and opened it getting in.

"Well you know what Sebastian? You didn't choose me. You chose her"

"Where are you going?" He yelled at me as I walked further along.

"Not with you. I'll call my limousine and have them pick me up"

"Kathryn, don't be stupid. I'll take you back to your hotel room"

I regrettably got into his car and sighed. Why the hell was I doing this?

"Kathryn leave him" Sebastian spoke, his voice quavered slightly.

"Yeah when hell freezes over Sebastian"

He placed his hand on mine, removing his eyes from the road as he stared at me.

"Kathryn just do it"

"WHY SEBASTIAN!? So I can be miserable and lonely whilst you get me and Isabelle? Dream on loser"

I looked to the road ahead just in time to see two cars coming our way. I didn't have time to scream his name, or help or any other word for that matter, before I knew it my eyes had clouded over.

I seemed to lost consciousness for a few seconds, but I was fully awake after a minute or so. There was a sharp pain searing through my arm and a could feel a small trickle of warm blood make it's way down the side of my head. My body, from waist down was numb, I couldn't feel or move anything below my waist.

"Sebastian?" I groaned softly as I tried to squirm.

Unfortunately for me I was trapped between the seat and whatever the hell was on top of Sebastian's car, even though it had no roof, it seemed that another car had been planted on top of Sebastian's.

"Sebastian?" I groaned, angrier now then I had been before.

I could hear faint screams and sirens, the cries of others trapped inside their cars, but there was no sound from Sebastian. I could faintly make out his figure beside me, but I could not move to touch him.

"Sebastian!?" I groaned more loudly and angrier.

He still met me with no reply.

Although I was in immense pain I did manage to move a fraction, but it hurt like hell. It felt like I had ripped my arm completely open and stabbed myself with something in the back as I shifted my body closer to Sebastian.

I reached my hand out and touched the only part of him I could reach, his face.

"Answer me you fucking prick" I demanded, through gritted teeth due to the pain.

"Is anyone in there?" A person from out side called.

I found myself with no voice as I tried to call out. I suddenly realised this seemed oddly familiar. And then it hit me, my dream of Sebastian dying in a car crash had come true, except I was with him and I had no idea if he was dead or not.

"Hello?" The man called out again.

"Help" I said, loud enough for the person to hear.

I heard him scurry off for more help as I gently caressed Sebastian pale and sweaty face.

"Don't die you arrogant bastard" I cried.

"Ma'am is there anyone else with you?" The man returned to ask me.

"Yes"

"Are they alive?"

"I'm…I…I don't know"

"Okay ma'am, just talk to me. We need you to stay calm, we are not sure how long this is going to take"

I tried to stay calm, but fear of Sebastian dying had got the best of me.

"He's dying, get me the fuck out of here, he's dying"

"Ma'am what's your name?"

"Kathryn, but I don't see how that's relevant my step-brother is fucking dying and all you can do is stand out there and ask my fucking name!" I yelled.

"Kathryn, stay calm. What's your brother's name?"

Sebastian stirred slightly, groaning. "Kat" His voice seemed so pained and faint.

"His name is Sebastian. Sebastian" I cried as I tried to be closer to him.

"Kathryn, Sebastian, I'm William. Both of you have to hold on, we're going to get you out of here and take you to the hospital"

* * *

**A/N: **The lack of reviews to this story is very unmotivating. Please review, it makes we want to write for you guys. 


	24. Vingtquatre

All those times I had hated Sebastian and told him to die, or wished him dead, I would take back right now if only to see him survive right now.

His blue eyes fluttered open, seeming more dull grey at the moment. They were lifeless, no playboy glint, or matching glare, but a dull grey that had no emotion what so ever.

He tried to speak, his words could not be heard. He was dying.

"Sebastian shut up. Don't die. Don't leave me here on my own. I'll fucking marry you if you live Sebastian. I'll give you everything you wanted, you can have me" I cried senselessly.

I shut my eyes for a few seconds but was utterly shocked when I opened them. Sebastian had managed to move the tiniest bit, his face was grazed, with blood seeping from the wound, but it was the piece of glass jabbed through his leg that I was shocked at.

"Oh Christ" I tried to scream.

"Kathryn is everything okay? What's going on?" William asked, still trying to talk to me. "Is Sebastian okay? What's the report on his injuries?"

"Oh god. He's…oh fuck…fuck…there's a piece of glass through his leg and he's bleeding"

Sebastian reached our wordlessly and wrapped his arm around me, wincing at the pain that he felt after moving. Suddenly the world seemed to disappear.

"I'm not going to die Kathryn" He groaned, slurring slightly.

"Good" I sniffled, trying to regain my composure, although the fear of dying or never being able to walk again did escalate through out my body at the present moment.

"I love you, Katie" He coughed out the words, blood spluttering from his mouth.

"He's coughing blood…what the hell do I do?" I yelled to William.

He didn't reply.

"Sebastian" I slapped his face, trying to make him look at me. His eyes glazed over, softly shutting.

"Sebastian don't you fucking die. I love you Sebastian"

The workers outside did what they were doing, rocking the car, what ever had been jabbing me in the back was now implanted into me, I screamed out in pain, groaning and crying and screeching more profanities in all the languages I knew.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, feeling something seep from it. As I looked to the back of my hand I found crimson liquid.

I felt light headed, dizzy and the need to sleep. But before I could shut my eyes they had lifted the car off Sebastian's jag and I could see the bright lights of the street and the 20 or so people surrounding the car.

Someone tried to rescue me but I shook my head. "Sebastian…first" I swallowed the blood that was residing in my throat. "He's not going…he's…dying" I managed to groan as the ambulance officers worked on Sebastian to free him.

As soon as I saw Sebastian's limp body being carried away the ambulance officers jumped into the car to try and remove me, but found it much hard seeing as something was impaling me in the back.

I stayed awake the whole half an hour it took them to free me, wincing through the pain and eventually screaming when they had lifted me from what ever had been impaling me.

I stared at the roof of the ambulance as I was rushed to hospital, bleeding, barely breathing. But the only thing that was on my mind was Sebastian.

By now I was used to ambulances and hospitals and death. I'd had my fair share of close encounters with death itself.

I was rushed into surgery, hours later awoken in pain and to find Daniel by my side reading a book.

"Sebastian" I gasped.

"Sweet heart" He bored into me with his brown eyes, trying his best to portray his sympathy for Sebastian, although both him and I knew he didn't like my evil step-brother.

"No" I said. "He can't"

"He's not" Daniel said, grabbing my hand. "He's alive, barely, but alive"

I felt the emotion of relief pass through me as I heard of the news. But guilt once more. I could not fill my cries to Sebastian, I had told him I loved him I would leave Daniel for him, but I couldn't, I wouldn't. Not with my reputation at stake.

"Daniel I want to go home" I told him sternly. "Fly me home. I can get better there"

He agreed with me, it was best to go. He left my room to go back to the hotel to pack my things for me, leaving me time to write a letter to Sebastian.

But what does one say in a situation like this? Oddly enough I did not know and usually words never escaped me. Some how my relationship with Sebastian was different, I could hate and love Sebastian at one time, which seemed strange to most people, but most people didn't understand Sebastian and I. I imagined what I would say in person to him, but again I was at an utter lost for words. I did not know what I could possibly say, it was true I loved Sebastian, I always had and I always will, he'll always be there. But no relationship could happen between me and him, I mean for Christ sakes I am Kathryn Merteuil and I prided on my well kept reputation and just what would my mother say if she found out that I left Daniel for my step-brother. I'm quite sure the bitch would have me locked up.

I put pen to paper, scribbling down words, but no sentences. Eventually it came to me.

_Sebastian._

_I'm not good at letters and I think both you and I know that. Neither am I one for mushy sentiments that you see in movies about love and all that bull shit that we both once said we never believed in._

_At the same time, I'm killing myself for doing this now, doing this to you now. I hate you. I love you. There's many things I want to say to you but I can't, not now, maybe not ever. You're probably never going to understand why I left after the crash, but did you ever really understand me at all?_

_As I told you at the restaurant, I'm no bodies bitch Sebastian. I'm not gong to leave Daniel simply so I can sit around and watch miserably as you, the prick I once thought loved me, play house with Isabelle. So once again I'm leaving. Only this time I'll tell you where I'm going. I'm going back to London, to marry Daniel and live as people say 'happily ever after'_

_Goodbye Sebastian._

* * *

I stared out the window of Daniel's private jet mindlessly, there was only one particular thing on my mind right then and it was Sebastian. Although some perceived me as being a bitch without a heart, I did have one and right now it was aching.

My eyes set on a sleeping Daniel, he looked nothing like my Sebastian. I guess that was my point when I had first started to date him. I had needed to get away and forget about Sebastian, forget about how he chose her over me, how he betrayed me all those years back. The memories still hurt.

Don't get me wrong, I am Kathryn Merteuil and I don't like to feel emotion, it makes one weak to people. It makes people vulnerable thus making it easier for someone to attack them and I was not one to be attacked, there fore I was rid mostly of emotion when it came to anyone but Sebastian.

As much as I hated to admit it he was my one weakness, the curly blonde haired-blue eyed boy I'd grown up with almost as a brother, but blossomed in to something else. Sebastian was far from just someone I loved out of familial love, he was more.

"Kathryn are you okay?"

Daniel's voice, a little hoarse from being asleep but still adoring, spoke to me. I looked at him, assessed him even, true he was gorgeous and there was something about Daniel that I liked a lot, he didn't bore me like most of my other boyfriends had, he had this un explainable charm about him. The way he spoke was of utter elegance and nothing less, showing the back ground that he came from, which did suit me perfectly.

"Fine" I replied.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine, really"

I tried to reassure him with a small smile.

In my current state I really could not move all too much, I was being taken home to London too soon, so I did not know the state I was in. I knew it was somewhere along the lines of me never being able to walk again due to the thing that had impaled me in my back.

* * *

"Kathryn are you fine? Is everything okay? Are you in pain baby?" Daniel asked as he fussed over me annoyingly.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table beside me and I picked it up, stupidly thinking it would be an agent or something.

"Kathryn" Blaine spoke evenly, he never called me Kathryn, never, unless he was angry or needed to tell me something serious.

"He's dead isn't he" Emotion in my voice void.

"He's not doing well Kathryn, he hasn't awoken and the doctors have said to say goodbye because the chance of him making it to the end of the week are like getting me to shop at some hick store"

I admired Blaine's small joke after revealing tragic news. "I…I…" I wanted to say I'd be right there but I didn't want to say goodbye. "I don't care" I tried to hide the fear in my voice.

"Lie as you might to everyone around you Kathryn but I know you care for him more than you probably should, you owe him at least to say goodbye"

"I don't owe the bastard anything!" I said sharply, sitting up and cursing myself as pain shot down my back.

I heard Blaine sigh.

"Kathryn stop being a fucking hard headed, icy princess bitch okay. Sebastian Valmont, the man you once loved, the curly haired, blue eyed, blonde drop dead gorgeous step-brother you used to scheme and plot with is in a coma about dead and all you can do is think about how he fucked you over? Well guess what sweetheart, that's fucking life"

Blaine never before had spoken to me like that and honestly I was surprised that the faggot had the balls to say things to me like that. Of course he had joked with me, insulting me in light humour, but he'd never gone into a fit of rage simply yelling things at me.

"I can't Blaine"

"Fucking hell Kathryn. If you don't get your bony, bulimic prissy ass to New York by tomorrow night I am going to personally see to it that you are murdered for being the cruel heartless bitch that you are! Valmont.Is.Lying.In. He exasperated the last word as if I was 2. "He needs you to say goodbye, just fucking do it you ice bitch, just fucking…" I heard him fight back the tears, his best friend was dying and it was true all I could do was be hard headed and think about myself. "Get the fuck here now" He hung up.

I wiped my eyes, not letting the tears that had built up escape my glassy eyes.

"Daniel!" I called out.

My fiancé entered the room smiling at me.

"We're going back to New York"

"Kat babe I can't I have work"

"Then you stay here, but I have to go back. I need to"

He sat on my bed next to me and flung an arm around my shoulder, kissing my neck.

"Baby you don't need to. Valmont deserves to die after what he put you through"

My anger built up inside me. What the hell did Daniel know about Valmont? He didn't deserve to die, he can't die. I won't let him.

"Fuck you Daniel. I'm going back whether you like it or not. Sebastian, my step-brother is lying in a fucking coma practically dead I need to say goodbye"

He stormed out of the room, obviously pissed off that I was going to go back to New York with or without him. So I picked up my phone and dialled Blaine's number.

"Hello?" The pain in his voice obvious.

"Tuttle it's me. I'm coming back, I just have to find a way to the airport, Daniel's not coming"

"I already had a private jet ready and a limousine is coming to pick you up princess"

"You knew I'd come?"

"Kat it's fucking Sebastian, of course I knew you'd come"

"Just keep him alive until I come…please"

"I'll try my best princess, hurry up"

* * *

"Hurry up, go faster!" I ordered the nurse who was wheeling me to Sebastian's room.

"Sorry Miss"

"Just do it!"

She started to move marginally faster as we turned around the corner. I saw Blaine outside Sebastian's room, my heart sank.

"Blaine is he…alive?"

"Yeah, go in"

"Leave" I ordered the nurse.

Blaine got behind my wheel chair and wheeled me in, the room was dark with machines all around Sebastian. I could hear a lot of beeping, but steady beeping.

His face was scratched, he had a few stitches above his right eye and his arm was in a cast. But apart from that Sebastian looked just as he had before the crash, annoyingly handsome, he still had a cocky look about him.

Blaine smiled at me and left me to say goodbye to Sebastian, my heart raced as I gently touched his pale face.

"Oh god Sebastian, how did it ever come to this?" I laughed, I was talking to myself. "Now look at me, you've reduced me to fucking talking to myself. Who would have thought?"

My fingers brushed the stitches and I swear I felt him flinch. "Does it hurt?" That was stupid of course it hurt. "I mean obviously it hurt, but are you in any pain? I suppose at least if you…die…you won't be in any pain right? Un like me"

I looked at his sleeping eyes. "I'm in a wheel chair Sebastian, the doctors said I may never be able to walk again"

"Well that'd be a shame to see those pretty legs go to waste" Sebastian's, hoarse and dry voice said.

"Sebastian, I'll get a nurse, hold on"

He reached out and grabbed my hand before I had a chance to…wheel away?

"Sebastian you've just awoken, I need to get a doctor in here"

"Kathryn wait, let me explain"

I suddenly got the worst feeling I could have possibly had.

"I wasn't in a coma"

"You lying bastard!" I screamed and hit his chest.

"Ah fuck Kat, I have broken ribs, would you mind going easy just for today?" He winced.

"You lied!" Hit. "You" Hit. "Fucking" Hit. "Bastard!" Hit, hit, hit. "You made me think you were" Hit. "Dying!" Hit.

He sat up (with a pained groan) and grabbed my arms to stop me. "Stop okay!? I have a good reason"

"Let the fuck go of me"

"Kathryn listen to me"

"I'm not listening to you Sebastian! What kind of sick game were you playing at!? Trying to get the ice princess to confess her love and cry for you!?"

"No…Kat—"

"Well fucking congrats Valmont because I did cry for you, for losing the one person I thought I could tell anything too"

"Kathryn wait, listen to me, I need to tell you something"

"WHAT SEBASTIAN!"

He brought my face to his and kissed my lips softly, if only to shut me up, but I wasn't exactly complaining I mean, who would complain with those red full lips of his on mine? It wasn't a mind melting kiss, but it was nice, something that I knew he only gave to me.

"Isabelle and Daniel had this plan…" He started, kissing my chin. "To destroy all we had…" He moved lower to my neck, cupping my face. "To eliminate all means of trust between us"

"What?"

"Daniel and Isabelle are married, they have been for more than 5 years"

"How…? Why would they do something like that? How do you know anyway? How do I know you're not lying?"

"She confessed it to me when I was 'asleep' she told me everything, how she never meant for me to get hurt"

"Why would they want to destroy our relationship? I mean what's in it for them?"

"Daniel gets all rights and ownership of Perfection and Isabelle doesn't get ruined"

"I don't get it, who held that much power over them? I mean it just doesn't make sense"

"The cruellest bitch on Earth"

"Sebastian, that's stupid. Why would I go and destroy our relationship after I confessed my love to you?" I smirked.

"Not you, you conceited bitch, your mother"

My mouth literally dropped a few inches, I was taken aback, why would my mother do something like that…unless she knew what me and Sebastian had. I mean it was impossible; we never had much to threaten anyone by. Maybe my mother didn't want it getting out so she had to stop it.

"That fucking whore"

"She knows about us Kat, about everything. Our games, our plans, our nights of teasing and tormenting one another. She knows our past, so she tried to destroy it and we couldn't see it because we were to idiotic"

"Did she plan this?" I asked. "Did she plan to kill us?"

"Yeah, Isabelle said that Tiffany had seen us talking more and didn't want us to rebuild our fucked up past. So when she heard about us going to lunch she had someone crash into us. Although I don't think she intended on trying to kill us…or maybe she did"

"Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me you were dying?"

"I knew you wouldn't come unless I was dying. Unless there was the slightest chance that you could lose me completely"

I kissed him like never before. You'll know what I mean when you love someone so much and then almost lose them without getting a chance to say goodbye or give them that one last mind blowing kiss, you'll then know what I mean.

"I'm sorry about all this Sebastian. I should have seen it coming"

"What about me Kat? I'm barely hurt; you on the other hand could be disabled"

"Don't remind me"

"I'm going to kill Tiffany if you don't recover, I'm going to inflict the worst pain she's ever experienced"

"Okay, okay are you two love birds done making out?" Blaine called out from the door.

"Yeah come in Tuttle" Sebastian said.

"So first things first how do we plan on getting back at Tiffany?" Blaine asked, taking a seat.

"Wait, if Isabelle's married to Daniel, then how'd she marry you"

"She didn't. It was a fake priest; Blaine kindly looked into that for me"

"Yes, seems the bitch has a little to learn about hiding her tracks"

"Blaine could you give us a minute?" I asked him, smiling at him with both sincerity and daggers.

He nodded and left the room, angry that I was dismissing him. He wanted revenge on my mother, after all she did tell his parents he was gay some time ago and that's the reason he basically had no contact with his parents.

"Come here" I told him.

He brought his whole body forward and I planted a lust filled kiss on his full lips. My hand meanwhile snaked into his boxers, he gasped as I grabbed a hold of his quickly growing dick. He bit my lip softly when I started to hold it tighter.

"Kaaaathryyyyn" He moaned pathetically.

"Miss me?" I said as I pulled my lips away from his.

I stroked fiercely on his erection, Sebastian gasped, groaned and moaned in my ear. His eyes were shut tight and his hands were gripping the bed sheets tight, his knuckles were turning white.

"Yeah…oh…yes"

"God I love it when you're worked up Valmont, you…make me so…horny. Like I just want to get up and fuck your brains out right now in front of the whole fucking world" My words were like adding fuel to the burning fire within him.

"S…st…stop Kat…before…oh god…before I…I…cum" He stuttered.

I licked his ear and stroked harder and faster, if I had of been able to get up I probably would have been riding him by now. Unfortunately for the both of us this was the best I could do right now.

"Good. I just wish it would be inside me instead of all over my hands" I groaned as he grabbed one of my breasts.

"Fuck you…fuck…Kathryn" He cried out as he came all over my hand and inside his boxers.

"Thanks for that _brother_ I do enjoy the feel of your cum" I said sarcastically, wiping his cum into a tissue beside his bed.

"No thank you Kathryn" He said breathlessly. "I love you" He whispered, almost out of breath.

"I love you too" I said it with ease not even having to think about the words. "Now to my mother, what to do with her?"

"Kathryn I think there's the matter of your health to deal with first. I want you to be better"

"Why Sebastian? Won't you love me if I can't walk?" I pouted innocently.

"I don't care if you don't ever walk around, it's just I do enjoy you riding me and if you're paralysed I very much doubt you'll be able to ride me like I like it baby" He pinched my cheeks.

"You can be a real asshole sometimes"

"I know"

"Mmm, Sebastian stop. We have to get some work…oh…done" I moaned as he played with me.

His hands were tangled in my hair, his face attached to my neck and his fingers were under my panties. We were in his old room back at the Valmont mansion plotting against my mother, Isabelle and Daniel. Isabelle was away visiting a 'friend' and Daniel was still back in London, so we were pretty safe to be doing this.

"Sebastian…oh…Sebastian if you don't….god….don't stop right now I'll…fuck…I'll never…ever…fuck you again"

"You wouldn't be able to resist me baby" He replied cockily.

Suddenly I heard a shrill laughter from the hallway, I knew it as my mother's. Sebastian's hands immediately retracted from me and he stood a few metres back as I fixed myself up.

"Sebastian? Kathryn? Are you in there?" My mother asked.

"Yes mother!" I called.

She entered with a malicious smile on her face like she was about to unveil something evil. Which in reality really wouldn't surprise me.

"Now, now, what are you two doing in here, let alone in here together?"

"We were just…catching up" Sebastian smirked.

I moved my wheel chair closer to my mother and looked up at her. From my angle you could see clearly how much plastic surgery she'd had over the years.

"Well I think you should go home Sebastian and let Kathryn get some rest. She's going to need her strength for tomorrows rehab session"

"Oh that's right. I'm picking you up at 10 right _sis_?"

"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow _brother_"

He left me with my mother. Alone.

"Kathryn what have I told you about your step-brother and your relationship! It's to be totally and completely appropriate!"

"It is mother, I assure you"

"Screwing behind your fiancé's back with your step-brother is not appropriate Kathryn"

"Mother! How dare you accuse me of doing that!" I screeched fakely at her.

"I'm not accusing you of anything you dirty slut. I know what you and Sebastian get up to and let me tell you that it's going to stop right now"

"How dare you call me a dirty slut!" I screamed. "Compared to you mother I'm a saint, you cheating, gold digging whore!"

She backhanded me hard.

"Shut up child" Then she left.

I touched my cheek, it was tender from the hit and most likely red. My mother's going to have hell to pay, for not only fucking up my relationship with the only person I ever trusted and loved but for my whole life of torture and pain.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys.**


	25. Vingtcinq

The mark on my cheek was barely noticeable now, it'd been a week and a half since she'd hit me. I hadn't spoken to her or seen her since that day. Sebastian didn't notice the mark at all, I'd covered it with that much make up. We hadn't discussed what we were going to do with my mother, Daniel and Isabelle yet, he was more focused on getting me walking again then he was with destroying those three.

I've been thinking of the ways I want to destroy them. Killing them wouldn't make them suffer, although it was the obvious choice for getting rid of them all together, I really wanted to watch them suffer for the rest of their lonely, fucked up lives.

"Kathryn? Are you here?" Sebastian yelled through the townhouse.

Sometimes he could be idiotic. Since the accident I hadn't gone out anywhere, I really didn't want to be seen like this, in this vulnerable and pathetic state. It certainly wasn't like me to depend on others so much and I didn't want it to be known that I was depending on everyone around me more than I could myself.

"Well obviously Sebastian" I muttered to myself from inside the icy walls of my bedroom.

He knocked three times as he usually did before he entered without being told to like he always had. I looked at him from over on my bed, I'd only just awoken half an hour ago, but I couldn't find the strength to get up and into my wheel chair. Plus I would need Sebastian's help getting into the bath.

"There you are, sorry I'm late. Isabelle came home last night from her vacation and I was up pretty late. I must have slept in"

"I don't care. Just help me" I ordered.

I couldn't have cared less about why he was late. I most certainly didn't want to hear about what he did last night, especially with that whore Isabelle.

"As you wish Princess"

Sebastian's strong arms went around me and he carried me to the bathroom. My doctor said I should try to walk with the walking frame, even if it's just a few steps, but I don't want to strain myself and get all sweaty trying to do so, I save that for my rehab sessions everyday.

He sat me down on the lounge in my large bathroom and started running the water for my bath. I lifted my nightgown over my head and threw it to the floor. I saw Sebastian look at it from the corner of his eye and smirk. He'd been bathing me for a whole week and I found it amusing how he smirked every time I took off my clothes, it was like he had never gotten used to seeing me naked.

"Help?" I asked him, gesturing to my panties smiling.

He stepped away from my antique bath. "With pleasure"

Sebastian's hands moved to my waist, I flinched from the coldness of his hands. He lifted me up swiftly and with one hand gently took away the silky black panties and threw them to the floor along side my nightgown. He set me down again and returned to the bath.

The bath was full now, Sebastian turned off the taps and wiped his hands on the nearby towel. He picked me up and gently put me in the water. It was just the right temperature for me, I always found it odd how he knew how I liked my baths.

He passed me the sponge and I wet it in the water then started gently scrubbing my skin. Sebastian watched intently for a few seconds.

"I'll let you bathe in peace" He smiled.

"You can stay. It's not like you haven't seen me naked before Valmont" I laughed.

Sebastian sat down on the lounge and crossed his legs. He pulled out his leather journal and started scribbling in it.

"Writing down how I look right now?" I asked him, wearing a flirtatious smile.

He didn't answer, just looked up at me and gave me that smile. The non opened mouthed smile where his lips are pursed together and it makes you wonder what he tastes like.

I bit my lip and started moving the sponge over my right breast. He wasn't looking until I gave a soft moan. I closed my eyes and licked my lips, playing with my right breast still.

I opened my eyes, Sebastian was still watching me with great pleasure. My right hand dropped the sponge in the water and slowly moved down my skin in between my thighs, whilst my left hand gave my left breast some attention. Sebastian shifted in his seat.

"Ohh" I cried out as I started to play with myself.

Sebastian's legs uncrossed, the bulge in his pants was very clear now. I looked up at him and mouthed Sebastian.

"Kathryn…stop that now" He whispered.

"But…mmm…it's so good" I said.

My fingers entered me, first two then three. He watched me, groaning at the tightness of his pants.

"We're going to be…late if you…don't hurry up" He gulped.

"I'm just…" I laughed. "Playing"

Sebastian smirked, one he used to do when we would play games. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his erection.

"Mmm" I moaned.

One of Sebastian's hands went around his hard cock, stroking it in pace with my fingers. It was erotic and completely arousing watching Sebastian play with himself right in front of me. His eyes were closed (Probably imagining me on top of him) and his lips were pursed together tightly.

"Oh…fuck" I gasped.

"Mmm" Sebastian joined.

His eyes opened and his lips parted softly. I wanted to kiss him and taste him, but this was a different experience for me and him. We'd never played with ourselves in front of each other like this. Actually come to think of it we both rarely played with our selves at all, we always had people to fuck.

"Kathryn" He moaned, staring at me straight.

I looked into his lust filled eyes. They captured me completely.

"Sebastian" I whispered, fastening the pace of my fingers as he fastened his stroking.

"Come for me baby" He gasped.

I groped myself fiercely. I was so close, the warmth inside me was filling up. My mind was full of thoughts of Sebastian fucking me, all the times we had and all the times I'd wanted him. "I'm close…oh Sebastian"

"Baby…"

With a few more quick movements my back arched (As much as possible in my state) as I gripped on to the sides of the antique bath. I screamed out in pleasure, moaning Sebastian's name a few times.

Not long after I had reached my ecstasy Sebastian cried out, moaning my name a few times and getting cum on my lounge. I watched him open his blue eyes, they were clouded over, but he looked relaxed.

I lay there for a few minutes, relaxing before asking him to help me out. He didn't set me on the lounge because of the cum, so he took me to my bed and layed me down there while he went and got me some underwear and a dress to wear.

"Well that was different" I said, after he'd come back.

His pants were still undone, but he didn't seem to care.

"I hope you're going to clean that off my lounge too" I said angrily.

Sebastian smirked. "Actually I was hoping you'd lick it off"

He helped me sit up as I pulled the dress over my head and down the rest of my body.

I pulled out his soft cock and licked the tip, tasting the small amount of cum that was left there. "Mmm, tastes good" I said as I let it go and licked my lips.

Sebastian shoved his cock in his pants and did them up before I had a chance to tease him anymore. I looked at the time. We were going to be late for my rehab session, but it was so totally worth it.

---

"That's it, keep trying, you're almost there Kathryn" The doctor coached me along the bars as I tried to walk.

It was hard work trying to walk, but I was focused. I wanted to walk again, to walk with confidence and return to myself, ruling New York and I couldn't do that in a wheel chair.

"A few more steps, come on"

I made it to the end just in time before my legs started to shake and gave way. The doctor caught me and set me down on the cushioned mat on the floor. Sebastian came over and wiped my face with a towel. My hands felt gross and sweaty from trying to walk, I wiped them on Sebastian's shirt cheekily, but he didn't seem to mind.

"That was good. We've made a lot of progress over the past week or so Kathryn" The doctor beamed.

"Will she be able to walk properly again?" Sebastian asked, sitting beside me.

"We're not sure yet. You haven't broken your spine but it's quite swollen. It may or may not go down, we can never tell"

Sebastian stood up angrily. He towered above the short doctor.

"No, she will walk! You will fix her, I don't care what it costs, she will walk!" He yelled.

Several other patients and doctors turned around to watch Sebastian and the doctor.

"Sebastian" I said, grabbing his leg helplessly.

He picked me up and set me in my wheelchair. As he wheeled me off he glared at the astonished doctor. Why did Sebastian want me to walk so bad?

"Sebastian" I started as we got close to his car. "Why do you want me to walk so bad? Does it really matter?"

"Yes" He snapped as he lifted me into his car.

"Why?" I asked, starting to get angry.

"It just does Kathryn!"

The drive back to the townhouse, we didn't speak. I couldn't understand why he wanted me to walk so bad. As we got inside, I found Daniel waiting in the living room for me with a smiling Isabelle by his side.

"Daniel" I breathed. I didn't want to sound happy, because I really wasn't happy with him.

"Kathryn baby, why haven't you come home?"

"I…I"

"She's been getting better" Sebastian interjected.

"Well I have some good news!" Isabelle cried out, hardly able to keep from speaking.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked, I could the patience on his face thinning with her.

"Well…uh, Sebastian…I'm…we're going to be parents!" She exclaimed happily.

I felt my self vomit in my own mouth.

"What?" He asked, obviously shocked.

"Aren't you happy? We're having a baby Sebastian"

"I'm just shocked that's all"

I looked at him. He wouldn't hurt her now, not now that there was a baby on the way. His baby. The plan to destroy them all was vanishing I could see it. He hugged her tightly. Daniel watched them, his jaw tightened and his fists clenched.

"Excuse me" I smiled politely and wheeled myself into my bedroom.

Daniel followed me.

"Hey, why don't we go back to London. You can finish your rehab there" He suggested, stroking my hair.

I seriously contemplated it, if only to get back at Sebastian for being happy about the baby. But I remembered why we were in this position. It was because of him. It was because of my mother, him and Isabelle.

"No. I have a good doctor here and Sebastian takes me to rehab everyday. I just think it's best if I stay here with family"

"We're family Kathryn, or we will be when we get married and have kids baby"

Kids? Was he fucking delirious? I remember one of the first things I told him was that I hate kids. I was never going to ruin my body for a screaming, crying, vomiting chubby thing that will keep me awake all night.

"I hate kids Daniel"

"We'll adopt" He smiled.

"No"

"We just won't have kids then"

"No. Daniel that's not it" I started, even though it was a little part of the problem the real problem was him. "I just don't want to be with you anymore. I'm sorry but I don't love you"

"What!?" He yelled.

"I…I'm not ready. I thought I was, I thought I loved you"

"Kathryn how could you!? I love you. Please baby don't do this"

"I'm sorry Daniel, I really am" Or not, you lying bastard.

He started to sob, but I could tell it was fake. How could I have been so stupid as to believe him? He was one of us, one of me and Sebastian. A professional manipulator.

"Kathryn please don't do this"

"Daniel, just go"

He left quickly.

---

I got up unsteadily from my bed, clutching onto my bedside table. It was 2.06am. I couldn't sleep, not since hearing the news of Sebastian and Isabelle's baby.

"Just to the other side Kathryn" I told myself.

I could do it. I could make myself walk if I tried. I'm powerful and I can do anything I put my fucked up mind to.

The room seemed to grow as I took a first wobbly step (it looked something like a baby's first step would) in the direction of the other side of the room. It now seemed like I had to walk to the other side of the world, not my room.

Yet I still kept going. I took a few more wobbly steps, balancing myself on whatever I could grab before I fell.

"Fuck, just walk Kathryn" I yelled to myself, angry that this was taking so long.

I made it to the middle of the room, but from here there was nothing to grab for support. I tried to reach for my walking frame but it was completely out of reach. I looked for something else to help me stand, but there was nothing. Typical.

I took the first step without any support. It was wobbly and felt awkward but I did it. I took another and another.

"Oh god, I'm doing it"

I spoke to soon. My legs turned to jelly and I collapsed to the floor with a thump.

"Fuck this!" I screamed, grabbing a shoe close by and hurling it at the wall.

"Fuck fuck fuck! Stupid! This is fucking ridiculous!" I yelled over and over again.

I started to cry, you know that cry where in you just can't control it? It just comes out in big burst and you want to stop, you don't even know why you're crying, but you are. That's what I was doing now.

"I hate this! I hate you!" I screamed, pretending Sebastian was in front of me.

"Everything would have been okay! We would have kept playing if you hadn't of fallen for her! If you hadn't of chosen her over me!" I cried miserably.

My bedroom door swung open, I honestly expected it to be my mother but it wasn't, it was Sebastian.

"What the fuck are you doing here!? Get the fuck out!" I screamed.

"Kathryn, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, fucking fantastic. Just fuck off. Go back to her"

As much as I tried to protest he lifted me up in his arms as I beat his chest with my tiny fists. He didn't flinch, he didn't call me names he just took it. He dropped me on my bed carefully and wiped away the remains of my tears.

"Go" I whispered, sniffing so un lady like that I was disgusted in myself.

"What's wrong?"

"What the hell are you doing here anyway!?" I yelled.

He silenced me with his finger. I suppose he didn't want to wake my mother up, she'd hate that he was here. Since he'd left she was deliriously happy about it.

"Stop yelling, you'll wake you mother"

"Don't tell me what to do. You have no right to do that Sebastian"

"What were you doing trying to walk without any help Kathryn? You could have seriously hurt yourself"

"Shut up. I don't need you anymore. Go back to her, go back to your pregnant bitch and leave me alone. You've ruined everything, you're not going to help me now"

"Kathryn, that's what I came here to talk to you about"

"You want me to keep her out of it? Fat chance _brother_"

"No, no that's not it" He said as he stroked my hair.

"Then what the fuck is it then?"

"It's not mine Kat. It can't be"

"What? Why? How?"

He picked me up again and pulled back the covers of my bed and put me down. He pulled the covers over me and kissed my forehead, Sebastian layed down beside me on top of the covers, facing me.

"We haven't had sex in awhile. Even when we did I used a condom and I know it didn't break. She's either lying or it's not mine"

"Didn't you…do it the other night? When she came back?"

"No. We argued most of the time about stupid things. I was in a shitty mood, I yelled at her and she went straight to bed. I was up late thinking of you, not with her"

"Pussy"

"Aren't you happy that it's not mine?" He asked me, pushing back strands of my hair.

I look into his blue yes. They're so pure, I've never noticed before.

Yes. "I didn't care" Lie.

He laughed. "You cared, I saw it Kathryn. I saw the look on your face. I know you remember?"

"Fine. I cared. I cared because it is a stupid idea of you having a kid with anyone, especially that whore"

"Why? Because I hate kids? They could be nice, I mean with the right person of course. Only one though, I couldn't handle two, or even three, plus I never wanted a brother or sister when I was growing up"

"Asshole" I joked.

"You're different Kathryn. You're a sister, but more you know? I love you in two ways. The first is brotherly love. I love you like if you're my sister, I want to protect you like a brother would a sister. The second is real love-"

"Shut up. Don't say it. I don't want to know"

"No I need to tell you Kathryn. The second is real love. The love that makes you weak and vulnerable, the kind where your hearts melts when you're with them and you can't help but smile when you think about them" He moved closer to me. I can hear his heart beat rapidly. "The kind everyone hopes they'll find, but you don't unless you're lucky. The kind of love I'm talking about is the one when you **know** you want to spend every waking moment with that person, even if that means witnessing their bad moods and there horrible morning breath" He pokes fun at me lightly, but I'm too awed by his speech. "Yes, I'm in love. The funny thing is Kathryn, I don't want to stop. You can call me pussy whipped and all the names you can think of to insult me by, but I love you and only you. You're the person who does all those things to me"

I was speechless for about the second time in my whole life. His mouth was parted slightly after his speech, I wanted to reach in and kiss him, to let him know how I feel, god knows I can't say it.

"Sebastian…"

"I know Kathryn. You don't have to say it. I know you do, I know you feel the same as me. It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you vulnerable. It makes you have a heart"

"You're a terribly sappy bastard you know that"

I kiss his nose instead of his mouth. It's more…I suppose cute is the appropriate word. Cute isn't me, but I wanted to do it, just this once. Just to let him know I could be different. He smiles at me and pulls me close. My head rests on his chest. I hope he stays tonight, I don't think I could stand him leaving right now.

---

Blaine Tuttle, how ever rich you may think he is, well he just got 10 times richer. How you may ask?

His parents just rolled over and died a week ago. Now most people would be miserable having heard the death of their parents, the two people who helped you grow, who made you in fact. Not Blaine, I don't think I would care if my mother died either.

"Fucking jackpot" He said, reading a few documents.

"How much?" Sebastian asks as I sit on the arm of the chair by his side.

"2 billion, plus what ever houses they own around the world"

"Fuck" I say, taking a hit from my crucifix. Sebastian looks at me. He wants me to stop. But I don't.

"I know" He says, dropping the documents on the table nearby. "So what may I help you two with today?" He asks, taking a seat by his computer.

"Well…" Sebastian starts.

"Isabelle and Daniel. We're fucking them up so badly they'll regret fucking with us. My mother too. All in one hit hopefully"

"Wait. What? What the hell have I missed out on?" He says, spinning around to face us.

I get up from my seat and walk over to Blaine on my crutches (Yes, I've moved on to crutches).

"My mother manipulated us, Sebastian and I that is. She planned for us to hate each other. She had Isabelle meet Sebastian and make him fall for her, knowing very well that I'd want him back. She knew I'd move away and when she knew where I move she had Daniel Cosgrove take me up and make me fall for him. Fortunately I'm not quite as easily persuaded as my step-brother is and I didn't get married to him. But as we found out, it's Isabelle and Daniel that are in fact married and not Isabelle and Sebastian. Now we want to pay them back for the years of Sebastian and I hating each other. Isn't that right Valmont?"

I look back at Sebastian, he nods his head. Blaine looks to me in astonishment.

"You're mother did all that? But why?"

"She knew Kathryn and I were getting close and she didn't want it ruining her reputation" Sebastian told Blaine as he moved over to where I was standing.

"So what have I got to do with this?" Blaine asks, confused in what his job is.

"We want you to find everything-" Sebastian cuts me off.

"Absolutely everything you can on all three of them. We're going to fuck them over something horrible. They'll wish they're dead"

"Wow. Why go to all the trouble? Why not just divorce you're bitch Valmont and leave Daniel Kathryn?"

"Because that's too easy" Sebastian states.

"Besides that I broke it off with Daniel the other night"

"You what!?" Sebastian yells at me.

"I was pissed off about you getting the whore knocked up okay?"

"What!?" Blaine interjects. "Hold the fuck on. Did Valmont get his bitch knocked up?"

"No. Well, no I'm quite sure I didn't. Belle and I haven't been on the best of terms lately and we haven't done it in awhile, and the times we had I used a condom and I know they didn't break. So she's either lying or it's Daniel's"

"So let me get this straight" He starts. "Your gold digging mother" He points to me. "got Isabelle to claim him" He points to Sebastian. "as her bitch and then you" He points to me. "left for London where she got hottie mc hottie to claim you. But really his" he points to Sebastian. "bitch is with your" He points to me. "fiancé? And then just to make this like some drama TV show, she gets 'knocked up'?"

"Yes" Sebastian and I reply at the same time.

"Wow. That's way confusing"

"Can you do it?" I ask. "Can you find everything on them and have it to me by tomorrow?"

"Well I can't promise you anything…" Sebastian takes out a very large wad of cash (about $20, 000) from his jacket pocket and chucks it on Blaine's desk. "Sure, I can have it to you tomorrow" He smirks.

"Good. Come over tomorrow afternoon okay?" I tell him before walking to the door on my crutches.

Sebastian follows me, he kisses my shoulder as I stop at the door to open it. I don't yell at him or scowl, I enjoy it. Blaine doesn't.

"Vomit material" He yells as we leave.

* * *

**A/N: Here you go guys. Review please, helps me get motivated.**


	26. Vingtsix

Blaine has all the stuff I need, everything about Daniel, Isabelle and my mother that I need to fuck them up. I haven't told Sebastian that I've received the documents yet, I want to read them first and then he can have a look. After all it was me who got the worse hit from them.

I scan the file of Isabelle, her and Daniel have been married for quite some time, she's got two brother, her mother is dead and her father's in jail. Boring. Wait, here's something. Isabelle's been to rehab…several times for, ha ha, a cocaine addiction.

Interesting, seems we have more in common than I first thought.

Opening Daniel's file a large photo of him in a jumpsuit presents itself to me. I laugh, he looks gloomy. He's been to jail twice for drug dealing, dealing cocaine in fact. Maybe that's how Isabelle and Daniel met. There's nothing else in his file.

My mother's file stares at me, I want to open it but I really don't want to know the dirt on her. I mean what if it says she's really not my mother? I guess it wouldn't be so terrible.

I finally bring my hands to the file and open it up, two photos are on the first page. The top photo is of a young version of my mother. She's with a man, who looks a few years older, I think it's my dad. They look happy, my dad is kissing my mother's cheek, she's holding on to her stomach whilst smiling at her. The next photo is darker, it's my mother, it looks to be taken a few weeks ago maybe, she's kissing a younger man, a much younger man. There's a caption under the photo it read 'Tiffany Merteuil and Daniel Cosgrove', there's a date underneath, it dates back to the week of my accident.

I'm about to read more into my mother's file when Sebastian knocks (how do I know it's him? He knocks thrice then enters without me telling him to) and enters with a flower in his hand.

"Good afternoon" He smiles brightly.

"You're in a happy mood. Did Isabelle fall off a cliff?"

He laughs and takes a seat on my bed. He kisses my cheek softly and gives me the flower. I take in the scent of the beautiful flower, closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath. Sebastian takes this chance to kiss me. I'm taken by surprise at first so I don't react, but as he pushes me back onto the bed I start to kiss him back. The files jumble as we push them aside.

"I missed you" He says as he starts to unbutton his blue shirt.

I don't respond, he's sappy and cute. I don't do sappy and cute.

"Sebastian I have the files" I say, he stops and gets off me.

Sebastian picks up the three (large) folders of information and looks at the fronts of them. He looks to be deciding which to read first. He takes a seat next to me and opens up Isabelle's first. After a few minutes he says something.

"She was an addict like you"

"Don't _ever_ compare me to the whore" I scowl.

"She's been in rehab more than you though, I never would have guessed"

"Well she was tainted long before you got to her Valmont, now put those down and come here" I purr in his ear.

Surprisingly he puts down Isabelle's file and picks up Daniel's. He reads it and laughs, I know what he's laughing at. I sit on my bed bored, I contemplated getting up and leaving, but I decided to stay, if only for the company.

"He was perfect for you Kat"

"Shut up"

He then opens my mother's file and sees the two pictures. He glares at her in the photos.

"Dirty whore" He says, directing the comment at my mother.

He keeps reading, I peer over his shoulder to read the rest of the file with him. It's mostly about her charity work and her divorce to my father, but towards the end something sparks my attention.

"My father's name wasn't Andrew" I say, reaching over and snatching the file from Sebastian's hands.

"Hey I was reading that!"

"Kathryn Merteuil, daughter of Tiffany Merteuil and Andrew Merteuil" I read.

"So?"

"My dad's name was Richard, not Andrew. I had an uncle Andrew, maybe they got the names mixed up"

"Or maybe…your father wasn't your father and your uncle is really your father" He replies, snatching the folder back.

"But…no that can't be, my mother wouldn't"

"Who cares" Sebastian remarks.

He throws the folder to the floor and embraces me into his arms. I giggle like a school girl. He kisses my neck and pushes me onto my back. Suddenly all thoughts of who was my father leave my mind.

"Sebastian" I giggle. "My mother could come home any second"

"Oh well, let the devil see us sin" He laughs, peeling off my clothes.

I can't help but let him.

---

The cigarette smoke from Sebastian's cigarette reached my nostrils, most found the smell putrid, but I found comfort in the strong scent of cigarettes. He takes another drag and holds it in for awhile, then exhales, a long trail of smoke coming from his pink lips.

His naked chest bore deep red scratches now and a few teeth mark near his collar bone. The deep blue covers of my bed were draped carelessly over the lower part of his naked body, whilst I had sunk deep into so they covered my body to my shoulders.

"Sebastian, do you think I'll ever walk again?"

He doesn't take his eyes off the file of my mother. "You are walking" He responds.

"I mean do you ever think I'll walk without crutches or a walking frame?"

"You mean on your own?"

I nod silently, watching his eyes scan from left to right reading whatever was written about my mother.

"Of course you will. Don't be stupid Kathryn, you'll walk soon enough and when you do you're going to walk straight down tha-" He stops mid sentence.

"Straight down that what?" I ask, sitting up.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter"

He takes his eyes from the file and kisses my forehead. I can smell the smoke on his breath, but he still smells good, like he used to when he was all mine.

"Sebastian, don't lie to me"

"I'm not. It was nothing, don't worry about it" He looks to his watch that's sitting on my bedside table. "I have to go, I'm meeting Isabelle for a late dinner"

Sebastian places the file down beside me and climbs out of bed. He stretches, lifting his arms above his head, I can see a small trail of hair leading from his belly button downwards.

"Do you have to? Can't you stay here with me?" I purr, removing the covers from my naked body.

"I'd love to _sis_ but I promised her I would take her to dinner" He dresses back up, putting on his shirt that I ripped the buttons from earlier on.

"But we never formulated a plan, we got so caught up fucking" I pouted.

"I'm sorry Kathryn, but I do have to go. I'll come over tomorrow okay?"

He pulls up his pants and lazily walks to me and kisses my mouth softly. I hold him in place for a few seconds, savouring his taste and his scent. I finally let go, but he stays in his position staring me in the eyes for quite sometimes.

"I l-"

I silence him with my finger and kiss his lips once more. "Don't, not when you're going to go see her" I tell him, pulling on a robe.

Sebastian starts to walk away but stops at my door with a funny look on his face. "I have a plan" He tells me.

"What?" I ask, turning to him from my bathroom doorway.

"I have a plan but I have to go. I'll come over later okay?" He turns and leaves before I have a chance to ask him what it is.

---

"Tell me Kathryn, why are you so happy tonight? Landed yourself a new boy toy?" Blaine asks me, dishing out several lines of cocaine on my desk.

"Something like that" I tell him.

Honestly I don't think he would care that Sebastian and I are well I don't know. We're not dating but I feel obligated to be faithful to him.

"Oh, who is it? Is he hot?"

"You know him" I tell Blaine, snorting a line. "And yes, he's fucking hot"

"Is he new in town? Oh don't tell me, is it that guy that moved next door to me?"

"No" I smile, snorting another line.

"Who the fuck is it then?" He pushes me slightly.

Just then Sebastian enters without knocking, I suppose he had assumed I'd be alone because he immediately starts taking off his shirt.

"Sebastian" I smile, answering Blaine's question without him knowing.

"Fuck I'm so horny Kathryn, let's fuck and then I'll tell you what I've got in store for your mother, Isabelle and Daniel" He says.

I snort another line, Blaine stays quiet enjoying the look of Sebastian's half naked body.

"Sebastian" I interrupt his stripping.

He looks to me and sees Blaine giggling quietly.

"Shit" He says as he throws on his shirt and pulls his pants back on his pants. "You could have told me the queer was here"

"Sorry" I say, getting up on my crutches and kissing his cheek.

His hands move to my face and he kisses my lips softly, but with passion.

"Oh my fucking god!" Blaine squeals. "You guys are fucking! Oh my god!"

"We're more than fucking Blaine" Sebastian says as I move back to snort a line or two.

"That's him?" Blaine questions me. "That's the guy you said you were kinda with? Sebastian fucking Valmont?"

I shrug at Blaine. Truthfully I didn't know what we were, I wasn't sure if we were more or less.

"We're not together" I say as I snort a line. "Not until this is all over, then if I still feel like it maybe I'll let Sebastian date me" I clean up the rest of the coke.

Sebastian takes a seat on my bed, picking up the 3 files, we'd both looked over them numerous times, it was just a habit of reading it I suppose, the more it sunk in the better the plan would be.

"So this plan of yours Sebastian, what does it involve?" I ask, taking a seat beside him as Blaine watches on in disgust.

"Well the best I can do is hit two with one stone" He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Daniel and Isabelle. Daniel was a drug dealer and Isabelle's a reformed coke addict. So if we frame Daniel with drug dealing and Isabelle with drug possession in the one hit there's killing two birds with one stone" Sebastian explains.

Blaine interrupts. "Yeah, but that's like a year or so in jail, nothing that'll fuck it all up for them"

"You would be right, except this time around I'll be 'concerned' for her and have her sent to rehab instead of jail, so she'll be in rehab for more than 5 years if I have anything to do with it"

"And Daniel?" I ask, pondering on Sebastian's plan.

"Well he'll be caught with drugs inside the big house and that won't go down well. There's my plan"

"What about Kathryn's mother?" Blaine questions Sebastian.

"Oh right, well we have proof of her cheating ways, so we'll tell my dad, get him to divorce the hag. That'll be the end of her social life here in Manhattan and most of Europe and then Kathryn and I can…" He pauses.

"Can what?" I ask.

"Dating" Blaine says before Sebastian has a chance to cover up his lies.

Sebastian's plan isn't what I want exactly and it won't seriously fuck them up but if it's the best we can do then so be it. They are going to regret fucking me over.

---

Dinner the next night makes me a little on edge. Everyone's here, Sebastian and his bitch, my step-father, my mother and even Daniel (I hadn't yet told my mother we'd broken up). I'm seated between Sebastian and Daniel.

"Kathryn sweet heart have you and Daniel planned anything for the wedding?" My mother asks.

"Not as of yet mother" I smile fakely, only Sebastian notices.

I look at everyone seated around the table. If you looked in from a window you'd think of us as the perfect happy family. Which is certainly not what we are.

Edward is practically jumping out of his seat, ready to go meet his new secretary for 'business', I can see my mother wants to retreat to Bali with her boy toy or something and Sebastian and I both want to get the fuck out of there and go upstairs and fuck like bunnies for the rest of the night. I think the chances of that happening are about 0 to a million.

"How are you Isabelle? Has morning sickness set in yet?" My mother questions.

"No, not yet. I just hope when it sets in, Sebastian is around, he's been working a lot lately"

"Working? Sebastian's been here with Kathryn and sometimes that friend of theirs almost every night"

"Oh"

She looks so innocent that I almost believe what she's saying, but I remember who she is and what she's done to us.

"I think you and Sebastian have some things to work out" My mother smiles.

"Yes I do too. Can we be excused?" She says politely, placing her white napkin down and taking a step towards the stairs.

Sebastian looks to me and then to her, she pleads him with her eyes. I just glare at him, he should have stayed.

Once they're gone my mother starts talking to Daniel about the wedding. My mind wanders to other things, mainly Sebastian. I can't help but think of him, it frustrates me sometimes.

"Kathryn what do you think?" Daniel says, placing a hand atop mine.

"Hmm?"

"About the wedding, should we hold it at your Aunt Helen's or that chapel in London?"

Neither, I'm not fucking marrying you, you lying, cheating bastard. "I don't know"

"Is something wrong sweetie?" My mother asks with fake concern.

Yes, you stupid whore. "No, nothing, I'm just tired"

"Maybe you should go take a nap baby? I'll be up later to check on you okay?" Daniel kisses my temple.

"Actually I think I might take a walk, the fresh air might help"

I excuse myself and leave my mother to socialise with my fiancé and sep-father. My footsteps take me into the indoor pool, I was hoping they'd take me outside but this is just as good I suppose.

The water is clear and still, it's almost a beautiful sight. I take off my heels and lay on the lounge, it's not as comfortable as my bed, but it'll do. My mind takes me to Sebastian's revenge plan.

Something is odd about Sebastian, he stopped mid sentence saying something about me walking but he wouldn't tell me what. I know that it would fucking great if I could walk properly again but seriously he was like obsessing over it.

"Kathryn?" Sebastian's voice travelled through the indoor pool room, it echoed.

"How did your talk with Isabelle go?" I asked, sitting up on the lounge.

"Fine. She doesn't suspect a thing. I told her I was helping you with therapy. Stupid bitch believed everything word I spat"

"Did you ever love her Seb?"

"What?"

"Well I mean if you really loved her you would never have thought about doing this to her. So did you ever love her or is it just now that you stopped because I'm back?"

He laughed at me, he actually laughed at me. I scowled viscously at him. "You think…ha, I stopped loving her because you're back? My aren't you a conceited bitch"

"Shut up asshole" I crossed my arms across my bare chest.

"Don't get all uptight Kat, the truth is she was like an Annette, sure I loved her for awhile but I missed you. I missed us, it just grew old but by then I was engaged and I couldn't break her heart so I just went ahead with it and after you left she was really all I had left"

"Still, you chose her over me"

"I thought you were fucking with me. I mean c'mon Kathryn, when have you ever meant 'I love you' sincerely?"

I smirked, he was kind of right. I mean at first this thing with me loving Sebastian and getting him to break up with Isabelle was fake and I didn't love him, I hated him, but I found that as time went on I felt what I never wanted to, I started to love him.

"I love you" I told him quickly.

He stood still, watching me intensely with those blue eyes of his. I'm not sure whether he believed me or if he was just shocked at what I said.

"You can't just say it to me and not mean it though Kathryn okay? So if you don't mean it take it back now because I _do_ love you, but I don't want the illusion that you feel the same if you don't"

I got up from the lounge and walked to Sebastian, my hips swaying slightly. He watched me carefully as if I'd suddenly pull a gun out and shoot him. As I approached him he was cautious to touch me but eventually he brought his hands to my face. My hands rested on his chest softly as I took in the scent of Sebastian's aftershave; something elegant and charming.

"No I mean it. I feel the same, I think I always have I've just tried to disguise what I feel for so long that even I couldn't see it. What I feel for you Sebastian is stronger than anything I've ever felt before and maybe I'm perverse for wanting my brother in such crude ways but I do and I don't think that's ever going to change" I caressed his face lovingly, placing my hand on his that were still on my face. "I know I'm acting out of character and maybe you don't believe me because you're so used to seeing the ice queen I am. All I know Seb, is that it's always been just you and me, Kathryn and Sebastian and no matter how much things change I think it'll always just be us and in some way we were meant to be together and what we've been through is just a test of our love"

My heart was beating so rapidly I thought it'd jump out of my body. Sebastian for the most part, couldn't believe what I'd just told him, I think he was somewhat touched by my grand speech too.

"Wow. Who ever thought that Kathryn Merteuil would profess her love ever, let alone to me, Sebastian Valmont" He laugh lightly.

"You're such an asshole Sebastian. I just confessed my…feelings for you and you laugh at me and make a joke, sometimes you-"

Sebastian's hands got lost in my hair as he moved in and kissed me passionately. I didn't resist like I would have in my younger years, I welcomed the kiss, massaging his tongue with my own when he forced it inside my mouth. My hands snaked down to the waist band of his pants, I contemplated putting my hands down his pants but decided against it.

"Kathryn…wait" Sebastian said in between making out with me.

I groaned in annoyance.

"I have something for you"

I smiled excitedly and anticipated my gift. He had no largely wrapped presents in his hands so my best guess was jewellery.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You'll see"

He walked me over the lounge chair I'd been previously laying on and sat me down. I looked at him confused, but he kept the same expression one I couldn't read.

"So I know it was probably really hard for you to say all that shit to me before…"

"That was not shit!" I complained pouting.

"Shut up and let me finish okay?"

"Fine"

"So as I was saying, I know it's hard for you to be all caring and actually look like you have a heart and all, but this is kind of hard for me to alright? You see Kathryn ever since I remember meeting you I'd had peculiar fascination with you. It's not that you're beautiful or extremely sexy, god knows you are but there's just something different about you, something special. I've loved you for so long now, Kathryn, you just don't know how long" He paused smiling at me with his perfect white teeth and then he kneeled beside me and kissed me hand. "You're vindictive and hard headed, dangerous and sexy but I can't help wanting you. What I'm trying to say is that I'd be the happiest guy alive if you'd say yes to my question"

I smiled, knowing very well what he was asking me, but I wanted him to say it. "What's the question Sebastian?"

He threw a small velvet box at me, I caught it and opened it up to a white gold banded ring with several small emerald stones embedded in the white gold ring.

"Will you marry me Kathryn?"

I took the ring out and bit it, he looked at me strangely. "Just making sure it's real before I give you my answer" I fingered the ring, admiring it, it really was a beautiful ring, I loved the emerald stones, they matched my eyes.

"So? Will you?"

"I suppose I will" I acted as normal, inside I was ready to jump for joy.

He kissed me and placed the ring on my ring finger, it looked perfect there but I knew it couldn't stay there, Daniel…or my mother would ask who gave it to me.

"Sebastian…"

"I know, I know, Kathryn just let me admire it on your finger for a moment"

We sat there for a few minutes, he admired the ring, stroking my hand gently and kissing it every now and then. By now I was sure everyone would be wondering where we were and it would not be easy to explain where I'd been, but at the moment I didn't care.

"We should go" I whispered.

He pulled the ring from my finger and placed it in my hand. He kissed my forehead lightly and then stupidly smiled at me.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked.

"You, I mean after all this time of trying to get you, I finally have you or I will when we get married"

"Pussy"

"Bitch"

Silently we walked out of the pool room. We'd been in there so long that we hadn't realised how late it was. All the lights were turned off and there was no one around. We both walked quietly up the stairs stopping every few steps so Sebastian could kiss my cheek. When we got to the hallway where both our rooms were he stopped me and kissed my temple.

"Goodnight. I love you" He said before turning away knowing that I wouldn't say it back.

I ventured into my room and found Daniel wide awake seated on my bed waiting for me. He looked furious.

"Hey…"

"Where the hell were you!?"

"Don't yell at me. I was taking time to myself okay?"

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not lying okay? I don't see why it should matter anyway. _We _are no longer together remember? So fuck you Daniel"

The ring I had in my hand found itself in one of my draws in my vanity table. I placed it in an old jewellery box I had.

"When are you telling your mother?" He said more calmly.

"I don't know" Never, you're going to be ruined before that.

"It's funny you know because when I went to see Isabelle thinking that maybe you'd be with her she said Sebastian had gone for a swim. Were you with him?"

"No" I replied, I was a great liar. "I'm tired alright? Let me sleep we can fight more in the morning"

He layed down beside me and turned off the bedside light. Daniel's arm swung over me but I flung it back over me and moved further away from him. My last thoughts before I slept were of my new fiancé, Sebastian.

* * *

**A/N: 4 chapters left of this story. It's been a good road. Enjoy. Reviews.**


	27. Vingtsept

It's been a week since Sebastian had proposed to me. A week and we hadn't even told Blaine we were engaged. We'd secretly glance at each other and share matching smiles before anyone noticed and then returned to our separate conversations. Things were great, but they weren't about to be.

I can't even remember the occasion for celebrating tonight but I was. I think it was something to do with Isabelle's pregnancy so Sebastian had organised for us all to go out to a club. Though I think me and him were celebrating our engagement.

Tonight would be the night we'd ruin Isabelle and Daniel, seeing as we were all out together and they were both pretty far gone, they really wouldn't suspect anything. I'd gotten a large supply of various drugs (Coke, pot, ice and a few others Blaine had just got in) that I've planned to place in Daniel's pockets later on.

"Kathryn come dance you fucking sexy woman!" Sebastian yelled over the loud music.

He was pretty far gone himself, he insisted that I'd drink to, but I only had a few glasses of vodka because I planned on starting our plan tonight. His arm was slung over my shoulder, I could feel his sweaty hands all over my bare shoulders.

"Sebastian get your sweaty hands off me"

"Baby…Dance with me"

He kissed my shoulder, I was glad we'd gotten a table that was hidden from most of the crowd. I shoved him away angrily.

"Sebastian do you want to get my reputation ruined!? Get the fuck off me"

"Whore"

"Eat me asshole"

Blaine came over to us, producing three glasses of fresh alcohol. Sebastian took his without hesitation and downed it in one gulp, he always was a fast drinker. I myself took one sip and put it on the table, I hated to drink fast.

"Do you have the stuff?" I asked Blaine focusing on Isabelle and Daniel dancing.

"Yeah here" He gave me a brown paper bag.

I opened the bag and looked inside, it was such a waste of precious drugs.

"Are you ready?" Blaine said.

"Yeah, I'm going to plant the drugs in Daniel's pocket and give Isabelle this cigarette that is laced in Heroine and on cue you'll bring the cops over and they'll get busted"

Sebastian's part in the plan was to give Isabelle the cigarette, but he was currently passed out on the chair so I would just have to do it myself. I walked over the dancing couple and kissed Daniel's cheek.

"Come outside for a cigarette" I told him, smiling seductively.

He smiled, probably thinking that he'd get to fuck me, he was out of luck because as he was making his way to the door I invited Isabelle too. She agreed thinking nothing of it.

I lit up a cigarette, shivering from the slight cold wind there was that night. Daniel wrapped his arms around me holding me close for warmth, I took this chance to plant the drugs in the inside of his jacket pocket. I then passed Isabelle a cigarette laced with Heroine, the one Blaine had given to me before.

"Thanks" I said to Daniel, pulling away from him.

Isabelle took in a large drag of the cigarette I had given her, she immediately suspected something.

"What's in this?" She asked.

"Nothing. It's just a normal cigarette. Why?"

"It…nothing, it's fine"

I waited around a few minutes before excusing myself to go to the toilet, leaving Daniel and Isabelle to be busted. Around the corner I met with Blaine who was watching from afar.

"Did it all go as planned?" He asked.

"Yeah, I just have to go and accuse them of using drugs to that cop over there" I pointed to a cop who was eating a burger over by his car a few metres from the club.

Blaine nodded in agreement as I set off to talk to the police man. Once I reached him I was disgusted towards him. His shirt was covered in food and he kept staring at my cleavage.

"Excuse me are you on duty?" I asked him innocently.

"Yes I am ma'am, is there a problem?"

"Well yes, I don't mean to get anyone in trouble but that guy over there" I pointed to Daniel who was laughing with Isabelle. "Just tried to sell me some cocaine, I refused but he has drugs on him and I'm really against them. I think the girl is smoking some sort of drug too"

"Did he show you the drug Miss?"

"Yes. He brought out a few plastic bags with different drugs in them, I could only recognise two; cocaine and marijuana"

"Okay. Well you go back inside Miss and go back to your friends, I'll go attend to those two. Have a nice night" He took off his hat to me and smiled politely.

"Fucking pig" I retorted after he'd left.

I went back to Blaine who was still watching the pair from afar.

"It's done, the cop should be busting them any minute"

Just as I finished my sentence, the back door flung open and hit me. I stumbled back and fell to the ground. I looked up, my eyes were blurry, I saw Sebastian look down at me and start pissing himself with laughter.

"Fucking priceless, the precious princess flat on her ass"

Blaine kneeled beside me glaring at Sebastian just as much as I would have if my head wasn't aching so much.

"Valmont you asshole, she's bleeding!"

"I am?" I questioned.

Blaine took out a handkerchief and wiped the side of my head softly. He was like the brother that I never had, we all know Sebastian was never my brother.

"S…sorry" He laughed.

He helped me up, although I think he shouldn't have. Sebastian wasn't very steady on his feet, so I pushed him back and he fell on his ass. I looked back at Daniel and Isabelle just in time to see the police man put hand cuffs on Daniel. I laughed quietly, snickering at him.

"Perfect"

I stepped out from behind the wall and walked over to them. Daniel looked at me with pleading eyes. I smirked, Isabelle was already sitting on the ground with hand cuffs on her wrists. She'd probably be drug tested later.

"Kat baby, tell the officer I don't do drugs, you know I'm against all that shit"

"Honey" I said, stroking his face. "I know all about you okay? I know everything about you and about Isabelle, the plan, everything which includes the fact you forgot to tell me; you've been jailed for drug dealing once before" I moved in close and licked his ear seductively. "Have fun in jail baby"

"You! You did this you vindictive bitch!"

"Oi! Don't speak to the lady like that alright mate? Now keep quiet"

Sebastian came out from behind the club with Blaine, stumbling mind you from all the alcohol he'd consumed. He moved over to Isabelle and sat down, kissing her cheek.

"Baby, I know" He said, slurring. "Everythinggggggg, we were never married. Doesn't matter now, me…I don't love you anyway"

"Sebastian, sweetheart, you're drunk. You don't know what you're on about. Tell the cop I don't do drugs please"

"Nah. Sorry no can do. Bye"

The cop took away the pair, but not without a fight. Both went off kicking and screaming making quite a scene.

"Time to go I think" I said.

Sebastian agreed, falling into my arms pathetically whilst Blaine laughed at him.

---

Morning came upon us, Blaine was asleep on the sofa in my room whilst Sebastian was happily passed out on my bed. I'd slept comfortably beside him but awoke a few hours ago, so by now I was showered and dressed for what today was going to bring.

"Fuck" I heard Sebastian grumble as he awoke. "What the fuck happened last night?"

He clutched his head in agony as he sat up. I watched him from my vanity table.

"Well, we went out to celebrate…you know and then you got drunk and forgot all about the plan. Luckily I didn't and it all went good and now both Daniel and Isabelle and in jail rotting"

"How much did I drink?"

"I don't know, I stopped counting how many glasses after your 10th glass"

Sebastian groaned and then for the first time noticed a still sleeping Blaine. He smirked like he had an idea, I was scared to ask what it was so I didn't ask, I ignored his smirk and tried to concentrate on my looks. I heard him groan again and then approach me.

"You look amazing Kathryn"

His hands rested on my shoulders, lightly massaging them whilst I stared at us through the mirror. He placed light kisses along my neck.

"Sebastian…Blaine's right over there"

"That's what makes this fun"

"Sebastian" I groaned getting up.

"C'mon Kathryn, don't you think it'd be fun?"

"Well…it would be hilarious to see the queer's face when he wakes to find me riding you"

"Think of it as celebrating our win yesterday" He whispered, slowly discarding the dress I had on.

"Sebastian" I laughed as he fingers grazed my ribs.

"What was that? Did you laugh Kathryn?" He joked.

"Shut up and fuck me"

Sebastian's kisses started at my collar bone and moved down to my chest, but he was purposely avoiding my breasts if only to aggravate me.

"Sebastian, stop teasing me"

He smirked teasingly and started to suck on my nipple. I moaned in pleasure as his clothes became discarded alongside mine.

"Oh fuck" I moaned as his kisses started to trail down south.

His head disappeared in between my thighs, my hands became tangled in his dark blonde curls and my eyes were transfixed on the ceiling. His tongue flicked over all the right places, delving inside me a few times and then sucking on my clit and repeating that several times.

"Sebastian…stop before I…oh…cum"

Sebastian's head popped up and his mouth made it back to me. My hand reached down to his now very hard erection, I stroked it fast, pumping it as fast as I could with my hands. His movements on me stopped as he was overcome with pleasure. I licked his lips seductively, smirking all the while.

"Kathryn, baby"

"Fuck me now Seb"

He quickly pushed inside me, filling me deeply and fully. I cried out in both pleasure and pain, whilst he lost himself in my hair. I flipped us over with one swift move so I was on top of him. I consumed him, sitting on his erection and bouncing up and down as he groped me.

"You're so beautiful, Kathryn" He gasped.

I replied by pushing down harder on him, consuming him wholly. Sebastian gasped, gripping my hips, I was sure I would have bruisers by tomorrow.

"Fuck" I groaned, throwing my head back.

Sebastian started to thrust his hips up towards mine, our skin meeting and slapping together. Just as he started to do that Blaine started to stir, I smirked at Sebastian, leant down and licked his neck.

"Faster" I gasped.

"Oh fuck"

His hips thrusted faster upwards, mine hit his with so much force that it was almost painful. We were so consumed in our activities that we didn't hear Blaine gasp.

"Fucking jesus Christ you two! Can you not do that in another room!?" Blaine yelled.

"Fuck…we're almost…oh…done" Sebastian groaned, feeling both his and my orgasm coming on.

My fingernails dug into his chest fiercely as my climax reached me and I cried out in pleasure, Sebastian following soon after, slamming me down on him and leaving purple bruises on my hips.

"Oh god"

"Fuck"

I fell into Sebastian's arms from the exhaustion of having sex with him. He cradled me there for a few minutes before we both came back to reality and realized that Blaine was still in the room. I got off Sebastian and pulled my clothes back on whilst Sebastian slid his boxers back on.

"Seriously you guys that is disgusting. As if I need to see you two fucking like bunnies" Blaine whined.

"Shut up queer" I replied.

Blaine rolled his eyes at me, obviously not bothering to reply to my comment because he knew I'd just reply back with something much more hurtful.

"So when are you two planning on getting revenge on Tiffany?" Blaine questioned, lighting a joint.

I walked over to Blaine and sat in his lap, snatching the joint from him and taking a few drags before passing it back. The drug passed through my system, clouding my thoughts for just a few seconds.

"Soon" I replied. "I'm waiting for the right moment"

Blaine watched me carefully, I smirked in his direction and gave him a sweet kiss on his cheek like a sister would give her brother before hopping off his lap and practically skipping (yes skipping, I know sad) out of my room and downstairs.

---

Another Manhattan party.

This time the event is something to do with saving the animals or some crap like that. Of course my mother was there, dressed in her finest. Edward was by her side, checking out the younger woman of the charity event. I was on my mother left, sipping on a glass of champagne, acting like the perfect child. I could see Sebastian from here, he was chatting up a student from Manchester Prep.

"I'm sorry to here about your fiancé Kathryn, it must have been heart breaking to learn he was a drug dealer" The woman my mother was speaking to told me.

"Yes, it was. I suppose you just never really know who people are"

"Yes. Sebastian seems alright, considering his wife, or soon to be ex wife was jailed for drug possession"

I looked over to him, he was smiling and using all his charm on the unsuspecting girl.

"Probably just occupying his mind. Would you mind if I excuse myself and check on him?"

"No not at all dear" The woman said.

My mother scowled in my direction.

On my way to Sebastian several men approached me, asking if I'd like to dance or if I'd like I drink. I never agreed to any until I came closer to Sebastian and decided I'd like to piss him off a little.

"Care to dance with me?" A handsome man asked me, gesturing towards the dance floor.

"Sure"

"Chester, Chester Williams and you are?"

"Kathryn Merteuil"

Chester placed a hand on the small of my back, the other in my hand. My hands slid into place as we graced the dance floor perfectly. I watched Sebastian out of the corner of my eye, I could see him watching us. The girl whom he'd been trying to pursue was trying to talk to him, he ignored her and kept his gaze on me. I smiled to him.

"You wouldn't be the same Miss Merteuil whose fiancé was jailed for drug dealing would you?" Chester asked.

"The exact" I replied.

"I'm sorry. It must have been a shock to you"

"Yes"

"Wasn't it your step-brother's girlfriend he was caught with?"

"Yeah"

"If you ask me it's all a bit suspicious"

I stopped moving and froze. If this idiot thought that it was suspicious what was everyone else thinking? Could they know that it was Sebastian and I who set them up?

"Don't be ridiculous"

"You don't think he was cheating on her with him?"

Yes, in fact I know he was cheating on me with her. "No. He loved me"

I looked to where Sebastian was, except he wasn't there anymore. I searched the room for him, but could not see him. Until he stood beside me.

"Excuse me, do you think I could _borrow_ my step-sister for a minute. I need to talk to her"

"Sure"

Chester left me, smirking.

"What were you doing with him?" Sebastian growled, leading me upstairs.

"Dancing, I thought that was obvious"

"I'm not an idiot Kathryn. Were you going to screw him? Is that it?"

I laughed. "When did you become Mr. Clingy?"

"Were you?" He replied with more compassion.

He gently pushed me into one of the rooms.

"No. I was just dancing. What were you doing with that girl?"

"Nothing, I was talking to her"

"Don't lie to me, Sebastian"

"I'm not"

"Is this what it's going to be like Seb?"

"Be like what?" He asked, caressing my cheek.

"This? You talk to a girl and I get jealous so I find a guy to flirt with you and come and yell at me?"

"I didn't yell"

"Sebastian I don't want to be together if we can't learn to trust each other"

"Kathryn, once this is all over, I'm going to take you to the most secluded place I can find and marry you"

I smiled and kissed his cheek. Although the idea of being away from everyone and marrying him on a beach somewhere was a rather appealing idea, I wanted to marry him with everyone watching, I want to give a last fuck you to all of New York before I get married to my step-brother.

"I don't want to get married somewhere secluded"

"What? Where do you want to get married then?"

"Here, in New York. On your Aunt Helen's estate with everyone watching"

"I thought you didn't want that"

"I want to give a last fuck you to everyone before I marry you. Think of it as getting back at everyone for the years we were apart"

"You really are an interesting person Miss Merteuil"

"No more than you dear brother"

Sebastian placed a sweet chaste kiss on my lips before leading me back downstairs to the party. Soon everything will be over with and I can marry Sebastian. When that day comes you can guarantee nothing will get in the way.

* * *

**A/N: 3 Chapters to go my dearies. **

**Here's a preview of what's in the next chapter.**

_He passed me a glass of iced water, not really what I had in mind but I am the picture of perfection. He sits down opposite me and stares at me inquisitively, I don't think I've ever been so nervous and anxious as I am now. _

_"I have something I need to tell you. Recently I found out a few things about my mother and I know you love her very much but I don't think she feels the same" _

_I pass him the document full of my mother and a young male on a beach. I'd picked out the most explicit ones, only those that showed her kissing him – or worse_


	28. Vingthuit

What a lovely day. An exquisite day in fact…or maybe that's just because today is the day my mother goes to hell and pays for all the misery she gave me. Yes that's it, I find this fine, sunny day so wonderful because of my mood.

I enter Sebastian's room, he's sitting at his desk with a book in his hand, his eye glasses are perfectly perched on the bridge of his nose. He looks oddly amazing sitting there, so in peace, it's almost as if he thinks the world doesn't exist and he is the only living creature.

"Hey boyfriend" I say happily, sitting up in front of him on his hard wood desk.

"Fiancé" He replies, still engrossed in his book.

"What?"

He looks up this time. "I'm your fiancé now, not boyfriend" He places the book down and places his hands on my knees.

"Oh, I'm sorry, could've sworn I don't care"

"You can be such a bitch sometimes, Kathryn"

"_You can be such a bitch sometimes, Kathryn_" I imitate him, uncrossing my legs.

"Do you…" He pauses to kiss my right knee. "The papers?"

"Yes"

"Hand them over then"

"Nuh-uh, not until I get my reward"

"Reward?" He inquires as if he didn't know I was going to ask.

"Yes, you know. A little something for my efforts of going out of my way to get these papers for you:

"They're for _us _remember?"

"Whatever. Just get on your knees and work your magic"

Much to my surprise Sebastian gets on his knees and lifts my dress around my waist, kissing up the inner part of my thigh until he reaches my panty line.

"That's it" I moan

"Papers?" He asks as he pulls down my panties.

"Not yet. You haven't earned them"

His fingers move inside me and his tongue magnetizes itself to my clit. The grip on the papers loosens as I drop the beside me, finding the desk to clench as I try to hold in the desperate moans.

"Mmm, baby. I'll never get tired of doing this" Sebastian says.

"I hope…not"

"Thanks" He says quickly.

"For what?" I ask suspiciously, sitting up.

"For these" He gets up and presents the papers in his hands.

I scowl.

"Bastard"

"Think of it as payback for all those years of teasing, princess"

---

The walk to Edward's study seemed to go on forever, although Sebastian and I had gone through the plan for this moment almost 20 times I couldn't help but feel nervous as to what was going to happen. We hadn't really thought up another plan if this fails because well truthfully we really think this will work. Now, I'm not so sure.

I knock on the heavy wooden door three times, waiting for Edward to let me in because I don't want to interrupt anything he's doing.

"Come in"

My hand reaches for the cold door knob. The papers are in my left hand, I'm shaking slightly, enough for people to notice. I curse myself and tell myself to get a grip.

"Kathryn" Edward greets me politely, getting up from his chair. "What can I help you with?"

"Can I have a few minutes of you time?"

"Sure, please sit" He gestured to a leather seat opposite his.

"Thanks"

"Would you like a drink?"

"Sure"

He passed me a glass of iced water, not really what I had in mind but I am the picture of perfection. He sits down opposite me and stares at me inquisitively, I don't think I've ever been so nervous and anxious as I am now.

"I have something I need to tell you. Recently I found out a few things about my mother and I know you love her very much but I don't think she feels the same"

I pass him the document full of my mother and a young male on a beach. I'd picked out the most explicit ones, only those that showed her kissing him – or worse.

"Dear god"

"I know. I reacted the same. I love my mother very much but I can't let her do this to you Edward. You've been like a father to me and I respect you so much"

"I appreciate this Kathryn, but why are you really here?"

Damn it, he saw through me.

"What do you mean? This is what I am here for"

"Kathryn, I know you. I know you are not the perfect fucking princess your mother makes you out to be. I've seen you messing with guys and I know you've been behind some disastrous things. I've seen you with my son too. You and Sebastian have quite an…interesting relationship"

"I…"

"No please. Don't apologize. I think you two make a charming couple and in any other situation I would praise you and tell you to go ahead and do as you please, but you are legally related to Sebastian"

"That can be fixed. All you have to do is divorce my bitchy mother"

"Kathryn, it's not that easy. If I divorce her she's going to get at least half of what I'm worth, if not more"

"Not if you present photos of her being unfaithful. They won't give her anything"

"Kathryn…"

I don't know what had come over me but I actually started to draw tears from my eyes.

"Edward I'm asking a lot from you I know, but I love Sebastian and that's hard for me to admit. He's my equal and my other half and truthfully I always have felt this way about him. He loves me too, he actually proposed to me and I said yes and we do have plans of getting married, but we can't until you and my mother divorce and I could never present her with the idea, she doesn't even like Sebastian let alone approve of me marrying him"

"He loves you?"

"Yes. He does. He tells me over and over again. I love him too"

"I don't know Kathryn. It's paperwork and I have to file for divorce and..."

"Here" I give him the other papers I was holding onto. The divorce papers I had taken liberty to get for Edward already. "All you have to do is sign it"

"What about you? When your mother and I divorce she'll want to move away forever. You'll have to go with her"

"No I won't. Sebastian and I are going to buy a house together, I have my trust fund money, I don't know why I still listen to her anyway. She has nothing on me anymore. I don't need her"

For a minute or so he looks over the papers, scanning them. Then he takes out a pen from his pocket and signs where he had to. I couldn't take the smile off my face.

"Edward you don't know how much this will mean to Sebastian and I. Thank you"

"Looking forward to welcoming you to the family…again"

---

"How did it go?" Sebastian asks, biting into a piece of chicken.

"Good. He signed, I did have to tell him our plans of marrying though, he doesn't mind"

"He only doesn't mind because this means he can fondle you without Tiffany looking on" He growls grumpily.

"Don't be jealous baby" I mock him, if it weren't for the restaurant we were seated in I would have kissed him. "I like you more"

"Like?"

"Yes"

"So…not love?" He questions me quietly.

"Please you know I don't believe in that shit" I lie, he knows I'm lying.

He leans over and looks over my shoulder then kisses my neck secretly, I've never felt so much passion in a small kiss like that.

"Liar. If you didn't love me, you wouldn't marry me. Face it baby, you love me as much as I love you"

I push him away, he was far to close for my liking…in public.

"Let's go" I order him, getting up.

"What? Why?"

"Because"

"Because why?"

"Sebastian just get the fuck up now before I hit you" I try to keep my voice low.

Sebastian throws money on the table and we leave. We get outside and wait for the valet to bring his car around. We get in without questions and he starts to drive off.

"Where are we going?" He asks, keeping his eyes trained on the road.

"Home. We have work to do"

"What?"

"My mother Sebastian!" I yell. "She needs to be destroyed. The sooner she falls on her fat ass the sooner I can mar-"

His lips turn into a smile and he smirks playfully.

"Marry me? I knew you were eager"

"Shut up and drive"

He smiles at me and places his right hand atop mine and holds it. I smile, something I've done a lot lately with Sebastian.

---

Sebastian's hand moves to my breast, I giggle. His mouth latches to my neck and I give out a mew of pleasure.

"Sebastian"

"You know you want to"

"We…stop it…we have work…Sebastian….work to do"

"It can wait"

"You got me to fucking walk, you were that eager. All of a sudden you don't want to marry me?"

He stops and looks me in the eyes. I was only joking, obviously he didn't see that.

"Kathryn, you know I love you and how much I want to marry you"

"I know. I just want to screw my mother over quickly"

"Alright baby. Anything for you"

"Okay. Now, let's see. My mother gets home in a week. Your father should have the divorce papers in order by then. All we need to do is organise our wedding"

I look to Sebastian whose eyes are half lidded. The blankets of his bed are covering his naked chest. He looks adorable and cute and even angelic. Maybe I'm lucky to be marrying the jerk.

His eyes close and I cuddle down next to him. The wedding can wait. The invites, the dress, his suit, the cake, the food, the reception, it can all wait until tomorrow. Right now all I want to do is be here with Seb.

Goodnight Monsieur Valmont.

* * *

**A/N: So there's only two chapters left of my beloved story. And I know this is a short chapter but I needed this to continue with my next chapter.**

**Now I could do this story in one of two way. 1. I could update all 3 chapters now seeing as I've written them all or 2. I could wait another week to update the next chapter and then another week for the last. It all depends on how many reviews you guys give me :P**

**Anyway, here's a snippet of the last chapter for you guys;**

As he prepares to read his hands tremble, I wish they'd stop. 

"Kathryn, I tried memorizing this speech so I wouldn't have to keep looking at this piece of paper instead of your face, but it was impossible. Every time I thought I had remembered it all, the thought of saying this to you would make me forget it all. I had this whole thing planned out but I realise that things never go directly according to the plan, so I'm going to say what it's in my heart and not on paper"...

**Thanks guys.**


	29. Vingtneuf

I hit Sebastian's chest and throw a folder at him. He growls and picks up the folder as I storm off out onto Blaine's balcony. By now our plans to get married had been revealed to Blaine, he was quite ecstatic and most excited about helping me find a dress.

"Cut it out you two, you're getting married in a month and you haven't even sent out invites, Kathryn, you don't have a dress, you've not hired a caterer or found decorations. You two have a lot of work to do" Blaine said, trying to break the argument between Sebastian and I.

"Maybe if the bitch would hurry up and pick what she wants then I could feel better about this" Sebastian scowled at me.

"You're such a jerk"

"Fuck you"

"Blaine let's go" I said angrily, picking up my coat and purse.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Wedding dress shopping. I need to get out of here before I kill him"

"I love you two" Sebastian mockingly told me.

---

I've been to 7 dress shops and tried on about 20 dresses and I still can't find one I like. I can tell Blaine is growing impatient with me but he doesn't know how hard it is to choose a dress.

No one knows this, but when I was little I used to dream of my wedding and the perfect dress. My husband and our children. I can't get married in a dress that I don't love.

Blaine and I walk into our 8th wedding dress shop for that day, a lady approaches us and as I look up I see the dress. The Perfect dress. She starts blabbering to me but I walk off to the dress. It's on a manikin right in the middle of the shop, I'm positive I've never seen a dress so beautiful.

"Kathryn? Are you listening?" Blaine hisses at me. "You're being rude Kathryn"

"Blaine this is the one" I tell him, touching the fabric of the dress.

It's then Blaine looks to where I am and sees the dress.

It's absolutely perfect. It's vintage white silk with a sparkly hem on the skirt. It's strapless and beautiful and perfect.

"Blaine look. It's perfect"

He studies the dress and finally smiles at me. He likes it I could tell.

"Excuse me miss, can she try this dress on please?" Blaine asks the lady.

The lady looks at us like we're trash and can't afford such a thing, I scowl in her direction and she immediately gets the dress for me. I don't even bother going into a dressing room, I un zip my dress and let it fall whilst pulling the other over my head. Blaine zips it up for me, I turn around and stare in the mirror.

"Oh my god Katie. You look amazing!" Blaine squeals like a girl.

"Really?"

"Yes. You make Miss Universe look like shit"

I smile at him and give a gracious spin, the dress turns with me, the skirt flowing with the gust I've made.

"Shall I get the head piece?" The shop worker asks me, I can only nod in response.

As she goes away Blaine sits on a nearby couch. "That one Kat. This is the one you should wear"

For some reason I go into panic about it all. "But what if I can't find the right shoes, or flowers don't match…"

"Stop worrying everything will be alright"

"Here you go Miss Merteuil" She passes me the veil.

Blaine stands up and helps it on my head, adjusting it perfectly. I wait until it's on properly before I dare look at myself in the mirror. Finally it's on and I open my eyes to a different me. It wasn't me. I don't wear wedding dresses. I don't get excited over marriage. Who've I become?

"Blaine this isn't me. I can't do this"

"Don't be stupid Kathryn. Of course you can. You and Valmont are made for each other"

"What if he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore after like a week. Then what?"

"He's not going to. He loves you"

"You think so?"

"Yes. Now get that dress off so we can pay for it and get out of here. I'm starved"

Again I undress in front of everyone and pass the dress and veil to Blaine who takes it to the cashier. I dress and join him at the counter.

"Shoes. That's all I have to shop-" I cut myself off as I pick up a pair of vintage shoes beside the counter.

"This is strange. First the dress, then the veil and now shoes"

"What?" Blaine asks.

"These. They're the shoes I want"

I give them to the cashier woman and she scans everything.

"That comes to $126, 000"

I consider giving her my credit card but pass Sebastian's to her instead. He said I could use it to pay for anything I needed. Why waste my money when he's letting me waste his?

"Isn't that Valmont's?" Blaine questions, noticing the different card.

"Yes. He said I could use it to pay for stuff"

"You've totally pussy whipped him Kat"

"I know"

---

"Oh honey I'm home!" Sebastian yells as he enters my room through the double doors.

"Sebastian! Shut up. My mother is home" I glare at him through the mirror as I keep dressing myself.

"Who cares? In a matter of…" He looks at his watch. "I don't know 3 or so hours my father's going to dump her ass and we'll be free to do whatever the fuck we want baby"

Sebastian's hands go around my waist as I hastily try to fix my hair. I shove him away.

"Can you just go please? I'm trying to get ready"

"Ready for what?"

"Ready for dinner Sebastian. My mother still expects me to look my best"

He sighs loudly as he takes a seat on my bed. I keep fixing my hair.

"Why do you still want to impress her Kathryn? Who cares what she thinks anymore"

"I do. Now please just go before we get into another argument"

Obediently he gets up and walks to the door. "Seb?"

"What?" He growls.

"I found the dress today and the shoes and even a veil"

A smile dances across his gorgeous lips and I wish I was closer so I could kiss him.

"I love you" He says as he closes my door and leaves.

Not too long after the whole family was seated around the dining table for dinner. Sebastian was seated across from, his feet rubbing up my leg under the table, I tried not to giggle but it was seriously hard.

"Kathryn what the hell are you giggling about?"

"Nothing mother"

"So you shouldn't be either. I set everything up for you. You should have kept Daniel in line you stupid girl" Her words poured out of her mouth as she finished her 3rd glass of champagne.

I looked to Sebastian, he was the only thing right now keeping me from getting up and slapping her right now. I think he was having trouble restraining himself too. His teeth clenched, he didn't look at me.

"I'm sorry mother"

That's when Edward stepped in. Truthfully I thought he was going to bail on our plans.

"Tiffany may I have a word please?" He asks her, placing his knife and fork down and getting up.

"What is it Edward? Anything you have to say can be said in front of the children, they're not 16 anymore"

"I think you're going to want to excuse them for this"

"Just come out with it Edward, I'm in no mood for games tonight"

Edward sat back down and pulled out the divorce papers from a pocket inside his jacket and presented them on the table, along with three photographs that were lying face down so my mother couldn't see them just yet. I couldn't wait to see the look on her plastic face when he announced he wanted to get divorced.

"What are they? Charity papers?"

"Divorce papers"

"Divorce papers? You want to get a divorce?" Her voice was rising, Sebastian looked at me and gave me a smirk.

This was starting to feel good. That old feeling I used to get when teaming up with Sebastian and ruining other people's lives was back, only 10 times better.

"Yes dear I do"

"Don't you dare dear me Edward" She got up from her seat. "You can be sure you'll be hearing from lawyers. I'm going to milk you for every cent you've got"

I stood up and wiped my mouth.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you mother" I told her.

"Excuse me?" Her eyebrows knitted together in an angry attempt to intimidate me. Well mother, I'm not scared of you anymore.

"You heard me" I threw the photographs at her. "You best just sign those papers and get your fat ass out of here before the society papers find out about this scandal.

Sebastian rose and stood by my side and took my hand secretly as my mother crumbled. Suddenly she seemed 10 inches shorter than me, I felt like I towered over the woman who I've secretly hated for most of my life. It felt good to get one up on the woman whose one upped me for all my life.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that young lady! What you think just because Edward likes ogling your slutty body he's going to let you stay in his house. You're wrong Kathryn. Pack an over night bag we're leaving"

I strode up to her and went to slap her just before Sebastian grabbed my wrists.

"Actually she is staying here Tiffany because I've invited her too. Besides-" I cut him off. I wanted to tell her the good news.

"Besides, Sebastian and I are getting married in a month"

"WHAT!?" Her voice echoed throughout the whole house.

Her face froze, her lips puffed up and she look like she'd seen a ghost.

"I'm. Marrying. Sebastian" I said slowly.

"Not if I don't sign these"

"If you don't then I'll make sure these photos of you and your playboy go to the papers and you'll be ruined forever"

"You wouldn't dare. I'm your mother you should treat me with respect"

"I lost respect for you a long time ago mother. Sign the papers and get the hell out"

She took a pen from the table and scribbled down her signature on all the dotted lines. I watched carefully making sure it was her name she was signing and not just scribbles.

"He doesn't love you Kathryn" She spat. "All he wants from you is a good fuck. It'll never last, you watch in a week he'll find some dumb blonde to cheat on you with and then what? You have no one"

My hand hit her face. I gasped at the loud sound it made. When he face came back to meet mine she had a large red hand print on her face and a malicious smirk. I hated her.

"You've turned out just like me Kathryn. Have fun with Sebastian for all it lasts" Then I hated me. I am just like her.

She turned around and left quickly before I could respond. Edward picked up the papers and told us he was going to get these sorted our right away. I collapsed to the floor, speechless, I couldn't comprehend what was going on anymore. Sebastian sat with me and held me like I was some 4 year old who missed their mom.

"It's okay Katie. She's gone forever now"

"Get the fuck away from me. I don't need your pity Sebastian. I just want to be alone"

"Kathryn…"

"No. Fuck off" I said as I ran upstairs to my bedroom. I could hear him come after me, fortunately I was faster than he was and made it to my bedroom before he did then locked the door behind me so he couldn't get in.

"Kathryn let me in"

"No"

"Come on Kathryn. Don't be angry at me, we have wedding plans to make"

"Maybe I don't want to get married to you anymore!" I yelled in fury. I know I didn't mean it, but did he know?

I didn't hear anything from him. I heard a few footsteps then his door close. I felt shit. I shouldn't have said that, I do want to get married to him.

---

2.46am.

My mother has long been gone.

Edward went out.

And it's been many hours since I quarrelled with Sebastian.

Quietly (Although I don't know why, no body but Seb and I are home) I creep across the hall to Sebastian's open bedroom door. I stand at the doorway peering into the dim room lit by a single lamp at Sebastian's desk.

Sebastian's seated at his desk with several small folders of our wedding. He's flipping through one, I can't see which from here but I think it could be the flowers. He was very adamant on colourful flowers, whilst I wanted white ones. We argued and had make-up sex in Blaine's spa while Blaine was on the phone.

I watch him for several minutes. No matter how many times I've watched him when he thinks he's alone I can never get used to how at peace he is with himself, he's never like this around people, not even me. It's like a heavy weight as been lifted on his shoulders and he can take a breath and live.

"Hey" I whisper from the doorway, clad in only a silky red nightgown.

He looks up but doesn't speak. I can tell he's angry at me by only looking at him. He takes off his glasses and perches them on his desk beside the folders and rubs the bridge of his nose, he always does that when he's frustrated.

"Hi"

I take that as a sign it's safe to enter so I step a few steps in, bringing myself to his bed, a few metres from his desk.

"Can't sleep?" I ask.

"No"

"Me either"

As per usual silence dawns upon us. There's many different silences, peaceful, calming, awkward, I didn't know which this was.

"Did you mean it?" He asks, standing up.

For once I spared him the argument. "No, of course not. I want to get married, it's just the pressure of everything Seb" I come close, placing my arms around his neck in a fashion so unlike me that it shocks him and surprised me.

"Then why'd you say it?"

"Because I'm a bitch? I don't really know. It's just how we work"

He sighs. I want to tell him that it'll never happen again, but I know it will.

"Look Sebastian. This is us. One moment we're sappy and loving the next we're fighting and arguing and then we say hurtful things towards each other that we most certainly don't mean. I'll storm off to my room and lock you out whilst you yell for me to open up, I don't so you go to your room. Hours later one of us gets the courage to speak to the other once more and we make-up. It's what we do, it's who we are" I kiss that spot on the corner of his mouth that makes him smile. "I wouldn't love you if it wasn't. I want to marry you Seb, no matter how many times I'll tell you I don't want to in the next month. I'm not going to say it's going to be fairies and fucking rainbows but it's going to be us. Occasionally we're going to fight and be at each other's throats but we'll always make up, just think of all the make-up sex we get to have Seb"

He laughs and kisses my lips softly, so unnaturally that if I was blind I would swear this wasn't Sebastian.

"You're right Kathryn. It's us. It always has been. Nothings going to change. But just in case should we have divorce papers ready?" He mocks.

I hit him in return and make my way to his desk where he's fucked me many times before. He sits as his desk chair and I sit on his lap. I open the folder for flowers and glance at all our choices. I want white he wants colour. So lets compromise.

"How about white lilies and…"

"No just white. You want white, then you can have white"

I kiss him. I won.

I write that down on our list as I open the next folder. The folder for invites. We'd decided mostly on who we were inviting but never really went over the list, most of it was constructed by I writing my list and he writing his and then just putting them together. I picked up the list and began reading.

"Your list, let's see" I begin, Sebastian puts on his eye glasses again.

"Your Aunt Helen, your dad, your uncle Daniel, brother Dakota, Karen, Ally, Jillian, Mary, Cassie, Rachel…" I pause. "God are all your invites girls you've fucked?"

"No. God. Keep reading"

"Rachel, Ashley, Annette, Danielle…What? Annette? As in Annette fucking Hargrove? Annette-holier-than-thou-I-love-you-Sebastian-virgin-barbie-doll-hyprocrit-Hargrove?"

"Yeah? So? We have a past. I keep in touch with her"

"No way. No way am I letting her ruin my wedding"

I look to him, scowling furiously, how dare he want to invite that piece of Kansas trash.

"Jealous? Afraid?"

"No. God. Let's just get to my list"

"Fine"

"Okay…My mother, my uncle Reginald, The Thompson family, The Williams family, Carter family, Reynolds family-"

"As in Court Reynolds?"

"Yes"

"How come you can invite jerk off and I can't invite Annette?"

"Because _Court_ and his family and members of our social group and the hick isn't. Plus she's from Kansas and will wear some K-mart made dress that'll just ruin my day"

"Well how about if you invite Reynolds then I get to invite Annette. I'll even buy her a new dress so she won't ruin your day okay Princess?"

"Do you really want her there?" I ask him. If it means that much to him then fine. But I will not talk to her.

"Yes. She meant a lot to me a long time ago Kat, you don't have to be intimidated anymore"

"I'm so not intimidated!"

"Whatever Princess"

I slap him with the invite folder and put it back on his desk. I'm done doing this. I'll do it later if I have to.

"So…is everything else sorted?" He asks as I close my eyes and lean back onto him resting my head on his chest.

"Yes. I have a dress, shoes veil. You have a suit and shoes. The venue is at your Aunt Helen's estate. Blaine's going to pick the caterer, we have picked flowers, just have to ring the florist, invites can go out when they've been written. I'd sat most everything is done Mr Valmont"

"Perfect"

He switches off the lamp and reclines in his seat so we are both lying back. I snuggle close to his chest listening to his heart beat, so soothing. He smells like he did when we were younger. Elegance and alcohol, a perfect mixture to seduce any girl.

I can feel his eyes on me, watching me in my half conscious state, he always did like doing that. Finally his eyes close and he starts to relax. His pulse and heart beat recline slightly indicating his slow trail to slumber.

"Kathryn?" His voice is barely audible, maybe it's all the years I've lived with him but I understand him.

"Yes?"

I feel him shift and then all of a sudden I'm on the floor quicker than I can yell his name. He starts to laugh his ass off, poking at me and holding onto his stomach like laughing at me is not a dangerous thing to do.

"Shut up!"

"Oh get that stick out of your ass Kat. It was funny"

"You pushed me to the floor on purpose?"

"I was only having fun"

He stops laughing when I shove him hard. I must be stronger than I thought because he rubs the spot I'd touched him in and pouts like someone had punched him hard.

"Oh I'm sorry did I hurt you? Go fuck yourself"

I walk off, he chases after me, pinching my ass like kids do in high school.

"Sebastian!" I screech, the move surprising and not like Sebastian at all.

"What?"

"You pinched me on the ass"

"I did nothing of the sort. That's totally inappropriate, I'm your brother"

"_Step_-brother. And now you're my former step-brother soon to be husband"

My hands swing around his neck carelessly and I kiss him like there's no tomorrow. He kisses back and his hands manoeuvre there way under my nightgown. I giggle and squeal as his cold hands meet my flesh. Before he starts to have his way with me and I give in I race into his bathroom, he runs after me.

"Sebastian" I squeal as he picks me up in his arms and starts ravishing my neck.

"Stop wiggling you sexy vixen"

He sets me on his bed and looks at me through those gorgeous blue eyes god gave him, eyes that someone as handsome as Sebastian shouldn't be allowed to have. His eyes are partially hidden by the girly golden eye lashes that cover the most part of his eyes, but I can see through them and even if I couldn't I've seen his eyes enough times to write a descriptive story about them.

His pouty pink lips part and then close and then part again like he wants to say something. I don't care what he has to say. Do I want to know? Maybe I'm curious a little, but I think I like him silent right now.

"I used to jerk off to pictures of you" He smirks.

"Ew" I retort, wondering why he told me.

"In the shower. In bed. All those nights I never slept, that's what I'd do. Jerk off over you and then write about you in my journal"

He gets off me and sits beside me.

"Goodnight Kathryn"

He kisses my left cheek and gets under the covers, I follow his actions an lie next to him. I close my eyes and sleep with a smile for I am going to be Kathryn Merteuil-Valmont…or just Kathryn Valmont.

* * *

**A/N: One chapter left. :'( . Thanks for all the reviews too guys, it's realy appreciated, makes me feel like this story is good. It's sad that I have to end this, but maybe if enough people want it I'll write a sequel. **

**Review.**


	30. La Fin

The music starts. I can hear the shuffle of people's feet as everyone stands up. I'm standing outside the recently built chapel on Sebastian's Aunt Helen's estate, the nerves are getting to me. My flower girl (One of Sebastian's 4 year old relatives) proceeds inside the church, I can picture everyone thinking how adorable she is.

Finally my entrance. I take a step to the doorway. Sebastian's at the alter, looking as handsome as ever with Blaine and Dakota by his side, he's smiling like an idiot. My feet start to move, I don't want them to, stop. Stop. Please stop.

Before I know it I'm at the alter, Daniel and Isabelle are seated beside my mother. What the fuck are they doing here? The priest starts to read from his book but all I hear is blah blah blah.

Can you slow down? He doesn't hear me.

Sebastian mouths something, I can't understand. I'm sweating, I feel disgusting and gross, somebody get me the fuck out of here before I pass out.

What the fuck? Sebastian's disappeared. Where's he gone?

Oh god. This is not what I had planned. Not at all.

---

"Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn. Wake up"

My eyes start to open, the bright lights of my room at the Rosemond Estate hits me, I can barely see. Who the fuck dares wake me?

"Get the fuck out of bed Princess"

Blaine.

"What? Why…"

"Shut up. Kathryn you need to get up and start getting ready"

"For what?"

"Your fucking wedding if you don't remember"

My wedding right. I sit up immediately. Fuck what's the time?

The clock reads 7.23am. I've over slept. I have just over 4 hours to get ready. Already this wedding is not going well. My dream is going to come true.

"Kathryn get the fuck in the shower!" Blaine yells, shoving me to the bathroom.

"Okay. Don't get your panties in a twist"

He leaves. Probably to make sure Sebastian's up. Although knowing him he didn't sleep and was up all night reading, or making up plans to screw me over today. He better not or I swear I will murder the smug bastard.

---

Everyone is starting to arrive. From the balcony window I can see them all. Everyone I never liked, I bet they're wondering if I'm really going to marry my former step-brother.

"Miss Merteuil? Can you take a seat please so we can finish your hair?"

I take a seat in front of the large antique mirror in my room. The blonde bimbo I hired for hair and make-up starts busying herself with my hair. I couldn't decide what I wanted done to it so I let her do whatever, as long as she didn't dye or cut it short.

My hands are starting to sweat. Is that a good sign? Why am I nervous? I shouldn't be. Sebastian loves me, it's not like he's going to screw me over and just not show up…he wouldn't would he? Oh fuck. Why am I worrying so much?

The door opens, I freeze. If it's Sebastian I'm going to chop his balls off.

"Princess?"

"Thank god Blaine. Sebastian's here right? You haven't come here to tell me he's left have you?"

He looks at me peculiarly. "No. I came to see how you were doing"

"Fine. Just fine. A little nervous. But fine"

"You look stunning Kathryn"

I smile. It's true. The vintage silk wedding dress I'd bought is divine, I love it. It's so perfect and looks great on me.

"You don't scrub up too bad yourself Tuttle"

"Anyway, I should go and see if Valmont's got his vows in order"

Freeze. Stop breathing. Time stands still. "Vows" Even as I say it everything is in slow motion. "Oh fucking hell. My vows. I can't remember where the fuck I put them"

Blaine's face goes ghost white. I wanted to laugh but if I had have tried vomit might have came out instead. He didn't know what to say. I'm usually calm collected and organised. I should have had it all ready, it's not like me to forget where I put things or lose them all together. I just hope I didn't leave them at the townhouse.

"Where'd you put them last?" Blaine asks.

"I…I can't remember. Oh god"

"Stay calm. Did you remember them?"

"Fuck oh fuck" I start to cry. This is hopeless.

"Don't cry Kathryn. You'll ruin your make-up" I stop.

"My jewellery box!" I yell. "Try there"

Blaine practically sprints across the room to my dresser where my jewellery box is and opens it. Inside are the vows I'd written a week ago. I let out a huge breath, so does Blaine.

"Thank god" He says, relieved.

"Pass them here" I demand as the woman applies finishing touches to my hair.

"I'll see you out there Kathryn" Blaine kisses my cheek. It'll be the last time he does that when I'm still Kathryn Merteuil.

"Hey Blaine"

He stops at the door and turns around.

"Thanks for everything"

"You're welcome Princess"

---

It's a perfect day. I don't know why Sebastian and I didn't have a garden wedding, I mean, neither of us is religious so we really didn't need a chapel, that's why I wanted to marry at his Aunt Helen's I guess.

"Kathryn you look so beautiful" Jasmine, a cousin of Sebastian's tells me. She's one of my bride's maids.

I don't have girlfriends, as most probably notice, or no one I truly like. Since I left New York sometime ago and lost contact with all the bimbos I never made new girlfriends and I don't have any girl relatives my age and Sebastian has a few, so I asked them to be in the wedding.

"Thank you" I reply.

"Rosie, it's your turn to go" Jasmine told Rosetta, Sebastian's 4 year old cousin, my flower girl.

I watched the young girl walk through the double doors to the chapel with a basket of white flowers. My bride's maids hurried around me, waiting for the music to start so I could make my Grand Entrance.

Once more I turned to the full length mirror by the door to check my appearance. Adorned on my neck was a largely expensive and beautiful necklace I'd purchased especially for today. Of course I payed for it on Sebastian's credit card. It was made of tiny diamonds and was perfect for today, I just had to have it.

The music, it starts.

Gulp.

Deep breaths.

I stand at the door, then it opens and everyone turns around mechanically, even Sebastian and you can see the look on his face when he sees me. His eyes light up, he shifts a little and tries to loosen his tie, like it's strangling him.

Just walk Kathryn.

My bride's maids are half way down the isle now, I should have started walking. I can't move, my feet are glued. Please get going feet.

And then they do.

I start to walk, gracefully, elegantly, perfectly, everything I've been taught has been put to use. Every lesson my mother had me take to make my posture and walk so perfect was leading up to this day. All those years of scolding when I'd hunch over or miss a step and stumble slightly, it all paid off for this.

Three steps in and I already spot Annette Hargrove and her dad. They're seated towards the back, probably hoping she wouldn't be seen by me. Fortunately for her I'm in a good mood and instead of snobbing her I smile nothing worth jumping for joy over but something to say peace. She smiles back. She's as plain as ever. Plain pastel blue dress (Probably from K-mart), her hair hasn't changed, still blonde and boring and virginal. Her dad looks at me, probably astonished at the fact that I'm marrying Sebastian. Annette doesn't seem to care, I think she always knew.

I pass them, they're hard to see now.

My hands feel clammy, the bouquet I'm holding is feeling a bit hot in my hands.

I see Court and his family closer to the front. He still looks like his old self; Drunk and jerk like. He looks at me and licks his lips like in an attempt to act sexy so I'll forget about Sebastian and jump him. Fat fucking chance Reynolds, you could never compare to what Sebastian is.

I'm a few big steps away now, Sebastian's nervous, I can see it in his eyes. Don't be, there's nothing to be nervous about anymore Valmont.

At the front is the closest of relatives. My mother one side and a few of my uncles and Sebastian's father and a few of his cousins and uncles and aunts. I make it to the front and stand beside Sebastian.

And then the priest starts his ranting.

I don't listen and I'm positive Sebastian doesn't either. Occasionally he'll give me a side glance and smile, I don't think he can believe he's finally marrying the girl of his dreams. I can't believe it either dear brother.

"The bride and groom have prepared their own vows. Sebastian, would you like to go first?" The priest asks Sebastian. He nods and takes out a small piece of paper from his jacket pocket, but instead of reading from it he scrunches up the paper and puts it back in his pocket.

He seems to loosen up, he breathes and looks at me. "I've been your step-brother, your confidante, best friend, scheming partner, enemy and lover, there's not a time that's gone by since I've known you that I've not wanted to have you in my arms…or my bed" People chuckle lightly, I scowl at Sebastian. "You've wanted to kill me, and I've certainly wanted to kill you. People have thought it wrong that us, being former step-siblings are marrying, but those people don't matter anymore because I have you and you have me. The road isn't going to be easy, there's going to be bumps and holes and at times we're going to yell hurtful things at each other, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Call me sappy or even pussy whipped but I love you Katie"

"Thank you Sebastian" The priest mumbles.

My eyes water, Sebastian makes a face at me. I can't believe I'm crying over a stupid sappy speech from my pussy whipped, soon to be husband.

"Kathryn, your vows?"

Jasmine passes me the paper I'd written my vows on. I unfold the large A4 paper and take a deep breath. Unlike Sebastian I had to write this all down because I can't just bring up feelings like that and say them.

"Sebastian. My one and only confidante and secret desire for the most part of my adolescence. For years I prided myself on my reputation, staking other people's for my own, but never mine for the one chance to be truly happy with the one person I cared about" My hands start to shake, just like Sebastian's had. "We were cursed for many years with being legally related and the fact of a relationship would have been frowned upon, by everyone, especially my mother whose social standings mean more to her than her own daughter's happiness and maybe that's why we fought so much. You'd play games with me, tell me things, hoping I'd risk my reputation so we could be together, I'd always walk away and go back to my ice cold façade. It was only years later when I returned to New York after being away for a few years that I realised how much we were meant for each other and how much I cared about you" Our eyes meet. Blue on green. "Unlike yourself, I had to write this all because I can't just bring up my feelings out of the blue like you and I know you find that frustrating. There's still many things I don't like about you, about us, but if I had to choose one person to fight with day in and day out, it'd be you Valmont. I do love you, even if I don't say it. I do"

"Okay, thank you Kathryn, now the rings please?" The priest asked, taking the rings.

He said a few more things, I wasn't listening, couldn't. Sebastian was staring at me with a big goofy smile.

"Do you, Sebastian Richard Valmont, take Kathryn to be your lawfully wedding wife through sickness and in health…" He trails off.

"I do" The ring gets placed on my finger, I admire the perfect piece of gold that's taken place on my ring finger.

"And do you, Kathryn Marie Merteuil, take Sebastian to be your lawfully wedded husband through sickness and in health…"

"I do" I tell him, I slip the gold band onto Sebastian's ring finger. I see the look he gives me.

"…I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride"

Before I had a chance to look around and savour the moment Sebastian captures my mouth in his own, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I can feel the smile on his lips as he kisses his new wife, as he kisses me. I can also feel the smile on my own lips as he kisses me, I hope he knows its there.

We walk down the aisle, hand in hand. Everyone watches on, my mother, Edward, our relatives, Court, Annette, Dean Hargrove, our social group. His lips shut tightly, I look at my new husband, his blue eyes shine brighter than I've ever seen them shine before. It amazes me.

As we get outside confetti gets thrown in the air and lands on us, going through my hair and down my dress but I don't care. I couldn't have cared less if it was horse shit. I was happy and that's all that mattered.

"Our chariot awaits Mrs Valmont" Sebastian nibbles my neck.

I throw my bouquet back as tradition goes and in amazement Annette catches it.

"Wait. I have to speak to someone" I tell Sebastian, I hurry back to Annette.

"Annette may I speak with you please?" I ask her.

"Sure"

We walk over a few feet.

"Congratulations Kathryn"

"Thanks. I just came here to make peace. I know in the past I've called you names and hated you and shit but this is my wedding day. My fucking wedding day!" I squeal.

"Are you high?" She laughs.

"Don't ruin it Kansas. All I wanted to say is have a good life Hargrove"

"You too Kathryn"

I hurry back to Sebastian whose now waiting at the limo. I get in he follows in after me and as soon as we sit and the door closes he starts to ravish my neck and his hands slide up my dress.

"Sebastian!"

"What? Can't I enjoy my new wife?"

"We only just got in the car. Can't you wait until we get to a hotel…or the plane?"

"God you're demanding"

"God you're a jerk"

"Blow me, you sadistic bitch"

"Eat me, you self absorbed dick"

We laugh at our pettiness. See? We always fight, never anything to blow a relationship on though.

"So Mrs Valmont, how do you like being married to me?"

Sebastian kisses my cheek and grasps my hand. "Oh it's alright. I can think of better people to marry"

"Like who?"

"Like…oh I know, Court Reynolds"

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I kiss him softly. "Of course. I wouldn't trade you for the world baby"

"Good, I plan on being with you forever and making you my bitch" Sebastian's tongue glides over my neck.

---

"You said on the plane!"

"I didn't mean it! Can't you keep your dick in your pants for oh I don't know, 5 minutes!?"

Our yells fill the runway where the Valmont private jet had landed. We were arguing because he'd wanted to fuck me on the plane and I told him he can wait until we are officially on our honey moon. He got angry and started calling me names, of course I retaliated and well you get the picture by now.

"Stop bitching and just get in the goddamn car before I really lose it"

"Don't tell me what to do. I may be your wife Sebastian but I do not take orders from anyone, especially you"

"Just get the fuck in the car so we can get to the hotel"

Our location you ask? A private island Sebastian rented out for 3 weeks. I can't remember the exact location, all I know is there isn't anyone here besides me, Sebastian and the staff of the hotel and restaurants. The island isn't too big, so there's only a hundred or so staff here.

"Ever the charmer Valmont"

"How do you expect me to ask you to get in the car when you're being fucking frustrating?"

"With the upmost respect for me. I _am _your wife now"

"And I _am _your husband now"

We sit in silence for the half an hour car trip to the hotel. I don't want to talk to him like this. We haven't even been married a day and already I could strangle him. I thought it would be hard, but not like this. Maybe it's just the tension of being married, maybe it'll settle when we do. Hopefully it'll settle anyway.

Finally we arrive, Sebastian gets out and walks to the desk requesting our room key as the driver brings our luggage to the bell boy. I follow Sebastian to the elevator, then inside and then to the top floor where our deluxe suite was located.

He opens the door and I open my eyes to the most glorious looking room my eyes have set on so far. I push past him and inspect every room of the suite. It's massive and gorgeous, from our balcony window you can see the ocean, it's so beautiful.

"You like?" He asks, kissing my neck.

"Mhmm"

Funny how Seb and I can go from wanting to kill each other to wanting nothing more than to fuck each other's brains out isn't it?

"You know, you still have this wedding dress on. Don't you think it's about time you take it off?" His voice arouses me.

"Would you do the honours Monsieur Valmont?"

"Of course Madame Valmont"

His hands trail to the back of my dress and he slowly unzips the thin material, peeling it carefully from my skin. He kisses each and every piece of me he can as my dress rumples on the floor beneath us. My bare back touches his shirt, indicating to me that I should take it off. My hands move to his shirt as I turn around and no sooner had I touched it, its lying on the floor with no buttons.

I kick off my shoes that I loved, they hit a wall and make a loud thump, I almost forget that we're here alone. He laughs and takes my panties from my legs as I unclasp and remove the fabric covering my breasts.

"I do love when you're naked" He tells me, kissing his way up to my neck.

"I love when you're naked, so get stripping"

His pants find their way to the floor, his socks, boxers and shoes too. We're both fully naked, but we're not touching just admiring. I don't know what we're admiring really, both of us have seen the other naked many times before. He looks different now though, stronger maybe, not that it's physically possible to look 10 times stronger over night. Maybe it's that he's married now.

Eventually Sebastian moves in and kisses my neck, exactly like he has 6 million and one times before. Soft at first, then hard and then he starts to nibble that spot that makes my knees tremble and my body limp and then he stops. His mouth kisses other spots on my neck, soft and then hard, altercating between the two types of kisses every so often.

My hands get lost in the soft blonde curls I've grown to love and look for in crowds. My fingers intertwine within the golden hair, I finger his curly hair, breathing in the unique scent of his hair.

He kisses around my mouth, but never my mouth exactly, it's a form of teasing I used to tease him with. I long for him to attach is mouth to mine but I don't cry out for it, he wants that. He wants me to ask for it, to moan his name as if giving into the devil. Well he's going to have to try a lot harder than that because I'm not giving in just yet.

Surprisingly he picks me up and takes us to the bed, placing me down on the soft bed spread. I sprawl my body out, giving him a good look at everything. I smirk at him he smirks back and gets to his knees like when he was proposing only he kisses my knee and then proceeds north to my thighs.

No words are shared between us. What's to be said? This is a game. Even as we're married and having sex or making love as one would call it we're playing a game of temptation. He's going to tempt me. He wants me to moan his name or ask for him to pleasure me.

His mouth reaches my opening and as quickly as possible his tongue dances across my opening, the feeling largely noticeable when his tongue hit me. The warm sensation he's started to burn with me ignites a little more when his fingers become dangerously close to inside me. I don't move, I don't squirm.

Right now the fire within me is like that you'd find in a fire place. But I know as soon as he touches me _there_ that fire will burn and will become an out of control blaze that not even Sebastian can put out.

Sebastian looks into my eyes, telling me what he wishes with his eyes. Don't worry Seb, I know what you want but you're not going to get me to say it. I love you, but this is a game after all and I never like to lose.

"Tell me Kathryn, does it feel good when I do this?" He asks as his tongue dashes inside me faster than I'd anticipated.

"Mm…no" I lie, keeping my pleasure filled cries within me.

"What about this?" He asks as three of his magic fingers fill me.

"N…n…No"

"Are you…" He inserts another, pumping into me faster. "Sure?"

"Yes. God Yes"

My body is giving in, my mind isn't. He knows how to trick my body but not my mind. Though given enough pleasure my brain becomes incapable of comprehending things and says anything and everything it wants to. I have no control over anything that happens after that. It's like my brain has gone on vacation.

"Faster did you say Kathryn?" He questions.

I shake my head no. If he goes faster I'll lose it.

"Okay. Faster it is then _sis_"

And his fingers go faster and now that fire that was burning quietly inside me is a burning blaze, the size of a building on fire.

I can feel his fingers work inside me, pushing me to my limits. They pump in and out faster and faster each time as his thumb grazes that sensitive spot he knows will get me off. I know he doesn't want to do that, he wants the first time I cum as his wife to be around his cock.

"Are you enjoying it now?"

If I say no he'll keep playing this game, I can't stand it. "Yes! Oh fuck. Yes"

He stops and gets up. I didn't say to stop did I?

"Good. Time for the real fun"

I sit up, he's standing. My mouth is directly in front of his erection and I know what he wants me to do. "Oh fine" I exasperate. I lick his shaft once and then smile. I just want to fuck, I can't help it if he got me all worked up.

He places his body atop mine, my breasts _just_ touch his bare chest and only by the nipples. I feel the hotness of his cock as he prepares to push inside me. First he kisses me, softly on the lips.

"I love you. I'm happy we got married Kathryn. I'm happy you're my wife"

"You're such a sappy bastard" He looks a little hurt. "But I love you too and yes I am happy I married you Seb even if I never say it again"

Then he pushes inside me and all is lost. His hair in my fingers, his hands all over my body, my finger nails along his back and his scent in my nostrils. Our pasts flash in my head, every naughty thing we've ever done together, all our scheming and hurting of others when we were Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil.

We were powerful back then. Imagine what we could do now? Oh it's not over New York. You can bet your bottom dollar Sebastian and Kathryn Valmont will be back to torment you.

* * *

**A/N: A happy ending for my favourite couple and a very long story. 30 chapters! What was I thinking? Now I'm going to have to find a new story to preoccupy me for I have no major writings in my head :( **

**For those who'd like to know about Hidden Secrets and Two Of A Kind: I've tried several times to start writing these and as much as I try (Because you guys love those stories so much) I just can't. So I'm sorry to anyone who was interested in reading them and I'm sorry for not finishing them. I am happy to give both stories to authors who'd like finish them as long as I get partial credit for the part I did of course. Anyone whose up for it let me know.**

**Until the next story. Kaila.**


	31. Trailer: Part Two

**In The Upper East Side of Manhattan two people rule the social ladder.**

_Kathryn and Sebastian walk into a ballroom full of people who turn around towards them._

"_Oh look at them, so pathetic." _

**And now that they've combined as one once more life in The Upper East Side is about to get even more vicious then ever before.**

"_Oh boo hoo, go cry to mommy." _

_Kathryn walks off from a sobbing girl who's just been ruined. Sebastian greets her and gives her a kiss for her win._

"_I just love when you win." _

**Kathryn and Sebastian have reunited as one, forever this time. Their relationship is stronger than ever.**

_Sebastian moves in and out of Kathryn, harder and faster with each thrust. His hips meet hers each time, she cries out in ecstasy as her high reaches her._

"_I love you, Sebastian."_

"_You too, Kathryn."_

**But can they really stay together forever?**

_Kathryn throws a vase at her new husband. She screams hateful words at him._

"_I fucking hate you!"_

**In a world where everyone has their secrets can two people destined to be together fight the trend?**

"_I'm not lying!"_

"_You are, I can tell! Tell me the truth!"_

**When Sebastian hides an important secret from his new wife can she find it within her to trust him once more and forgive him for his mistake?**

_Kathryn kisses Sebastian passionately, her hands combing through his hair. _

"_I'm so sorry."_

**Coming soon to fan fiction, part two of the epic 'A Kathryn Tale', more lies, more power, more sex. **

* * *

So what do you think? This is like a trailer for the part two story as I'm not sure if I want to do it yet. 

If you like the idea then please review, I most likely won't do a part two if nobody wants one.


	32. We're Back

"Stop whining will you? It's rather annoying, I might just have to kill you."

"I wouldn't have to whine if you'd be less of a bitch."

"Shut up, Sebastian. You're getting on my last nerve."

"You're already on mine."

"Good. Divorce me then you moron."

"Maybe I will."

"Great. Then you can be truly happy and marry that pathetic bitch Annette."

I look at Sebastian, he looks so offended by my comment that he may just cry.

"Kathryn, why do you always bring her up?"

"She's fun to crucify you with. You know if you hadn't have chosen her instead of me we could have been married years ago."

He follows after me as I get into the awaiting limousine outside the airport.

Oh it's good to be back. Did you miss us Upper East Siders? Of course you did. Fear not, the newly married Kathryn and Sebastian Valmont are here to wreak havoc once more on you poor less fortunate social climbing bitches.

"It was a lapse of judgement. Can we stop arguing? We've been arguing the whole plane trip home, Kathryn. It's tiring. I'd really just like to get home."

"Oh right, back to the Valmont mansion where your father is. I'm sure that'll be a thrill." I reply sarcastically, using anything to get at Sebastian.

He smirks mischievously, I know something is up. I look out the window and notice we're not heading towards the Valmont townhouse.

"Where are we going?" I ask smiling.

"While you were off flirting with hotel staff or whatever I was buying us a house." He smiles, sliding over the seat next to me.

"You are fucking kidding right?"

"Not one bit." He whispers kissing my neck.

"How close are we?" I ask, pushing him away.

"Well I'm trying to get closer but you're pushing me away." He laughs, avoiding my question on purpose.

"Sebastian."

"We're close."

I look out the window again, there's houses with actual back gardens here instead of just building. I wonder which is ours. But then I don't have to wonder because I see a large building not too far down the road and it's everything Sebastian knows I would like.

"That's it. Right there. That one." I point out just itching to stop and climb out.

"Yep. That's our new house, baby." He says kissing my cheek still trying to get in my panties.

The limousine stops and I don't even wait for the driver to open my door before I get out and walk over to the door. Sebastian walks slowly after me knowing that this is killing me not knowing. Once he reaches the door he agonisingly slowly takes out the keys and places it in the lock. Turning it slowly I push through the door and stop in the middle of the front room.

"I don't know why you always have to be so pushy, Kathryn. It's not like I was purposely going slowly to tease you or anything." He laughs, it echoes through the house.

"Sebastian, this is amazing. Where the fuck did you find this place?" I ask.

"I didn't. I'd been working on plans for ages and when we finally got engaged I decided to have a house built secretly for us. I didn't furnish it much, just the few necessities, a couch, a table, chairs and of course the bed, the rest is up to you." He says placing his arm around my shoulder.

"Thank you." I whisper afraid someone might here the ever so powerful Kathryn (former Merteuil) Valmont say thank you.

He grabs onto my face gently and kisses my lips so softly capturing my mouth fully. My arms swing around his neck to pull him down closer, I need you Sebastian.

"Shall we go christen the house?" I whisper seductively.

He nods when my hand brushes the growing bulge in his pants.

--

Blaine and I walk inside my new home and I hear the queer friend of mine gasp at how beautiful and grand it is. He spins around to admire every last detail of the front room.

"You like?" I ask, placing my keys in my bag.

"I do. Very much. It's a bit under furnished though don't you think?" He says walking with me to the dining room.

"We only just moved in yesterday Blaine. I was actually hoping you'd help me pick some furnishings, seeing as Sebastian is so lazy and unhelpful."

"I heard that!" A voice yells from the kitchen.

"Sebastian?" Blaine asks.

Sebastian comes out from the kitchen with a tray of food. Mostly just fresh fruit, but I do notice two pieces of mildly burnt French toast as well.

"You cooked?" I laugh.

"I tried." He says, placing the tray on the table. "You want some?" He asks picking up a strawberry and placing it in his mouth.

"No thanks, I think it's safer if I just eat out until we get a cook." I tell him.

Blaine cocks an eyebrow at Sebastian as he hungrily eats the fruit but says nothing.

I walk over to my husband and sit on his lap, he kisses my cheek and I smile in return.

"God you two are so pussy whipped now that you're hitched." Blaine says, taking a seat at the table.

"Shut up Tuttle." Sebastian growls, still devouring fruit.

"Shutting up." Tuttle agrees.

Both of them silence and I could almost fall asleep, having had barely any sleep since last night Sebastian and I went about christening just about every room in the entire house.

"So, I was thinking, I might go back to dad's and grab a few things that I left there. Anything you want whilst I'm there?" Sebastian asks.

"I'd like my clothes. But you can have the maids send them over. While you do that, Tuttle and I are going to go furniture shopping. We need a new bed after last night." I giggle.

"Gross!" Tuttle calls out already out of his seat and on the way to the door.

"I'll see you later." I tell Sebastian looking adoringly into his beautiful eyes.

"I love you." He says munching on fruit.

I smile. He knows I love him but he also knows I don't like to say it.

--

The sales woman walks us to yet another lounge suite, she's showed us probably 15 or more suites and just to be the bitch I know I am I've declined everyone and told her that it just won't do. As we approach the next suite (A lime green 'modern' piece) Blaine giggles, anticipating what I'll say next.

"This is our last suite, it comes with a 2 seater sofa and two single seat lounge chairs with a modern glass table. It comes in lime green, magenta and sunshine yellow." She says, looking tired.

I pretend to ponder on the couch, feeling the fabric and sitting on it to feel its comfortable factor.

"No. No. No. This won't do. Are you fickle? I said I'd like something antique, and in cream or royal blue, not lime green or goddamn Magenta!" I yell at her, Blaine tries to restrain his laughter.

"I'm sorry Miss but I've shown you all our antique range and you denied every suite I showed you."

"Are you chatting back to me?" I say, standing a little taller next to the woman.

"No miss I'm not, I'm simply just trying to tell you that I've shown you all the possible-"

"I'd like to speak to your manager!"

"I really don't think that's necessary."

"I do. Now scamper off and go fetch him you pathetic woman."

The saleswoman hurriedly runs off to another part of the store, leaving Blaine and I alone for a few moments.

"Kathryn you are cruel." He says, sitting on the ugly sofa.

"Oh please, I was just messing about."

"Did you like _any_ of the lounge suites she showed us?"

"Yes. I liked the cream and gold antique sofa suite she showed us first." Like I said before, I'm a bitch.

"So she's been showing us fucking sofa's for over an hour all because you wanted to mess with the poor girl?" Blaine says clearly exasperated.

As I go to reply to Blaine I notice a handsome, tall man walking towards us in a navy blue suit. Clearly the manager.

"Are you the lady Karen said wanted to see me?" He asks looking to me.

I look at Blaine, he nods and licks his lips before mouthing yum behind the back of the manager.

"Kathryn Mer…Valmont." I say.

"Well Kathryn Mervalmont, I'm Dick Randall, the manager."

He smiles and extends his hand towards me. "It's actually just Kathryn Valmont." I laugh, trying to hide the mistake.

"Oh really? You wouldn't happen to be related to the Valmonts from around here then? Edward and Sebastian?" He asks, obviously he doesn't read the society newsletter.

"Distant cousin." Blaine says, extending his hand. "Blaine Tuttle, I'm miss Kathryn's personal assistant."

Dick nods. "Okay so what was the problem?" He asks.

"Oh with the sales woman? Well she's a bit rude if you ask me. Told Miss Kathryn she could shove the sofa where it don't fit." Blaine laughs.

"Blaine." I nudge. "Sorry. She was just a lot of trouble. You don't have time to show us some sofas do you? I'm in desperate need for a lounge suite."

"Yeah, sure. Come with me." He takes Blaine and I back to the front of the store where the first sofa suite was.

"This is our newest stock. It's imported from France and influenced by a sofa Coco Chanel owned years ago. It's not much on the comfort factor but as a show piece it's a magnificent choice. Besides the gold frame with cream fabric it also comes in a silver frame and royal blue fabric."

"I like this one. Royal blue or cream do you think Blaine?"

Blaine puts his pointer finger to his lips and ponders idiotically. "I really don't know Miss. What does Dick think?"

I look at Dick with a sweet smile.

"Personally Miss Valmont it really depends on the colour scheme of the room it's going in."

"It's a cream coloured room." Blaine points out.

"Then the cream and gold sofa suite would go best. I can give you a great price on this, only 15 000 for the two seater, the two single seaters and the antique styled mahogany coffee table."

"I'll take it." I tell him.

"Is there anything else I can help you with today before you pay for your purchase?" He asks.

"Well, I'm really looking to furnish my whole house. Money is no problem and seeing as I'm already spending some here maybe I should just stick around."

"Okay. Sure. What would you like to see next?" He asks.

"Beds I think, right Blaine?"

"Right Miss Kathryn." He smirks.

"Off to the beds then." Dick says, walking in the direction of the beds.

--

After spending over 200 000 in the store Blaine and I finally arrive back at my house giggling and laughing and generally having a good time.

"She totally bitched about you afterwards. Did you see the look she gave you on the way out? What a total whore." Blaine says following you upstairs to the only room that is mostly already furnished.

"I know right? Maybe I'll call up and have her fired. The stupid bitch."

We walk into the bedroom, Sebastian's sitting at the desk in the room going over papers. He looks fucking adorable sitting there with his glasses on, reading.

"Honey, we're home." Blaine says.

"She's home, you're just here but not for long. I'd like to have my way with my wife Tuttle, so leave." He says.

"Gross. Really gross. Leaving now. Bye Kathryn, bye Sebastian."

After Tuttle leaves I go and sit on Sebastian's lap and kiss his lips.

"How was your day?" I ask, flicking through the papers scattered on the desk.

"Fine. How was yours?"

"It was good actually. I furnished the whole house. It should all arrive within a day or two."

"How much did you spend?" He says smiling as he kisses my collar bone.

"Only about 200 000, not too much."

"Mmm, I suppose you could have spent more. That's only like a month's income."

"Mhmm. I bought you something too." I tell him, walking to the bedroom door and picking up my bag.

I get out his gift and pass it to him. He smiles and admires it.

"Thanks." He says as he runs his fingers over the new leather bound journal.

It's not much different to his old one, besides the engravement on the front. It now just simply says Sebastian.

He turns open to the first page and starts to read what I wrote.

_S._

_May you fill this with many more thoughts, pictures and fantasies of me._

_Love K._

"Now who's pussy whipped?"

"Eat me Sebastian."

"If you insist."

I push him away and walk to the bathroom. He sits in his seat for awhile until I take my dress off halfway to the bathroom and beckon for him to come with. He follows like the good little boy he is and wraps his arms around me when he reaches me.

--

Sebastian's arms wrap around my still dripping wet body. His semi-warm body captures me in a tight hug as he starts kissing down my neck and around my collar bone. His hands rest on my abdomen and mine around his neck.

"Sebastian, Sebastian we just had sex like two minutes ago in the shower."

"I know. It was fantastic." He says, pushing my hair aside.

"We have to get dressed, we're having lunch at the tennis club today remember?"

"I remember."

He insists on playing as his hands venture lower, they brush my thighs delicately tempting me to play.

"Sebastian, stop. It's our first time out in public to something like this as a married couple. We can't be late."

Sebastian finally stops and backs away. "I thought you didn't care anymore?"

"Care about what?" I ask as I take out a summer dress.

"Your reputation, impressing people, what others think? I thought it didn't matter anymore."

"It doesn't."

"Then why are we even going?"

"Because we have been here 3 days and all we've done is be shut up in here having sex. People are going to talk soon, Valmont."

"Let them."

"Just get dressed."

"No." He refuses, sitting on the bed like a spoilt brat.

"Sebastian." I sigh.

"Kathryn." He says sarcastically.

"Please, Sebastian. It's important to me. There could be a reward in it for you if you go." I tell him pouting as I dress.

"Fine. But only because it's important to you."

He takes out a blue shirt and a pair of black dress pants and dresses as quickly as he undresses.

When we finally arrive at the tennis club it's almost 11.30 and we're almost late.

"Hurry up." I scowl walking briskly to the lunch room.

"Stop telling me what to do. It's fucking annoying."

I roll my eyes just before we enter the lunch room. I spot my old social group sitting at a large table and walk over there. My mother spots me first, her eyes scan over me and then Sebastian as he catches up to me and grabs my hand. He doesn't do it to be close to me he does it because he knows it'll piss my mother off.

"Kathryn!" One of the socialite girls scream as they see me.

She runs over towards me and gives me a hug.

"You look so great! Oh and Sebastian, wow, you look even better than you did before you got married. How are you?" She says openly flirting with my husband.

"Fine. How are you Judy?"

"I'm alright. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and I've been a bit down." She says like she expects Sebastian to mend her broken heart.

My mother stands up and greets Sebastian and I, dismissing Judy.

"Kathryn, Sebastian, how nice to see you two."

My mother hugs us both wearing a pleasant smile on her too tight face which I just wish I could rip off.

"You too mother. How have you been coping with the divorce?" I ask cockily.

For once I don't care what she says or tries to do to me because I don't live with her and she doesn't control me anymore.

"Kathryn, do not use that tone with me, I am your mother and you will treat me with respect. You already are in my bad books, up and marrying your step-brother." She glares at Sebastian who has moved on to talking to the girls.

"He's my _former_ step-brother now and I'd appreciate it if you treated him as my husband and not some piece of scum I scraped off the bottom of my stilettos."

"He may as well be." She spits, walking off back to her seat.

I approach Sebastian and secretly put my hand in his, feeling less confident than I had before we came, under everyone's hateful glares and malicious whispers.

"Can we go?" I whisper.

He nods and squeezes my hand.

"I'm sorry everyone but something has come up and Kathryn and I must leave. Thank you for inviting us, hopefully we'll see you all soon."

Sebastian leads me out the door of the tennis club and when we finally hit the fresh air I finally breathe again. He brushes my hair from my face and kisses my forehead softly knowing that maybe I'm not as strong as I try to appear and those hurtful things people say behind my back to affect me.

"It's okay. I'm here." He says soothing me with his voice.

"I know. I'm happy you are, Sebastian."

* * *

I never got a review for my trailer, so I presume no one wanted this story to continue. Unfortunately for those I decided to anyway because I enjoy writing it. So here is the first chapter of part two: A Kathryn Tale. Please review.


	33. The Talk The Baby Talk

"Eat it." Sebastian orders as I pick at my salad.

He sits across the table from me at a restaurant eating his chicken something or rather whilst I pick at my salad. He glares as I keep picking, I've eaten hardly any of it but I'm not really hungry.

"Kathryn, stop being all negative about your weight, you're fucking perfect as you are, you don't need to starve yourself."

"I'm just not hungry." I tell him, pushing away my barely touched plate.

"You barely ate last night, you didn't have breakfast, you have to be hungry."

"Well I'm not."

"Please eat."

"No and you can't make me."

He sighs dejectedly and continues to eat his plate of food in silence, I watch him carefully. He finally notices and looks up.

"Stop watching me."

"I wasn't watching you." I say, shying away.

"You were, you were looking at me eating. If you want some just ask." He says cutting off a bit of chicken and holding it up on the fork for me to eat.

"No. I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are. Now eat it."

"Oh fine." I say giving up and snatching the fork from him, placing the chicken in my mouth.

"See that wasn't so bad, now eat yours."

I pull my plate back towards me and start eating my salad just so Sebastian will shut up.

When we finish and Sebastian pays the check we walk out onto the street. As we start walking I see a familiar blonde haired hick not too far from us wearing a tacky cheap dress.

"Oh look who it is." I smile, Sebastian notices her too.

"Don't be a bitch Kathryn. I saw the way you made peace with her at our wedding."

"I was just being nice."

Annette looks up and sees us immediately, thinking that we haven't seen her she turns around quickly and starts to walk off. I laugh but Sebastian tells me off and runs to catch up to her. He finally is able to stop her and he waves me over. I roll my eyes but walk over anyway.

"Annette, how _pleasant_ to see you." I say, placing my arm around Sebastian's waist.

"So you really are married then? It wasn't some sick, twisted game you two were playing at to get a rise out of everyone?"

Sebastian laughs. "I'm actually quite offended by that Annette."

"I hoped as much." She smiles back.

"How have you been? It's been a few weeks since the wedding." Sebastian asks, my hand dips in the pocket of his jacket and pulls out his car keys.

"Really good actually, I met someone last week, he's quite amazing actually. He's an up and coming painter." She reveals.

Sebastian smiles and continues to chat with her. I fiddle with Sebastian's keys out of boredom, I really don't know what he sees in her. Sure, she's nice and all but you can't talk about anything decent with Annette.

"Well it's nice to see you to have a boring conversation but we must go."

"Nice to know you're still a bitch." Annette says.

"Nice to know you still care." I reply.

"Well, I guess we'll see you around." Sebastian says leaning into her to give her a hug.

"Would it be so much if I asked for a handshake? I know it's pushing it for a hug but we did make peace at your wedding." Annette says, extending her tackily manicured hand towards my own.

"I suppose not." I sigh and shake her hand.

"See you two around." She says slinking off in the distance.

"You're so rude, Kat."

"You love me." I smirk as we head to Sebastian's car.

"I know." He says kissing my forehead.

--

By the time Sebastian and I have arrived home, we're arguing again. It's a never ending thing between us really, we could be having sex one minute and then next we'll be arguing over how long he lasted or how good he really is.

"Why can't you just agree with me? I know you're not as cruel as people think you are."

"I don't agree with you because babies are disgusting. They cry and they stink and they vomit and are just over all disgusting. I will never agree to have a child with you or any other person because for one I have to be an oven for 9 months and two I then have to squeeze it's giant body out of my vagina. Now unless you're suddenly going to grow ovaries, a vagina and be able to produce eggs you can forget about your stupid baby." I exasperate towards Sebastian as I throw my bag on the table by the door.

"Look, I'm not saying now, two weeks, two months, two years, but one day you know? Wouldn't it be nice to have a little me running around?"

"Frankly, no it wouldn't. I have enough trouble dealing with your bratty ass."

He sighs rolling his blue eyes at me and sitting on the antique sofa I bought.

"So this is where the family name stops? At me. That's depressing."

"Sebastian, please. You have plenty of relatives with the same last name as you and to be honest, having the Valmont family name is a curse rather than a blessing. If we had a kid they'd have to grow up around children who's mother's you slept with and hell how will they know if their related to them or not? God only knows if you have a love child out there."

"You really think I'd be as careless as to get any other woman pregnant? Baby, you're the only one I want having my children." He grins childish as he lights a cigarette.

I sit beside my husband and pinch his cheeks lightly, taking his cigarette and placing it in my mouth. He watches carefully as I suck in the intoxicating smoke.

"Don't even think about it, Valmont." I say knowing that he'd do anything to get me pregnant including purposely using no condoms.

"Well it wouldn't be so hard…you're not on the pill anymore, I'm a ready, waiting and hot to go guy just itching to spread his-"

"If you do, God help the foetus that will grow inside me, Sebastian."

Sebastian just rolls his eyes and leaves the conversation at that. It's not the fact that I don't want a kid (Well some of it is), because a kid of my own would be kind of alright I think. But I just don't want to turn into my mother. I don't want the kid growing up resenting it's parents, or what if it has a disability…or there's problems with the birth. So much can go wrong.

He walks over to me as I stare out the living room window of the second floor. He languidly wraps his arms around my waist and places his head on my shoulder. I feel the frown on his stupid face.

"Kathryn-"

"No. No. No. Drop the baby talk."

"I wasn't going to say anything about that. I was going to suggest, as a loving, caring husband that you eat more. You've lost a lot of weight since we came back from our honeymoon. Baby you're wasting away to nothing."

"I am not. And so what if I've dropped a few? It's doing no harm to anyone."

"Except yourself. Not eating, throwing the little food you eat, back up. Its killing you. I love you Kathryn, and I'd like to keep you around for at least 10 more years."

"Sebastian." I sigh as I turn around to face him. Moments like this we are at complete ease. There are no walls to break down, no ice to melt and no façade to hold. Times like this I can be honest and open with Sebastian and know he won't laugh in my face. "I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon. I'm just killing a few pounds, I gained some whilst we were on holidays and I'd just really like to get back to my original weight."

He kisses my forehead softly and walks away, knowing he won't win this fight so there's no point arguing. I soon follow his lead and walk to our bedroom where I find him already asleep.

--

Three weeks after mine and Sebastian's talk about having a baby I arrive at Blaine's house for some much needed cocaine and a catch up on all the gossip.

"Blaine fucking Tuttle, where the hell are you?" I ask, hanging my coat on his coat rack and making my way upstairs to his bedroom.

On my way I hear his door open and watch as a scantily clad male walks out. I stop in my tracks and look the male over. Blue eyes, blonde hair, chiselled abs and a great tan. Figures he's gay.

I seem to startle him because he half jumps back when he meets me on the stairs.

"Oh, I didn't know we had company." He says in a hot British voice that reminds me of when I was with my British boyfriend.

"Why, hello there. Friend of Blaine's?" I query.

"Yes, yes I am."

"I'm-"

"Devastatingly beautiful." He cuts in, kissing my right hand.

"I was going to say Kathryn Merteuil but that works too." I giggle like a school girl.

"Charlie Stifle."

"Oh Charlie! Come back here you naughty boy!" Blaine yells out before he notices I'm there. "Kathryn." He blushes.

I walk down the stairs and make my way to Blaine's familiar kitchen. I take out three glasses and pour a small amount of vodka in each and then fill the rest of the glass with orange juice. Charlie and Blaine walk over and pick up a glass each.

"You couldn't have called before dropping by?" Blaine says raising his eyebrows at me.

"Slipped my mind."

"Obviously." He replies sarcastically.

"Blaine, how come you never introduced me to Kathryn? I could have taken her out to dinner by now and shown her a good time."

"Excuse me?" I ask, confused on why he would do that.

"Oh, he's bi-sexual, Kathryn. Bats for both teams."

"Oh well in that case." I say hopping off my stool.

"She's married." Blaine cuts in, downing the rest of his vodka and orange juice. "And he's mine." Blaine says as he looks at me.

"Oh, well that's too bad then. Who's the lucky guy?" Charlie asks sipping at his drink whilst I top my half glass full of vodka.

Blaine replies to Charlie before I even have the chance.

"Sebastian fucking Valmont."

"Sebastian Valmont? Heir to the Valmont enterprise kingdom, billionaire son of Edward Valmont?"

"The exact one." I say.

"How on God's Earth did you catch him? I heard he was a playboy."

"Oh he was." Blaine interjects.

"Was being the term used. We have a history together."

"She means to say that she was actually related to him for many years…you know, step-brother/step-sister."

Charlie's eyes widen and he laughs. "Oh you're Kathryn Merteuil, I read a lot about you over in Britain. You modelled for awhile there didn't you?" He asks, finally finishing off his drink.

"Yes. I'm that Kathryn Merteuil."

Charlie and I exchange conversations for awhile. We talk about a lot of things, mostly models and the British country side. Blaine clears his throat and gives me that look that he wants me to leave.

"I'll go after I get my stuff."

"How much today? You know Sebastian told me to refuse you as a customer." Blaine calls out as he rummages through draws in the room adjacent to his kitchen.

"Yes, well he's being a bit of a pain in my ass lately. Did you know he wants kids? Yes, fucking, bratty, snotty nose kids."

"I know. He told me. I told him he had no chance of convincing you to have one with him."

"You're right."

"I know I am." Blaine says, reappearing in the room with a few plastic baggies in his hands.

"This one I think." I smirk, taking the larger bag of fine white powder.

"Sebastian will kill me if he finds out about this, so don't go saying anything. I'd like my dick in place for when he finally realises it's cock he's been wanting forever and not pussy."

"That'll never happen." I laugh, pouring some powder on the kitchen bench and lining it up into 3 lines.

"Do you have to here Kathryn? That shit gets everywhere."

I smile up at both Blaine and Charlie before snorting the three lines of coke with ease. Charlie seems speechless at my drug habits.

"You must be a real pro, Kathryn." He says.

"You could say that."

"Or you could say she's an addict, either way she's going…now." Blaine tells both of us as he grabs my arm and pulls me to the door.

"Okay, okay. Keep your panties on, Tuttle." I look back at Charlie who's waving at me. "Nice meeting you!" I yell back as I leave Blaine's house.

--

When I walk in the door of my house I spot three things wrong with it immediately. One, there's an ugly looking painting hanging on the wall above my antique sofa. Two, there's a scruffy man standing by the fireplace. And finally three, Annette Hargrove is sitting on _my_ antique sofa.

I go unnoticed at first as I place my keys on the table by the door and hang my coat on the coat rack. Sebastian seems to be engaged in conversation with the scruffy looking male as Annette sips something from a glass (Which I would first guess as Vodka, but it's Annette, so water is a safe bet).

My heels clack on the polished floor of my home and finally Sebastian looks across the room to me and smiles adoringly. He waves his hand at me as if to come over and I immediately know he's started talking about me.

Annette pleasantly smiles at me from the couch as I make my way over to Sebastian. I greet him with a kiss on the cheek and link my arm in his.

"Carter Wright this is Kathryn Merteuil, my wife. Kathryn, this is Carter, Annette's-"

"Oh the up and coming painter she met. It's somewhat pleasant to meet you I guess. Oh and hello over there Annette, how not nice to see you again."

Sebastian apologizes for my rudeness, telling Carter that I'm always like that it's my way of showing affection but he's wrong. I just really dislike Annette and well Carter's not doing much for me either.

"…you know how women are." Sebastian says. "Would you like another drink?"

"Sure, if you don't mind." Carter replies handing Sebastian his empty glass.

Sebastian takes Carter's glass and Annette's on the way out as I sit on the sofa opposite Annette.

"Drinking the hard stuff Hargrove? My, haven't you come a long way." I tease knowing very well she's not drinking vodka.

"Actually Kathryn it's water." She says taking the bait. "I'm not allowed to have alcohol."

"And why is that? Daddy made you swear to God? Please, Annette, you're an Adult you can do as you please. Take me for example, I went and married my step-brother."

Sebastian returns with Carter and Annette's refilled drinks and then hands me one of my own. I smell the liquid first and smile when I realise he's given me straight vodka.

"Kathryn, Annette's drinking water because she's pregnant." Sebastian informs me, obviously having overheard our banter.

"Sorry? Pregnant?"

"Yes. Carter's the father. It was such a surprise, I went to the doctors today for a check up and he told me I was pregnant." Annette beams.

"Out of wedlock…with a man you barely know."

"We're engaged now." Carter says.

Sebastian eyes me, I can read his mind. Telling me telepathically that if Annette can do it then so can I but I'm telling him telepathically right back that he's stupid for ever thinking I want a kid.

Annette shows me the small ring on her finger, it's probably worth an eighth of what my own was worth but for something as inexpensive as it probably was it's not half bad. She starts babbling on about how they're going to get an apartment together not too far from here and how they've planned to get married 3 months from now. Really she's such a bore.

"You are both invited of course, I was actually wondering Kathryn if you'd be one of my bridesmaids. I don't have many female friends, a best friend from back in Kansas and a girl I still keep in touch with from school, but I'd really like a third bridesmaid and you popped into my head."

"Me?" I laugh.

How stupid is she? I absolutely hated her guts. Doesn't she remember that I tried to have Sebastian killed just so she couldn't have him?

"Yes. You. I know, hard to believe. Please, Kathryn?"

Sebastian gives me one of his famous looks. I have to say yes now.

"Oh fine. Only because I'm trying to be nice. But I swear Hargrove if you put me in anything that's puffy and horrible looking I'll slit your throat myself."

Everyone laughs as if it's a joke, but I wasn't joking.

"This is going to be so great!" She squeals in excitement.

"Totally." I say sarcastically.

You can imagine how excited I am. About as excited as my mother was when I said my first word.

* * *

No one has reviewd my new part two :(


	34. Congratulations

Sebastian stirs beside me, I can feel the heat radiate off his naked body onto mine

Sebastian stirs beside me, I can feel the heat radiate off his naked body onto mine. I turn to my side and watch as his face continually contorts, my hand reaches out to touch him and I almost feel as though I'm being burnt by his skin. My hand becomes drenched with sweat and I become worried.

"Sebastian?" I whisper softly, running my fingers through his soft curls. "Seb, wake up baby." I kiss his ear lobe.

His body jerks suddenly and his eyes pop open, they're so distant and glassy I feel as if he isn't even there. My hand runs over his face, his hand goes over mine and we smile together.

"Kathryn." He whispers in disbelief.

"I'm here, Seb. Always here."

Sebastian's eyes close again and he lets out a soft sigh and runs his hands through my hair.

"Don't ever go away." He tells me, kissing my forehead.

I smile and as my mouth moves to his, I feel this sudden urge to vomit. I pull back.

"Are you okay?" He asks, brushing his thumb over my cheek.

"I don't…I…don't feel…" Suddenly I pull back the covers of the bed and get up and run to the bathroom. I hear Sebastian trailing after me as I lean my head over the toilet bowl and throw up last night's dinner. Sebastian rushes to my side and pulls back my hair as I helplessly regurgitate my food.

"That's it baby. Just let it come out." Sebastian says, rubbing my back.

I keep throwing up for a few minutes before it finally stops and I flush the toilet and lean against the wall. Sebastian passes me my toothbrush and a glass of water, I take the items thankfully and make quick work of removing the taste of vomit from my mouth.

"Do you feel okay?" He asks gently.

"Not really." I tell him, still feeling the urge to vomit.

"Get dressed. I'll take you to the hospital." He says.

"Don't be and idiot, Sebastian. I'm not dying. But thank you."

He picks me up in his arms and places me back on the bed and under the warmth of the covers.

"Tomorrow, you're going to the doctors." He says, kissing my forehead.

I close my eyes and try to settle the sick feeling stirring in the pit of my stomach. I feel better once Sebastian climbs in next to be and wraps his arms around me, holding me close and whispering things into my ear. I'm too tired and feeling too sick to call him a pussy.

--

I wake up, still feeling nauseas, I make it to the bathroom just in time as I throw up the contents of any other food I had left in me into the toilet bowl. I hear Sebastian's footsteps and then I see him in the corner of my eye dressed in a suit and looking at me sympathetically.

"I made a doctor's appointment for you in an hour."

My head lifts slowly and I look at him.

"Where are you going?" I ask, wiping my mouth on toilet paper and brushing my teeth.

"I have a business meeting today. I'd cancel it so I could come with you but it's important. I've arranged for Blaine to go with you to the doctor's."

"I'm not a child Sebastian."

"I know. But I'm worried. Let me worry. Let me be a husband."

I start to nod before I turn around and vomit more. He laughs and brushes my hair back from my face. It takes me almost the full hour to dress, every so often vomiting but eventually I get there right before Blaine knocks on my bedroom door.

"You here, Kathryn?" He calls.

"Yeah." I sigh. "Unfortunately."

He laughs when he sees me. My face is pale, I have no make-up on, my hair looks like it hasn't been brushed and I'm dressed in the loosest fitting jeans I could find and a t-shirt.

"Come on Princess, let's get you better."

He offers me a joint on the way to the doctor's but I tell him no as I lean against the door inside the car and wish I was dead. Seriously, I felt so shit.

We get in the door and take a seat and not even 30 seconds later my name is called. Blaine tells me to go on and I follow the woman doctor into her office and take a seat.

"So, Kathryn. What seems to be the problem?"

"I feel so sick. Ugh." I tell her. "I'm vomiting continually, I feel nauseas and just overall shit."

"Have you had any flu symptoms? High temperature maybe?"

"No. I woke up last night and my husband and I were kissing and I just suddenly felt sick and the need to vomit."

"Are you pregnant?" She asks blatantly, jotting down notes.

I laugh and then excuse myself. "Sorry. No. I'm not. Sebastian and I aren't trying for kids."

"Do you mind if I take some blood?" She asks, getting out a needle.

"Of course not." I smile half heartedly as she pokes the needle into me and takes blood.

"I'll send the blood to the pathology lab now and I should have results tomorrow morning. If it's anything serious I'll call you, if not just come back if you keep vomiting."

"Thanks."

Blaine meets me outside, he's casually smoking a cigarette when I come out, I snatch it off him and take a drag, passing it back to him and going to my limo. He gets in.

"So what was the doc's prognosis? Cancer? Tumour?"

"She didn't know. She took blood and that was all. Actually she asked me if I was pregnant, I laughed in her face."

"Ha ha. She obviously doesn't know who you are."

"Obviously."

--

Sebastian gets home late, I hear his briefcase slam on the floor and he curses. I get up from my seat on the sofa and stand in the middle of the room. He looks at me and smiles.

"What did the doctor say?" He asks, standing 3 feet away from me.

"She took blood. Told me to come in if I keep feeling like this, otherwise she'll call me if it's serious."

"You probably just have a 24 hour thing."

"Yeah. How was your day?"

"Shit. We lost the Tokyo partnership because some fickle idiot forgot to tell me the new appointment time. I spent an hour thinking I was waiting for them when they were waiting for me at a different restaurant."

"Did you fire them?" I smirk.

"Yes." He breathes as my hand runs down his chest.

"I missed you today. Let's do something tomorrow, yeah?"

"What do you want to do baby?"

"Can we go see a movie?"

He nods and kisses me softly, his arms wrap around my body and he swiftly picks me up and carries me all the way upstairs, shredding my clothing as we get closer to the bedroom.

--

The two people on the movie screen start kissing and fondling each other and I feel Sebastian's hand move to my knee where he slides it up slowly until he reaches my panties. He thinks I'll swat him away but I just slide my hand up with his and shove his fingers in my pussy. He gasps instead of I and I look at him with an evil smirk.

He mouths slut at me and I just mouth bastard back at him.

My phone starts buzzing, we're interrupted and I look to the caller ID. Unknown. I tell Sebastian I'll be right back and rush outside the cinema to answer my call.

"Kathryn speaking." I answer.

"Kathryn, this is Doctor Patricia, you saw me yesterday?"

"Oh yeah. Hi. Do you have the results?"

"As a matter of fact I do. Would you like to come in tomorrow?"

"I'm busy." I tell her, kind of worried of what she's about to say but I still lie to her and tell her I'm busy.

"Well I'd rather deliver this in person, but if you don't mind I could tell you now."

"Not at all. Am I dying? Is it cancer?" I ask, jumping to assumptions.

She laughs on the other end and stops me. "It's good news. You're pregnant, just after 8 weeks along. Congratulations. Have a good night."

The doctor hangs up, I stand in my same position. My mouth is slightly open and I feel so still. Pregnant. Child. Kid. Pregnant. No. I can't be, can I? I mean, I knew I hadn't gotten my period for 2 months, but I just assumed it was to do with my eating habits, it certainly wasn't unusual for me to skip a period every now and then.

I see Sebastian's head pop around the door but I can't even find the words to call him over. He smiles and walks over to me and kisses my head.

"Bad news?" He says.

Yes. "No. The doctor called to tell me I'm all clear. 24 hour thing like you said." I half smile, lying to him like back when we were kids. Oh god. Kids.

"That's great. Shall we go celebrate? Maybe a few imported bottles of French champagne?" He grins, leading me out of the movie complex.

"I'm feeling kind of tired. Can we just go home?" I ask, looking straight ahead and not in his eyes. I'm not even sure if I can lie to him straight faced anymore.

"Sure babe. Whatever you want."

We get in his jag and my hand subconsciously goes over my stomach, he looks at me weirdly as he steers out into the street.

"You okay?" He asks, averting his eyes from the road for a second.

"Yeah. Fine. Just fine."

His hand places over mine on my stomach. I cringe. A kid. A fucking kid.

Two choices Kathryn, to abort or not to abort?

--

"Blaine I fucking need to talk to you. Where the fuck are you? Pick up your fucking stupid fucking phone will you? Call me back when you get this please. I'm desperate." I say into my phone as I leave another message on Blaine's cell phone.

I pace back and forwards, I have been doing so for hours. Sebastian's gone to work again and Blaine was the first person I could think of talking to. He's not answering. He's just not answering.

The doorman enters the room. "Miss Kathryn, there's a Miss Annette Hargrove at the door for you."

"Tell her to fuck off…no wait. Let her in." I change my mind suddenly.

I keep pacing and it's only when she clears her throat I notice she's standing in the door way dressed in a pale blue pencil skirt and white shirt that actually looks half decent on her. She better live it up while she can, she's going to be fat soon. Oh god. So am I.

"Hargrove, what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Clearly." She laughs. "What are you doing? You're making me nauseous."

"Pacing. Pacing helps deal with stress and anger and just over all feeling. Blaine's not answering, I'm about to murder him."

"Something on your mind?" She asks as she takes a seat, resting the bridal magazines she has in her hands beside her.

"No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes, but I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's personal. Plus, you're Annette Hargrove and if I told you, you're likely to go blab to Sebastian."

She laughs and shakes her head at me. "Do you have no faith in me at all? I can keep a secret, even from Sebastian. You can tell me. Trust me it helps to get things off your chest."

I bite my nails absentmindedly, chipping away all the nail polish my manicurist had worked hard on. Annette observes me, her staring itches my skin. She's not intimidating but I was so fragile and I caved.

"I'mpregnant." It comes out in one word rather than two and she stops flicking through her magazines and looks up at me slowly.

I freeze, stop breathing. I can't believe I just told Annette fucking Hargrove I was pregnant.

"It is Sebastian's right?" She asks.

"Excuse me? You're in my house and you accuse me of cheating on him?"

"I didn't accuse you of anything Kathryn but given your history it was only right to ask. It's his right?"

I nod and shove her magazines aside, sitting beside her on the sofa and tapping my fingers on my bare legs. She watches me curiously for many minutes.

"It's not such a bad thing you know? Children are God's gift. They can bring so much happiness to someone. Sebastian wants children doesn't he? It'll make him happy."

"You don't get it Annette. I don't want children."

"Why not?"

I laugh at myself, why the hell am I sharing this with Kansas?

"Because I'm afraid I'll turn out like my mother, okay? I'm afraid my kid will grow up to hate me and Sebastian just as much as I hated my mother."

"You'll never be anything like her, Kathryn. You're so much better than her, look how much you've changed."

"Annette, if I decide…well…to um…"

"Have an abortion." She says, sighing. Being a lady of God and all.

"You won't tell Sebastian right? You won't tell him I was pregnant with his child and killed it."

"Of course not. But I am religious and I believe that everyone deserves a chance Kathryn, even if you don't end up keeping the child in the long run. Wouldn't it be better to be a surrogate mother and give another woman a chance at motherhood then killing a child?"

"It's a foetus." I say blandly.

"It's a life none the less. It breathes. It eats. It's human and it's murder." She says plainly.

I bite my lip and pick up one of her magazines. She resumes to her one and folds the corners of pages where she likes dresses. I flick through, not even paying attention. My mind has so much more to think about then stupid wedding dresses.

--

Annette has long gone by the time Blaine finally rings back. I answer with a gruff finally, he gets his panties in a twist and huffs loudly.

"If you're going to be so rude I don't know why I bothered calling back. I could be fucking my boyfriend right now you know?"

"Sorry." I sigh, admiring a glass of scotch I filled earlier. Of course, I haven't drunk any of it yet, but I'm so tempted.

It's late, probably 10 or 11 at night, Sebastian called around 7 and said he won't be home until midnight at the earliest. I haven't eaten and I know I should but I haven't.

There's a pause between the both of us and I start to cry softly a first I don't think Blaine hears me but as I sniffle and sob he starts to notice.

"Are you crying?" He asks in disbelief.

"No." I tell him sternly.

"What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"I can't tell you." I sob. "I fucking can't tell you."

"Kathryn you know I'm not going to tell Sebastian if that's what you're worried about."

My crying gets louder and soon I'm choking back tears and sniffling and Blaine's trying to calm me down.

"Please don't cry, Kathryn. Just tell me what's wrong maybe I can help?"

"Unless you can turn back time to I don't know, like 8 and a half weeks ago then you can't."

He takes awhile to think about it and then he gasps.

"Oh my God. You're pregnant."

I don't even tell him if he's right because even if I lie and say no he'll still think I am. He sighs loudly and I give a little sniffle, wiping my eyes and running my hands through my hair.

"I don't know what to do, Blaine. I was so fucking confused when you wouldn't answer your phone that I revealed I was pregnant to Annette. Can you believe that?"

He laughs. "To Kansas? Jesus Kathryn were you drunk?"

"No. I haven't drunken anything since I found out."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" He asks gently.

"I'm seriously contemplating keeping the thing. Am I insane Tuttle, I mean for wanting to keep it?"

"Not at all. But I think even if you decide not to, you should tell Sebastian. If he finds out that you were pregnant and aborted the baby he'll be furious and it won't be something he will easily forgive you on when you shake your ass out in front of him this time."

"I know."

"Look, Kathryn, I'm sorry but I really have to go. I really suggest you talk to Sebastian about this. I love you Princess."

"Yeah. You too Tuttle."

I don't wait for Sebastian to get home. I'm in bed and almost asleep by the time I hear him get into bed. He climbs in and whispers in my ear to ask if I'm awake but I ignore him. I feel him smile against my ear as he kisses it softly and begins to feel his hands down to my waist.

"Sebastian don't." I whisper, moving his hand from my waist.

"So you are awake."

"I am. But I don't feel like fucking you."

"Well that's okay baby, I'll fuck you, just sit back and relax." He smirks, reaching up and under my nightgown to my panties.

"Sebastian, I said don't!" I yell.

He relinquishes.

"What's up your ass?"

"Not you that's for sure. I'm tired from your stupid ex-girlfriend coming over here filling my head with her horrible wedding ideas. So fuck off, not tonight."

He mumbles something but I ignore him and close my eyes, blinking back tears.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews! Love you all.


	35. Mistakes

It's been a week since I found out. You don't know what a week does to someone until you go through something like this. Sebastian suspects something is up, every time he's offered me a drink I make an excuse but he's caught on and he knows I'm up to something.

I really don't know what to do, I'm fucking so confused about everything. Annette's been over here almost every day keeping me sane strangely enough. She brings over stupid wedding plans and we sit for hours deciding dress colours and table cloths. She's somewhat comforting and maybe I'm a little glad she's been here.

Blaine on the other hand, he's called me every few hours even though he had his boyfriend over. He called me at 2am the other night because he knew I'd be up and he said that he woke up and just thought of me and he didn't even care that he had to get up in a few hours to see his boyfriend off, he called and we stayed on the phone for an hour.

Sebastian still doesn't know and each day that goes by I want to tell him. We argue about everything and sometimes I'll want to yell it at him so he'll just shut up but I haven't. I'm not stupid.

Annette walks in the door freely, today she's wearing black skinny legged jeans and a white singlet. She smiles and brings over a cup of hot coffee and bagel even though she knows I'll probably just refuse to eat it. I smile back, it's my way of saying thank you without saying it.

"You should eat. Even if it's not for you, Kathryn." She says.

I listen to her for some strange reason and take small bites out of the bagel as my cell phone rings. It's Blaine of course.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey, how are you this morning?"

"Fine. Annette's here. We're doing wedding stuff."

"Oh I bet you're having a grand ol' time picking out overalls."

"Shut up Tuttle."

He pauses and I know what he wants to say.

"No. I haven't. Not yet. I can't."

"Princess, you know I love you more than I can ever say but if you don't tell him soon he's just going to find out and be angry. You know how he gets."

"I know. I will tell him, Blaine. I just need it to be right."

"Okay. Well I'll call you in a few hours. I was just checking up. Have fun trying to make hay bales look stylish." He says cheekily before hanging up.

Annette doesn't even ask because she knows who it was. She just passes me a magazine with red circles around things and questions me with her eyes.

"I like the waistline and the trail, the cut won't do much for your breasts though, if anything it'll make you seem flat." I tell her.

"Well what if we use that waistline and trail with…" She flicks back a few pages. "That heart shape chest piece and…" She skips to the back of the book. "The skirt design on this one?"

I match the idea in my head, trying to picture it on Annette and when I do I feel proud of her. Because weeks ago she would have settled for a white plain K-mart brand dress with a horrible shape. Now she's on to bigger things, matching ideas from one dress to another and another.

"I'm proud of you Hargrove. I've taught you well. Let's go to my personal designer with this idea and see what he can do for you." I say, getting up.

Just as we're at the door Sebastian walks in and smiles at the two of us. He comes over and kisses my head, his hand brushing over my stomach as he passes me to place his briefcase on the table.

"Where are you two ladies off too?"

"To my designer. Annette has finally decided what dress she wants."

"I'd never thought I'd live to see the day where Kathryn Merteuil and Annette Hargrove are friends."

"Friends is stretching it Valmont. We're merely associates. Think of me as her personal designer and hired bridesmaid." I tell him, admiring his handsome face.

"Well, whatever you'd like to call it."

"Are you home for the rest of the day?" I ask, thinking maybe I can take Annette to my designer and come back home to talk to Sebastian.

"No, sorry. My client's wife went into labour just as we got in the board room this morning and he had to leave, so he's going to call me around 2 and see if we can't catch a late lunch."

Annette looks at me and then at Sebastian.

"Why can't he just cancel it for another day? Child birth should be something amazing shared between the two parents. I think he should be with his wife before, during and afterwards and not jet off after she's pushed the baby out." Annette says clearly meddling.

"That's practically what I told him! I told him we'll just make it for another day. I said that children are a gift and if my wife was pregnant I wouldn't even be at work, I'd take the whole 9 months off to be on her beck and call."

I cringe and bite my lip.

"Well, you never know. Maybe one day." Annette smirks. "Let's go Kathryn, I'm meeting Carter in 2 hours."

I wave goodbye and he smiles, I feel so guilty.

--

After Annette ditched me for Carter I went shopping for awhile. Amazingly you can buy a lot in just a few hours. I bought two new dresses, a pencil skirt, a few singlets, four pairs of shoes and some new lingerie even though I know I won't be able to fit into it in a few months.

My phone rings as I'm walking along the sidewalk and I expect it to be Blaine so I answer.

"Blaine, I'm fine. Shopping can do a lot for the mind." I smile, checking my newly manicured fingernails.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian.

"Oh, hey. I thought it was Blaine. He's been calling uh all morning."

"Why?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

I can hear him smirk.

"I must say you look fucking delicious from here. If I hadn't already had lunch, I would eat you for lunch." He says seductively.

"You're watching me?" I laugh. "Geez, stalker much?"

"I just finished my late lunch with my client, I was wondering if you'd finished with Annette yet so we could maybe spend some time together, I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"I've finished but I still have some things to do. If you're home early tonight maybe we can spend some time together. I have to go Sebastian, call waiting. See you at home."

He laughs and I finally spot him outside a café. "I love you."

I hang up and wave at him, turning on my heel in the other direction and dialling Blaine's number.

"Hello Mrs Valmont." He answers.

"Tuttle, I need to see you are you busy?"

"Not at all, Princess."

"Well I'm coming over. I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Bye."

--

I arrive at Blaine's not too long after talking to Sebastian, naturally I walk straight in and find Blaine smoking a joint in his kitchen.

"Hey." I say, standing a fair distance from him.

He looks puzzled at first as to why I'm so far away but then he get it. "Oh right, the kid. Sorry." He extinguishes the joint and comes over to me.

"How's baby Valmont?" He says in this sickly cutesy voice.

"Fine." I tell him.

I start pacing and picking at my fingernails, he watches me and finally stops me.

"Stop. You're ruining my carpet not to mention your shoes and it's causing you stress which can ultimately lead to a miscarriage."

"Sorry." I say, biting my lip. "What the hell am I supposed to tell Sebastian tonight?" I ask.

"You're going to tell him tonight?"

"Yeah. He's coming home at a half decent hour tonight. I thought maybe I should tell him."

"Well good for you Princess. It's about fucking time."

"I just don't know what to say."

Blaine brushes back hair from my face and kisses my forehead.

"Just tell him the truth, Kat. You're pregnant, his child of course and you're keeping it."

"What if he gets angry because I didn't tell him earlier?"

"He won't. He wants a baby."

"Okay. Alright. I should go home and wait for him right?"

"Yes but stop stressing. It'll be fine."

--

I get home and Sebastian's already there. He's sitting in the living room reading one of his treasured books. He looks adorable from here, his black rimmed glasses perched on his nose, deep in concentration.

He can sense me and he looks up. I smile and walk over to him. I sit beside him and curl up next to him, my head rests on his shoulder as he kisses my forehead.

"How was the rest of your day?" He whispers.

"Fine. I went to Blaine's. How was yours?"

"Yeah, alright. Managed to get some paperwork done."

Sebastian places his book on the table next to the sofa and gets up.

"What do you want for dinner? I was thinking we go out, see a movie, come home late, I don't have to work tomorrow."

"Sebastian we need to talk." I tell him, getting up and joining him in the dining room.

I grab hold of his hand and kiss each of his fingers.

"This doesn't sound good. Are we breaking up?"

I laugh half heartedly and rub my thumb against his cheek.

"Sebastian, I'm…well I'm…I'm trying to tell you that…"

"That you had sex with another man?" He says with a grimace on his face.

"No." I scowl, slapping his chest. "I can't believe you'd even think that! I'm pregnant you jackass."

His mouth opens slightly and he looks like he's been hit by a car (Excuse the reference to past memories).

"What? Are you joking?"

"No. I found out a week ago."

Sebastian's pretty, perfectly sculptured lips turn into a wide grin and he picks me up and captures my lips into a steamy kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist and smile into the kiss as does he. He eventually surrenders my mouth and holds me tighter.

"I love you Kathryn Valmont. I fucking love you."

"You too Sebastian."

He gives a little yell of joy and places me on the table. I laugh at him as he dances idiotically.

"How far are you along?" He asks, finally stopping and taking a deep breath.

"Just over 9 weeks."

He places his large hand over my flat stomach and rubs it gently.

"I can't wait to tell everyone. Annette will be ecstatic for us."

"Um, actually Annette already knows." I reveal. He steps back.

"What?"

"I told Annette. I didn't know what to do and I was so confused, it just came out. Blaine knows too and I'm pretty sure Carter as well."

"You told everyone but me that you were pregnant with our child?"

"Sebastian, please don't be angry. I was confused and I wasn't even sure I was going to keep it."

"Going to keep it? You were going to get an abortion without my knowledge?" He says, his voice rising.

"Yes but Blaine talked me out of it."

"And if Blaine hadn't have? You would have just gone ahead and done it and never told me about it?"

"Sebastian." I say, hopping of the table and placing my hand on his cheek.

"Don't. Do not Sebastian me, Kathryn." He says, swiping away my hand.

"I didn't do it. I still have the baby."

"That's not the point!" He yells. "You were going to murder our child and never tell me, it's like you don't even care about what I think Kathryn."

"I knew if I told you and I did decide I didn't want to keep it you'd refuse to let me do so. My only chance of having an abortion was keeping it secret from you. But I didn't do it!" I yell back, tears welling up.

"I can't see you right now. I-I-I just can't. I'm going out. I'll be home when I get home."

He picks up his coat and storms out of the house. I drop to my knees and sob to myself.

--

My phone vibrates against the cold marble of the floor. I stretch to reach it from my position against the wall and read the caller ID. Blaine Tuttle it says.

"Hi."

"Kathryn, where's Sebastian right now? Please tell me he's in bed with you naked and sleeping." He says, I can barely hear him over the loud music.

"No. I told him. I told him how I told Annette and Carter and about the abortion I was going to get and he got angry and said he couldn't see me right now and walked out. I don't know where he is."

"Shit." Blaine curses. "Shit. You're going to kill him." He cringes.

"Why? What's happened?" I asked alarmed.

"Just come down to the club that we usually go to." He says before hanging up.

I get up and order the driver to take me to the club. When I get there, there is no hesitation as to let me in. The security guard knows my face and he greets me and lets me through the velvet rope. I hurry in and immediately spot Blaine near the entrance waiting for me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You're going to castrate him, shove his balls down his throat and then kill him." Blaine says.

"Why!?" I yell.

Blaine lifts his arm and points to one of those funky couches clubs have. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the change of lighting over there but when they do I know what I'm looking at and why Blaine said I'm going to kill him.

"I'm sorry Princess. I wouldn't have called but-"

"Don't be sorry. He's going to be sorry." I say, walking off and storming over to Sebastian.

Blaine runs after me, trying to stop me but even when he grabs my arm and attempts to hold me back he doesn't succeed. I stop right in front of Sebastian but he's too busy molesting the girl on the couch with him to notice me so I kick his leg, the same one that was injured after his taxi incident.

"Ah fuck!" He yells.

"Ah fuck!?" I yell back, questioning him as I kick him again.

His eyes look up in shock and I see him visibly gulp and get up.

"Kathryn. W-w-what are you doing here?" He asks.

"What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here Sebastian!"

The girl looks at me and possessively places her hand on his thigh.

"And you sweetheart need to learn to keep your hands off married men." I scowl, pulling his left hand up and shoving it in his face.

"Married? He ain't wearing no ring honey." She says.

I look at Sebastian's ring finger and discover she's right. He's not wearing his ring. I throw his hand down and for seconds I can't think of anything to yell at him.

"I'm s-sorry Kathryn. Please lets just go we can work this out at home."

"You bastard!" I yell, tears freely streaming down my face. I don't care that people have started staring or that the music has stopped or that I'm crying in front of people. "You lying, cheating fucking bastard. I'm having your fucking kid, Sebastian! I'm having your fucking kid!" I yell, Blaine grabs me around the waist and holds me back as I attempt to attack him.

"I'm sorry." He says, clearly holding back his own tears.

"I'm sorry for ever marrying you! Mother was right. Once a lying cheating asshole, always a lying cheating asshole. Don't come home tonight Sebastian because you won't be allowed in and if you even attempt to do so I'll call security."

"Kathryn please, we can work this out."

"No. No we can't, Sebastian. I'm moving out. Tomorrow I'll be gone, only then you can go home."

I turn around into Blaine's arms, he rubs his hand along my back.

"She's fucking pregnant with your child Sebastian. She doesn't even want it but she's still keeping it for you. Grow up some alright? You're lucky she even fucking married you after all the shit you pulled when you guys were younger." Blaine says.

He takes me outside and I breakdown. I breakdown in front of all the fucking pathetic losers outside. My legs give and I collapse in Blaine's arms right there, sobbing in front of every loser there.

"Kathryn I'm here. Come on. Let's get you home." He says, waving my limousine over.

In the corner of my eye I see Sebastian rush out of the club but I'm already in the limo by then.

"Kathryn wait! I'm sorry."

I bury my head into Blaine's chest and wet his shirt with my tears. He runs his fingers through my hair and on my back.

We get to my house and he walks me inside and up to my bedroom. He undresses me and dresses me in a nightgown tentatively.

"Do you want me to stay? I don't mind, really."

"No. Please, just go. I need to be alone. I'll just see you tomorrow."

He nods and just as he's walking out the door he stops and turns back. "You can move into my house, Kathryn. I have a spare bedroom."

I nod and he finally leaves me to myself. Once I'm sure he's gone I get up and go into the bathroom. My make-up had ran down my cheeks and my eyes were puffy and red. I bent down into the toilet and threw up my days food. Over and over I stuck my fingers down my throat until blood started to show. My throat was sore but I kept going.

Eventually I stopped crying and throwing up and layed on the cold tiles and fell asleep.

* * *

Sorry for the wait guys, stuff happens. Enjoy this and drop a review.


	36. Thirty Six

My hands run through my messy hair as I watch distantly from the balcony of mine and Sebastian's room, the driver take numerous suitcases out to my limo. I'm dressed and ready to go. I have been since 6 this morning. It had dawned on me that I never gave Sebastian a time when he could come home and knowing him he'd come home early. So I had showered, dressed and packed my things ready to go and called Blaine an hour ago and told him I'd be on my way soon.

I exasperate and glide my hand over my Versace clothed stomach. I turn around and close the glass doors to the balcony and look around the room to see if I've forgotten anything important. My eyes set on a photo of me and Sebastian at our wedding and I feel so much hatred run through my veins. I pick up a black marker lying on the desk and take the picture out of the frame and set it on the desk. On it I write;

Dear Sebastian. That was the happiest day of my life. All I want from you from now on is to leave me alone and I'll stay happy. Thank you for knocking me up and breaking my heart.

Kathryn.

I set the photograph on his desk with my wedding ring and leave the room. I pass every picture we've hung on the walls from recent to past and then I pass the room he wanted our first born to have when he was trying to convince me he wanted children. I close the door and venture onto the first floor living room.

My heart breaks when I see a picture of us from our honeymoon. We were lying on a beach and I was just so happy I couldn't stop smiling. He kissed me surprisingly and for minutes we sat there with our lips together and staring into each other's eyes. A person walking by had noticed us and taken a picture, later he found us and gave us the picture and told us he'd never seen two people so in love.

I place the photo face down on the piano just as I hear the door open and a pair of shoes tap on the ground. I know those shoes and they're not Blaine's. I stop and stare at the wall in front of me just waiting for him to say something to me.

"Please don't go. We can work this out. I love you, Kathryn."

"We can't and I won't try." I tell him turning around. "Betrayal is possibly the worst thing you could have done to me Sebastian."

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid, stupid mistake. I was furious at you."

"And now I am at you. Please don't make this harder than it is, Sebastian."

"If it's so hard then why leave? You obviously still love me."

"I do. But I'm not going to live with a man who when furious at me will go and cheat on me. I will not raise a child in that environment. Look what it did to us? My mother was constantly cheating on your father, they always fought and look how it fucked us up?"

"You'd rather raise a child on your own with a gay man then with your husband who loves you?"

"Yes. I would."

I walk past him, he grabs my arm and I slap him. It's visible that I'm crying and I'm hurt and he knows it.

"Don't touch me. Do not ever touch me!"

"Kathryn we're having a child together."

"No. No we're not. I'm having a child, you're merely a sperm donor in all of this."

"You can't do this to me. I have rights to that child."

"Yes you do. I'll send you ultrasound photos, I'll tape the birth and once the child is born you can have visitation rights but I will not let you be apart of my life anymore. You can expect divorce papers in the next few weeks."

I walk out and into my limo. Generally I feel ill, sick to my stomach and just plain horrid. My stomach hurts, I clench my fists as I start to cry.

--

My limo pulls up outside Blaine's house, I see him on his balcony waiting my arrival. The driver opens my door, I'm still crying and in my fury when the driver asks what I want done with my bags I yell at him.

"I don't fucking care! Just do your job you incompetent fool!"

He relents from my fury. Blaine races out and places his arms around me and holds me. I've never felt so pathetic in my whole life.

"Take the bags to the second floor. I'll put them in her room." Blaine instructs the driver as he takes me inside.

I sit in an arm chair he has in his living room and tap my fingers as I sniffle.

"Can I get you a drink?" He asks softly.

"Scotch, vodka, gin, anything with alcohol in it." I tell him.

"Water it is then." He says fetching a glass for me.

When he comes back my fingers are on my clothed stomach, touching and feeling my way around thinking about how I'm ever going to pull this off.

"It'll be alright, Kathryn. I'm here for you. Maybe you and Valmont will resolve this and-"

"Whose fucking side are you on? He cheated on me and you were right there watching. He's a fucking bastard and a jerk. I'm acting the part of an oven to have this stupid kid and he-he-he goes and fucking does that!"

"Okay. Calm down. Stress is not good. Why don't we go to yoga or something later? Girl bonding session?" He says smiling.

"Blaine if you haven't noticed you have a cock." I smirk.

"Well I'm about your only girlfriend so deal."

--

Blaine goes out to get something for dinner, it took me an hour to convince him I'd be alright for 30 minutes while he went and got dinner. Still he wasn't pleased at leaving me alone.

I now know why.

Because it's like Sebastian's been outside waiting for the moment when Blaine leaves and when he does he's suddenly at the front door ringing the bell and I'm suddenly opening the door and staring my husband in the face.

"Sebastian what are you doing here?" I ask.

He goes to step around me but I stand my ground. He's not getting in.

"I came to see you. Maybe we can talk. I've had a lot of time to think today and I've thought some things over and I'd like to tell you a few things."

"Go on." I say, standing against the door frame.

"May I come in?" He asks, walking straight past me and sitting in one of the arm chairs. I close the door and sit opposite him.

"Kathryn, when you told me you were pregnant I couldn't believe it. Honestly I thought you were joking because after our baby talk I was just so convinced we'd never have kids. So then you revealed that you were pregnant with my child." He grins. "I was ecstatic. It's like how girls when they're 13 and 14 dream up their big wedding and how perfect it'd be and although you were dreaming up how to dominate the world, I was dreaming up a child for me and my future wife to have. Someone to play catch with, granted I don't really play sport. But you get my point. Anyway, then you told me you'd already confided in Annette and Blaine and fuck, even Carter knew. I was angry because you felt you couldn't come straight to me with this information and I know you have your reasons but if you truly didn't want a baby at that time and wanted to have an abortion, reluctantly I would have said okay." He bites his lip, now I know he's nervous. "Then you said you would have gone and had an abortion without my knowledge and still would have kept it from me. You know what that felt like, Kathryn? It felt like we weren't even married. It felt like we were 17 again and even though we were each other's confidante we never needed the approval of the other for things and we had secrets. Marriage isn't supposed to be about secrets. I'm supposed to know everything about you and you're supposed to know everything about me."

He gets up and pulls a list out of his pants pocket.

"So I compiled a list of all the things you may not have known about me. I contemplated whether I should give it to you or not because you seemed pretty adamant that our marriage was over. But I don't give up that easy. I love you and that is why I married you, that is why I chose to spend the rest of my life with you and only you. I've made a mistake, a large one and I'm apologising now, tomorrow and forever until you forgive me. But be warned Kathryn, if you don't take me back I'm not settling for one day a week child visitation rights. I'll even try for sole custody and it will get ugly."

"Are you making threats, Sebastian?" I ask.

"No. I'm just telling you. So here's my list. I didn't come here to fight or argue or yell anymore. I love you and that's about all I can say right now."

Sebastian leaves quickly. He's probably afraid Blaine will find him here. I don't read the list because as far as I'm concerned I've witnessed the worst possible thing he could do to me and there is nothing that he could say or do to make me forget that.

--

My cell rings early morning, Blaine's already gone out to play tennis. I pick it up and don't bother to look at the caller ID. It's either Blaine or Sebastian.

"Hello?"

"Kathryn, hey. How are you? I heard about you and Sebastian and I am so sorry."

"Annette?" I question.

"Well of course."

"Do we have plans today or something because I'm kind of busy right now?" I tell her fakely as I chip my nail polish.

"No. I was just calling to see how you were. Look if you want me to I can talk to Sebastian about all this and-"

"And nothing. He cheated on me, Hargrove. He didn't just go out without me knowing her get angry at me for no reason he fucking cheated on me. Tell me Hargrove if you caught Carter practically molesting another girl, what would you do?"

"I'd hear him out. He would have a good reason hopefully. After a long talk, an explanation and a lot of I'm sorry's I would tell him that he was a jerk for doing it but I love him and we're having a child together and I forgive him. But that's me and Carter."

"Exactly. Sebastian and I…we don't…we're…well let's just say we're fucked up right?"

"Right."

"Well we don't work like you and Carter or anyone else for that matter. I know how Sebastian is, it was stupid to marry him in the first place. I mean what the hell was I thinking? He's always been a liar and a cheater. He's like the male version of me, I should have known."

I get up from my bed and pour myself a glass of vodka.

"I know Kathryn. Trust me I know more than anyone. But I also know that even when Sebastian was with me he always loved you no matter how much he denied it. It was always you and it always will be. He was furious at you understandably and I know that is no excuse for the cheating but he has apologised – several times from what I hear – and told you he loves you – are you drinking?"

I finger the glass in my hand.

"No. Not physically anyone. Mentally I've already had several glasses. But no I haven't any trace of alcohol in my system. I just pour a glass full of vodka and stare at it. It helps me to relax."

"You better not be. Anyway, as I was saying, I think you should take him back. He'll miss the first ultrasound and that moment you find out the sex of the baby. He'll miss the birth and the first word. The first time your child walks and every other first."

"I don't care. He screwed the fuck up and he has to pay. Look Annette I have to go, Blaine and I are having lunch. Bye."

"But it's only 10-" Annette is cut off when I hang up the phone.

--

Walking on the sidewalk I pass various designer boutiques. Some of my favourite. I wonder in just how many months I won't be able to wear anything from them. The question bothers me no longer then a few seconds when I pass a restaurant nearby.

I spot Sebastian oddly enough, but he's not alone. If I'm not mistaken he's with that slut he was with at the club.

As if he knows I'm watching him he turns around and sees me straight away. I watch him curse and excuse himself but he's too late. I walk off quickly, walking as fast as my designer heels will allow me. He catches up quickly though, only slightly breathless.

"Kathryn please stop."

"Why, Sebastian? So you can make up some sad excuse for having lunch with that tramp? No thank you. I have other thing to do today besides listening to a chronic liar."

He grabs my arm forcefully.

"Stop. Stop this okay? You know very well that I love you more than anyone or anything. It was a fucking huge mistake to go to that club and do what I did but I'm fucking sorry okay? I spent the rest of that night on the streets thinking what to say to you the next day."

"And what are you doing with her now, Sebastian? Making plans for your fucking future with her?"

"She found my number in a phone book and called me up. She wanted to have lunch and talk about what happened. It turns out she's engaged and she didn't want her fiancé to find out so she wanted to make sure I wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"Her husband to be should know what a tramp she is."

"Everyone makes mistakes Kathryn."

I pull away from him and shake my head.

"Not when their wife is pregnant with their first child."

As I start to walk away from him he calls my name out. I turn around to him.

"If I can make it up to you will you consider not divorcing me?" He smiles.

"You have 3 weeks Sebastian. That's when my first ultrasound is. If you can find a way to make it up to me before then, I'll consider taking your cheating ass back. If not, you'll find divorce papers on your desk."

He nods and waves. I don't wave back. I turn on my heel and rush out of sight.

--

Annette undresses in front of me, she's not ashamed anymore or embarrassed. I pass her the custom made white dress and she pulls it over and zips it up flawlessly. I admit she looks good in it.

"You know the best thing about us being pregnant around the same time? Our kids can go to school together and be friends."

I actually laugh out loud at her comment, it's so Annette like for her to say that. Truthfully the idea is appealing but not likely. For one my child would be enrolled in an expensive private school and hers in a public.

"Yeah. Great."

"Have you picked out names yet? Carter and I are thinking about Dylan for a boy. We haven't found a girl one yet."

"No. I haven't. I haven't really thought about it at all."

She gives this sympathetic look as she admires herself in the mirror.

"Things still bad between you and Sebastian?"

"Obviously."

"Don't worry, you two will get back together soon enough. You two are made for each other."

--

After getting home after 8pm due to having dinner with Carter and Annette Blaine is seated in his chair at his desk going through his little black book. I creep up to him and look over his shoulder. Interestingly enough seems there's a few in his little black book who seem to be perfect people.

"Kerry Little, interesting. Always thought she was such a pathetic loser. Seems I was wrong, she's doing the hard stuff too."

He jumps at my voice and snaps his book shut.

"This is private. Drug dealer, druggie confidentiality."

"Spare me. Why are you going through the book anyway?"

Blaine opens it up again and I see all these red crosses next to names.

"Those red crossed people are people who've not payed me. My good customers I give two weeks to pay up, after that I give them a warning and another week."

"And then? What you go shoot them?"

"No. Well, I don't know. I've never had a customer who hasn't payed after the warning."

"So who hasn't payed then?"

"Someone by the name of Archer Jenkins. I vaguely remember him."

I'd never heard of Archer Jenkins.

"Why don't I deal with him? I think I'm a lot more intimidating then a gay drug dealer. I can be quite convincing too."

"Kathryn you're knocked, you're not going anywhere near this guy or any other person who hasn't payed. What if they want to get violent?"

"I have more of a chance of kicking their ass then you do, Tuttle. Name and address and I'll be off."

Blaine flips to Archer's name and reluctantly writes his address down. He passes me the small piece of paper and orders me to be careful. I flip him off as I prance (Yes, prance) out the door.

I'm quite stunned when I arrive at Archer's address. He lives not too far from where mine and Sebastian's house in. I enter the building and ask the doorman for Archer Jenkins' floor. He presses the elevator button for me and tells me floor 3.

The elevator bell dings as I reach the 3rd floor and as soon as the door opens I come face to face with Archer Jenkins.

I'm no writer or poet or even that great at writing, so let me try and describe to you what he looks like.

We'll start with that gorgeous, soft looking short brown hair. It's not as long as Sebastian's has grown but it's not as short as Blaine's has been cut. He has these deep green eyes, like almost black, it's like staring into nothing. Lips, oh yes those lips. Admittedly they don't look as luscious as Sebastian's do but God they're some of the best I've seen. Archer is tall, a lot taller then me and somewhat taller than Sebastian. He's also a lot muscular and quite tanned.

I stare at him for the first few seconds I'm there, analysing everything about him from his face to his arms to his legs to the light grey t-shirt that tightly fits his torso and the loose fitting black sweat pants.

"Hi, Archer is it?" I say, finally able to talk as I move past him into his apartment.

"Yes it is. And who might you be?"

He spins around quickly as I move past him.

"Kathryn Val…Merteuil. Kathryn Merteuil, a friend of Blaine Tuttle's."

As soon as I finish my sentence his lips twitch in an ungodly manner and he gives a little hint of a smirk.

"Ah yes, I've been meaning to speak to Mr. Tuttle. I owe him money, that's why you're here right? You're like his goon, you'll ask for the money and when I don't pay up, you'll beat me senseless?"

"No. I'm here for the money but I don't need to beat you senseless to get it."

"You're right."

He moves closer to me and takes my chin in his large hand. I look him in the eyes and stare at his almost black holes of nothing. His mouth is so close to mine I can almost taste the sweet goodness of him.

"You're quite intimidating you know? Those beautiful emerald eyes, lovely long legs." He pauses as he looks down. "That voluptuous chest and that perfect little ass you have there." He grabs hold of my ass.

Archer lets go and steps back. I'm slightly flushed from my encounter with him and somewhat surprised. I thought Archer would be some sleazy, revolting jerk that I'd have to beat to get money out of.

"Let me just grab the money, please take a seat."

As he walks off I sit on his sofa, a bright red thing that's so out of my taste that I almost don't sit on it. I look around and take in things about him. I can work out people from a photograph usually, with Archer I have no clue. The only photograph he has in here is one of him and an older male and female I presume to be his parents.

Looking around there's so little in the room. Unlike my house with various expensive paintings and ornaments the room is quite empty. A sofa, two arm chairs and a book case are the only things in this room.

"How much did I owe him again?" Archer asks, coming back in the room.

"10,000."

He pulls out a very large wad of cash and hands it to me. I put it in my purse safely and thank him.

"Would you like a drink?" He asks as I press the elevator button.

I go to say yes, after all old habits die hard. Then I remember I'm pregnant.

"No. Thank you."

"You don't drink?" He questions pouring a glass of scotch for himself.

"Not anymore."

"Recovering alcoholic?"

"I'm pregnant."

He seems surprised and stops making his drink.

"Ah, so you're married then? Or at the least have a boyfriend."

I look to my finger, no ring because I've taken it off.

"Was married would be the correct term."

"I'm not sorry to hear that." He says cockily. "The guy obviously didn't deserve such an exquisite creature like you."

"Are you trying to seduce a pregnant woman Mr. Jenkins?"

"No. Making friends. I'm new in town, I thought making friends would be healthy for my suddenly non-existent social life."

"I don't do friends with anybody. Blaine aside of course. I wasn't even friends with my husband we were merely accomplices that had some form of love or lust between them."

"You're really not the friendliest person are you Miss Merteuil."

"Who needs friends?"

His hand reaches under the bar and he pulls out a newspaper of some sort. As I get closer I realise it's the society newspaper.

"You don't fool me. I know who you are. Kathryn former Merteuil Valmont. Married to your former step-brother, Sebastian Valmont. You're the Queen of Manhattan, so many people adore you that it's impossible to count. Although from what I hear you're a down right dirty little bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't worry. I find you intriguing." Archer says, his thumb meeting my cheek. "You're an interesting character Kathryn, you've been to rehab, you've been in a coma, involved with a psychotic man from England and now married to your former step-brother."

"So what? I've lived a little. Now if you'll excuse me, I should be getting home."

"Come to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

I laugh. So hard I almost cry.

"Dinner with an arrogant asshole like you? I was involved with one for years, all that comes of them is hurt and betrayal. No thank you."

"One dinner. If I still repulse you, I'll leave you alone."

I press the elevator button again.

"No."

"Just one. I'll take you to any place you want to eat."

"I can't be seen with another man, it'll be all over the society papers the next day."

"Then come here and I'll cook for you, I'm an exceptional cook."

"You sure are modest." I reply with sarcasm.

My elevator arrives and I get inside and press the button for the ground floor.

"Dinner, here at 8. I'll cook you the best meal you've had in you're whole life."

"Fine. But dinner is all."

The elevator door closes and it descends to the ground floor.

* * *

I'd like to say I've been busy, thus the reason for the late updates but I would be lying. Truth is I'm lazy but just to show you guys I care I'm updating 2 chapters today. Enjoy and don't forget to review.


	37. Thirty Seven

I arrive at Archer's apartment just before 8. It's the first time I've gone out with another man for dinner (Besides Blaine) in a long time. Truthfully I was a little nervous. Blaine told me this was a bad idea, he said that if Sebastian found out he'd be furious. I disregarded Blaine, I have to keep my options open.

"Archer? Are you here?" I call out, stepping into his apartment.

He calls out to me, telling me he's in the kitchen. I make my way around looking for the kitchen, eventually finding it. I open the door and watch as he stirs something in a pan and then tastes it. He notices me and smiles.

"Does this taste too salty?" He asks, spooning some of the mixture on a spoon and holding it out for me.

I wrap my mouth around the spoon and taste the delightful mixture.

"Not at all. It's delicious actually."

"Great!" He exclaims, setting out two bowls on the bench. "I hope you're hungry."

No. Not really. I'm never hungry.

"Certainly am." I lie easily.

"By the way you look exceptional. I love that dress on you." He smirks.

I take a glance at myself wondering what the hell he's talking about. I barely made an effort to look good.

"Thanks. You don't look half bad yourself."

I wasn't lying. He has a button down black shirt on with the sleeves rolled up and black dress pants on. He's got no shoes on but we're not going anywhere so that doesn't matter. His brown hair is slightly wet, I presume from a recent shower.

"Please, take a seat." He says, gesturing towards the dining table.

I sit and wait patiently for me meal. He brings over a bowl of spaghetti for me and one for him and then a plate of bread.

"Home made bread." He smiles. "Don't get too full though, I made desert. Chocolate and strawberry moose." He says, sitting across from me.

We eat in silence for 10 minutes or so, slurping noises from the pasta and bread crunching is about the only thing heard. His phone rings and he excuses himself for a few minutes which gives me a chance to not eat.

When he comes back he sets his phone on the table and apologises.

"Sorry. That was my mom."

"That's fine. At least you have a relationship with your mother. Mine's a self absorbed bitch."

"So I've heard."

I smile and finish off the rest of my pasta. He continues to eat his, eventually slurping up the remains and taking mine and his bowl to the sink.

"How far are you along?" He asks as he takes out two glasses of moose.

"Excuse me?" I question, off in my own world.

"The baby. How far are you along?"

"Oh. Right, about 10 weeks now."

"Any food cravings yet?"

"No. Food is not one of my favourite things."

"Morning sickness?"

None more than usual. "Not really."

"You're lucky. When my sister was pregnant she had horrible morning sickness. She couldn't eat a lot because most of it made her sick."

"Did she kill the kid when it came out?" I laugh but he doesn't. "Sorry."

"No it's fine. It's just when their baby was born he had complications. He was born with Cerebral Palsy and his liver wasn't working properly. He almost died. You didn't know, so don't worry."

He sets down my moose and passes me a spoon. I feel guilty for saying anything about the baby.

"I'm sorry. Is he okay now?"

"They're dealing. I mean obviously he'll never be fully _normal_ because of his Cerebral Palsy but he had a liver transplant. He's 7 now."

Half an hour of mostly silence, he washes up then takes me for a tour around his apartment. I see every room.

"This is my recreation room. I do my relaxing in here. Anything you can think of, painting, drawing, yoga, body building, martial arts."

"Is this one of your drawings?" I ask, looking at a particularly interesting framed piece on the wall.

The drawing is of two people kissing in this busy place with cars and people around that look like they're moving fast. It's like time has stopped in the drawing for just those two and everybody else seems to move around them like they're not even there. It's quite amazing.

"Yes. One of my first better drawings. I was in high school when I drew this. I was in love, or what I thought was love anyway."

"Love. I hate that word. I hate it with a passion. I hate how it fools people in to thinking you have security with a person. It's wrong. If anything people should be restricted to lust or passion at least then there's the chance of failure. Saying I love you is like saying we'll never fight or I'll never break your heart. I think I've proved that theory wrong."

I ramble but I don't realise. I'm too busy admiring his drawings.

"Wow. Sebastian must have really fucked you up."

"Fucked me up is an understatement."

"Someone like him doesn't deserve you. I know what he's like. He finds screwing random girls and then breaking their hearts amusing. It's awful. I couldn't imagine doing it myself. But pledging his undying love to you and then ruining it like he has. It makes me wonder if anyone can ever be truly happy with one sole person."

He comes up behind me as I study a painting. His hands reach down on my waist as he leans over my shoulder.

"I painted that yesterday after you left. You inspired me. It's not finished yet."

I cock my head to the left, the painting is so simple. A girl's back to the painter, her hair cascading down her back with her face turned towards the front. She has eyes and a nose but no mouth.

"It's creative."

His mouth lets out a hot breath. I turn around and face him.

"I should go. It's late. Blaine's probably wondering where I am."

"You can stay. You shouldn't be in a cab this late. Let me make up the spare bed."

"No. No thank you. Blaine will kill me if I don't go home. I'll just call my driver."

"Kathryn, please. You will make me worry if you go. Stay."

"Archer I appreciate your offer but I'm pregnant and have a very protective gay male up wondering where I am. Thank you very much for dinner."

I get in the elevator, he gets in with me. We ride down together to the ground floor.

"Call me sometime, maybe we can have dinner again sometime." I tell him as I get out.

He follows me out, dismissing the doorman as we walk outside to the front.

"I'll wait with you. Your car won't be here for a few minutes yet."

I smile. We engage in small conversation, nothing really big. I see headlights in the distance and step to the curb. As the car gets closer I realise it's not my car but I know that car. Oh do I know that car.

Sebastian's car drives towards us, well not us exactly but it drives along the road getting closer. As it does it slows down and I know he's noticed me. His car makes an abrupt halt on the other side of the road, he gets out with out looking and slams his car door.

"Kathryn what the hell are you doing out this late?" He questions angrily.

"It's like 10 Sebastian. Besides it's none of your business."

He grabs my arm. "I'm taking you back to Blaine's." He glares at Archer hatefully. "You need to go find something better to do than seducing pregnant woman. Fucking idiot."

"Sebastian!" I yell, slapping him.

Sebastian lets go as his hand goes to his face.

"What the fuck!? I'm trying to get you away from this guy. Let me take you back to Blaine's."

"No. Get the fuck away from me, Sebastian. I'm capable of making it home on my own. I'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and go home now so Archer and I can say a proper goodbye."

"Kathryn you're carrying my kid, I want to ensure you and our kid is safe. Let me take you home at least then I know you're home safe and sound."

"Fine! I'll fucking ride with you."

Sebastian smiles. Archer just shakes his head.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Thank you for coming tonight it was an interesting night."

"Thank you for dinner." I smirk, reaching up and kissing his cheek.

I linger there, his hand brushes my shoulder. Sebastian clears his throat.

"Goodnight." He says, watching as I cross the road with Sebastian.

Once we're out of sight Sebastian turns to me as we stop at a red light. He doesn't say anything and I don't look at him. He drives off when the light turns green and only after then does he speak.

"Did you fuck him?" He says softly, cringing at his own words.

"That's none of your business."

"So you did? Great, my kid had a strange dick poking its head."

"I didn't fuck him you moron. My sex craving has vanished completely thanks to this thing."

He smiles. I want to slap him.

"That guy's a dick. Stay away from him Kathryn."

"Oh gee Sebastian thank you for telling me that but you don't fucking have a say."

We're silent for awhile. His hands clench the steering wheel angrily until his knuckles turn white.

"I'm working on something big to get you back, Kathryn. But you have to wait until the time is up. Don't go fucking around with him until you officially decide we're over okay?"

"Whatever."

He pulls up outside Blaine's house. Sure enough Blaine's on the porch step waiting for me. He bounds down the steps and runs towards me only then realising Sebastian in the car.

"Valmont. What you're kidnapping her now?"

"She needed a ride. I gave her one."

Blaine smirks.

"Don't you fucking dare Tuttle. I'm in a hideous mood."

I walk off from the boys and inside the house.

--

When I wake up the next morning Blaine is already up. I can hear him in the kitchen making coffee, I also hear his gorgeous boyfriend. I wrap my silk robe around myself and head towards the kitchen, it smelling of coffee and freshly cooked toast.

"Good morning Princess." Blaine chirps, handing me a plate with a piece of toast on it. I cringe at the food. "Eat it or I'll kick your bony little ass out."

His boyfriend looks at me and smiles. Fuck, he's so hot.

"I heard about you and you're husband. I'm sorry to hear things are going badly."

"I'm not." I reply, biting my toast.

His eyebrows quirk up. Blaine mouths _don't go there_ to him. Charlie smirks and sips his coffee.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? Blaine makes a good coffee, don't you babe?"

"Kathryn can't drink coffee." Blaine states.

I glare at him.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh. Well congratulations."

"Thanks."

Blaine picks his coat up from the coat rack and starts to put it on. Charlie follows Blaine and starts to put his own on.

"Stay here. I'm just going to be 5 minutes, Charlie." Blaine giggles.

"But I want to come."

"You did already. Twice in fact."

I roll my eyes at the pair.

"Please baby." Charlie begs, biting the ear lobe of Blaine.

"Kathryn might need someone stay here."

"Fine. But when you get back you're not leaving my sight."

Blaine giggles as Charlie slaps his ass. I almost vomit in my mouth.

--

Admiring a beautiful dress in the window of a Chanel boutique I spot a familiar blonde haired man walking towards me carrying several bags in his hands and grinning like the stupid idiot he can be.

"Sebastian. Stalking me now? How pathetic of you."

"Yeah, I had this tracker put in your brain, it tells me where you are 24/7."

I look at him suspiciously. Honestly, I wouldn't put it past him at all.

"I'm kidding Kathryn."

"I know."

"How are you?"

"I was fine until you showed up."

"Don't be like that. I've been shopping for baby stuff."

"I'm not even at 12 weeks yet. There's still the chance of miscarriage."

"I don't care."

He hands me a bag, I open it up and look inside. There's this cute little brown teddy with red ribbon around it's neck. I almost smile at it because it's just so cute and adorable and just perfect.

"You like?" He asks.

"It's okay."

"I put a cot on hold at the store too. It's magnificent, really."

"Great. I have to go now."

Sebastian notices the dress in the window.

"Do you like that dress? I'll buy it for you."

"I have my own money thanks. I'm not like Annette."

"I know, Kathryn. I'd like to buy it for you though."

"I don't want it. It won't fit anyway in a few more weeks. What's the point?"

I pass him his bags back and check my watch. I'm supposed to be meeting Archer in 20 minutes for lunch on the other side of town.

"Can I take you for lunch, Kathryn?"

"No. I mean, I'm busy. I already have plans."

He laughs like I'm the loneliest loser in the world and he's my only friend.

"With who?"

"Annette."

"Liar. She's in California with Carter visiting his parents."

"Fine. I'm going to lunch with Archer okay?"

Of course, he looks angry. I don't particularly care.

"Are you dating him now or something?"

"No. We're friends. Maybe one day."

"You're still married to me you know?"

"For 2 more weeks. Unless you can find the grand gesture to make it up to me. I'm planning ahead."

"Well you shouldn't because what I have planned baby, you'll be begging to take me back."

I smirk and wave casually as I walk away. I'm intrigued to know what he has planned.

--

I'm having lunch with Archer, he's talking and I'm listening. I've eaten an unusual amount of food for me.

"I've been thinking about having children of my own, I love kids. Adore them even."

"I bet they're not what they seem. I mean how great can something be that wakes you up at 2am and wants to suck on your nipples for an hour or so? Not great at all if you ask me."

He laughs.

"If you hate kids so much why are you having one?"

"Because my idiot husband forgot to wear protection and knocked me up."

"Well obviously. But I mean why didn't you just get an abortion instead of keeping it?"

I smile and look towards a table with a woman, a man and a young child. They look happy as the child sits in one of those baby seats and the parents talk happily.

"Honestly, I want that." I say, pointing to the table. "I want to have something more to live for than just my wealth and Sebastian. I want the kid without the crying and looking after part."

"Are you scared? About what kind of mother you'll be, I mean?"

"Of course." I say, laughing.

"My mother was horrible. She ruined my childhood and adolescence. She was always telling me to stand up straight or something like that. I don't want to be my mother and screw up my child's life. I mean I turned to using drugs and alcohol as a way to get away. And I used sex to get affection."

"She wasn't the loving type?"

It's my turn to laugh. He looks at me strangely.

"Not at all. She hated being affectionate towards anyone, including her 3 husbands. The only time she ever acted like she loved me was in public when she had to. Seriously if she had have had it her way she would have gave me my trust fund when I was 10 and told me to never contact her again."

Archer grabs my hand and kisses it. I smile but there's that guilty little part of me that says no.

"Well lucky you have me then."

"Sorry?" I ask.

"If things don't work out between you and Stephen, I mean."

"Sebastian."

"Whoever. If things don't work out with you two, you'll have me. I'll be the father you never had."

I get up and put down my napkin and look at Archer unbelievably.

"The father I never had? I never said my father was no good. Actually I don't believe I even mentioned him."

"I just assumed-"

"Well you shouldn't have. My father was the best. He took care of me and looked after me better than you could ever do. Thank you for lunch, Archer but I'm afraid I must go."

"Kathryn, wait. I'm sorry, I didn't know. Let me make it up to you? Come over for dinner tomorrow night."

"I have plans."

"Please."

I start walking out of the restaurant, Archer follows. I make it to the valet before Archer gets a hold of my arm. I push him roughly but he doesn't budge.

"Archer, let me go."

"Agree to dinner tomorrow night."

"Archer you're hurting me."

Archer doesn't let go though. The valet approaches us and requests Archer let me go but he still doesn't. He pushes me against a wall roughly and holds my arms above me head. The valet again requests for Archer to let me go, this time Archer punches the valet.

"Say you'll come to dinner."

I feel my heart beat a thousand times quicker than it ever has and my stomach feels odd. Something isn't right.

"Archer…"

He pulls me forward then slams me back into the wall again. I scream out in pain as the valet silently dials 911. Tears are creeping from my eyes, there's something wrong.

"Just agree to dinner and I'll let you go."

Suddenly my blond haired angel appears in the corner of my eye. He hasn't seen me yet and he's still carrying the bags he was earlier. When he notices me he gets this evil look in his eyes and drops the bags quickly. Archer doesn't notice Sebastian until it's too late. Sebastian tackles Archer to the ground. I collapse close by.

There's a struggle between them and a punch or two thrown by Sebastian. The valet helps restrain Archer as Sebastian runs over to me.

"Kathryn!"

"Sebastian. Something isn't right. I can feel it."

He looks at me horrified and dials an ambulance as he waits by my side. I feel ill.

"It'll be okay, Katie. The baby will be fine. I'll make sure of it."

--

Sebastian sits beside my hospital bed. His hand sits atop mine, he looks tired but he's awake for me. It's been 6 hours since I was rushed to hospital. It's almost 8.00pm.

"Do you think everything will be alright, Seb?" I ask, almost so soft that he barely hears me.

I watch him as he contemplates what to say. It brings tears to my eyes to know that he actually has to contemplate it.

"I don't want to lie to you. I'm honestly not sure. I'm hoping and wishing and praying our baby will be okay, Kathryn. But I can't say it will."

He kisses my forehead just as the doctor enters the room and closes the door behind him.

"Kathryn Valmont?"

I nod. He sits in the chair beside Sebastian.

"We've ran all the tests and we've just recently got the results. I'm happy to say it's all fine. You were assaulted I believe outside the restaurant?"

"Yes. I could just feel something was wrong."

"You made the right decision to come here. Due to the stress you were under whilst being assaulted you could have suffered a miscarriage but luckily you didn't. It is vital that you try to keep your stress levels as low as possible for the duration of your pregnancy but especially for the first 12 – 14 weeks."

"Thank you, so much." Sebastian says.

"You're quite welcome, Mr Valmont.

"Is everything fine with our baby?" I ask.

"Baby? I assume you haven't had your first ultrasound?" The doctor asks, flipping through his charts.

"No. My appointment is in two weeks."

"Oh well, congratulations Mr and Mrs Valmont because you're expecting twins."

Sebastian grins. I don't so much.

"Thank you, thank you!" Sebastian exclaims as the doctor exits.

"Twins." I whisper.

"Twins." Sebastian counters.

"Two babies."

"Yeah."

"I hate you, Sebastian Valmont." I say, with a half smile.

"I don't still have to find a grand gesture do I? I mean I saved our babies and you."

"No. I forgive you. But Sebastian if you ever do it again I'll not only castrate you and kick you out but I will forbid you from seeing our children."

"I promise." He whispers, kissing my hand. "Are you curious as to what I had planned?"

"A little."

"I was going to hire out the theatre place that we saw our first play at and plan a huge baby shower. I was also going to plan our first trip with our baby, now babies. I was thinking maybe a month in France, visiting relatives, then a week in Paris, a few weeks in Italy and Greece and finally two weeks in Barcelona on a private beach side villa."

"I will never repeat this nor own up to ever saying it, but you're amazing."

"I love you."

"You too."

* * *

And here is the second update for this story today. Enjoy and don't forget to review


	38. Thirty Eight

**Quick note: **Hi! So I'll go into length down the bottom at the author's note but I just want to say that this is a re-write of chapter 38 and I am really considering starting this up again. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Sebastian and I exit the hospital building. We've just been for our first ultrasound. In Sebastian's hand are the ultrasound pictures of our twins, he can't stop looking at them with a big goofy smile on his all too handsome face.

"I just can't believe it. That…right there. That's _our_ babies. A part of me and a part of you. We fucking made that!" He says, blindly walking towards his car.

"Yes, Sebastian I know. I saw them on the monitor. Believe it, because they are real." I tell him, opening my door to get in.

"It's just so…amazing. That we can create life." He says, passing me the photos.

I nod my head and place the precious pictures in my handbag. We pull out of the car park and on to the road.

"Seb?" I ask.

"Yeah babe?" He replies.

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

He smirks and turns his attention from the road to me for a millisecond before averting his eyes back to the road. "Why have you? Why, Kathryn I think you're growing soft."

"Shut up you idiot. I asked you because it's exactly the type of thing a sappy bastard like you would do." I say, slapping his arm.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah I guess I have thought of a couple. Nothing serious."

"I'd like to hear them."

Sebastian turns into our street and not a few seconds later he pulls into our garage. As we both get out of the car he looks at me.

"Violet." He says all of a sudden.

"Uh is our daughter going to be a stripper?" I ask, scrunching my face up.

Sebastian laughs. I follow him inside our house and place my handbag on the kitchen bench.

"Fine you tell me a name then." He says, turning on the coffee maker.

I take the pictures out of my bag and stare at them. You can't really make out much at 13 weeks you can see the formation of a baby (or in my case babies). I try to make out facial features but it's hard, especially when you don't really know what you're looking at. I try to picture my babies here in my arms, or grown up a little like maybe 4 or 5 and I try to put names to faces.

"I don't know. It's hard to think of giving something a permanent name when you don't really know what it looks like." I say.

* * *

I'm still my nightgown when I hear Blaine call out from the front entrance. Sebastian is just coming down from upstairs a towel wrapped around his waist. It's early morning about 9am. Blaine enters the room with a big smile on his face, he's always happy.

"Good morning." He chirps, snapping a piece of fruit from my plate.

"Hey!" I say, scolding him.

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist, Kat. As if you were going to eat it anyway." Blaine says rolling his eyes at me.

"Well excuse me but I actually was planning on eating it now that I'm eating for three." I tell him, waiting for him to catch on.

"So you're eating for Sebastian too? That's nice of you." He tells me.

I can see Sebastian smirk in the corner of my eye. He's seated next to me reading the morning paper. It's takes a few moments but suddenly Blaine does catch on and his eyes go wide and his mouth forms a giant 'O' and he starts to squeal.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you having twins!?" He squeals.

"Yes." Sebastian replies. "And no, we are not naming one after you."

"Oh c'mon! You'll have two now. Can't you just even give one my name as their middle name?" He whines.

"Nope." Sebastian answers, standing up.

I smirk to myself and listen to them bicker. Things haven't changed much between them in all the years I've known them to be friends. They've always had a love-hate relationship a bit like mine and Sebastian's but less intense. Sebastian doesn't exactly agree with Blaine's lifestyle but loves Blaine too much to stop being friends. Blaine on the other hand and almost always been in love with Sebastian is is always hoping one day Sebastian will wake up and realise he's gay and fall madly and deeply in love with Blaine. Fat chance.

"Boys!" I interject. "As much as I enjoy listening to the two of you fight like a gay married couple, we have plans to day Sebastian with your father. So if you'll excuse us Tuttle we'd like to get a quickie in before I have to start getting ready."

Blaine's face scrunches up. "Okay, ew. You didn't have to tell me that. I'm off! Congratulations you two!"

He waves us goodbye as he makes his way back to the front entrance and out the house.

"Now about that quickie…" Sebastian says, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Yes?" I question, a seductive look in my eyes.

"Where is this going to happen? The bedroom? The bathroom? My study…?" He asks, his boner is now very apparent under his towel.

I hoist myself up onto the dining room table and carelessly shove my plate aside. "How about right here?" I purr.

"You read my mind."

* * *

We arrive at the restaurant a little early, we are seated and given glasses of water to keep us occupied while we wait. Sebastian leans over and brushes my hair away from my ear.

"Nathanial." He whispers.

"What?" I answer.

"For a boy. Nathanial Valmont." He replies, his fingers lacing through my own.

I smile. Even though I'm not one for all this sappy 'let's talk about our future kids' shit I oddly find it very sweet that Sebastian is actually thinking about it still. I wander off in to my own world, picturing Sebastian as a father. In my mind he's playing with our kids and he's a wonderful father, nothing like his father was and nothing like my mother. He nudges me waiting for my reply.

"It's nice. We'll see." I reply.

I rest my hand on his upper thigh and Sebastian automatically thinks I want to have sex. He shifts uncomfortable in his seat before leaning over once again and whispering in my ear.

"Do you think we have time for another quickie?"

"No." I answer back.

"What? Why?" He says seemingly annoyed that I rejected him.

"Because you're father just got here." I say, placing that all too familiar fake smile on my face.

Sebastian turns his attention to the distance where Sebastian's father and his new wife and her two kids are walking towards our table. His new wife is much younger then my mother. After all my mother wasn't much younger then Edward. She looks about 35 maybe, but a good 35. She doesn't look anything like my mother did at 35 after years of plastic surgery. Following closely behind her are what I imagine are her two children, they look in their early teens. The boy is the youngest I think, probably about 13. He has braces on his teeth and pimples on his face. He's in that awkward stage that Sebastian never went through (because he's a lucky asshole). The girl is slightly older maybe 14 or 15. She is not going through an awkward phase. Her head is held high and she looks like she knows that every male in the room is looking at her. She's mildly attractive for a blonde girl (I hate blondes).

"Sebastian, Kathryn." He says greeting us as he pulls out a seat for his new wife.

Neither Sebastian and I were able to make the wedding as they got married in the last week of our honeymoon.

"Dad." Sebastian acknowledges, nodding his head.

"I'd like you both to meet my beautiful new wife Lara and her two children Stefan and Anna." Edward says.

I smile politely and give a small hello.

The waitress brings around our menus and even though there is enough to go around Sebastian and I share one. While he thinks about which steak he'd like to order I am compiling a list of all the foods I'd like to eat right now. I am particularly hungry right now. The waitress comes back around and starts taking orders when she comes to Sebastian he orders his meal and mine.

"I'll have the eye fillet steak, rare and my wife will have the warm chicken salad and a side of fries." He says. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat fries." Sebastian laughs after the waitress leaves.

"So how is everything?" Edward asks.

Sebastian and him start to talk about the business and how it's all going. I sit there listening to Lara talk about how much of a shame it was that Sebastian and I couldn't make it to the wedding. Under the table Sebastian grabs my hand and then clears his throat.

"Actually dad, we have something to tell you." He says, smiling at me. "Kathryn and I…well…we're expecting."

Edward almost jumps out of his seat. "You're pregnant?" He says looking at me. "I knew you looked especially wonderful today."

The comment makes me feel a little less then wonderful, it always has creepy written all over it.

"That's not all." Sebastian says. "We're having twins."

This time Edward does jump out of his seat. "That is such great news son! Not one but two heirs to take over the business when the time comes. Better than I could do."

Sebastian half smiles at the reference to Sebastian's mother who died when Sebastian was young.

"You'll love being pregnant." Lara tells me. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world. That first time you feel a movement in your stomach, the birth. It's incredible. The best part is the first time you get to hold your baby in your arms and they look at you and you instantly love them."

I nod and agree with her but am secretly wanting to vomit.

"So how far are you along?" Lara asks.

"About 13 weeks. We just had our scan yesterday." I say.

"Pregnancy is beautiful." She says.

I roll my eyes.

* * *

By the time Sebastian and I get home we're already undressing each other. We don't make it any further then the bottom of the stairs. He sits on the third step up and I climb into his lap. Both our clothes are strewn from the front door to where we stopped. Our naked bodies are pressed against each other.

"I don't know what it is…" He kisses my neck. "But you're a hundred times more beautiful now that you're pregnant."

"Mmm, well lucky for you this pregnant thing is making me so horny I just want to fuck all the time now." I reply, stroking his cock.

"Maybe I could take 9 months off and we could just stay here and fuck all day and all night long." He moans.

I sit on his cock, my pussy swallowing it all up. He grips onto my waist a little looser then usual as I start bouncing up and down.

"Oh fuck. Yes." I cry out, my nails raking across his chest.

"Baby…fuck. You are so fucking sexy." Sebastian groans, his hands gripping tightly on to my ass.

"Mmm. Oh my God. Yes. Fuck me baby. Fuck me, Seb." I scream.

"Shit. Kat…Kath…Kathryn I'm so…close." He says, slamming me down harder on top of him.

"Cum Seb. Oh cum for me." He tell him, licking his ear.

At that very moment both of us hear someone walking into the house but neither of us are prepared to stop. We both keep fucking not willing to let go of this high just yet. Sebastian rubs his thumb over my clit and I can't help but succumb to my release. As I tighten around him his releases too, both of us breathless and slightly sweaty.

As I turn around to get off him I find Annette standing in the doorway her face bright red. I am not at all ashamed or embarrassed. Sebastian laughs as he gets up and puts his clothes back on.

"I am SO sorry." She says, covering her eyes. "I should have knocked."

"Don't worry about it." Sebastian says, putting the last of his clothes on.

"Don't be such a prude Annette." I laugh, putting the last of my clothes on.

She uncovers her eyes, still a little red.

"I have been so fucking horny lately." I tell her, walking towards the sitting room.

"Yes. I know what you mean, Carter and I have been doing it non-stop for days now. I can't get enough."

I laugh at the idea of Annette being a sex crazed pregnant unmarried Kansas bible basher. I fix my hair in a nearby mirror noticing the very slight bump under my dress. I rub my hand over it lightly and try to put the image of me in a couple more months 3 times this size.

"Anyways Kansas, what can I do for you?" I ask, taking a seat on the chaise sofa.

"Well, I came over here to personally invite the two of you to my baby shower." She says.

She hands me an invitation with all the details and I almost laugh in her face.

"You're having a baby shower at your tiny apartment?" I say.

"Yes? What's so bad about that? I'm sorry that Carter and I can't afford to rent out Times Square." She rolls her eyes.

"Look, we're both pregnant, we're both due around the same time. I don't have a lot of friends I'd like to invite so why don't we just have a joint baby shower here. There is plenty of room for all your hick friends and family and I can have it catered and decorated." I tell her. Who would have ever thought that I'd be asking Annette Hargrove to have a baby shower with me?

"Kathryn I can't let you do that! It's too much." She says.

"I'm not going to offer you twice Annette. So either say yes or no. I'm not often this nice or generous." I tell her.

"Okay! Okay. Fine. You have a deal." Annette replies.

"Good! Don't even worry one bit. I'll organise everything. All you have to do is give me a list of all the people you want to invite and I'll send the invitations out. Let's say for like in a couple of months? After all I need time to plan."

"Sounds good!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **So Hi! Oh my God has it been long? So here's the thing. Last night I was super bored and I was reading back on A Kathryn Tale and when I got to the end I was like what? No way. I wanted more. Me, I wanted more. The writer. And I thought how unfair it was of me to leave you all hanging so I got inspired and I thought why not start it up again?

So this chapter is a re-write of the last chapter (chapter 38). I felt the only way I could get into this again was to re-write the last chapter and go from there. I did change a little bit because I didn't like some parts but most of it is the same. I just felt like it would give me motivation and at least I would remember what was going on and I could start writing from this chapter onwards.

I want to say however that I'm not going to promise to be updating this like once a week or anything. I'd really like to update once a week at least and be able to finish this or something along those lines but I don't want to let you all down if I stop this again. What I will say is that I'm really enthusiastic about doing this. I read some reviews from this story and remembered how lovely you all are and encouraging and even to this day I still have people favouriting and following this story even after not updating for years.

So thank you to everyone who has been really patient and I know this has been a long time coming. I hope that anyone who does read this will fall back in love with this story. I also hope that you're as excited as I am about this. Please don't hate me for taking so long!

Drop a review when you're done because as always they keep me writing and it's always nice to hear from all of you.


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